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Friday, March 7, 2014

The DEA Agent

by Dianne


A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
 
The rancher said, "Okay, but don't go into that field over there", as he pointed out the location.
 
The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "Look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!"
 
Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.
 
"See this badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want... On any land! No questions asked, no answers given! Do you understand old man?!"
 
The rancher kindly nodded, apologized, and went about his chores. Moments later the rancher heard loud screams, he looked up and saw the DEA agent running for his life, being chased by the rancher’s big Santa Gertrudis bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it was likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.
 
The old rancher threw down his tools, ran as fast as he could to the fence, and yelled at the top of his lungs...... "YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE!"

67 comments:

  1. Dianne LOL! Thanks for the laugh this morning.

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  2. What's everyone doing today? I should go to Curves but I keep getting a twinge in the lower right side of my back. Not sure is I want to risk having it turn into something more painful and debilitating.

    I'm watching a squirrel that just ran up my redwood tree to his favorite branch. I guess he's full of nuts for now. I put them out every morning and he was helping himself a little while ago. Sometimes the squirrels will remove the shell and eat the nuts while sitting on my deck and other times they just grab one and go bury it in the yard for later. Every once in while, one will grab a nut and bury it in a potted plant only a few feet away. I think that's hilarious.

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  3. Dianne, LOL Thanks for the laugh. That farmer sure taught that Government man a lesson!

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  4. J/L, We have a lot of squirrels here, too. I watch them climb on my back wall and the tree limbs. Do you buy nuts for them? I don't feed them, but I do feed the birds and they sometimes get at the bird feeders. Maybe I should buy nuts for them and they will leave the bird feeders alone.

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  5. JL...Are you sure you're okay? Very scary day for you. Take it easy this weekend. Thinking of you and so glad you weren't hurt.

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  6. Dianne Thanks. Feeling a little achy in the neck and shoulders. I'm sure I tensed up when the truck hit me. Could have been so much worse, though, so I thank my lucky stars. It will be a big inconvenience to get my car fixed, though.

    I think it's time for me to go to bed and read for a bit before sleep. Sweet dreams, HOoters.

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  7. Happy Saturday.

    I am happy to report that I have finished the scrapbook. Now I just have to put the pages in the book. I am taking pictures of the pages before I do that.

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  8. J/L, How are you today. Any aches and pains from the accident?

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  9. J/L, oops, I should have read the earlier posts. I hope your aches and pains are gone by now.

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  10. Waving a wing to Dianne, Mary and Jodi. I hope you are all having a nice weekend. ;)

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  11. Barb I'm still a tiny bit stiff around the neck and shoulders but feel better than I did last night. My car is now at an auto body shop and I have a nice new Prius rental to drive around for the next couple of weeks or so.

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  12. J/L, I saw the picture, but how much damage was done to your car? I looked pretty serious!

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  13. SLIN - How scary!! Glad u weren't seriously hurt!!

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  14. BARB - Congrats on getting the pages done for the scrapbook!!

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  15. Yesterday Aunt Jane took me out for an early birthday lunch. Had to call her from the bathroom. No toilet paper in my stall. I'm not one to "drip dry"...lol!! Paul and I were going to go out for my birthday dinner last night. I had gotten a certificate for a free dinner from his Uncle's restaurant. Thankfully I checked it before we left because its only good on Sunday thru Thursday nights. I guess we will just have to go on my actual birthday.

    Jake just weighed in at his wrestling tournament. We have heard there r over 500 kids registered today. Gonna be a long day.

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  16. Wishing everyone a peaceful Sunday :)

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  17. Barb I got the car to the auto body shop only an hour before they were closing until Monday. They will do a more comprehensive review of it then and have an adjuster look at it. Obvious is the damage to the two doors and it knocked the backing off of the driver side mirror. When opening the doors you can see some scraping marks from where the doors where pressed against the frame. To my eye, the frames didn't seem out of whack, but we shall see what happens when they look at it more closely, including the under-carriage. Fortunately, this happened on a quiet neighborhood street so neither of us was going very fast. If we would have been on the boulevard or the highway, things could have been much, much worse.

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  18. HOdi I meant to call you back yesterday but by the time I got settled, it looked like it would have been your bedtime and I didn't want to disturb you.

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  19. SLIN - Thanks for that. Jake went to watch the Big Ten College Wrestling Tournament in Madison, and by the time we got back it was late.

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  20. Waiting for Jake's last match. He's wrestling for 3rd place :-)

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  21. Can I get a woot woot? My boy got 3rd!!

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  22. In other news, today was my brother's birthday. I sent a card and today I left a voicemail (which included me singing to him). Even though we don't have much of a relationship, I still love him. And I do these things, because it is the right thing to do. Do you think he could call me back or even text me a thank you? Nope. Zilch, zip, nada. It breaks my heart, but at least I know my Mom is proud that I continue to make an effort. SMH....

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  23. Watching the Sunway Show on Livestream. I see MARY is, too!!

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  24. How fun!! They just sang Happy Birthday to me ♥

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  25. Ok, time to go back to bed. Good night HOoters ♥

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  26. Ushered for Romeo and Juliet set in the 1930s. Wonderful production. Cheesecake Factory for dinner with the Jennifers after the show. All in all, a very good day. I hope you all had a good day also.

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  27. BARB - Sounds like a great production!! What did u have for dinner?

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  28. Barb, sounds like a fun day. I haven't seen that show here. Congrats on getting scrapbook down. Yea!! When do you leave and for how long?

    Jodi.. Almost your birthday. Let's see now. You must be about 50 by now, right? You can't still be in those 40"s Woot woot for Jake ..Good job.

    JL.Are you still feeling okay? Glad you got your car in so quick.

    Mary....where are you and what are you up too?

    We are going up in the mountains this morning and spending the night and back tomorrow late afternoon. Louis is on Spring break we did this last year and planned our cruise excursions together while we were there and that's what we will do again. I also have him talked into taking me in my little travel chair to the Coach outlet store to browse. He's thrilled..NOT

    Everyone have a good day.

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  29. Dianne Going to the Coach store "just to browse"? Yeah, right! LOL

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  30. DIANNE - I'm not 50 yet. Not for 2 years!! At least TINA will hit that one before me ;)

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  31. DIANNE - P.s. My fav "just browse" store!!

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  32. Dianne, Romeo and Juliet is not on our Broadway season. This is at the local theatre where I volunteer as an usher.

    I am leaving for San Diego on Friday and will return on Tuesday. I ended up having to split the scrapbook into two books. I have 130 pages which when put back to back, was about 50 pages too many for one book. So, I put all the school and sports pictures in another book.

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  33. Jodi, Congrats to Jake on taking 3rd in his wrestling. You are one proud Mama.

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  34. J/L, I hope your aches from the accident are gone or at least not worse. Will your car be able to be fixed or do you have to get a new one?

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  35. BARB - It has been an exciting season. Next Saturday he needs to get 1st or 2nd to make it to the state tournament. He only lost once last Saturday to a boy that was lightening quick!

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  36. Jodi, I have a feeling Jake will make it! He is one tough guy!

    JL, I can't believe you didn't wind up with something broken! Glad you were both traveling slow!

    Dianne, I wonder if your "browsing" is anything like my "browsing" LOL!!

    Tina is THAT close to 50??? WOW!!

    This week end I spent visiting friends that are home or hospital bound. Also visited with an old pal that has been going through a lot of hard times. She was so glad I came. We caught up on many things. I came away being grateful for what I have, a good family, my health and good friends especially my owl peeps :)

    I visited my neighbor Jim who is in a convalescent home healing from his hopefully last knee surgery. I also visited his ex-wife. She was in there with him last week recovering from her extensive back surgery. They get along better now, than they did when they were married lol!
    My last visit was to a sweet elderly lady who is also recovering from surgery and phenomena. She has cancer too! Yes I feel truly grateful today!!!

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  37. Mary Well we weren't going super slow but appropriate for residential neighborhood streets. It definitely could have ended up much worse.

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  38. Barb My neck and shoulder muscles are still stiff and my sciatica is acting up but that part may be coincidental. I'm expecting they can fix the car. When I dropped it off Saturday, the preliminary estimate was $5,500 but they were going to give it a more thorough look, including the undercarriage. I will call tomorrow to see if that gone done today and what the final estimate is. Sure glad everyone involved has insurance.

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  39. HOdi Sorry your brother is the way he is. ((((HUGS)))

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  40. MARY - You are blessed, indeed. And so are the many people whose lives you have touched!

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  41. SLIN - Thanks and thanks. Love u pretty lady ♥

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  42. I went to Jake's band concert last night. What a talented bunch of kids! I will upload video after I get back from work the the DMV (have to renew my license today). After Jake's concert I went to the bowling alley that I sub at. Had a couple of beers with my team. My gays know how to make this old gal feel young!!! lol!!

    Paul and I are going out for my birthday dinner tonight. He made a reservation at 5. Should be done and back in time to pick Jake up from practice.

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  43. DIANNE - How was your mountain get-a-way?

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  44. Leaving a stack of Glazer Donuts for my birthday treat. Truly blessed to have u all in my life ♥

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  45. Thanks DIANNE! I truly had an awesome day ♥

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  46. Jake came home from practice last night complaining about his knee. He usually wears knee pads, but didn't last weekend. Praying this is temporary. He has worked too hard this season to not wrestle this weekend!!

    Going over to Sam's after work. She had texted me last night asking if we could swing over on our way home from dinner, but I was already home and had my jammies on. My sweet girl has a gift for me ♥

    Best hoist and rinse. Thankfully I have a short shift today.

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  47. Jodi, you are one busy Mama! I remember the sports "whirl wind" I did with my sons. Sometimes I wonder how I did it all while holding down a job! I hope Jake's knees feel better!

    Dianne, have you recovered from your week end? An Alaskan trip sounds like quite an adventure, although after this winter that would be the last place I would go lol!!!

    JL,That's a lot of damage! Are you enjoying your rental?

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  48. Just got back from the Dr. Jake is done. Some sort of syndrome with his Patella. Physical therapy is prescribed. I have one bummed son.

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  49. Jodi, So sorry Jake is hurt. Having three boys I can totally relate. Todd played football in high school and in his Junior year he tore his anterior cruciate ligament, which meant surgery to reconstruct it. No football for him in his senior year, because that surgery is a 12 month rehab and recovery.

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  50. Mary Yes, I am enjoying the rental. It's a 2012 Prius C. Quite lush, leather seats, GPS, back up camera. It's a combination Hybrid and Electric Plug In but I don't plan on using the electric side of it.

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  51. HOdi I'm sorry to hear about Jake's injury. I'm sure he's disappointed that he won't compete this weekend. He had a great season, though, and he should be proud of that.

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  52. Barb It was another gorgeous day here. I enjoyed it but felt guilty about it since we really need more rain.

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  53. Tell me, does this make any sense at all?

    I am having a front deck/porch built at the moment. It is maybe 1 1/2 feet off the ground. If I put no kind of rail around it, no problem at all. But because I want some kind of railing, I have to have the railing be 42 inches high and get a building permit. HUH?

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  54. JL, that is silly! I could see it if the deck was way off the ground!
    It was a very cold day here. I went to the store today because it was a clear/no snow day. I almost turned back! The roads were one track snow covered and horrible! I don't think the plow trucks touched them! It was ok unless someone was coming in the opposite direction. One of us had to make room for the other! I am soooo sick of this winter!

    Time to head to FB......

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  55. Mary What really makes it stupid is that the same deck with no rail at all would not require a building permit. The railing is the only difference.

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  56. SLIN - That just seems ridiculous! Are you required to have the railing?

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  57. BARB - Thank you. He is heading down to Mineral Point with his coach today. His coach's sister lives down there and they are staying overnight. Wants to go with and support the guys that are wrestling tomorrow for Regionals.

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  58. MARY - It's a balmy 40* here this morning, but we have another cold front coming. UGH!!! In serious need of warmth!

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  59. SLIN - He is proud of his season. He got a text from his coach (which I think he meant to send to another friend). It said "just lost my top 8th grader for Regionals". So he knows where he stood for the season ♥

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