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Thursday, October 10, 2013

Getting to Heaven

by Dianne

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her.

They saw her and began calling greetings to her.

"Hello - How are you! We've been waiting for you! Good to see you."
 
When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.

"Which word?" the woman asked.

"Love."

The woman correctly spelled 'Love',and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.
 
While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.

I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"

"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her.
 
"I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"
 
"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.

"Which word?" her husband asked.

" Czechoslovakia ..."

Moral of the story: LEARN TO SPELL!

64 comments:

  1. Dianne Thanks for the blog. I guess I better practice my spelling, too.

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  2. DIANNE - Good thing I'm a decent speller ;-)

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  4. What a week!! Thankfully I have tomorrow off!! Have a good night HOoters :-D

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  5. SLIN - Looking stunning today! What time do u leave tomorrow? I'm sure your suitcase won't weigh a thing, what with just packing your birthday suit ;-)

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  6. HOdi Because of bringing various weight jackets, I am taking a large suitcase. You are right, though. Expect to be in my birthday suit a fair amount of time. LOL

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  7. MARY - How far did u get today?

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  8. JL.....take your teddy in case it gets cold. At least you'll get lots of exercise the next few days!!! Have fun.

    Jodi...keep taking those spelling lessons. Glad you have a day off. Any plans?

    Mary....are you in Texas?

    Barb..are you hanging with the kangaroos yet?

    I feel old....my granddaughter turned 15 yesterday and got her learners permit today. My little baby!!!

    Had a good volunteer day today. Tonight went to a farm restaurant for a chicken dinner with my girlfriend. It was yummy.

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  9. cute one Dianne!
    We drove straight through to Springfield MO. My son drove most of the way. I drove the last 200 miles on a wing and a prayer lol! I knew he was getting fried so I told him I would let him take a nap while I took over. My eyes are still bleeding lol!
    We got here about 11 am. Matt was too wired to sleep. I passed out, no problm! He is out right now. We will be leaving here about 3am. I called ahead so I could get a room close to the hosp. we were lucky to get one! Big Cowboy game and the State fair going on! Also 6 flags is close by. I wanted the Hamptons but wound up at the Quality Inn. At least we have a place to stay.

    I think I will take a mini nap.....

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  10. DIANNE- I'm going out for breakfast with all my boys, doing laundry, and then might take a drive this afternoon to look at the fall colors and go across the Merrimac Ferry!

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  11. MARY - Safe travels today!! So glad your son is able to take u :D

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  12. Sitting in my jammies now. Tim drove with me this afternoon. We went across the Merrimac Ferry and also stopped at Devils Lake State Park. The colors were gorgeous and I took lots of pics!! My battery was dead when we got back, so I'm charging my camera and will upload the pics this weekend :-)

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  13. Jodi..sounds like a fun afternoon. You working all weekend? You need to go to the movies and see Prisoners. It's really exciting.

    Barb, I saw that you checked in on FB. Glad you arrived safely.

    Mary. Glad you arrived safely too. What a nice surprise for your sister.

    JL....have your warm teddy on?

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  14. DIANNE - I do work all weekend! Is that the movie with Hugh Jackman?

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  15. Waving a wing at BARB & MARY!! I'd wave at SLIN, too, but I'm sure she hasn't cum up for air yet ;-)

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  18. Good grief...now I know how that works!! Lol!!! Hit send 3 times on last comment. Sorry!!

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  19. DIANNE - Are you going to a Bronco party on Sunday? I'm heading into work a little early today. It is UW's Homecoming this weekend and I'm sure we will be swamped!! It will be all about the beer and ice ;) It is also our truck day. I best take an extra shot of coffee today :D

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  20. HELLLO.....hello, hello, hello!!

    What an echo ;-)

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  21. HOdi. I'm here and have cum up for air. LOL. Several ootiins we thought we had today for where to eat breakfast are clised. Couldn't figure it out until someone pointed out that this area in the mountains is federal recreation area and is effected by the government shut down.

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    1. Dianne. Is there any such thing as a warm teddy? I am relying on horizontal exercises to keep me warm. So far it's working.

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  22. Looks like that air has affected your spelling! Ha!! Too bad this shutdown is causing hardships for so many. Enjoy the rest of your trip :-D

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  23. Mary. I hope the rest of your drive is easy. Glad you found a place to stay. Good thinking to call ahead.

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  24. Barb. I'm waving. Can you see me?

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  25. HOdi. I'm here and have cum up for air. LOL. Several ootiins we thought we had today for where to eat breakfast are clised. Couldn't figure it out until someone pointed out that this area in the mountains is federal recreation area and is effected by the government shut down.

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  26. HOdi. I'm here and have cum up for air. LOL. Several ootiins we thought we had today for where to eat breakfast are clised. Couldn't figure it out until someone pointed out that this area in the mountains is federal recreation area and is effected by the government shut down.

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  27. HOdi. I'm here and have cum up for air. LOL. Several ootiins we thought we had today for where to eat breakfast are clised. Couldn't figure it out until someone pointed out that this area in the mountains is federal recreation area and is effected by the government shut down.

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  28. SLIN - Say again? I can't hear u....bwahahahaha!!!

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  29. Boy, JL is stuttering in that mountain air today. Glad you are keeping warm.

    Jodi, no bronco party tomorrow. We are favored by 28 points. Hope the Broncos know that and don't mess up.

    Hi barb and Mary ....

    Went to lunch for a short one today and came home and cleaned out some kitchen cabinets and counters. Things were beginning to look cluttered to me.

    Louis and I went to a new place I had a coupon for but we weren't nuts about it. It was just okay.

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  30. DIANNE - Badgers had a great Homecoming and won 35-6!!! Same, same....Packers are favored to win today. I'll be keeping an eye on that Bronco game, too!

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  31. BARB - What a beautiful pic of the Sydney Opera House!! Are you on a boat?!!?

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  32. Gee, I guess I was stuttering. Yes, let's blame it on the high elevation. I came from sea level you know.

    Saw lots of deer today but also lots of hunters around. : (

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  33. Gee, I guess I was stuttering. Yes, let's blame it on the high elevation. I came from sea level you know.

    Saw lots of deer today but also lots of hunters around. : (

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  34. SLIN - I don't mind seeing hunters if that's how they feed their family.

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  35. Just got back from dinner at Maria's pizza with the boys and Paul. I had their cheese ravioli with 2 meatballs. So good!! But now my belly is super full. I should sleep well tonight!

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  36. DIANNE - Congrats on the Broncos win today. The Packers won, too!! Woot woot!!

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  37. Woot woot on both our games, Jodi. We didn't score like the odds had us but at least we won. I was even cheering for raiders so Chiefs wouldn't be tied with us but it didn't work.
    Barb would have been proud of me.

    JL. You are still stuttering/shivering. Must be chilly up there. Hope you're having fun.

    When does Mary get back?

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  38. DIANNE - Our win wasn't pretty, but we'll take it. MARY just posted on my fb wall. They just got home. Drove straight thru 20 hours. Says she did the triple S and is going to bed!!

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  39. G'day. We are still in Sydney. Leave for Canberra Friday. Went to the Zoo yesterday. Saw Kanga and Roo but the Koalas were hiding. 😞 Free wifi is limited and hard to find. Will try to check in again soon.

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  40. BARB - Sounds like you've been having a good time! I didn't realize Canberra was the capitol city of Australia. Good luck with the hunt for free wifi. I hear it's a difficult animal to find ;)

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  41. Well, Jake signed up for wrestling yesterday. On to the next sport!!! I'm working today, have Tim's parent/teacher conferences, then have to attend a work meeting. I'm thinking a nap after work will be in order!!

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  42. Just got up from my nap. MARY are you still sleeping?!!?

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  43. Hi...BARB, glad you are having fun. Keep checking in when you can.

    Jodi, you are one busy mom. I never liked going to wrestling matches as it was an all day thing with my grandsons. I prefer football or basketball.

    JL must be busy keeping warm.

    Mary...wake up...enough sleep.

    Went to dinner with my oldest granddaughter tonight. She loves learning to drive for the last week. I spent do,e time with my volunteer person this afternoon. She is so enjoyable.

    Not much more to talk about tonight. I'm on my way to dreamland. Night

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  44. DIANNE - Have u driven with your Granddaughter yet? You r right, wrestling tournaments are an all day ordeal, but this fall season is usually just against one other school. Jake loves it, so I go!! Sleep well :-)

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  45. Jodi.....NO, I haven't driven with her yet and that's okay with me.

    Quiet day today..WW and lunch and nap. My cousins from Texas will be here tomorrow. They are staying with my daughter. We will go over there tomorrow night and then we are having a family gathering of about 30 on Saturday. Should be fun.

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  46. Hi all!
    Sorry to be MIA. My son and I decided to drive to Texas after all. I am so glad I did. My sis was so happy to see us. I felt so bad for her when I saw her, she was standing in the middle of the kitchen with packed box after box of things she had moved from their other house. The living room was the same. She barely had room to walk. Loads of unwashed dishes and laundry piled in the hallway. Someone had dumped many plastic tubs of books, nick knacks,and many odds and ins, on the floor of one of the spare bedrooms. I told her to sit while my Niece and I tore into the place. When I left the floors were all cleared and things were packed away in an orderly fashion. Her husband is not in good health either so is not much help. I got word tonight that he was hospitalized! Oye Vey!
    So hard being so far away!
    The air quality in Texas raised havoc with my sinuses! My son and I came back with nasty head colds.
    The quick trip, not eating right,not much rest, and rushing to clean pooped us out!
    I am a little better tonight after taking a nice hot sauna and drinking the vitamin "C" drink.
    Barb, I still can't believe you you are in Australia! Good for you!!

    Waving at Jodi, Dianne, and JL~~~~~
    AAAAAAAACCCCCHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

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  47. I almost forgot to tell you about my sister.. They cleared the 4 stints she had and said she came very close to dying! Now she has to rest so they can do the surgery on her neck which I hear is close to her juggler vein. Good thoughts and prayers would be appreciated. I know my peeps will come through :)

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  48. Mary..Glad you and your son are home. Hope you feel better soon but could you keep your sneezes over on your branch? Thanks. Prayers and good wishes for your sister.
    Do you have a sauna at your house?

    Ok..this time I'm really going to,sleep. Night

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  49. Mary I'm glad you made it to your sister's in Texas and are now safely home again. Sorry about your cold. I just flew home tonight and was sitting next to a nice young man who sneezed a couple of times and was sniffing quite a lot. I hope I don't come down with a cold in the next day or two.

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  50. Barb I'm very envious of your trip. Sounds like you are having a marvelous time. Say "Hi" to Sharon for me. What's the weather like?

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  51. Dianne Sounds like you are going to have a lot of fun with the family get-together. I look forward to your report when you go for a drive with your granddaughter for the first time.

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  52. HOdi Your son sure keeps you busy with all his sports activities. Good for him and good for you, too.

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  53. MARY - Sending healing thoughts and prayers for your brother-in-law. When does your sister have surgery? I knew you would feel better for going *except for the cold*!!!

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  54. DIANNE- Sounds like fun! Enjoy your time with your cousins :D

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  55. SLIN - I may complain about all the running I do, but I secretly love it!!!

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  56. p.s. Praying you don't get a cold. Nothing worse than airplane air!!

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  57. Got my old bowling ball out of the closet yesterday after work. It had originally been my Grandma Jacobson's. She had given it to me about 25 years ago when it got too heavy for her to use. After 20 years, the holes were a big snug, so I took it to the Pro Shop at Badger Bowl. He kindly made the holes bigger for FREE!! I also scored a new bowling bag and shoes! Nothing worse than using the gross shoes you have to rent.

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  58. Gotta get prettied up for work.

    Have a great day HOoters ♥

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