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Friday, July 2, 2010

Stupid Sayings

by Shirley

A few more stupid sayings I knew I had to share with all of you!!


Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

I’m not cheap, but I am on special this week

I intend to live forever – so far, so good

I love defenseless animals, especially in gravy.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

If you ain’t makin’ waves, you ain’t kickin’ hard enough!

Sex on television can’t hurt you… unless you fall off.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm

Drink ’till she’s cute, but stop before the wedding

Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder…

24 hours in a day … 24 beers in a case …coincidence?

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

43 comments:

  1. Well where the hell is everyone to admire my pretty pretty prettiness?

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  2. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. This one is so true!

    Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines. This one just made me laugh !

    Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion. I won't repeat what I thought and think about televangelists and their ilk! Hate mongering projectionists who are afraid of who they are and cannot bend to accept others and never teach the Golden Rule. Ooops! I guess I did repeat part of what I was thinking.

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  3. Lynn D: Amen! LOL!

    Good morning to you, all ye who will post later! I think I need to go back to bed... way too early for this temporarily transplanted Westerner!

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  4. Well I can see my Stupid Sayings have brought out the crowds this morning!! Lynn how did you ever manage to fight your wat into 1st? Congrats!!

    Morning Whabbear! Enjoy your visit to Canada!

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  5. Lynn D I can't imagine what you would have against the niceandwealthybloodsucking Televangelists!

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  6. Well I have to get ready and go up to mum's. See you all later! Remember there is plenty of room here so no need to crowd each other. Oh, try and behave! I might have a treat for you when I get back!!

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  7. All hail her majesty Queen Pretty....

    and when ur done hailing me give Lynn some attention too....you know for being first on the roll this morning.....

    last night I went thru the drive thru window at Whataburger for a bacon/cheese whataburger for myself and a justaburger....meat...cheese...and mayo only for Belle....
    Well the young man working the window gave me a total out awhere you talk into the clown head....another total when I got to the window....and then based on the second price he short changed me by 10 cents......

    I noticed this immediately because I ...based on the second price he gave me....was expecting a quarter and a penney....and I like quarters ...I keep all quarters in the glove box in a suede pouch and when its full I enjoy cruising the "hood" in my Rolls and tossing the quarters to the children just ahead of the ice cream truck.......

    So when I pointed the discrepencey out to the young gay black man in the window...you know...that he had shorted me a dime....he put his hand on his hip and looked at me like "bitch please".....and when he saw that I wasn't budging he started moving his finger like a metronome at me while he waved it in the air simultaneously rotating his head....pulled out his own wallet and said...

    I AM GOIN" TO GIT CHOO YO DIME MISS THANG!"

    I said..."I appreciate that but actually I was expecting a quarter and a penny"...

    He seemed to get more upset...I DO NOT HAVE A QUARTER THIS EVENIN"!"

    I simply suggested that maybe some of his co-workers might have a quarter...

    Well he got really frustrated then and kept glancing at what had become quite a line of cars behind me in the drive-thru lane.....that hand went back on his hip when he hollered (on the verge of tears)

    LAY!! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE??!!

    well I had become so engrossed in getting my quarter that I had forgotten the name of the place!! So I quickly started singing the little jingle....

    hold the pickle....hold the lettuce....special orders don't upset us....all we ask is that you let us serve it your way....

    He said THATS BURGER KING!! THIS IS WHATABURGER!!

    I said...well I guess I am not going to get my quarter.....and he told me that if I would get out of there that he would give me all the quarters I want.....so I asked when I could pick those up.....the last glimpse I had of that young man showed a kid that looked like he had aged 10 years in 25 minutes....

    you just don't hand someone due 26 cents in change 3 nickels and a penny....

    Which brings me to the reason for that story.....Lynn I notice that you haven't had time to you replace those rubber nipples you "borrowed" for your farm.....but I know you'll get around to it soon and I trust you wouldn't attempt returning the used ones.....

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  13. all the deletes were someone who really made a mess....I do no know who it was.....

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  14. Morning Glories!

    Deedee I will purchase your new nipples while I am out running errands today. The nipple emporium is on the way. Anything else I can get you clittles, penittles? Just let me know!

    Okay I think I have lost it. Really have to fly. Busy again today, tomorrow, it seems like it never ends!

    Anyone need some faradiddles?

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  15. LynnD,good morning your prettiness! You take my breath away!

    Whabbear,get up, get up!! They day is half over! Enjoy your visit :)

    Shirley,you cracked my up this morning! Especially loved the "2nd mouse" one. I had to think on that for a mili-second lol!!

    I know that kid!! He short sheeted me, wait, you said he was gay, oops wrong guy. Well I don't remember waking up violated so maybe....
    I may need a nap! Move over Whabby! H-m-m-m I am seeing a pattern here lol!!

    DeeDee, please point your ars away from the blog ijs!

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  16. DeeDee, that "I know that kid" comment was meant for you! I was slipping around your poop!

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  17. Mary...what in the hell r u talking about?

    Tequila shooters are NOT breakfast drinks!! How many did you have!?

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  18. DeeDee, I quit doing Tequila a long time ago! Makes me too "amorous", if you get my drift.
    on that note..

    bbl,I need to get to my fave meat market. I am out.

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  19. Happy Friday Owls.

    Shirley, More things to ponder...Thanks.

    Lynn, Your dazzling beauty has honored us two days in a row. How lucky are we! I echo your Televangelist comment.

    Bear, So are you really celebrating US Independence day in Canada? Will there be fireworks...of sorts?

    DeeDee, When I read that you went THRU the drive thru WINDOW, I thought "ut oh, she killed someone (again)." I was relieved that none of the employees of Whataburger were harmed in the telling of the story.

    Hello Mary and to all the other Owls. I hope everyone is having a good day. BBL

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  20. Shirley~ I don't know why....but these reminded me of DeeDee~ especially:

    I’m not cheap, but I am on special this week

    I intend to live forever – so far, so good

    lq~

    Lynndie~ You look so pretty this morning~ :D

    Bear~ Go back to bed....it's not morning yet~

    DeeDee~ I thought you said, "All hail her majesty Queen Potty...." :D

    Mary~ Good luck at the meat market~ I hope he's hot! :)~

    The other Mary~ Did I tell you....Di left me a message and in her drugged up ramblings....she was telling me about some candy and said it was "just like the candy Mary brought to Chicago!" (shhhhhhh.....i saved the msg!)

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  21. Good Afternoon!

    SHIRLEY: I can never get enough of these sayings..they always make me smile. I like the 2nd one the best..though, like MARY, it took me a second read to get it!

    LYNND: You aren't just pretty..you're damn HOT!! :D

    BEAR: Did you have fun today? ;)...:D

    DEEDEE: A quarter for your thoughts...wait..on second thought.. ;)

    btw..there's a Bedazzler on ebay..maybe it's the one you're missing?

    MARY: What kind of meat did you bring home? :D

    TINA: Could those ramblings be a blog perhaps? ;)

    SACBARB: I echo your echo.. :D

    JODI: All that echoing reminds me...YODDELADYHO!! ;)

    MO: My sister called me yesterday to tell me they now sell bacon cheese slices..yummm...

    J/LIN: I was just catching up on Area 51..I'm sorry to hear about your cat..it's such a difficult thing to have to do..

    I hope everyone's day has been a good one..I have a virtual race to run..bbl.. ;)

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  22. LynnD!!! Yes..you are..I just knew you were going to get first today. :) WTG!

    Shirley: Love Love Love those! :) They are so funny. Also, I LOL'd at your DQ comment today on FB. I go right by the DQ on the way home..haha.

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  23. Meat bought, dinner finished,and dishes done ahhhh such an exciting life I have!
    Oh I also watched a new DVD that arrived today... Cesar Mellan's puppy training! WOOOPIE LOL!

    I think I will head to a Karaoke Bar and sing my blahs away!

    After I check my Farms.......

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  24. I am home, I am home!!! Traffic was a bitcharoonie today. Geez you would think it was a holiday or something.

    Deedee ummmmm Mary is slipping around your poop???? I know she is tiny but never imagined she would fit in a toilet bowl. She either was having Tequila shooters or is off her meds.

    Di left me a lovely VM today too Tina, and yep I think drugged is the word of the day. I am so happy for her and Louis that she got to shower today!!! It must have been one hell of a soap down because she really was deliriously happy about it. Love ya Di!!

    Ok off to check on my new child in Frontierville. Love this kid she actually works! Had her clearing brush and chopping down trees yesterday. Virtual kids are the best hands down!

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  25. Zona, I bought the only kind of "meat" I can get here lol!

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  26. Good evening feathered friends!

    LYNN...you ARE so damn pretty today!!! Even prettier then yesterday!

    SHIRLEY...LMBFAO!! So fun. Thanks for all the comic relief you provide.

    I was so looking forward to a 3 day weekend, but I get to work a few hours tomorrow. At least it is overtime. YAY! I'll do anything for OT! Does that make me a whore? LOL!!!!

    I am waiting to hear from my cousin. They may be taking Joanne to the ER by 911. She has been sick, sounds like an allergic reaction to her antibiotic and she is weak, dehydrated and has uncontrollable runs. The hospital is the best place for her right now.

    On a positive note, some of her pathology has come back and so far so good! YAY!

    CAROL...sending you {{hugs}} and good thoughts. I hope you can have some fun Carol time this weekend. Treat yourself to some new porn!

    ZONA...bacon cheese? YUMMMMMM! Must try to find some!

    TINA...how is Number 2 son doing with the SIL?

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  27. MARY...is your butcher kinda like DIANNE'S dentist? LOL!!!

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  28. Well, I m stuffed in back seat and on way to mtns. It took awhile but tam and mrD got me in. Traffic sucks and I already feel bent and asking "r we there yet". Did I mention I got to tke a shower? Hope everyone has a good weekend

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  29. DIANNEgoingtothemountainsinDENVER... So good to see you! And even better not to smell you!! Have a GREAT time! And be CAREFUL!

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  30. JUST LIN...sending gentle {{hugs}} your way.

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  31. Mo, My Butcher, well, looks like a butcher lol! Nothing to get excited about!

    I am glad Joanne's test are good.I hope they can find out what's wrong, poor thing!
    I am off to the Karaoke Bar...la la la la la la laaaaaaaaa!!
    There, I am warmed up :)

    Tina, on area 51...phffffttttttts!!

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  32. MARY...the butcher on The Brady Bunch got a lot of action!!

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  33. I'm heading to Joanne's. She is refusing to go to the ER and she is totally listless, etc... I am worried that she may not even make it thru the night and I don't want Sharon to be there alone if something happens. I am thinking she has C-DIFF and it is totally treatable ...if she lets them treat her.

    Please spread the prayers around.

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  34. Mo I don't have any prayers but I'll cross my fingers. ((HUGS))

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  35. Once again I want to thank you all for your comments on the blog.

    Went to mum's this afternoon.My sister's attitude is really getting on my nerves. I hope the bail fund is topped up, cause I may need it sometime soon! ijs. Mum was feeling OK today. She said she had a lot of pain this morning. She tried paying some of her bills over the phone and got really frustrated when she couldn't. Of course she was doing it wrong and wouldn't listen to me. I pay my bills like that every month so I know how to do it, but she wouldn't listen. I didn't bother arguing with her. When I came home I watched 2 good quarter final soccer matches. The other two are on tomorrow, plus tennis is on early in the morning too. I guess my arse will be planted infront of the TV most of the day.

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  36. Nighty night Lynn D, Whabbear, DeeDee, Mary, SacBarb, Tina, Zona, Maureen and Dianne.

    Just Lin I'm sorry your cat died. ((HUGS))

    Carol I hope you get to have some porn this weekend!!

    Happy 4th July weekend to all my American friends!! Have a fun safe time and eat a hot dog for me...with just ketchup on it, thanks!!

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  37. Made it. What usually takes two hours took four. I can't believe I get some off and on signal up here. The weather is beautiful. Sending hugs to u JL and hope u r better today. Carol, any news? Thinking of u

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  38. Diane! You made it! I was worried about your traveling with that big cast! You are def. smelling better :)

    I just got back from Karaoke. I sang a few songs and no one walked out lol!

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  39. Mo~ Haven't talked to son in CA~

    Mary~ brat!~

    Di~ SO GLAD u don't smell anymore...or do you smell like old lady now? :)~

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  40. Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. See the link below for more info.

    #stupid
    www.matreyastudios.com

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