tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44516020206638465312024-03-17T09:00:32.572-04:00night.owls.sbThis Night Owl Blog has given so much!
It is a fun place, we don't bash and we have fun being "tedious"!
We offer advice, give love, lots of free food and an open forum which can be about anything that is important, thought provoking or just plain silly.
And sometimes we just March (some to different drummers, but all together). :)
It is not about a single person, it is about all the people on any given day blended together.....Goldie!night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.comBlogger2277125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4451602020663846531.post-38785278376334522272024-03-17T09:00:00.006-04:002024-03-17T09:00:00.138-04:00~ Happy St. Patrick's Day ~<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjumHdww-h6yf85sTMrs5iDC6BoPFkBHtusfhzCdYgZPd-mwMTfO0fzKRqqkEoTUn8fsXinIQnH_f0NzD00r1u8n-E_gNUB8EXf4rCa81pmDVNgGgZU0xRvda0teAdy588BkSWPu3pZKrb2ue4ELxvga_0IgR3RwBj6VoLIZptDYpiCys1VNxvyxTY3XyMP/s512/7d1aee2aeb75a543946d47aa7673a477.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="512" data-original-width="512" height="460" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjumHdww-h6yf85sTMrs5iDC6BoPFkBHtusfhzCdYgZPd-mwMTfO0fzKRqqkEoTUn8fsXinIQnH_f0NzD00r1u8n-E_gNUB8EXf4rCa81pmDVNgGgZU0xRvda0teAdy588BkSWPu3pZKrb2ue4ELxvga_0IgR3RwBj6VoLIZptDYpiCys1VNxvyxTY3XyMP/w460-h460/7d1aee2aeb75a543946d47aa7673a477.jpg" width="460" /></a></div><p> <br /><br /></p>night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4451602020663846531.post-22722951864584982682024-03-07T09:00:00.002-05:002024-03-07T09:00:00.145-05:00Jim<p style="text-align: center;"> by Dianne</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitMxGeZQywMt3HkJ8rp-cvweM8tVRvfKp4JgidrKpvZrImBAis4pW3hRjmnNIWRFReQJNb-ngRyM1IKA1e4mUmFDyv6CoKoQU3wO-M-hD_PdnfEOGalo_NfGuPw30je84F5Cit5K9-SQCky6b_L83ONVr8x2kfGpcS4Xmt_6k7IayVDsRGRAmnxzi80DNk/s602/jims-funeral-is-on-sunday-a-wife-treats-hubby-by-taking-him-to-a-strip-club-for-his-birthday-1477069693.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="549" data-original-width="602" height="495" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitMxGeZQywMt3HkJ8rp-cvweM8tVRvfKp4JgidrKpvZrImBAis4pW3hRjmnNIWRFReQJNb-ngRyM1IKA1e4mUmFDyv6CoKoQU3wO-M-hD_PdnfEOGalo_NfGuPw30je84F5Cit5K9-SQCky6b_L83ONVr8x2kfGpcS4Xmt_6k7IayVDsRGRAmnxzi80DNk/w542-h495/jims-funeral-is-on-sunday-a-wife-treats-hubby-by-taking-him-to-a-strip-club-for-his-birthday-1477069693.jpg" width="542" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p><br /></p>night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4451602020663846531.post-56949087906263915172024-02-26T09:00:00.001-05:002024-02-26T09:00:00.145-05:00Crocodile Farm<p style="text-align: center;"> by Dianne</p><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, "Lucida Grande", sans-serif; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">When a group of tourists visited a crocodile farm, the owner of the place launched a bold proposal, "Whoever dares to jump, swim to the shore, and survive, I'll give you $1,000,000."<br /></div><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, "Lucida Grande", sans-serif; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, "Lucida Grande", sans-serif; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">No one dared to move. </div><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, "Lucida Grande", sans-serif; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, "Lucida Grande", sans-serif; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Suddenly, a man jumped into the water, desperately swam, and made it to the shore while being chased by all the crocodiles.<br /></div><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, "Lucida Grande", sans-serif; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, "Lucida Grande", sans-serif; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">The owner announced, "We have a brave winner!!"<br /></div><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, "Lucida Grande", sans-serif; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, "Lucida Grande", sans-serif; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">After the man collected his reward, he and his wife returned to the hotel. Upon arrival, the manager told him that he had been very brave to jump. To which the man replied, "I didn't jump! Someone pushed me!" </div><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, "Lucida Grande", sans-serif; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, "Lucida Grande", sans-serif; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">His wife smiled.</div><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, "Lucida Grande", sans-serif; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, "Lucida Grande", sans-serif; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Moral - Behind every successful man, there's a woman who pushes him!</div>night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4451602020663846531.post-65654108815977507772024-02-14T09:00:00.005-05:002024-02-14T09:00:00.156-05:00~ Happy Valentines Day ~<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://imgk.timesnownews.com/story/Valentines_day_images_feature.png?tr=w-600,h-450,fo-auto" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="600" height="404" src="https://imgk.timesnownews.com/story/Valentines_day_images_feature.png?tr=w-600,h-450,fo-auto" width="539" /></a></div><br /><p></p>night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4451602020663846531.post-80485267673108035442024-02-05T09:00:00.001-05:002024-02-05T09:00:00.362-05:00An Irishman in Canada<p style="text-align: center;"> by Dianne</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXNcnU41XUCMcS3Zi8JkuEaj4rJiOzqe5j1e-tE5eTdYtZwuWpf_N_XKloU0KjYNdZIgefcY9f0n_BFWGYUbMSXxbncYUNTJ4VgI3UDRcl9ma8zq-NuQnB9TW1vnjBPLGngntlTBPF2qPVSRP4lZu6hNEvMZro8jI9jrhfVUN7QPhANfSVV9WISw9C_mCE/s610/kjoao8d9d67b1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="576" data-original-width="610" height="506" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXNcnU41XUCMcS3Zi8JkuEaj4rJiOzqe5j1e-tE5eTdYtZwuWpf_N_XKloU0KjYNdZIgefcY9f0n_BFWGYUbMSXxbncYUNTJ4VgI3UDRcl9ma8zq-NuQnB9TW1vnjBPLGngntlTBPF2qPVSRP4lZu6hNEvMZro8jI9jrhfVUN7QPhANfSVV9WISw9C_mCE/w536-h506/kjoao8d9d67b1.jpg" width="536" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p>night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4451602020663846531.post-8161423101712091752024-01-22T09:00:00.001-05:002024-01-22T09:00:00.130-05:00Take Off<p style="text-align: center;"> by Dianne</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGD7nIyCKNOu-zSbn60iYWIvcGjTLWNus0TJiOuktFTZRLu9vlRtytyq3eEvE2L7bHWdGfIxHcYIfo41XlcInyHVDyZS31JILtqMm1Yi5ainPo50IYuvcl4e_mXTyMK-6vqB3jlqlXgNE4nkcknP5AaWuD028YOnpjnrsojhBBOH_ZBmsB3JAuZLMU41hr/s850/1e5fcfe3dacd43ba137058be9fc5b2b028c465d46269820db4256ceeeea2bcef_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="850" data-original-width="736" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGD7nIyCKNOu-zSbn60iYWIvcGjTLWNus0TJiOuktFTZRLu9vlRtytyq3eEvE2L7bHWdGfIxHcYIfo41XlcInyHVDyZS31JILtqMm1Yi5ainPo50IYuvcl4e_mXTyMK-6vqB3jlqlXgNE4nkcknP5AaWuD028YOnpjnrsojhBBOH_ZBmsB3JAuZLMU41hr/w346-h400/1e5fcfe3dacd43ba137058be9fc5b2b028c465d46269820db4256ceeeea2bcef_1.jpg" width="346" /></a></div><br /><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p>night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4451602020663846531.post-61353699347876706382024-01-08T09:00:00.002-05:002024-01-08T09:00:00.245-05:00Wife and Husband<p style="text-align: center;"> by Dianne</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBNT62qK8vO8q6OWfhlbpNaAmBVUcPC7_EfbS9ZGOS7AKFwfNaI3flJxtWSfs7mzznqIB9QOmENp2b7OXXsvDD1C8SUWRBEAKdLA-FIPoNxYs3nOhvk8xtg07YBQI-Bo5KkL_kS6uicouj2qq87h00eoSihKFTyo-c0ms9sLL06O-qXDU8aMf8p4yx6hgN/s1629/134ce7de897cad1132aba9f19f56fcc1e0778578aaf422e93c3085bc048d32af_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1629" data-original-width="1080" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBNT62qK8vO8q6OWfhlbpNaAmBVUcPC7_EfbS9ZGOS7AKFwfNaI3flJxtWSfs7mzznqIB9QOmENp2b7OXXsvDD1C8SUWRBEAKdLA-FIPoNxYs3nOhvk8xtg07YBQI-Bo5KkL_kS6uicouj2qq87h00eoSihKFTyo-c0ms9sLL06O-qXDU8aMf8p4yx6hgN/w424-h640/134ce7de897cad1132aba9f19f56fcc1e0778578aaf422e93c3085bc048d32af_1.jpg" width="424" /></a></div><br /><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p><br /></p>night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4451602020663846531.post-70120364204181315132024-01-01T00:00:00.001-05:002024-01-01T00:00:00.132-05:00~ Happy New Year ~<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijeiYwKhf-Uj9nnsi3t31WynO6LrvpoGoFDFyOk-GHRe1LWGsDqDg-SKXp9yhWK9gXIcqs7dFjsKHPV0M992yqEkzl-rkC2DbsaeCj5rwHOxjY22te4O8nhNxhQlcyKzjpFoT6hMOPLCrHRccVnrBzN6HW2dSX6OPqnQvsCo34XM-tn-bhBvvCePxXehNY/s509/istockphoto-1480747830-170667a.webp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="339" data-original-width="509" height="336" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijeiYwKhf-Uj9nnsi3t31WynO6LrvpoGoFDFyOk-GHRe1LWGsDqDg-SKXp9yhWK9gXIcqs7dFjsKHPV0M992yqEkzl-rkC2DbsaeCj5rwHOxjY22te4O8nhNxhQlcyKzjpFoT6hMOPLCrHRccVnrBzN6HW2dSX6OPqnQvsCo34XM-tn-bhBvvCePxXehNY/w505-h336/istockphoto-1480747830-170667a.webp" width="505" /></a></div><p> <br /><br /></p>night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4451602020663846531.post-72604671323055719562023-12-25T09:00:00.004-05:002023-12-25T09:00:00.133-05:00~ Merry Christmas ~<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg71q4rHzzd9ffOdID7AVwj3C7-a9UsbrGSEGAwC-fNAjInTwa5S6lzrLpuMm-hfmf0hWIR8nZPLBoMlSELBhTcbRH7XhgeIXl_3yrfhEY5umGZoFglzwty7SP0aTKc2CwxWrbOcH7tEureIi76s2DSDRJGjYwkde33ywOebUd169L7Bcf46SFYGpdNCm_5/s1200/1326674-merry-christmas.webp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1200" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg71q4rHzzd9ffOdID7AVwj3C7-a9UsbrGSEGAwC-fNAjInTwa5S6lzrLpuMm-hfmf0hWIR8nZPLBoMlSELBhTcbRH7XhgeIXl_3yrfhEY5umGZoFglzwty7SP0aTKc2CwxWrbOcH7tEureIi76s2DSDRJGjYwkde33ywOebUd169L7Bcf46SFYGpdNCm_5/w517-h310/1326674-merry-christmas.webp" width="517" /></a></div><p> <br /><br /></p>night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4451602020663846531.post-41839570946742188712023-12-15T09:00:00.002-05:002023-12-15T09:00:00.169-05:00The Gardener, the Carpenter, the Baker<p style="text-align: center;"> by Dianne</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi35EpCF9GBAk_J6mv43VaHX0-YCFeZF8AllbEb90jy8WR6gyvnm3FavjJ1Z__la52H-fwoKDw9IDeXdg6LWSmm0k4Mf93_83yOti_ddoE1qeJowDb7kLL75uxice7hRITUPYOknBC75gFqDUEGKX4XHEPLNGok-MFky_vulEiOXH6g4DLELz4KKbgUWF29/s896/b0355c1176c23205298791de3e9a76914cca7e21cc86e5b46aff10bb59bf938b_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="896" data-original-width="720" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi35EpCF9GBAk_J6mv43VaHX0-YCFeZF8AllbEb90jy8WR6gyvnm3FavjJ1Z__la52H-fwoKDw9IDeXdg6LWSmm0k4Mf93_83yOti_ddoE1qeJowDb7kLL75uxice7hRITUPYOknBC75gFqDUEGKX4XHEPLNGok-MFky_vulEiOXH6g4DLELz4KKbgUWF29/w514-h640/b0355c1176c23205298791de3e9a76914cca7e21cc86e5b46aff10bb59bf938b_1.jpg" width="514" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p>night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4451602020663846531.post-36144167231421807482023-12-01T09:00:00.001-05:002023-12-01T09:00:00.250-05:00ABC's of Marriage<p style="text-align: center;"> by Dianne</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt9rsGo8CFN0bBT0idbbkvflEWnainm5igzCkdgJug-Qpjw-TkXiZhWsdBn-EyYumZNCPEiH2yXZbXB1yFiFtSv7TkteGntwHQ7UHJgnFrk0qJ0KmWb8-Q76abPuvH_D1odQozoy2kaDqrG07yZxeQI-76v2lgsmbam365S2S7oeAcKaBAcQ-QmfkdeU9P/s480/83593883.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="478" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt9rsGo8CFN0bBT0idbbkvflEWnainm5igzCkdgJug-Qpjw-TkXiZhWsdBn-EyYumZNCPEiH2yXZbXB1yFiFtSv7TkteGntwHQ7UHJgnFrk0qJ0KmWb8-Q76abPuvH_D1odQozoy2kaDqrG07yZxeQI-76v2lgsmbam365S2S7oeAcKaBAcQ-QmfkdeU9P/w399-h400/83593883.jpg" width="399" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p>night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4451602020663846531.post-84795137200931703012023-11-23T09:00:00.010-05:002023-11-23T09:00:00.135-05:00~ Happy Thanksgiving ~<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizxr2Q72ExJ_P60flrOg4tZ9qE0vCCHflHPpMmGDvVKjqAtpnEcOuKSO_0E197YqE3-L0vXQHuqUrIkahYUbYwl-xumH-TmwzHhVBMT4bffpf8k9znrAKxB65Y4E5TV6iQfXhJnGe3epGfjhtdpVmEAMEL5DC-c2izyMNdWwVZSUohwRf2qDet5ERR1AVc/s2121/thanksgiving-greetings-index-1628732732.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1414" data-original-width="2121" height="339" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizxr2Q72ExJ_P60flrOg4tZ9qE0vCCHflHPpMmGDvVKjqAtpnEcOuKSO_0E197YqE3-L0vXQHuqUrIkahYUbYwl-xumH-TmwzHhVBMT4bffpf8k9znrAKxB65Y4E5TV6iQfXhJnGe3epGfjhtdpVmEAMEL5DC-c2izyMNdWwVZSUohwRf2qDet5ERR1AVc/w510-h339/thanksgiving-greetings-index-1628732732.jpg" width="510" /></a></div><p> <br /><br /></p>night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4451602020663846531.post-56655932068110234412023-11-20T09:00:00.001-05:002023-11-20T09:00:00.147-05:00The Plumber's Tree<p style="text-align: center;"> by Dianne - who could have told me I was slackin'~</p><blockquote style="background-color: white; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" type="cite"><div dir="ltr" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div class="yiv6923178451Section1" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv6923178451MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><span style="color: blue;">I hired a plumber to help me restore an old farmhouse, and after he had just finished a rough first day on the job, a flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric drill </span><span style="color: blue;">quit, </span><span style="color: blue;">and his ancient one-ton truck refused to start.</span></span></p></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="background-color: white; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" type="cite"><div dir="ltr" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div class="yiv6923178451Section1" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv6923178451MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: helvetica;"> </span></p><p class="yiv6923178451MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: helvetica;">While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence.</span></p><p class="yiv6923178451MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: helvetica;"> </span></p><p class="yiv6923178451MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: helvetica;">On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family.</span></p><p class="yiv6923178451MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: helvetica;"> </span></p><p class="yiv6923178451MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: helvetica;">As we walked up the front walk, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands.</span></p><p class="yiv6923178451MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: helvetica;"> </span></p><p class="yiv6923178451MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><span style="color: blue;">When opening the </span><span style="color: blue;">door, </span><span style="color: blue;">he underwent an amazing </span><span style="color: blue;">transformation. </span><span style="color: blue;">His face was wreathed in </span><span style="color: blue;">smiles, </span><span style="color: blue;">and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.</span></span></p></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="background-color: white; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" type="cite"><div dir="ltr" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div class="yiv6923178451Section1" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv6923178451MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: helvetica;"> </span></p><p class="yiv6923178451MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><span style="color: blue;">Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the </span><span style="color: blue;">tree, </span><span style="color: blue;">and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.</span></span></p></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="background-color: white; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" type="cite"><div dir="ltr" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div class="yiv6923178451Section1" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv6923178451MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: helvetica;"> </span></p><p class="yiv6923178451MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><span style="color: blue;">'Oh, that's my trouble tree,' he replied. 'I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing's for sure, those troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and the </span><span style="color: blue;">children. </span><span style="color: blue;">So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home and ask God to take care of them. Then in the morning I pick them up again.'</span></span></p></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="background-color: white; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" type="cite"><div dir="ltr" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div class="yiv6923178451Section1" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv6923178451MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: helvetica;"> </span></p><p class="yiv6923178451MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: helvetica;">'Funny thing is,' he smiled,' when I come out in the morning to pick 'em up, there aren't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before.’</span></p><p class="yiv6923178451MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: helvetica;"> </span></p><p class="yiv6923178451MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><b><i><span style="color: blue; font-family: helvetica;">Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. We all need a Tree!</span></i></b></p></div></div></blockquote>night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4451602020663846531.post-9112288601574582492023-10-22T09:00:00.009-04:002023-10-22T09:00:00.145-04:00An Irish Hooker<p style="text-align: center;"> by Dianne</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial; text-align: left;">An Irish couple are having hard financial times, so they decide that she'll try being a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so the husband says, “Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him you charge a hundred dollars. Any questions and I'll be parked around the corner."</span></p><div id="yiv1233793418yui_3_16_0_1_1496513520462_2501" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">She stands outside the bar for about five minutes showing her leg, when a guy pulls up and asks, "How much?"</span></div><div id="yiv1233793418yui_3_16_0_1_1496513520462_2501" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span></div><div id="yiv1233793418yui_3_16_0_1_1496513520462_2501" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">She says, “A hundred dollars. He replies," All I got is thirty.</span></div><div id="yiv1233793418yui_3_16_0_1_1496513520462_2501" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span></div><div id="yiv1233793418yui_3_16_0_1_1496513520462_2501" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">"She says, "Hold on," and runs back to the husband and asks, "What now. What can he get for thirty?"</span></div><div id="yiv1233793418yui_3_16_0_1_1496513520462_2501" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span></div><div id="yiv1233793418yui_3_16_0_1_1496513520462_2501" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">“A hand job," the husband replied.</span></div><div id="yiv1233793418yui_3_16_0_1_1496513520462_2501" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span></div><div id="yiv1233793418yui_3_16_0_1_1496513520462_2501" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollars is a hand job.</span></div><div id="yiv1233793418yui_3_16_0_1_1496513520462_2501" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span></div><div id="yiv1233793418yui_3_16_0_1_1496513520462_2501" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">He agrees and she gets in the car. He unzips his trousers, and out pops this HUGE willy. She stares at it for a few seconds, then says. "I'll be right back.................................."</span></div><div id="yiv1233793418yui_3_16_0_1_1496513520462_2501" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span></div><div id="yiv1233793418yui_3_16_0_1_1496513520462_2501" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">She runs back to the husband.</span></div><div id="yiv1233793418yui_3_16_0_1_1496513520462_2501" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span></div><div id="yiv1233793418yui_3_16_0_1_1496513520462_2501" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">"What's wrong?" he asks.</span></div><div id="yiv1233793418yui_3_16_0_1_1496513520462_2501" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span></div><div id="yiv1233793418yui_3_16_0_1_1496513520462_2501" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">"Any chance you could lend this guy seventy dollars?</span></div>night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4451602020663846531.post-47493338873161694452023-10-13T09:00:00.003-04:002023-10-13T09:00:00.148-04:00It's Friday<p></p><div style="text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrr941TvO_5etMqDyRF28VRGrFDrVeIM-gmAaFo1oJLaxXC79wvKz767BYYoxiycxf79wYIVwjur4Sjaqk2uHzZRCv1bkk0Ud6Le53FsVfl97uBjZHapUGVcvsQ2MEbiKgJ25r2nMZpOurORPnWwG_kmFgcVC13jDFlGunnErjrrXaLbLnPf-vSq11mg/s612/friday.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="612" data-original-width="612" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrr941TvO_5etMqDyRF28VRGrFDrVeIM-gmAaFo1oJLaxXC79wvKz767BYYoxiycxf79wYIVwjur4Sjaqk2uHzZRCv1bkk0Ud6Le53FsVfl97uBjZHapUGVcvsQ2MEbiKgJ25r2nMZpOurORPnWwG_kmFgcVC13jDFlGunnErjrrXaLbLnPf-vSq11mg/w400-h400/friday.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><p></p>night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4451602020663846531.post-66917522844752252862023-10-02T09:00:00.001-04:002023-10-02T09:00:00.143-04:00The Pharmacist<p style="text-align: center;"> by Dianne</p><blockquote style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, "Lucida Grande", sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" type="cite"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div class="yiv1691696705Section1" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv1691696705MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”</span></span></p><p class="yiv1691696705MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv1691696705MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”</span></span></p><p class="yiv1691696705MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv1691696705MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”</span></span></p><p class="yiv1691696705MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv1691696705MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">The pharmacist’s eyes got big, and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband. That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”</span></span></p><p class="yiv1691696705MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv1691696705MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.</span></span></p><p class="yiv1691696705MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv1691696705MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied,</span></span></p><p class="yiv1691696705MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv1691696705MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">“Well now, that’s different. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”</span></span></p></div></div></blockquote>night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4451602020663846531.post-58775379510543697882023-09-19T09:00:00.000-04:002023-09-19T09:00:00.146-04:00Mushrooms<p style="text-align: center;"> by Dianne</p><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: medium;">She wanted to serve her guests mushroom-smothered steak, but she had no mushrooms and no time to buy them.<br /> <br />Her husband suggested, "Why don't you go pick some of the mushrooms that are growing wild down by the stream?<br /> <br />"No --- some wild mushrooms are poisonous."<br /> <br />"Well, I see squirrels eating them and they're OK."<br /> <br />So she picked a bunch and washed, sliced and sautéed them for her dinner. Then she went out on the back porch and gave Spot, their dog, a double handful. Spot ate every bit.<br /> <br />All morning long, she watched the dog. The wild mushrooms hadn't affected him after a few hours, so she decided to use them.<br /> <br />The meal was a great success.<br /> <br />After everyone had finished, her daughter came in and whispered in her ear, "Mum, Spot is dead."<br /> <br />Trying to keep her head about her, she left the room as quickly as possible, called the doctor and told him what had happened.<br /> <br />The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I'll call for an ambulance and I'll be there as quickly as I can. We'll give everyone enemas and we'll pump out their stomachs and everything will be fine. Just keep them calm."<br /> <br />Before long they started to hear the sirens as the ambulance tore down the road. The Paramedics and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump. One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach.<br /> <br />Well after midnight, after the last one was done the doctor came out and said, "Everything will be okay now," and with that he left.<br /> <br />The hosts and the guests were all weak and knackered and were sitting around in the living room when the daughter came in and said to her mum..... "I can't believe that guy!"<br /> <br />"What guy?"<br /> <br />"You know --- the bastard who ran over Spot ---- he didn't even slow down."</span></div>night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4451602020663846531.post-44457765405833640292023-09-06T09:00:00.001-04:002023-09-06T09:00:00.145-04:00The Dog<p style="text-align: center;"> by Dianne</p><blockquote style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, "Lucida Grande", sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" type="cite"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div class="yiv1937177116Section1" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv1937177116MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard; I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.</span></span></p><p class="yiv1937177116MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv1937177116MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.</span></span></p><p class="yiv1937177116MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv1937177116MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.</span></span></p><p class="yiv1937177116MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv1937177116MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks.</span></span></p><p class="yiv1937177116MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv1937177116MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: ‘I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.’</span></span></p><p class="yiv1937177116MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv1937177116MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: ‘He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3. He’s trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?’</span></span></p></div></div></blockquote>night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4451602020663846531.post-48825203465857085102023-08-25T09:00:00.001-04:002023-08-25T09:00:00.154-04:00Grandma Still Drives<p style="text-align: center;"> by Just_Lin</p><div style="text-align: left;"><h3 style="text-align: left;">Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:</h3> <br />Dear Grand-Daughter,<br /> <br />The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker .. <br /> <br />I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. <br /> <br />So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. <br /> <br />Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed. <br /> <br />I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed. <br /> <br />It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed. <br /> <br />I found that lot of people really love Jesus! <br /> <br />While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of God!' <br /> <br />'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!' <br /> <br />What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! <br /> <br />Everyone started honking! <br /> <br />I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people. <br /> <br />I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! <br /> <br />There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach. <br /> <br />I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. <br /> <br />I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. <br /> <br />He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. <br /> <br />Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back. <br /> <br />My grandson burst out laughing. <br /> <br />Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!! <br /> <br />A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. <br /> <br />I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. <br /> <br />So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through the intersection. <br /> <br />I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared. <br /> <br />So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!! <br /> <br />Will write again soon, <br /> <br />Love, Grandma</div>night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4451602020663846531.post-19956492987052486252023-08-11T09:00:00.001-04:002023-08-11T09:00:00.160-04:00The Nun<p style="text-align: center;"> by Dianne</p><blockquote style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, "Lucida Grande", sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" type="cite"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div class="yiv7618409123Section1" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">A nun was sitting at the airport, waiting for her flight to Chicago .</span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">She looked over in the corner and saw one of those weight machines that tells your fortune and thought to herself, “I’ll give it a try and see what it tells me.”</span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">She went over to the machine, stepped up on the scale and put her nickel in. Out came a card that read, “You are a nun. You weigh 128 lbs., and you are going to Chicago .”</span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">The nun sat back down and told herself that the machine probably gives the same card to everyone.</span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">The more she thought about it, the more curious she got so she decided to try it again.</span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">She went back to the machine and again put her nickel in. Out came a card that read: “You are a nun. You weigh 128 lbs. You are going to Chicago and you are going to play a fiddle.”</span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">The nun says to herself, “I know that is wrong. I have never played a musical instrument even once in my life.” She sat back down.</span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">From out of nowhere a cowboy came over and sat down, putting his fiddle case on the seat between them. Without thinking, she opened the cowboy’s case, took out the fiddle, and started playing beautiful music.</span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">Surprised at what she had done, she looked over at the machine, thinking “This is incredible. I’ve got to try this again.”</span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">Back to the machine she went, put in another nickel, and another card came out. It read, “You are a nun. You weigh 128 lbs. You are going to Chicago and you are going to break wind.”</span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">Now she knows the machine is wrong as she thought to herself “I’ve never broken wind in public a single time in my life.”</span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">But getting down off the machine she slipped, and as she was straining to keep herself from falling to the floor, she broke wind.</span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">Absolutely stunned, she sat back down and looked at the machine. She said to herself, “This is truly remarkable. I’ve got to try this again.”</span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv7618409123MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">She went back to the machine, put in another nickel, and another card came out. It read, “You are a nun. You weigh 128 lbs. You have fiddled and farted around and missed your flight to Chicago.”</span></span></p></div></div></blockquote>night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4451602020663846531.post-3573760604485543922023-07-28T09:00:00.001-04:002023-07-28T09:00:00.150-04:00New CEO<p style="text-align: center;"> by Dianne</p><blockquote style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, "Lucida Grande", sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" type="cite"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div class="yiv7176277565Section1" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv7176277565MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><b><i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">If you’ve ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts and thinking things through, you will enjoy this . . .</span></span></i></b></p><p class="yiv7176277565MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><b><i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></i></b></p><p class="yiv7176277565MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv7176277565MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.</span></span></p><p class="yiv7176277565MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv7176277565MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall and idly picking his teeth. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy,</span></span></p><p class="yiv7176277565MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv7176277565MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">“How much money do you make a week?”</span></span></p><p class="yiv7176277565MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv7176277565MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, “I make $400 a week. Why?”</span></span></p><p class="yiv7176277565MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv7176277565MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">The CEO said,”Wait right here.”</span></span></p><p class="yiv7176277565MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv7176277565MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, “Here’s four weeks’ pay. Now GET OUT and don’t come back.”</span></span></p><p class="yiv7176277565MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv7176277565MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked,</span></span></p><p class="yiv7176277565MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv7176277565MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">“Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?”</span></span></p><p class="yiv7176277565MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p><p class="yiv7176277565MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">From across the room a voice said,</span></span></p><p class="yiv7176277565MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: New; font-size: 15pt;">“Sure – he was the pizza delivery guy from Domino’s and was just waiting to collect the money!”</span></span></p></div></div></blockquote>night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4451602020663846531.post-55968774184150175612023-07-14T09:00:00.003-04:002023-07-14T09:00:00.139-04:00Catholic Churches in Las Vegas<p style="text-align: center;"> by Dianne</p><blockquote style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" type="cite"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div class="yiv1730394372WordSection1" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Do Las Vegas churches accept gambling chips?<br /> <br />This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas, but there are more Catholic churches than casinos.<br /> <br />Not surprisingly, some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the offering basket is passed.<br /> <br />Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings.<br /> <br />The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.<br /> <br />This really isn’t all that unusual because in ‘Vegas, casino chips are pretty much universally accepted as cash.<br /> <br />What is interesting though is that there is an endless amount of chip sorting going on in the monastery, and of course it is all done by….<br /> <br />…. The Chip Monks.<br /> <br />OK, OK… but…..</div></div></blockquote><p><br /></p><p>You didn't see that coming, did you??!! </p><p><br /></p>night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4451602020663846531.post-77558642814171595882023-07-04T09:00:00.013-04:002023-07-04T09:00:00.139-04:00~ Happy Independence Day ~<p></p><div style="text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRgkeu6cwjKtLm62nrL7B0k7w8_jQxx6yuVrIZWe-FEkrT14yS8oCLGze3kuROQ4_I1MapOHHol-W9NkduKQgYZVhwKdynHp3LDPVQM6S-kp-J-m0SXc2WCavO1PYOsDPD8q3QjvMPbGTFtDGHupv5j4npNQATwczw99zu8TSJl3-c7fEZN9Zq73EIFg/s1515/fouth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1065" data-original-width="1515" height="350" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRgkeu6cwjKtLm62nrL7B0k7w8_jQxx6yuVrIZWe-FEkrT14yS8oCLGze3kuROQ4_I1MapOHHol-W9NkduKQgYZVhwKdynHp3LDPVQM6S-kp-J-m0SXc2WCavO1PYOsDPD8q3QjvMPbGTFtDGHupv5j4npNQATwczw99zu8TSJl3-c7fEZN9Zq73EIFg/w498-h350/fouth.jpg" width="498" /></a></div><br /><p></p>night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4451602020663846531.post-75548814085820889232023-06-25T09:00:00.002-04:002023-06-25T09:00:00.139-04:00Going to Home Depot<p style="text-align: center;"> by Dianne</p><blockquote style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, "Lucida Grande", sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" type="cite"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div class="yiv7489927089Section1" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="margin: 5pt 0px; padding: 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493859006620_2957" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493859006620_2956" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493859006620_2955" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493859006620_2982" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493859006620_2981" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493859006620_2980" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493855279236_6379" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493855279236_6378" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493855279236_6377" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493855279236_6409" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493855279236_6415" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34468" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34489" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34488" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="margin: 5pt 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34486" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34485" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34506" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089AOLMsgPart_2_0300d09c-447f-425e-843e-39410aff1938" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34505" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089aolmail_divtagdefaultwrapper" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34504" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34503" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089aolmail_AOLMsgPart_2_daf077ac-8b21-48ff-9cf2-9f2ea7018adc" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34502" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34501" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34500" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34499" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089aolmail_aolmail_m_2463898488788636671divtagdefaultwrapper" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34498" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34497" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34496" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34495" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34494" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089aolmail_aolmail_m_2463898488788636671AOLMsgPart_2_734f09d6-912a-46aa-9c38-4ba7ff711b33" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34493" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34492" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34491" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34490" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv7489927089MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><b><i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">You are in the middle of some home projects: putting in a new fence, painting the porch, planting some flowers and fixing a broken door lock. You are hot and sweaty, covered with dirt, lawn clippings and paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit -- shorts with a hole in the crotch, an old T-shirt with a stain from who-knows-what, and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of these tasks you realize that you need to run to Home Depot for supplies. Depending on your age you might do the following:</span></span></i></b><i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;"></span></span></i></p></div></div></div><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34509" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34508" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34507" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv7489927089MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: HelveticaNeue; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></span></p></div></div></div><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34514" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34513" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34512" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv7489927089MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><b><u><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">In your 20's:</span></span></u></b><b id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34511"><span id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34510"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because, you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout line. And yes, you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.</span></span></span></b><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></span></p></div></div></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv7489927089MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p></div></div></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv7489927089MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><b><u><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">In your 30's:</span></span></u></b><b><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change your shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror Still got it! Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister of someone you went to school with.</span></span></b><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></span></p></div></div></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv7489927089MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p></div></div></div><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34519" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34518" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34517" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv7489927089MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><b><u><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">In your 40's: </span></span></u></b><b id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34516"><span id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34515"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brut is almost empty, so don't waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The hot young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird about thinking she's spicy.</span></span></span></b><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></span></p></div></div></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv7489927089MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p></div></div></div><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34524" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34523" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34522" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv7489927089MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><b><u><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">In your 50's:</span></span></u></b><b id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34521"><span id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34520"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> Stop what you are doing. Put on a hat. Wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog crap in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember -- the hat you have on is from Bubba's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms '.</span></span></span></b><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></span></p></div></div></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv7489927089MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p></div></div></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv7489927089MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><b><u><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">In your 60's:</span></span></u></b><b><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat any more. Hose the dog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have your glasses on, so you're not sure.</span></span></b><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></span></p></div></div></div><span id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493859006620_5228"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34527" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34526" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34525" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv7489927089MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"><br /><u>In your 70's:</u> Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until you call the drug store to have your prescriptions ready for pick too and check your grocery list for a quick stop there. Got to save trips! Don't even notice the dog crap on your shoes. The young thing at the register stares at you and you realize your balls are hanging out the hole in your crotch . . . who cares?</span></span></b><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></span></p></div></div></div><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34530" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34529" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34528" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv7489927089MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p></div></div></div><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34535" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34534" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34533" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv7489927089MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><b><u><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">In your 80's:</span></span></u></b><b id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34532"><span id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493778684580_34531"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you need to go to Home Depot. You go to Wal-Mart instead. You went to school with the old lady greeter. You wander around trying to remember what you are looking for. Then you fart out loud and turn around thinking someone called your name</span></span></span></b><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></span></p></div></div></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv7489927089MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p></div></div></div><span id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493859006620_5230"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493859006620_5235" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493859006620_5234" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493859006620_5233" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv7489927089MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><b><u><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">In your 90's and beyond:</span></span></u></b><b id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493859006620_5237"><span id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493859006620_5236"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this? Did I send it? Did you? Who farted?</span></span></span></b><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"></span></span></p></div></div></div><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493859006620_5240" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493859006620_5239" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="yiv7489927089yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493859006620_5238" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv7489927089MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;"> </span></span></p></div></div></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><p class="yiv7489927089MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; padding: 0px;"><b><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">I can relate to some of these things.</span></span></b></p></div></div></div></span></span></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></blockquote></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></blockquote></div></div></div></div></blockquote>night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4451602020663846531.post-71242632887718164642023-06-18T09:00:00.003-04:002023-06-18T09:00:00.131-04:00~ Happy Father's Day ~<p></p><div style="text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAU0k8bbBEK-7y0jfhf3XbGfGZnoPZJMuQm6vI85TaSu5ZnnOaYjBsaEq0HdIgNUJoTZoEFcSxSh0T39bAiM4xrJpFZxHpUUC82dNCa0jAMqUx0TS8JzBKSy7CQouZ4hJqWE7sa8PgO9oPoeKKKGTPQNQD4dx4naapr-tTMk_2Pm83doj7vlUjeTC_vQ/s600/Father's%20day.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="599" data-original-width="600" height="399" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAU0k8bbBEK-7y0jfhf3XbGfGZnoPZJMuQm6vI85TaSu5ZnnOaYjBsaEq0HdIgNUJoTZoEFcSxSh0T39bAiM4xrJpFZxHpUUC82dNCa0jAMqUx0TS8JzBKSy7CQouZ4hJqWE7sa8PgO9oPoeKKKGTPQNQD4dx4naapr-tTMk_2Pm83doj7vlUjeTC_vQ/w400-h399/Father's%20day.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><p></p>night.owls.sbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00548661393682514564noreply@blogger.com4