Little Harry

by Dianne

The 1st grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students.

The teacher asked, 'Harry, what exactly is your problem?'

Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is!  I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'

Ms. Brooks finally had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained the situation to the principal.  The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he happily agreed to take the test.


Principal:  'What  is 3 x 3?'
Harry: '9..'
Principal: 'What  is 6  x 6?'
Harry: '36.'


And so it went with every question the principal thought a bright 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, ' I consider Harry can go to the 3rd grade'.

But Ms. Brooks is still skeptical of the little bugger and says to the principal, 'Not so fast, let me ask him a few questions..'

The principal and Harry both agree.

Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'

Harry, after a moment: 'Legs..'

Ms. Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: 'Pockets..’ to the Principal’s great relief…..

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'

Harry: 'Pants.'

By now, the principal is sitting forward with his mouth hanging open..

Ms. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'

Now the principal's eyes open really wide and before he could intervene, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'

Harry: 'Shake hands.'

The principal is now trembling with apprehension as Ms. Brooks asks the last question……

Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' and indicates a great deal of heat and excitement?'

Harry: 'Firetruck.'

The principal breaths a huge sigh of relief and tells the teacher, 'Put the little bastard in 5th Grade, I got the last seven questions wrong myself...'

Dust If You Must

by Dianne

Why Men Wear Earrings

by Dianne

Did you ever wonder why earrings became so popular with men?

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."

The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."

"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.

His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"

"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."

I always had wondered how this trend got started.

~ Happy Mother's Day ~

~ The Babymaker ~

Ed Houben is Europe’s most virile man. And after years of donating sperm the “normal” way (sterile room, cup, cash), he and some women looking to get pregnant for free began cutting out the middlemen and getting it done as nature prefers it (sex!). Today, Houben has over a hundred children—and Ed the Babymaker is in greater demand than ever. We imagine you have some questions.... Read the full story

(Just in case the link doesn't werk.....copy and paste this whole thing into your browser)

http://www.gq.com/story/how-to-have-babies-sperm-donor-ed-houben