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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The Pilot and The Priest

by Dianne

A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.

Saint Peter addresses this cool guy, 'Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven ? '

The guy replies, 'I'm Jack, retired airline pilot from Houston.'

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, 'Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom.' The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.

Next, it's the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, 'I am Father Bob, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last 43 years.'

Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest, 'Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom.

'Just a minute,' says the good father. 'That man was a pilot and he gets a silken robe and golden staff and I get only cotton and wood. How can this be?

'Up here - we go by results,' says Saint Peter. 'When you preached - people slept. When he flew, people prayed.'
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27 comments:

  1. Tina~in_utAugust 17, 2011 at 9:34 AM

    Good Moaning~

    Thanks for sending the joke, Di~

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  2. AnonymousAugust 17, 2011 at 9:34 AM

    BAMM!!

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  3. AnonymousAugust 17, 2011 at 9:35 AM

    Back off Hortense I was first!

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  4. AnonymousAugust 17, 2011 at 9:59 AM

    ha hahahaha....thats so funny Dianne Von Thirstyburg!!

    Reminds me of one about 3 nuns waiting to get into heaven...the first stepped up and Pete told her she had to confess a sin to get in.
    She confessed that she had let a man fondle her tah-tahs and Pete told to wash em in the holy font and go on in.....

    Nun #2 stepped up...same thing...she stepped up and was about to make her confession and Nun #3 was jumping up and down raising her hand behind her and yelling...

    Excuse me! Excuse me!

    Pete asked Nun #3 what she wanted...

    She said...Can I step up there and gargle before she sticks her nasty ass in that water!?!?

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  5. goldieAugust 17, 2011 at 10:05 AM

    Good Moaning to you tina and Michael!

    Funny Dianne,good way to start the day.

    LMAO Michael...

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  6. goldieAugust 17, 2011 at 10:05 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  7. Just_LinAugust 17, 2011 at 2:11 PM

    Tina You're looking lovely today.

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  8. Just_LinAugust 17, 2011 at 2:11 PM

    Dianne Thanks for the cute joke today. I'm going to send it on to a couple of friends who need to have a chuckle today.

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  9. Just_LinAugust 17, 2011 at 2:14 PM

    Michael I'm sending your joke on to friends, too. Good one! I think I see Tina gargling over in the corner.

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  10. Just_LinAugust 17, 2011 at 2:14 PM

    Goldie How was the movie?

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  11. goldieAugust 17, 2011 at 4:55 PM

    j/l- the movie was great. Loved it! Dinner and the company was good too..:)

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  12. goldieAugust 17, 2011 at 4:56 PM

    I have sent both jokes to friends and the ever so "when it is convenient to be Catholic" family members!

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  13. sacBarbAugust 17, 2011 at 9:08 PM

    Dianne, good one. I personally don't know any priests or nuns that would fit this profile...who am I kidding, I went to Catholic school and there was a young nun and a young priest that we always suspected were 'getting it on.' We had no proof, maybe it was just kids fantasizing.

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  14. sacBarbAugust 17, 2011 at 9:09 PM

    My root canal is bothering me today. I don't know what that means. I hope it will subside by tomorrow.

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  15. sacBarbAugust 17, 2011 at 9:10 PM

    Waving a wing to all the owls. I'm gonna watch Big Brother and go to bed. Have a good evening everyone.

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  16. Just_LinAugust 17, 2011 at 9:18 PM

    SacBarb I hope your tooth feels better soon. Thanks for the reminder about BB. I can't stand Rachel or Brendan and the way he babies her. Yuck!!!!

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  17. ZonaAugust 17, 2011 at 10:06 PM

    Hi Guys!

    DI: That was funny! Thanks for the laugh..needed that today! :)

    TINA: I wonder if Jack worked for..well..you know.. ;D

    MICHAEL: Just a click too slow this morning!

    BARB: Oh no! I'm sorry your root canal is bothering you..I sure hope it feels better tomorrow..better yet, after BB!!

    J/L: Brenchel drives me crazy too..mostly chel..lol..

    GOLDIE: I'm going to go see The Help this weekend..yay..finally convinced Mr Z!!

    Back to making dinner..I hope everyone has had a really nice day and has an even better night! :)

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  18. AnonymousAugust 17, 2011 at 10:06 PM

    16 comments....phffft....5 people...

    starts rolling up sidewalk...

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  19. Dianne/DenverAugust 17, 2011 at 10:11 PM

    Thanks for the comments. I thought it was a cute joke. I'm home with the flu for almost a week. Feel yucky!!!!

    Have a good night

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  20. Shirley(NCC-1701)August 17, 2011 at 11:50 PM

    Sorry to hear you are sick Dianne. Hope you feel better soon. I liked your joke BTW. ((HUGS))

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  21. Just_LinAugust 18, 2011 at 2:09 AM

    Zona It took me a minute to figure out Brenchel. LOL

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  22. Just_LinAugust 18, 2011 at 2:10 AM

    Dianne Sorry you're sick. That's no fun at all. I wasn't feeling too well last night but I seem to be fine today.

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  23. Just_LinAugust 18, 2011 at 2:12 AM

    I am packing to fly down to my mother's in the morning. My daughter is going down with me and can stay for 4 days. I'll stay longer than that. This will be the last time she see's her Nana. My son drove down there a few days ago so he could see her one last time. He has returned and even though he was forewarned about how her condition is deteriorated, he still wasn't quite ready for the reality. This is really, really hard.

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  24. Just_LinAugust 18, 2011 at 2:13 AM

    24

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  25. Just_LinAugust 18, 2011 at 2:13 AM

    25

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  26. Dianne/DenverAugust 18, 2011 at 5:06 AM

    J/L: I am so sorry you and your family are going through all this and it breaks my heart reading of your kids saying good bye to their Nana....it just hits home.

    Is your mom being kept comfortable throughout this ordeal? I hope so. My prayers are with you and your family.

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  27. Dianne/DenverAugust 18, 2011 at 5:23 AM

    Can't sleep....found some of MiCHAEL'S cake in refrig...wonder if it's still good. No green showing anywhere.....

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