by Dianne
A friend
told the blond man:
"Christmas is
on a Friday
this year."
The
blond man then
said, "Let's
hope it's not
the 13th."
------------------------------------
Two
blond men find
three
grenades, and
they decide to
take them to a
police
station.
One
asked: "What
if one explodes
before we get
there?"
The
other says:
"We'll lie and say we
only found
two."
------------------------------------
A woman
phoned her blond neighbor
man and said:
"Close your
curtains the
next time you
& your
wife are
having sex. The
whole street
was watching and
laughing at
you
yesterday."
To which
the blond man
replied: "Well
the joke's on
all of you,
because I
wasn't even at
home
yesterday."
------------------------------------
A blond
man is in the
bathroom and
his wife
shouts: "Did
you find the
shampoo?"
He
answers, "Yes,
but I'm not
sure what to
do... it's for
dry hair, and
I've just got
mine wet."
------------------------------
A blond
man goes to the vet with
his goldfish.
"I think
it's got epilepsy," he
tells the vet.
The vet
takes a look and says, "It
seems calm
enough to me".
The
blond man
says, "Wait, I
haven't taken
it out of the
bowl yet".
------------------------------------
A blond
man spies a letter lying
on his
doormat.
It says
on the envelope "DO
NOT BEND ".
He
spends the
next 2 hours trying
to figure out
how to pick it
up.
------------------------------------
A blond
man shouts frantically
into the phone
"My wife is
pregnant and
her
contractions
are only two
minutes
apart!"
"Is this
her first
child?" asks
the Doctor.
"No", he
shouts, "this
is her
husband!"
------------------------------------
A blond
man was
driving home,
drunk as a
skunk.
Suddenly he
has to swerve
to avoid a
tree, then
another, then
another.
A cop
car pulls him
over, so he
tells the cop
about all the
trees in the
road.
The cop
says, "That's
your air
freshener
swinging
about!"
------------------------------------
A blond
man's dog goes
missing and he
is frantic.
His wife
says "Why don't you put
an ad in the
paper?"
He does,
but two weeks
later the dog
is still
missing. "What
did you put in
the paper?"
his wife asks.
"Here
boy!" he
replies.
------------------------------------
A blond
man is in
jail. Guard
looks in his
cell and sees
him hanging by
his feet.
"Just
WHAT are you
doing?" he
asks.
"Hanging
myself," the
blond replies.
"It
should be
around your
neck" says the
guard.
"I tried
that," he
replies, "but
then I
couldn't
breathe".
------------------------------------
(This
one actually
makes
sense...lol)
An
Italian
tourist asks a blond
man: "Why do
Scuba divers
always fall
backwards off
their boats?"
To which
the blond man
replies: "If
they fell
forward,
they'd still
be in the
boat."
Good Morning!
ReplyDeleteDI: Those were all funny..but I liked the first one the best! Thanks for the grins this morning!
DI: I was reading about your horses this morning..dang..they are even being called..GASP!..'mean'! ;) I NEVER thought I'd hear them described that way..evah!!
ReplyDeleteI was glad to see Michael Vick sacked in our game..what was it..four or five times? I know..that's not very nice..but I just don't like him.
And what about those Raiders!! Woohoo! :D
Ok that's the end of the Monday morning football report.. :D
I better go write the check..ick..for the electric bill..ugh..hopefully this will be the last $400..yikes..we have to give them until next summer!
Have a good day everyone!
FROM 51:
ReplyDeleteBARB & DI: No swimming..I wasn't home..and when we got back Rand wanted to do a little yard work..so there was too much grass flying around..not to mention the stray rock zinging across the backyard! ;) The water is cold..but not freezing..so maybe I'll try today.
Now..I kinda remember something about writing a check.. ;)
Good Morning Zona-My-Baby - You are in great form today. You must have had a good night's sleep. I used to be a morning person but somewhere along the way that changed. It's a good thing I don't have to be at school by 7:30 anymore.
ReplyDeleteAnother Monday morning, where are the weeks going? Three months today is Christmas Eve. Wow!
I just had my breakfast. Now it's time to fed the "children". I am happy it's not water therapy day.
Have a marvelous Monday everyone. See you all later.
Once again I forgot to say how much I enjoyed the blog. I think my short term memory is getting worse.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughs Dianne.
Zona. You look cool in first today. I'm glad you will soon be done with those outrageous electric bills. My brother walks about ten miles a day (in early morning during summer) and he does a bunch of laps in the pool. I wouldn't be able to do any of it. Well, I can swim across the pool but I don't have the breath or stamina to do laps. I never was a water baby.
ReplyDeleteDianne. Thanks for the chuckles. I liked the last one best.
ReplyDeleteTinka. I think one of the best things about being retired is waking up early on a stormy winter day and not having to get up and go out in it. I have never been a natural early bird.
ReplyDeleteTina. Thanks for the vid yesterday. Not a big fan of his but it was cute to see him do his best with that song.
ReplyDeleteI sent you a blog a while back. Hope you got it.
I thought I would make a quick peek in the nest and got me a belly laugh!! FUNNY Di!!
ReplyDeleteI am off to the DDS, Just cleaning and prolly ex-rays.
Boo on the high electric bill
Justlin, I am no where nears a morning person. I worked the night for too many years.
Tinka,enjoy your "water free" day :)
Zona, I am not a MV fan either!
Have a great day all!!
Mary. Waving at you. As for MV, I don't forgive or forget.
ReplyDeleteI'm watching my brother's softball game. At least the weather is really nice this time of night. What are you all doing?
ReplyDeleteDianne, I liked the last one the best. It reminded me of everytime we went to the zoo. My Hubby would ask the kids, "do you know why the Flamingos stand on one foot?" No. "Because if they lifted the other one they would fall down." It was such a lame joke, especially after the 100th time, but it still made us laugh. Thanks for bringing back that memory with your blog. :-)
ReplyDeleteZona, You are so petty in first today. I hope you got to swim. Ouchie, for the electric bill.
ReplyDeleteWaving a wing to J/L, Tinka, Mary and all the Owls.
Zona, OOPS! Just got your msg. I really need to proof before I publish. Sorry!
ReplyDelete