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Friday, February 25, 2011

The Top 15 Grocery Store Pick-Up Lines

by Shirley

  1. "I don't care *how* many items you've got, baby, I could check you out all day long!"
  2. "Is it really cold in frozen foods, or are you just happy to see me?"
  3. "May I use those melons for my Fruit of the Loom salad?"
  4. "How about a little roll in the Bakery Department?"
  5. "What a coincidence! You've got butter in your cart, and I've got a copy of 'Last Tango in Paris' at home!"
  6. "How much of this caviar do you think I can get into the trunk of my Ferrari?"
  7. "I've got some meat here that's 'Best if used by tonight.'"
  8. "Price check for mixed roasted nuts on aisle 69!"
  9. "You know, it ain't often that I see a lady buying pork rinds, and when I see a lady buying pork rinds, I says to myself, 'This is one chick I *got* to get to know better.'"
  10. "What a small world! I belong to the Safeway Club, too!"
  11. "So how would you like to become a stock *man*?"
  12. "Pssst! My piggly is wiggly."
  13. "Are we in the laxatives aisle? 'Cause the thought of hooking up with you is running through my mind like crazy."
  14. "Clean up in Aisle BVD!"
    and the Number 1 Grocery Store Pick-Up Line...
  15. "Baby, you better get out of that express lane, 'cause you're all that *and* a bag of chips."

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28 comments:

  1. BebbilaneFebruary 25, 2011 at 9:07 AM

    1

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  2. BebbilaneFebruary 25, 2011 at 9:07 AM

    nah nah boo boo

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  3. whabbearFebruary 25, 2011 at 9:22 AM

    Hey, Bebster!

    Shirley: OMG OMG OMG #11 touched my funny bone for some reason... I just shouted in laughter! Maybe because it's something the Dean's wife could have said to Otter in the Food King in "Animal House" !!!

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  4. whabbearFebruary 25, 2011 at 9:24 AM

    I just read through these again, and laughed at #11 AGAIN!

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  5. DeeDeeFebruary 25, 2011 at 9:33 AM

    "What a coincidence! You've got butter in your cart, and I've got a copy of 'Last Tango in Paris' at home!"

    who didn't see that movie? OMG!!

    That is not a good pick-up line...well... unless ur talking to me.....but I am NOT cutting my nails!!!

    Guten Morgen meine Damen und Herren!

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  6. MaureenFebruary 25, 2011 at 10:09 AM

    Good ones Shirley!

    Fricking blizzard again so waiting a couple of hours to tackle the roads. Can't take a chance of being stuck in traffic and having no access to a bathroom today! kwim.

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  7. Lynn DFebruary 25, 2011 at 11:20 AM

    Morning Glories!

    Shit Shirley these are pick up lines? Who knew. I just thought there were a bunch of weirdos at my Walmart.

    Waving at you all!

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  8. BebbilaneFebruary 25, 2011 at 12:08 PM

    Mo: Ack! I am so glad I don't have to deal with snow right now..!!

    LynnD: LOL and good day!

    Shirley: Loved the pick up lines..never had one used on me. Although, when I lost a little weight I did have one man ask me about the jalapenos in the produce department. I can't remember the whole conversation but my daughter said afterward, "Mom, he was "hitting" on you"..! I HAD NO IDEA!! lol..totally clueless.

    It has been so long that I had forgotten what that was LIKE..he he.

    :) Hey Whab-ba-bobster! Good Day, Dee da Lee da Dee-n Dong. How's that Mel Torme Cream been treatin ya?

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  9. sacBarbFebruary 25, 2011 at 2:07 PM

    Happy Friday Owls.

    Shirley, Those are real groaners and I can't imagine anyone really saying any of those lines to anyone. The melons in the fruit of the loom salad is funny.

    Bebbi, you are ravishing today.

    DeeDee, Where do you find these avatars? This one is especially disturbing!

    Bear, I hope Huz is in PS. We are hearing there may be snow in SF.

    Mo, Imodium!

    Lynn, Have you seen that web site showing pictures of people in Walmart? Some are unbelievable.

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  10. Mary/MIFebruary 25, 2011 at 2:32 PM

    "I've got some meat here that's 'Best if used by tonight.'"
    Do you know how many times I have gone trough that area hoping to hear that?? Well, there was this guy in the bologna dept.... I decided to hang around the flit Mignon area after that lol!

    Mo, we were lucky to miss the snow you are getting.I think more is on the way :(

    Bebbi, you are a bubbly beauty today :)

    Bear, you crack me up!!

    DeeDee,I agree with SacBarb eeewwww!!!!!!!!!

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  11. DeeDeeFebruary 25, 2011 at 2:58 PM

    well ladies...we found her beached while walking along the shore this morning.....brought her to the condo and put her in a tub of water to keep her wet until we can get a tarp to move her to the pool...

    Usually they beach themselves because they are sick so we will have to determine whether it will be best to euthanize her....

    I am sorry if looking at her upsets you but I couldn't just leave her on the beach snorting thru her blow hole!!

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  12. DeeDeeFebruary 25, 2011 at 3:03 PM

    and pipe down Mary!! ...with your "daffodils"....lol

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  13. Mary/MIFebruary 25, 2011 at 3:30 PM

    Is this better DeeDee??
    a "MEAT EATER" LOL!!

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  14. BebbilaneFebruary 25, 2011 at 4:21 PM

    Sacbarb: Thank you! I agree, DeeDee's avatar is especially disturbing today..

    DeeDee: You are an outrageous woman. My oh My.

    Mary: Thank you. Venus fly catcher? My sister-in-law has one of those in her kitchen. Whenever my brother misbehaves, she feeds it his fingers....he only has one left, when that is gone it will be toes...and then, well, she may or may not go to the next obvious appendage.

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  15. DeeDeeFebruary 25, 2011 at 5:35 PM

    Don't make me come in there!

    Oh Mary! Those eat flies!! Could you set that by the tub please??

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  16. DeeDeeFebruary 25, 2011 at 5:52 PM

    that water is starting to look a little brown....I think she made a stinker....

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  17. Dianne/DenverFebruary 25, 2011 at 6:19 PM

    "his piggly is wiggly" .....that cracks me up! I think all these are pretty original....hmmm.....anyone try one yet today?

    How is everyone doing today? I hope okay and you are all done with the snow. I think that groundhog was totally wrong except for ZONA. Although, we have had spring like weather for the last few weeks. We had a "dusting" of snow today but back up in the 60's for the weekend "they say"!

    SHIRLEY, I am doing okay. I had to go and get a CT Scan last night on my forehead from the fall as I was feeling very dizzy and blurry. I still have quite a bump after almost three weeks. The doctor told me that my head and hand have been bruised very badly from falling on that side but the scan and x-rays didn't show anything bad....so that was a relief to me. I still have a loose front tooth also. Dentist thought it would tighten up but so far..not.

    BEBBI: It has been great to see you so full of life all week. A person can't be grumpy around cheerful you...keep it up and glad you are doing so well.

    LYNN: Keeping prayers going for Eva and hope her results come back good and that the wait isn't quite as long. The wait crap makes me so mad!

    BEAR: Still planning your Sept party?

    ZONA: Hope MRZ is better today and can enjoy his vacation. Maybe even a movie?

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  18. Dianne/DenverFebruary 25, 2011 at 6:21 PM

    MARY: Be careful not to get on the bad side of DEEDEE, remember she has those dolls...just ask ZONA!

    SACBARB: I am back in a weird shoe again since my fall. My foot won't fit into a regular shoe yet. Glad yours is healing.

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  19. Dianne/DenverFebruary 25, 2011 at 6:22 PM

    Hmmm, wonder where J/L and TINA are today? Actually, wonder where TINA has been all week. J/L: Are you feeling better?

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  20. Shirley(NCC-1701)February 25, 2011 at 8:33 PM

    I have had a very frustrating day. This morning when I left my apartment there was cat shit about 6 feet from my door. This is the third time I found cat shit in the hallway. I was very angry. When I got to work I called the Housing Authority. I live in a low income housing building. There are six apartments here. I told them the problem and that a certain cat is ALWAYS in the hall. (not the first time I had told them that) The maintenance guy had put in his report (he told me)that he has had to clean cat urine and feces a number of time. I don't understand why this is still an issue. I know I have an issue with cats BUT even if I didn't, why should I have to put up with someone else's pet on a daily basis? I don't think it's fair and I don't understand why the cat hasn't been removed from the building perminently. How many chances does a person get? Obviously the owner doesn't care about anyone else. The cat is well groomed and fed, but it just is not an animal to be in an apartment building. Am I being a total bitch about this? Others have complained about the cat trying to get into their apartment. Luckily it hasn't tried to get into my cause I'm sure with my phobia of cats I would totally freak and probably have a heart attack. I have to muster up the courage to get by it either in the morning when I leave or in the eveing when I get home. It is a very frustrating and stressful situation. This probably sounds silly to some of you. Anyway thanks for listening. You don't have to respond.

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  21. Shirley(NCC-1701)February 25, 2011 at 8:39 PM

    Thanks for the comments today. These were some pretty bad pick up lines, but I knew I had to share them with all of you. Maybe I can find some pick up lines for a laundromat! I'll start looking! I have to work tomorrow, then do laundry and then I have 3 income taxes to do here at home. But I will stop by sometime tomorrow. Thanks Bebbi, Whabbear, DeeDee, Maureen, Lynn D, SacBarb, Mary and Dianne for the comments! I hope you heal soon Dianne. (((HUGS)))

    Nighty Night Owls!!!

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  22. Mary/MIFebruary 25, 2011 at 10:47 PM

    Shirley, I don't think you are being unreasonable.Mr Mary would have fox bait by now! If the owner cared at all for their cat they should keep it indoors.

    Diane, are you sure DeeDee doesn't have a doll with your name on it? She prolly keeps throwing it down the stairs & putting needle in the gums!
    I think she has mine because I have this pain in my arse!!

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  23. Just_LinFebruary 26, 2011 at 1:24 AM

    Shirley Thanks for the pick up lines, but I don't think any of them would ever work on anyone.

    I love cats but you shouldn't have to have cat shit in the hallway outside your door. I am surprised that the cat goes there as they usually like to be able to dig in order to do their business. The owner's probably keep it out because it never got litter box trained properly. Not fair to the cat or to you.

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  24. Just_LinFebruary 26, 2011 at 1:33 AM

    Dianne I am feeling better but still have a cough. I have just had lots of errands to run lately so haven't been stopping in here as much as usual. Today I met with my tax accountant and then I had to go see about getting the frames of my glasses fixed which broke the other day. Fortunately, I had paid $20 for an extended warranty when I bought them nearly two years ago so the deal was that I could get a repair or replacement at 50% off. As it turned out, the frames were discontinued so I got to pick out new ones and only pay half price and the lenses were free. It did take me a while to find the frames I liked best and, of course, they were surely the most expensive in the place. My 50% share I paid was equal to the entire cost of my old frames. LOL

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  25. Just_LinFebruary 26, 2011 at 1:33 AM

    Bebbi Congrats on being the most beautiful here today.

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  26. Just_LinFebruary 26, 2011 at 1:38 AM

    DeeDee Not knowing what to say about that avatar.

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  27. Just_LinFebruary 26, 2011 at 1:41 AM

    Waving at Mary, Bear, SacBarb, LynnD, and MO!!!

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  28. Just_LinFebruary 26, 2011 at 1:42 AM

    I know this makes me sound like a baby but I've had to set the alarm two days in a row and I'm not used to it and I am sure looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow. Don't anyone throw anything at me.

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