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Thursday, December 11, 2014

Burial Plans


by Dianne

A man and woman were married for many years.  Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night.  The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" 
 
Neighbors feared him.  The old man liked the fact that he was feared.  Then one evening, he died when he was 98.  After the burial,  her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?" 

(HERE IT COMES!!!)

The wife said,  "Let him dig.  I had him buried upside down...and I know he won't ask for directions."

56 comments:

  1. Well, I didn't get blown to Oz last night but we sure had some huge winds. I have a tree guy coming to look at a large tree of mine that broke in half and is resting on the fence. Backyard looks like a swamp with lots of branches and a smaller broken tree.

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  2. J/L, So sorry about your trees. It's a deluge up here and our street has some standing water. Some of the drains are clogged with leaves and my neighbor on the corner is out trying to clear the one by his house. Last night the winds were fierce and one of my gates (right near my bedroom) kept banging. I didn't want to go out and fix it though.

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  3. DIANNE - Typical man ;) Thanks for the chuckle this afternoon! Oh, and thank you for the card. It is beautiful!

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  4. SLIN - Glad you didn't get blown away. Sorry about the mess in your yard.

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  5. BARB - Not sure I could've slept thru all that banging. But probably wouldn't have wanted to go out in the storm to fix it, either.

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  6. When the winds started up last night I went out and brought in the 3 hummingbird feeders. At around 4 a.m., the winds were keeping me awake so it dawned on my that maybe I should bring in the wreath that was on my door, too. LOL Surprisingly, it was none the worse for wear.

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  7. A rather large branch broke off of a tree in my front yard during the storm. I was just out in the rain and dragged it across the yard and put it on the side of the driveway. At least it only landed on my lawn and walkway, not on my car.

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  8. SLIN - Glad that branch didn't hit your car! How did your stew turn out?

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  9. Heading to bed. Good night HOoters!

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  10. Hodi I'll be having my stew in about 15 minutes and it sure is smelling good.

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  11. Good morning! Inventory day here. Also day 5 of 7 in a row.

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  12. HOdi Hope you have a good day. Oh, the stew was great and I have plenty of leftovers since I live alone. Good for me. :)

    The tree guys are here now dealing with the broken tree. It continues to rain. I see from my deck that I've lost a board out of the fence. Don't know if there is any more damage than that since I haven't gone down for a closer look since my yard is so swampy right now. It appears to be only one board though. I see that my neighbors lost a whole side fence. At least there is only rain now and no wind.

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  13. Sounds like you live in a hurricane JL..glad no branches on your house or car. Hope it calms down there soon. Remember..don't send it here.

    It was so nice today and I had a 9:30 dr appt so didn't want to go home and in the house. I went to mcdonalds and got a drink and just sat there in the sun and then cleaned my glove compartment. I went from there to the car wash...even though snow is predicted for Sunday. I wanted the inside cleaned. I finally came home and started sorting Christmas gifts. No lunches today. We have an early start tomorrow with cheer competition. No plans for the weekend as have the girls ...yea!! I'm looking forward to it.

    Jodi, you must be getting tired. Are you getting some time off at Christmas? Did you get your picture done for a card yet? You might have to just go get cards. JL, your card arrived today..thank you.

    Barb, how are you doing with all that wind and water? You are on our news every night.

    I was hoping more packages would arrive today so the kids could wrap them and not me. I'm not a wrapper.

    Boring night. Louis is doing end of the semester work so he wanted to stay home for dinner. He had left overs and I had !McDonalds. He's busy grading.

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  14. Dianne There were moments when it felt like a hurricane. It was nice to see some blue sky this afternoon but I hear more rain is on the way. I straightened up and cleaned my bedroom today which was starting to look like a storeroom. I heated up leftover stew for dinner. That's the trick, Dianne. If you cook, cook enough for more than just one meal.

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  15. SLIN - Glad you enjoyed your stew! My favorite thing about winter. Comfort food!!!

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  16. DIANNE - Sunday is the day for the family pic! I have warned them all. It better happen! This way I can upload the pic to WalMart.com to make my cards on Sunday. Hopefully get them back on Monday and get them out before I work again on Wednesday. Good luck at the cheer competition today! I hope you or Tammy post a video! And yes I'm exhausted. But that is what coffee is for!! Ha!

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  17. SLIN - Thank you for the card!

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  18. I have also received cards from BEVERLY and BARB IN COviaWA! I love this time of year ♥

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  19. Well. We've made the finals so we shall see what happens now

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  20. Yay!! That's exciting DIANNE! I hope they do well!

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  21. Hello HOoters!

    I finally stopped raining late yesterday so I went out today to get a 2015 fishing license for Dean's birthday tomorrow. I also got last minute things for dinner and mailed my Christmas cards. I actually ran out of cards, so I had to make a few more, plus I made a different card for the two Jennifers because I thought it would be tacky to say "Merry Christmas. Here's a card that you helped make." LOL Now I have to finish cleaning my house.

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  22. Dianne, Congratz to the girls for making the finals. By now, you probably know if they won!

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  23. OK IT stopped raining, I however have not stopped raining! I really should read my comments over BEFORE I post!

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  24. Jodi, I hope the picture taking goes well this time!

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  25. J/L, You were lucky to be able to get that tree taken care of so quickly. I got your email about the flights, but I haven't been able to check on my timeshare yet. It takes a long time on the phone and I may not be able to do it until Monday after all this birthday stuff is over. Sorry!

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  26. Waving a flappy wing to Mary and Barbara.

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  27. We came in fourth and they are not happy

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  28. HOdi I hope all goes as planned for the picture taking tomorrow.

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  29. Dianne Sorry that the girls aren't happy but I guess it's just one of those lessons in life We can't always be number one at everything and life can still be very good. Good job on making it to the finals!

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  30. Barb That's funny that you had to make special cards for the Jennifers. Will they be ending you ones that you helped make? LOL Don't worry about the timeshare thing. Do it when you can do it and enjoy the birthday boy's special day.

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  31. Hi...I think fourth out of 25 is pretty good. They just get used to being first or second. Learning experience. It was a long day watching 25 cheer teams and Pom teams but still better than the wrestling days. At least it smelled better

    Ok JL, if I ever cook again I will make a weeks worth a one time. He probably won't want me to cook again.

    Glad the weather is getting better for all of you out there.

    Tomorrow we play San Diego and we need to win to win our division so it would be nice to hear you ALL cheering for us.

    Jodi, hope you get that picture done tomorrow. Put your foot down and be the boss!!

    Well, guess I'd better go supervise the girls wrapping as they talk to Kayla's boyfriend on speaker. I'll see how much work they are really getting done.

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  32. Dianne LOL @ it smelling better than the wrestling! I should hope so!

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  33. J/L, I'm sure the Jennifers will send me a different card than what we worked on together. It's just funny that we spend all that time making cards and we all feel the same way about sending that same card to each other. Stew sounds so good, I wish I had some right now. I always make toasted garlic bread when I make stew so I can dip it in the stew gravy. I love stew in the cold weather.

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  34. Dianne, Sorry the girls didn't win, but as you and J/L said, it's one of those lessons in life.

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  35. Success! Photos taken, uploaded and created cards, and can pick them up in an hour!!

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  36. Jodi, yay! I hope I am on your list :)

    Dianne, thanks for the funny B-day card! "Remember, when God closes a door, He opens a window.That's when you climb the hell out and meet me at the bar!" LMAO!!!

    Barb in CO, beautiful card. I happen to love daisys. I needed a little "spring" this month :)

    SacBarb, holey moley! I hope the next rain is a kinder gentler no-wind rain!

    My Dr confirmed what I thought. I have arthritis in my neck. Not much can be done but keep taking my Motrin. He gave me muscle relaxers, but I doubt if I take them. If no improvement in a couple of months, he will set up some therapy.I hate this stiff neck! I told Jim that maybe we could move somewhere warmer :) lol!

    I have all my gifts wrapped and sent out! I am so proud of me lol!! Jim is still a problem. I do have a set wireless tv headphones ordered. He has a hard time hearing the tv in the living room and has it set way too loud! It is a gift for me too lol A win win gift!

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  37. HOdi I'm glad your picture day was a success! Can hardly wait to see it.

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  38. Mary I'm sorry about your arthritis. Hey, maybe you could spend more time in Las Vegas! LOL I think the tv headphones sound like a great idea.

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  39. MARY - Of course you are on the list!! Good for you on the gifts. I still haven't gotten any wish lists from anyone! I guess it's gonna be a socks and underwear Christmas ;) Sorry you are still in so much pain. Take the muscle relaxer. It may help. Oh, and.....

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

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  40. SLIN - Sam's camera was dead, so we used my cell phone camera. She took the pic of me and Paul, and I took the one of her and the boys. I think they turned out ok. I was able to edit the pics right on my phone, email them to myself, save them on my desktop, and then upload to Walmart's site. They had a card meant for 2 pics that I really liked.

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  41. P.S. I still want to get a family photo!!! I did, however have 8x10's made for my in-laws of Sam and Tim's senior pics. They will be thrilled with updated pics of all the kids.

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  42. Mary Happy birthday! I hope you have a wonderful day. Also, thank you for the lovely Christmas card.

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  43. Barb Thank you for the Christmas card. It's lovely, as always. You do such a good job at making these. I'm so impressed!

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  44. HOdi Well isn't that the way? You finally get your family to cooperate about the group photo and the camera doesn't work! I'm glad you were able to get some nice shots with your phone. I look forward to seeing your card.

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  45. SLIN - It wasn't meant to be...for now. I'm not thrilled with my pic, but it is what it is. Actually Sam had to take ours several times. I wasn't wearing my glasses, and was tired, so my left eye was VERY droopy. We laughed our asses of. There was even talk of making a Popeye theme card. OY!!

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  46. Good grief...laughed our asses off!!! lol!

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  47. Happy Birthday MARY!!! I hope your day is filled with all your favorite things! Maybe you have a cabana boy tucked away? ;)

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  48. HOdi LOL @ having a Popeye theme! I have an eye that tends to do that, too! Maybe we were pirates in another life. Arrr, my matey!

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  49. J/L, You are so welcome. I got there really quickly. I just mailed them Saturday. Thank you and I'm glad you liked it.

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  50. Mary, I hope you're having a wonderful birthday and celebrating with your family and friends. I hope someone is cooking for you for a change. ♥

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  51. BARB - Thank you for the beautiful card. I loved the contrast with the black ♥

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  52. Thanks Jodi. That's the non-traditional card because its not red and green. It's not my original design. I saw it on Pinterest and I thought it was so classy, so I copied it. ;)

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  53. Hi...I love receiving all the cards. It's nice to get real mail. I've always been a card person. I had some family ask me how long I'm going to send Christmas and birthday cards...until I can't write anymore. I enjoy it.

    I went to lunch with my childhood friend yesterday and was able to get the boy the grew up by us to join us. They hadn't seen each other in 50 years. It was such a fun lunch.

    The wrapping was finished and I just have a few things of theirs to wrap plus the few things I keep buying.

    Mary, I hope you are feeling better. What did you do for you birthday? You didn't cook did you? I never cook on my Birthday.

    Not much going on around here. Can't believe Christmas Eve is in a week. It sure came up quick. Hope the snow holds off.

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