The L Word

by Bonachichi

A man told me he loves me today. He's one of my show-biz friends/clients, so I said, "Yeah, ya luv me. You guys luv everyone."  "No," he said. "I really do love you."  WTH?

I don't like that word, simply because it's over-used. People love food. They love chairs. They love their cars. It's especially dangerous when saying it to a member of the opposite sex. When that happens, the other party has to wonder, "HOW do you love me?" I don't mind a gay man telling me he loves me. If a girlfriend says it, I know she is fond of me. When a straight man other than my husband says it, alarms go off. This opens a potential can of worms. How do you prove that the fondness you feel for a member of the opposite sex (okay, same sex for some of us), is innocent love and not lust?

When a woman tells a man she's dating that she loves him, it's our secret code. We're letting them know they're in our sites. We want more. So when a man says it to a woman, what's that mean? My client/friend hates his drunken wife. It's not a rumor, I've met her. She's a drunk. Still, I don't want to put myself in a position where I'm accused of being in the middle of someone else's marriage.

I wish people would stop using that "L" word. I say, "adore." You can back-pedal from that. That one word, "love" has destroyed more relationships than it's built.  When you tell someone you "love" them, what's it mean to you? Did you ever think it could make someone else uncomfortable?

Cash For Clunkers

by SacBarb

IF MY BODY WERE A CAR...

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish, and my paint job is getting a little dull. But that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus, and it's especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --  


 












Almost every time I sneeze, cough or laugh, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.
CASH FOR CLUNKERS..........I QUALIFY - 

~ Non-Rev Challenge ~

by Tina~in_ut

My company has a contest called the Non-Rev Challenge.  (Non-Rev stands for non-revenue....meaning that we standby for the flight and don't pay anything if there is a seat available for us to fly)  Teams of 5 people visit as many as 100 different places around the world to earn points and must take a picture of themselves at each place or performing the required task.  The team with the most points gets positive space business class tickets to anywhere we fly.  Also, each team gets donations, either lump sum or per destination or per mile flown, and the total is given to the charity of the winning team's choice.  Each team has to have at least one person in each picture wearing the non-rev challenge t-shirt.  They earn more points if there are more team members in the picture.  There are five different tiers and any team completing all of the tasks in a tier earn bonus points.

Tier 1: Anywhere!  Each extra team member in the picture earns 2 extra points.  If you complete all tasks in this tier, you earn an extra 50 points.  Here are some of the 25 tasks:

• take a picture with someone with a mullet
• sliding down a fireman's pole
• with someone in a traditional geisha costume
• while volunteering at an official United Way event
• burying a team member in the sand

Tier 2: Focus! Each extra team member in the picture earns 4 extra points.  If you complete all tasks in this tier, you earn an extra 50 points.  Here are some of the 15 tasks:

• at La Brea tar pits
• doing jumping jacks in JAX
• with one of the "Mermaids on Parade"
• wearing a fake mustache with the Topiary French People

Tier 3:  In the Land of the Free!  Each extra team member in the picture earns 4 extra points.  If you complete all tasks in this tier, you earn an extra 75 points.  Here are some of the 20 tasks:

• eating marshmallows in front of the Ghostbuster's Firehouse
• straddling the Nevada/Arizona border at Hoover Dam
• standing on the glass ledge at the Skydeck at the Willis Tower
• with the world's largest shuttlecocks

Tier 4:  Across the Pond!  Each extra team member in the picture earns 8 extra points.  If you complete all tasks in this tier, you earn an extra 100 points.  Here are some of the 20 tasks:

• at the entrance gates of Christiana
• at Hagia Sophia
• at the House of Blue Tiles
• in front of the Narrowest Canal House

Tier 5:  Find Non-Rev Norman!  Each extra team member in the picture earns 8 extra points.  If you complete all tasks in this tier, you earn an extra 100 points.  This tier is the tricky one.  There are 20 pictures, some of which I have posted here, and the first thing you have to do is figure out where in the world the picture was taken and then go there and take a picture of your own.  These are the pictures that I cannot for the life of me figure out where they are.  I'm almost positive about one of them, but the others.....not a clue.  Do you have any ideas?  One of my friends is signing up for the challenge.  She did this last year and her team came in second.  I told her that I'd help her find out where these places were.  I wish I could go with her because it sounds like so much fun, but she's young and doesn't have a family, so I'll just root for her from home (and probably work for her too!).

Booty Pop

by Shirley

This is just too stupid! Would any of you seriously by this product? First they wanted you to be skinny as hell and now they want you to add stuff to your clothes! What is wrong with this picture?! Be healthy and happy...that's it!

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Facebook: Keeping in Touch

By Just_Lin

I was very reluctant to get signed up on Facebook and I only did so because of the lure of Farmville and SacBarb's persuasion.  I'm really glad I did, though, as I've been having fun with Farmville and Frontierville.  I decided to sign up under my blog name, however, not my real name because, frankly, I don't want to be in touch with everyone I ever knew and don't want them to find me and then I'd be put in the awkward position of having to "ignore" them. 

Since I am mostly retired from the veterinary clinic, only working a couple of days a month, and my good friend, Lani, is also retired from the same clinic, we both find Facebook to be helpful in keeping in touch and up to date with the activities of our friends from work as well as with the friends we've made in the Nest.  Why just a month or so ago, Lani and I were talking on the phone and wondering why we hadn't seen any activity in several days on Facebook from one of our clinic co-workers.  A day or two after our conversation I read a notice from the co-worker on Facebook that her mother had died over the weekend and that's why she hadn't been online.  I immediately called Lani and left a message on her machine telling her to look at the girl's notice on Facebook.  A while later, Lani called me back after she had checked out Facebook and we discussed how sad it was that the girl's mother died.  I mentioned that I had just seen the co-worker and her mother in the grocery store about a week or so before and, although I knew the mother had health problems, she looked absolutely fine so we were sure her passing was sudden and unexpected.  Lani and I both left comments for the co-worker on Facebook.  I wrote that I was very sorry to hear the news and asked if there was anything I could do to help.  Lani gave her condolences on the passing of her mother.  The following day, there was an additional comment directed at Lani from another co-worker.  The comment was, "Monitor, Lani.  MONITOR."  Lani called me to bring the comment to my attention as she didn't know what the problem was about what she wrote that should have been monitored.  I re-read her condolences and couldn't figure out the problem either.  We discussed it for quite a while and then I realized the error.  Looking again at the original post, I realized that it wasn't the girl's mother who had died, it was her monitor that died!  I shared my revelation with Lani, who replied something to the effect that she didn't know the girl had a monitor but people get very attached to their pets, even lizards (thinking it was a Monitor Lizard that died).  At this point, I'm starting to laugh and saying, I think it was her computer monitor, not a lizard or her mother!  We laughed and laughed about our misunderstanding and we still find it amazing that we both read "mother" instead of "monitor".  It wasn't just us, either.  One of the veterinarians who read it also thought the girl's mother had died.  Ah, you gotta love this new world of ours with all these advanced communications.

Why God Made Mom's

by Jodi

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
 1.  She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
 2.  Mostly to clean the house.
 3.  To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
 1.  He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
 2.  Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring..
 3.  God made my mom just the same like he made me.  He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
 1.  God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
 2.  They had to get their start from men's bones.  Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
 1.  We're related.
 2.  God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mom?
 1.  My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
 2.  I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
 3.  They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
 1.  His last name.
 2.  She had to know his background.  Like is he a crook?  Does he get drunk on beer?
 3.  Does he make at least $800 a year?  Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
 1.  My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world.  And my mom eats a lot
 2..  She got too old to do anything else with him.
 3.  My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
 1.  Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball..
 2.  Mom..  You can tell by room inspection.  She sees the stuff under the bed.
 3.  I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
 1.  Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
 2.  Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
 3.  Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you    want to sleep over at your friends.
 4.  Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
 1.  Mothers don't do spare time.
 2.  To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long...

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
 1.  On the inside she's already perfect.  Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
 2.  Diet.  You know, her hair.  I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
 1.  She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.  I'd get rid of that.
 2.  I'd make my mom smarter.  Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
 3.  I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

~ Thriller ~

by Tina~in_ut

Everyone got tired of listening to my Glee CD's so I put the other CD's I got for Christmas into my car CD player.  I won't freak you out with my Christmas CD, but the other two are Michael Jackson's This is It.  I tried to pick my favorite song, but there are so many.  I had forgotten that the video for Thriller is like a mini film.  Enjoy~