The Exam Answers

by Sac Barb

 

The Haircut

by Sac Barb

Blessed are those that can give without remembering,  and take without forgetting.

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' 

The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill , the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. 

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you ' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill , the barber again replied, 'I can not accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman was very happy and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut. 

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

BOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON!
 

What Is Couple Sex?

by Dianne

An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather, who was
working in the yard and asked him, "Grampa, what is couple sex?"

The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a
question, but decided that if she's old enough to know to ask the question,

then she's old enough to get a straight answer.

Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to
tell her all about human reproduction and the joys and

responsibilities of intercourse.

When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking
at him with her mouth hanging open, eyes wide in amazement.

Seeing the look on her face, the grandfather asked her,
"Why did you ask this question, honey?"

The little girl replied, "Grandma says that dinner will
be ready in just a couple secs.

~ Freezing Rain ~

by Tina~in_ut

As long as I've lived in Utah, we've never had a storm like the one we had on Thursday. I didn't know what freezing rain was. I thought I did, but reality was a lot worse. Thankfully, I didn't work that day, so I wasn't out in it. Here are a couple of funny videos that I've seen from that day. I can't watch the second one without pee'ing my pants every time I see it. :D

and........

~ Beauty And A Beat ~

by Tina~in_ut

Before taking me to the airport last week, we picked up Vicki's grandchildren. The kids wanted to hear some music. Alivia liked Justin Bieber. I just happened to have this song on my phone so I played it for them. It was so cute to hear a little 5 year old singing this song. She knew most of the words. Also, a friend of mine at work bought 2 of her daughters tickets to his concert along with backstage passes and a meet & greet......FOR $600 a kid!!!!! It just blew me away!!! So I asked for the same for Bon Jovi......couldn't hurt to ask~

~ WalMart Fun ~

by Tina~in_ut

My Mom's The Best

by Sac Barb

 

~ Dolphin Rescue ~

by Tina~in_ut

OZ The Great and Powerful

by Jodi

Have you seen the trailer for Oz The Great and Powerful?  Looks like great fun!!  The Wizard of Oz is still one of my all-time favorite movies, so it will be interesting to see how this plays out!

 

THE IRISH PROSTITUTE

by Dianne 

An Irish daughter had not been home for over a year. Upon her
return, her Father cussed her. 'Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye
not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand
what ye put yer old Mother thru?'

The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff..Dad..I became a prostitute...'

'Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a
disgrace to this Catholic family.'

'OK, Dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this
luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million
savings certificate, for me little brother, this gold Rolex, and for ye
Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked
outside plus a membership to the country club...... and an invitation for ye
all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera and.......'

'Now what was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad.

Girl, crying again, 'Sniff, sniff.... a prostitute Daddy! Sniff, sniff.'

'Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye
said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old Dad a hug'.

~ MLK Day ~

by Tina~in_ut

~ Master Of The House ~

by Tina~in_ut

I went to see Les Miserables........in Dallas.......with Michael's sisters. We have been talking and thought it would be good to go see it together. We decided to meet half way~ lol~ I flew 3 hours and they drove 3 hours to Dallas.

Mike was such a liar!!!! His sisters, Janet and Vicki, are nicer than nice can be. I kind of knew that already! I mean.....they put up with him, didn't they?!!! We talked a lot....some about him....about growing up...about our families.....we crocheted and knitted.....and ate.....and talked some more.....and ate.....we talked fashion.....you know.....like when to wear black and when not to~ We talked about history....mostly about presidents~ I even learned some new things! 

They were kind enough to bring me the scrapbook I had made for their brother. They also brought all the cards I made him. I couldn't believe he still had them. There were also some other odds and ends along with pictures. It was quite a treat~ Before I left, I also got to meet Vicki's beautiful daughter and sweet grandchildren!

As for the movie, we went prepared. I brought each of us a pack of tissues. I felt kind of bad because, although I LOVED the movie and want to see it again, it was getting toward the end and I couldn't imagine myself crying. Then they started Bring Him Home.....and still nothing. It didn't sound right. I looked over at Vicki and she was sobbing. By the second verse, I lost it too. I was glad when the song was over and I cleaned myself up! Well that was short-lived, because I cried two more times! Michael and I would talk/e-mail all the time about musicals. We'd talk about this one or that one.....which one was the latest craze....and we'd always end up talking about Les Mis.....Our Favorite! Nothing ever compared. He loved loved loved the innkeeper and his wife and Master of the House. This was his favorite version.

I also wanted to share our before and after pictures. Before the movie, we kind of had to whore ourselves out to find someone to take our picture. I, of course, was too shy to ask anyone. One of the sisters, who shall be nameless, Vicki, was not! It's kind of hard to see the sign above our heads, but it's the name of the movie!

~Before~

 

~  Vicki & Janet ~

Afterwards, a woman kindly took our picture outside. The horrid person said, right before she took the first picture (which I'm not posting!), "Okay! CRY!!!!" And so I did!!!!!! We had been wiping up our tears.....and blowing our noses.....to get ready to take a picture.....and she tells us to cry! The nerve!!!!! 

~After~

~ Eyewitness ~

by Tina~in_ut

So what did you originally see? A girl sitting and a guy hugging her neck? Look again. It is really quite the opposite.

Funny how our perception influences our vision and thinking.

The Best of Maxine

by SacBarb