Salt Lake City Weekend

by Sac Barb

I recently spent a weekend in Salt Lake City with Mickie, Pam, Claire, Margaret, Pat, and Betsy, six wonderful women with whom I went to elementary and high school and all of whom live in California.  Mickie’s daughter and son-in-law (Beth and Paulo) left their very quaint four bedroom house to stay with her son and daughter-in-law (Rich and Sue), so we could all stay comfortably together.  It was a very generous gesture which we all appreciated.

Mickie rented a seven passenger van so we could all ride together.  We all had our assigned seats.  Mickie, the driver, and Pam were in the front seats (first class), Claire and I were in the middle two seats (coach), and Pat, Betsy, and Margaret (the skinny bitches) squeezed in the back seat (steerage). 

The first night we arrived we went to a showing of Paulo’s art at a local café.  Beth had given us her GPS so we wouldn’t get lost.  Mickie didn’t have any faith in the GPS and decided to use her own intuition and consequently we got totally lost.  Bertha the GPS lady kept asking if we wanted her to recalculate the route and we finally convinced Mickie to follow her directions.  We made it to the café only a half hour late and Mickie took a lot of ribbing about getting lost. So, when we left, Beth said all we had to do was ask Bertha (which later changed to the Bitch) to take us home, but for some reason she took us in a completely opposite direction.  We were lost again.  Mickie called her other son Mike (who was also at the café) to ask for help.  Mike told her to go to 3300 East and turn right and after we did that and went a few blocks Mike asked her what kind of car she was driving.  She told him, and he said “Are you at a red light next to a bus?” and she said “How did you know that?”  He said, “I am at the same intersection turning right at the green light.  Follow me and I’ll get you home.”  None of us know how he found us, but we were happy to follow him home.  We even asked him if he could just put a trailer hitch on his pick-up and tow us to Park City the next day.  No dice.

Suffice it to say, every time we got in the car was a comic adventure.  We made it to Park City, but not without a few more phone calls to Mickie’s kids.  She would call one and if that one didn’t answer she would call another.  I personally think they took shifts for answering their Mom’s calls and ignoring them if it was not their shift.