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Friday, October 23, 2009

Marcia

Mary told me that Marcia loved Children, and asked me to find a picture. I had this picture in my picture file and immediately thought of Marcia, as I can see her giving this young gal a helping hand and a watchful eye as the flowers are being trimmed. So sweet and gentle just as Mary described her. The Beauty of the flowers are as apparent as the Beauty of Marcia~


by Mary/MI

My ex-Sister-in-law Marcia passes away Monday morning. She was a young lady when I married her Brother Mike. She was born as some would say “a slow minded child”. She was taught early in life to take care of herself, make change, play cards etc. She was teased mercifully by her brothers and sent her crying many times. I could never understand this. Marcia could never work at a regular job, but did a lot of babysitting. I dare say she raised most of the 2 generations of children in that small village.

Marcia’s mother passed away about 12 years ago. Many thought she would not survive long without her. Thanks to some of her many friends she has been living in a small house. They would stop in & check up on her. When she was able, I would bring her home to Holiday dinners or take her to fish dinners. She especially loved when I would bring her to my Karaoke gigs in her town. She would tire early and I would take her home. I am going to miss her this Christmas. She loved being here with the family.

When I last saw her on Saturday the nurse on duty told me that most of her village had been in to see her.She asked me if I was one of the "Hubbardston people". I couldn't help but smile. She had a lot of friends.

I am troubled that she has been cremated against her wishes. I was there when she was asked if she wanted a funeral or cremation. She said”funeral”. She was raised Catholic. My ex and his bro. weren’t even going to give her a memorial service! Their Mother would be rolling over in her grave! My Son Tony & I are making sure she has one. I am sure my ex won’t be there. He is a recluse. He never attended any of our son’s school activities including graduations. He didn’t attend our Son’s wedding, or reception which was all of 3 miles from his home!

I hope Marcia haunts him!!

Thanks for indulging me. I had to get that off my chest!
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82 comments:

  1. Lynn DOctober 23, 2009 at 8:57 AM

    1

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  2. Lynn DOctober 23, 2009 at 9:02 AM

    Morning Glories!

    Mary what a shame that in death her brothers could not even find some compassion and respect for Marcia.

    It does sound like she had a full life with the people in her village and you to help make her a part of the community and family.

    I really hope there will be a memorial. I also think Marcia has moved on, where she will find peace and much happiness.

    You were a good Sister in law and your love and respect shows through in your blog.

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  3. ZonaOctober 23, 2009 at 9:25 AM

    Good Morning!

    MARY: What an impact Marcia had on so many. Her memory will live on through all of the lives she touched. It is evident in your writing how much she meant to you and how much you meant to her as well. I am sorry your ex isn't willing to honor his sister's last wishes..but I think it's wonderful that you and your son are going to make sure she has a Memorial service.

    I had to laugh when you said you hoped Marcia haunted her brother..that's just what my sister and I said about mom and our brother!

    Marcia is walking hand in hand with her mom now..how beautiful that reunion must have been.

    Wonderful blog today MARY..thank you!

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  4. ZonaOctober 23, 2009 at 9:27 AM

    LYNND: Congrats on FIRST! I hope you are feeling better today!

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  5. ZonaOctober 23, 2009 at 9:31 AM

    TINA: Sorry I missed your blog yesterday..nasty headache that I couldn't shake all day long. I really liked your video..I watched it quite a few times this morning..it is so peaceful and beautiful. I think there must be a place just like 'Cinnamon's Hat' in heaven..don't you?

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  6. BebbilaneOctober 23, 2009 at 9:55 AM

    Mary: What a beautiful and sad story. I hope that Marcia rests in peace. You can tell by your telling of her story that she had a challenging life but she was able to find some way in it. Thank goodness for the good people in her community! She reminds me of my cousin. He has struggles and hardships untold, but he perseveres. I see him at funerals and he tells me about his life. Marcia was lucky, she was able to find a small niche and have some security. My cousin has not been so lucky in that, he has to struggle and live in group homes and get uprooted.

    Thanks for sharing and my wish is that Marcia will rest in peace. You are such a good person for doing what you could for her too.

    We never had a Memorial for an aunt of mine who recently passed away. She was cremated as well (but not against her wishe). It still makes me sad that there was nothing for her. I will always remember her in my heart. She was the first "go-go" dancer I ever saw and that has stuck with me and made me smile through my sadness. Rest In Peace - Lavina!

    Mary: Thanks again for sharing your story.

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  7. night.owls.sbOctober 23, 2009 at 9:58 AM

    Happy 1 Lynn.. and good morning..

    Morning Zona!

    Sacbarb..

    Area 51
    I actually can watch vids, but then If I watch vids everyone else will think they can watch vids. I have to set a example, cause if I don't I will surely have a crackhouse for a business.. :O)

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  8. BebbilaneOctober 23, 2009 at 10:00 AM

    J/L from Area 51 - It's going good! I am stil counting steps and doing good on my battle to be healthier. 72 lbs so far and counting. I did have a couple of days that I was not as motivated.

    Carol: You inspired me. I was home the other day and didn't want to go to the gym. I got on the blog and read where you were "just passing through" and went to the gym. I got up and went. Thank you so much for that! :)

    As it gets colder, I have different demons to fight in this battle. Mostly, COMFORT FOOD! I love soups and casseroles and chilis and all things that come with this season in regards to food. I made Potato soup last night.

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  9. night.owls.sbOctober 23, 2009 at 10:02 AM

    Mary..

    I agree with Bebbi.. beautiful but sad. Marcia sounds like a wonderful person, so sweet. I think its great that you kept her in your life, she was probably a treasure. I hope she is at peace, bless her soul..

    Thank for sharing!

    OK.. mushy stuff out of the way..

    LMAO.. "hope Marcia haunts him"

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  10. night.owls.sbOctober 23, 2009 at 10:05 AM

    Bebbi..

    Right back attcha.. your steps pushed me into my joining the gym. Now I go at least 4 times a week. I am can do 2miles in 45min.. That is such a accomplishment, cause when I started I was doing 1mile in 45min.


    :O)

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  11. night.owls.sbOctober 23, 2009 at 10:08 AM

    Last nite.. my tummy was in such a uproar, I tried to think back at what I ate, but nothing seemed to stand out. I actually could not go to the gym last nite.. I started writing the Halloween blog and it totally took my mind off my tummy pains.. Today I feel much better, but I am certainly going to watch what I eat today.. instead of 5 chocolate bars, I will only have 4 ;O)

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  12. night.owls.sbOctober 23, 2009 at 10:09 AM

    Hope everyone has a good day...

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  13. whabbearOctober 23, 2009 at 10:21 AM

    Good morning, Lynn D!

    Mary, thank you for getting that off your chest! It gives all of us perspective to hear the stories of others, and how people treat them. I agree with Bebbi's reactions.

    And if I believed in souls, I'd say you have one of the best! :)

    Zona: Sorry to hear about your headache yesterday.

    Good norming, Carol!

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  14. whabbearOctober 23, 2009 at 10:23 AM

    Whoops! Carol, I didn't mean to infer that you are attracted to George Wendt!

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  15. BebbilaneOctober 23, 2009 at 10:26 AM

    Carol: I am not "bragging" or anything but I did 5 miles in one hour and 5 minutes on the elliptical yesterday...*IJS!* ;)

    That elliptical machines ROCKS!

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  16. BebbilaneOctober 23, 2009 at 10:26 AM

    ..okay, so maybe I was bragging just a little..hee hee

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  17. BebbilaneOctober 23, 2009 at 10:28 AM

    I have to tell you, I am so excited about Chicago! I told my son about it and Mr.Bebbi. I am just excited about it. I can't wait to meet everyone!! Please keep me informed about the meeting.

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  18. Shirley(NCC-1701)October 23, 2009 at 10:30 AM

    Carol who are you kidding...you won't eat 4 chocolate bars. We all know you just hoard them in your desk drawer for months!

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  19. BebbilaneOctober 23, 2009 at 10:30 AM

    Carol: You and I are gonna be skinny minnies when we meet everyone. ^5!! ;)

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  20. BebbilaneOctober 23, 2009 at 10:31 AM

    Shirley's got Carol pegged!

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  21. BebbilaneOctober 23, 2009 at 10:31 AM

    oh, the heck with it. 21

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  22. BebbilaneOctober 23, 2009 at 10:32 AM

    I rarely get those..

    Good to see you Shirleycakes. I hope you are doing good.

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  23. East Bay JOctober 23, 2009 at 10:32 AM

    Good morning,

    Such a lovely blog this morning Mary. So sad about her brother, at least she had so many people who cared about her.

    Thank you for sharing Marcia with us!

    Congrats on 1st Lynn!

    Quick fly by as I must get ready for work. TGIF!

    Shout out to Bear, Carol, Bebbi and Zona!

    Have a great day everyone!

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  24. East Bay JOctober 23, 2009 at 10:34 AM

    Hi Shirley! You snuck in while I was typing!

    See ya all later!

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  25. Shirley(NCC-1701)October 23, 2009 at 10:35 AM

    Great blog Mary! Marcia sounds like a wonderful person to have known!

    Congrats on 1st Lynn D!

    Morning to Lynn, Zona, Bebbi, and Carol and Whabbear!

    I'm glad it's Friday! I had to borrow the local Fire Dept's jaws of life to get that thong off last night! Geez that sucker was wedged up there something fierce!!

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  26. ZonaOctober 23, 2009 at 10:43 AM

    BEBBI: Congrats on the 72 lbs..wow!
    I really want to get an elliptical..but I'm worried about how hard it would be on my knees..what do you think..is it tough on the knees?

    BEAR: Thanks..the day after I have one of those awful headaches I'm just so full of energy and smiles..weird trade off..isn't it?

    G'morning CAROL! I miss swimming laps..I'm beboppin' around the neighborhood with my ipod now..but I like swimming so much more. You'd think with it being 90 degrees the water would still be ok..but nope..it's really cold..so I've gotta hit the pavement instead. Well, not HIT it..though that may happen too.. ;)

    Good Morning SHIRLEY! LOL @ CAROL having chocolate in her drawers.. ;)

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  27. ZonaOctober 23, 2009 at 10:44 AM

    Hi EBJ!

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  28. TinkatiaOctober 23, 2009 at 1:40 PM

    I did it. I have been trouble having my password accepted.

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  29. TinkatiaOctober 23, 2009 at 1:42 PM

    Mary - What a beautiful blog. It brought on the tears. How lucky Marcia was to have you and her friends. Karma will get the brothers, wait and see. When I read that they went against her wishes for burial I was thinking she will haunt them. Then you said it. I bet she is happy in heaven. Maybe she will meet my sister. She was always kind to everyone.

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  30. TinkatiaOctober 23, 2009 at 1:43 PM

    Good Morning Lynn - Congrats on being first.

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  31. TinkatiaOctober 23, 2009 at 1:45 PM

    I rushed off to the dog groomers this morning so I am later in wishing good morning to Lynn, Zona-My-Baby, Bebbi, Carol, Shirley, Bear and East Bay J.

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  32. TinkatiaOctober 23, 2009 at 1:45 PM

    38

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  33. TinkatiaOctober 23, 2009 at 1:47 PM

    Zona - I just read your comment. We think very much alike. Of course we should since we are related.

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  34. TinkatiaOctober 23, 2009 at 1:47 PM

    Lynn - I read on FB that you weren't feeling well. I hope you are better now.

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  35. TinkatiaOctober 23, 2009 at 1:48 PM

    Whabbear - I also read that you thought you were "coming down with something." I hope that "something" didn't get you.

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  36. TinkatiaOctober 23, 2009 at 1:49 PM

    Tina - I couldn't get back on the blog yesterday. I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your video. Thanks for sharing. We are going in March. I am counting the days already.

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  37. TinkatiaOctober 23, 2009 at 1:50 PM

    East Bay J - Have fun at work. You too Carol.

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  38. TinkatiaOctober 23, 2009 at 1:51 PM

    Zona - I am glad your full of pep and energy again. I hate it when you get those headaches. If you were here I would put a cold cloth on your head. That would make you feel better.

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  39. TinkatiaOctober 23, 2009 at 1:53 PM

    I must get my farms harvested or it will be time to go back and get my groomed "fur babies". I have their costumes for Halloween. I am going to enter their picture again.

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  40. Just_LinOctober 23, 2009 at 1:54 PM

    LynnD Congrats on coming in first today!

    Zona So glad you're feeling better today.

    Bebbi Congrats on the 72 lbs! What a great accomplishment! Yesterday, I would have said I've lost 28 lbs so far but I am up 1 1/2 lbs today. I'm blaming it on water retention because of the soup and saltines I ate last night.

    Carol Congrats on your success at the gym. You're doing great!

    Bear It's a beautiful day on the coast.....at least for the moment. We never know when the fog may roll in this time of year.

    Shirley LOL @ Jaws of Life!
    That's quite a visual image!

    EBJ I hope you're having a great Friday.

    Mary You brought a lovely and loving tribute to Marcia. It sounds like she was very blessed to have so many people love her. That's really her legacy. (((Hugs))) to you and your son for making sure there is a memorial, not just for Marcia, but for all the people who cared for her.

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  41. TinkatiaOctober 23, 2009 at 1:54 PM

    Bebbi - I didn't get a chance yesterday to congratulate you on your fantastic weight loss. Good on you.

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  42. TinkatiaOctober 23, 2009 at 1:54 PM

    54

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  43. Just_LinOctober 23, 2009 at 1:56 PM

    Tinka I see you came in while I was typing. I hope you have a great day. I can hardly wait to see your fur babies in their costumes.

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  44. TinkatiaOctober 23, 2009 at 1:59 PM

    HI Just_Lin

    Carol - I should have read the comments before I posted. Sorry you have a tummy ache. Get some ginger ale. That might help.

    Off I go to the farm. Have a great day everyone.

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  45. TinkatiaOctober 23, 2009 at 1:59 PM

    58

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  46. TinkatiaOctober 23, 2009 at 2:00 PM

    It's open Just_Lin

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  47. TinkatiaOctober 23, 2009 at 2:10 PM

    Zona - I must correct my grammar in my 1:51 (EST) comment to you. "You're" is the word I should have used, not "your". I will write out ten times.
    "you're is short for you are."

    I am never going to get to the farm before picking up my little ones. Bye now.

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  48. Shirley(NCC-1701)October 23, 2009 at 2:12 PM

    63

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  49. Shirley(NCC-1701)October 23, 2009 at 2:12 PM

    64

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  50. Just_LinOctober 23, 2009 at 2:28 PM

    Shirley Congrats on 69! Glad you got that thong extracted!

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  51. Shirley(NCC-1701)October 23, 2009 at 2:32 PM

    So am I Just Lin!! Lol!

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  52. BebbilaneOctober 23, 2009 at 3:26 PM

    J/L: That is so good, 28 lbs is a lot..how awesome! Us Owl Nesters who put our minds and bodies to it can sure accomplish anything!

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  53. BebbilaneOctober 23, 2009 at 3:29 PM

    Zona: Actually, no it isn't. That is why I love it. I have a problem of early arthritis in one knee and I do fine. I was so scared to get on it and try it at first and I built up to what I can do now. I first started with 5 minutes on it. It really gives you a much less stressful and more complete. In addition, I get more steps on it too..! Yayay..but I have to wear it on my hip to get it to read accurately.

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  54. BebbilaneOctober 23, 2009 at 3:32 PM

    That thong thing is funny.

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  55. TinkatiaOctober 23, 2009 at 3:36 PM

    I am back with my little ones and they look gorgeous if I may say so myself. I had to check who got #69. Congrats Shirley. Please tell me that avatar isn't you.

    Off for our naps. It's pouring here so it's a great day for a nap. Cheers, Tinka

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  56. ZonaOctober 23, 2009 at 4:13 PM

    TINKA: A cold cloth on my forehead would have been perfect..and you're right we do think alike..I'm going to take a little nap too.. :)

    J/LIN: Thanks..I wish it would cool down here..that would sure go a long way in helping to stop these headaches. It's going to be in the 90's over the weekend..ick..

    BEBBI: I have been debating back and forth between treadmill and elliptical..I really do want to get the latter..thanks.. :)

    Congrats on 69 SHIRLEY!

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  57. Mary/MIOctober 23, 2009 at 4:44 PM

    Good afternoon everyone! I have not read your comments yet. I felt I should apologize for arriving here so late. I have been getting up early everyday this week and it all finally caught up with me. I was awaken again this morning by a phone call,which I will explain later (not bad) then I went back to sleep. Mr Mary closed the door and let me sleep.Dam I didn't get to see the drywall guy! He must be a hunk, since Mr Mary didn't want me to see him lol!!
    I am off to read the comments.....

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  58. bonachichiOctober 23, 2009 at 5:02 PM

    Hello Hooters! I'm back from under my rock. Going to read today's comments now. The blog itself was touching. Sure pulls the heartstrings.

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  59. Mary/MIOctober 23, 2009 at 5:13 PM

    My son Tony did a wonderful last minute memorial for Marcia. The Priest knew her and gave a wonderful tribute to her. We even got sprayed by Holy water! Tina, that kinda threw me lol!!
    My ex was there along with his brother. Marcia would have been elated! Hard to believe he never visited her at home.

    About this EARLY mornings call,,,
    The caller was hard to hear I thought it was my ex BIL. He was thanking me for the donation I gave towards the memorial service. I had asked my Son not to say anything about it so I was caught off guard. We continued to talk about Marcia and our bad hearing loss, when I realized I may be talking to my EX! I asked him how he was. He said great since his retirement! My ex BIL is still working! OYE VEY!! I haven't talked to him that long since out separation 35 years ago!!
    Here is the funny part. My ex called on my cell.
    I always call my Son when I first get up. He is my youngest son that lives with me. His room is upstairs. It is a joke between us. I hit what I thought was his number. I always say "this is yo Mama". Yup, it was my ex's number!! When he said "who is this" I about freaked! I counted on his "bad hearing' and said "oops wrong number" and hung up! I hate when people do that lol!!
    Guys... never, I repeat Never call me in the morning lol!!

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  60. Mary/MIOctober 23, 2009 at 5:22 PM

    Zona,glad you are feeling better. I use the elliptical. If you start in slow it actually helps in stretching the legs muscles and tendons around the knee.

    Kudos to all you gals losing weight!
    I better get busy so I can be "buff" by our Chicago bloggers love fest! :)

    Bebbi I got a giggle out of your Lavin's "go go" dancer comment.

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  61. Just_LinOctober 23, 2009 at 6:19 PM

    Mary LOL @ your morning calls. Also, don't worry. I'll still be very far from my goal weight by get-together time.

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  62. Just_LinOctober 23, 2009 at 6:20 PM

    Tinka Going to sleep while listening to the rain is one of my all time favorite things in the world!

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  63. Just_LinOctober 23, 2009 at 8:48 PM

    I think my pumpkin avatar is a fair representation of my body type. LOL

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  64. iteachOctober 23, 2009 at 10:11 PM

    Mary thank you so much for writing this for Marcia!

    She has touched so many lives that she will live in everyone's heart.

    Way to go all you owls with healthier life choices! :)

    Whabby how is your sickness going?

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  65. bonachichiOctober 23, 2009 at 10:21 PM

    Well, I've read the comments, gotten distracted a zillion times and am now back.

    Mary, there are some people in this world who are special. I mean really special. Marcia I think, was one of those people. Our disappointments over not getting that new car or the extra time off for a tropical vacation seem trivial. The Marcia's of the world are an example for all of us.

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  66. bonachichiOctober 23, 2009 at 10:35 PM

    I've recently returned from a road trip from CA to MO so my dad's family could inter Grandma, who passed in April.

    We left around 2 in the morning and made it to somewhere in CO late that night - about 16-18 hours. The motel had an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast, and Mr. B took it very seriously.

    He barfed all over himself in the car, which I can tell you, does not smell the same coming up as going down. Dad and I were hanging our heads out the windows (in Colorado) gasping for air whilst Barfman groaned for sympathy which he did not get.

    Grandma would have been very upset because Uncle Jerry stole the starring role from her with his stroke. He isn't speaking, but he's responsive, mostly to his grandson Josh. Unfortunately, Uncle Jerry's life will change drastically. I admire that side of my family because they can handle anything and make the most delicious lemonade out of all the lemons that come their way.

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  67. Shirley(NCC-1701)October 23, 2009 at 11:23 PM

    BEWARE...RANT AHEAD

    It is now 12:11am Saturday morning. On Sunday my younger sister has organized b-day party for mum at the church hall. She asks if I could make some sandwiches. She said she would get the stuff. I say ok...turns out I'm making ALL the sandwiches. Tonight she calls me a little before 7 and asks if she can drop the stuff off. I say yes...but because I live on the third floor she wants me to come down and get it. How long I ask...10-15 minutes? About that, she says but if I'm a little later will you be pissed? Probably but I'll get over it.

    So I wait a a few minutes and go down stairs. I stand down there for 1/2 hour...no sister. My knees and back are killing and my bloodpressure has risen so I go back to my apartment to call her. Her phone is turned off. (That is such a huge pet peeve of mine...if you are going to have a cell phone TURN THE DAMN THING ON!!!!)

    So, how long do I sit here waiting? I want to go to bed, and I don't want her buzzing the door after I have put my mask on and gotten into bed. GRRRRRRRRRR!! She pisses me off!!!

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  68. Just_LinOctober 23, 2009 at 11:28 PM

    Bonach Being able to make lemonade out of lemons is a great life skill to have. As for Barfman....eeewwww!

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  69. Just_LinOctober 23, 2009 at 11:31 PM

    Shirley Your sister better have a good excuse. Otherwise, I'd say she is quite inconsiderate.

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  70. Shirley(NCC-1701)October 23, 2009 at 11:41 PM

    Just Lin, unless her reason is emergency surgery, it won't be good enough. I'm tired and I'm going to bed! She better not come buzzing the door tomorrow before 10am either. Good night!

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  71. Mary/MIOctober 23, 2009 at 11:46 PM

    Shirley, I think I would go to bed and leave a note on the door "waited 1/2 hr downstairs. Please come back tomorrow and call when you arrive please. I am sleeping" .

    Carol, I forgot to thank you for the beautiful picture you put up for me. It was perfect! xoxoxo

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  72. night.owls.sbOctober 23, 2009 at 11:56 PM

    93?

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  73. night.owls.sbOctober 23, 2009 at 11:57 PM

    94?

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  74. night.owls.sbOctober 23, 2009 at 11:57 PM

    95?

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  75. night.owls.sbOctober 23, 2009 at 11:57 PM

    96?

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  76. night.owls.sbOctober 23, 2009 at 11:57 PM

    97... way to easy!

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  77. night.owls.sbOctober 23, 2009 at 11:57 PM

    98.. oh my a piece of cake!

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  78. night.owls.sbOctober 23, 2009 at 11:58 PM

    99! almost HA!

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  79. night.owls.sbOctober 23, 2009 at 11:58 PM

    100.. PERFECT!

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  80. night.owls.sbOctober 24, 2009 at 12:12 AM

    I did not read all the comments, I will catch up tomorrow..

    Off to bed..

    Nite everyone!

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  81. Just_LinOctober 24, 2009 at 12:31 AM

    Nice marching Carol!

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  82. bonachichiOctober 24, 2009 at 2:46 AM

    Everyone's getting all Halloweenie with their avatars. Love it!

    Shirley, I'd tell my sister to make her own damn sandwiches. I'm pretty laid back, but late people piss me off big time. Inconsiderate as hell.

    I do sometimes turn my phone off, but I always have a laptop/netbook/notebook PC with me that has mobile capabilities. Like a big Blackberry. I don't like cell phones because people turn into assholes with them. There was a recent train wreck here with a couple hundred fatalities. It was caused by the engineer (driver of the train) not paying attention because he was TEXTING!! Lucky for him, he was one of the people who got killed.

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