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Monday, October 2, 2023

The Pharmacist

 by Dianne

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”

 

The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

 

The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”

 

The pharmacist’s eyes got big, and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband. That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”

 

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.

 

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied,

 

“Well now, that’s different. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”

7 comments:

  1. LOL. That was really funny. I’m listening to the news while I’m writing this and they just announced that two lottery tickets sold in Sacramento have 5 numbers and are million dollar winners. I forgot to check our numbers but there’s no need. They also showed where the tickets were bought and it isn’t where we got ours. 😩 that sure would have been nice! No billion dollar winner again!
    Mary, how nice that you were able to attend the wedding and meet Raquel’s new baby and also have a reunion with the relatives.

    Dianne, I’m glad all finally turned out OK on your trip. How are you and Louis feeling? I’m kinda worn out these days from doing so much to het Marie moved. Now we’re trying to get her condo ready to sell. More work!!! We’re just getting it decluttered so we can have it cleaned and painted. We still have to fix the plumbing and get new carpet for the bedroom. The rest of the rooms have wood floors and they will probably need to be refinished. She just never took care of them. Also, the new a/c is not working and the guy that installed it has ghosted me. I’ve called and texted him and he won’t respond! She has that American Home Shield insurance for appliances, etc. and they sent him out, so I’m trying to get them to do something about it. She’s had that insurance for almost 30 years. This and dealing with the HOA and the plumbing issue are what is wearing me out! I wish I could just dump it all, but I can’t.

    JL, There sure has been a lot of flack on social media about Jamie Lynn getting dumped on DWTS. Between that and Kevin McCarthy getting ousted as Speaker of the House, it’s pretty much all I’ve heard on TV.
    Colbert’s monologue about McCarthy and Matt Gaetz and the rest of the GOP senators was priceless.
    I’m intrigued by the meals you’ve been getting. Are they expensive? How does the program work?

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  2. Checking in...
    I made homemade pizza for supper. Now I am sleepy. The carbs got to me. I am fighting a nap, so here I am :)
    Our temps have dropped a bit. It is 56* and will be cooler tomorrow. I switched my summer clothes for warmer. I kept out 2 pr of shorts just in case of a late heat wave ha ha!
    I have a bag full of clothes I have not worn for a while, to donate. I will be going through my costume jewelry next. I dumped shoes that were too worn. I kept thinking I would wear them in the garden or just working outside. I never used them since I bout a couple pair of rubber boots. One pair I wear a lot in the winter.They are so warm and water proof, I don't need socks, even when it snows.
    I will be "investing" my $10 winnings on the Power ball again. Is it possible to win over a billion for just $10? lol!

    ok. I think I have kicked the carb. napping thing, so I will go for a short walk. It has been raining for a couple days which helps my breathing. The farmers have bee harvesting hay, beans & corn all around us.

    I hate that it's getting dark early. I better get out there before it gets too dark :(

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  3. Chicken n dumplings with my fresh frozen corn b ready by 5:00 my time. come on over :)

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  4. Mary Oh, that sounds sooooo good. What a great "comfort food"! I haven't made chicken and dumplings in many years. I used to make it using a recipe from Bisquick and it was really delicious. I just finished off the spaghetti I made recently. I was having a craving for it.

    I've got stuff to donate, too. We used to have a drop off place only a mile away but that disappeared during the pandemic and hasn't returned. I think I'm going to have to really go out of my way to donate now and that's disappointing. I'll wait until I have a big haul before I do it.

    I've never made homemade pizza. What do you like to put on it? I used to order pepperoni on my pizza along with mushrooms and olives but lately I've just wanted mushrooms on the cheese.

    We did have a late heat wave which was great for all the people who went to San Francisco to see the Blue Angles perform this weekend. I was whining because it stayed hot in my house until the wee hours of the morning.

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  5. Barb I think we probably discussed Home Chef enough via texting but if I didn't tell you, the minimum order is $50.95. That's basically per week although you can skip a week. The price includes the $10.95 shipping charge. Each dinner is for 2 people and price depends on what you order. Dinner options can range from approx. $12 per serving to $16 per serving. There are single serving lunches that you just have to heat up and I think they are $8.95 each. They also have some little breakfast and dessert items. The menus vary every week.

    It sounds like you need to call American Home Shield and bitch a major fit. You have enough headaches to deal with without that BS.

    Now that the Kaiser strike is over (for now), I think I'll be getting the most updated COVID vaccinee this week.

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  6. Dianne I currently have a big bruise on my arm that reminded me of yours. I got mine when I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and accidentally swung my arm into the edge of the strike plate on the bedroom door frame. I have since examined that strike plate and it protrudes into the bedroom by about 1/4 inch out from the actual door frame. I don't know why this is. The same is true of my bathroom. None of the rest of the house is like that. I think I will have to go to the hardware store and see about getting different strike plates before I end up hurting myself again.

    I bought my Christmas stamps the other day. There were only two choice at my local post office.

    I'm going to have to make my dinner earlier than usual because I want to watch the 49er game at 5:20. We've been doing great, so far.

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