~ Size Really Doesn't Matter ~

By Tina~in_ut, Dianne_in_Denver, and Maureen

Tina~

When I got married, I weighed 121 lbs. I thought I was a little overweight. My tummy was a little pudgy. Hubby liked me the way I was, so I didn't do much about it. When I got pregnant the first time, I ate like there was no tomorrow. I got up to 153 lbs at my heaviest. It took me two years to lose the weight, but I think it was because of the stress of moving to another state and building a new house. When I got pregnant with the twins, I was 156 lbs at my heaviest. I was on bedrest for over 3 months, in the hospital for 3 weeks, and forced to eat tons of food daily. I'm not even joking about that. A nurse came to tell me that I wasn't eating enough for the kids and I needed to add snacks in between meals. I followed every meal with a maalox chaser. It was the only way I could get all the food in that they wanted me to eat!

After the twins were born, I had no muscle tone. I couldn't walk very far without getting tired. I was tired anyway after staying up with the kids all night long. And I was constantly hungry. I was 143 lbs after giving birth, but within a month, I was back to 156 lbs because I kept up my eating habits. The only problem was, since I was constantly on the go, the "stuff" I was putting in my mouth was junk food.

As the years went by, I stayed pretty constant at around 155 lbs. I was never one for exercise and my idea of fun was sitting down to read a book or scrapbook. I've always been all right with that because right after my first child was born, my hubby's great uncle took one look at me and said that I finally looked healthy to him. He said that he always thought I was too thin, especially since I am 5' 8". I think that was the first time I really accepted the fact that I didn't need to get back to my 121 lb self.

A couple of years ago, I noticed that my clothes weren't fitting like they used to. I really thought that hubby had shrunk my clothes in the dryer! (That would have been a mean feat since I don't let him touch the laundry!!!!!) I started weighing myself and "magically" I had gained over 10 lbs. Last December, I gained more. I didn't think anything about me had changed. I still ate the same and still didn't exercise. I still worked the same job......sitting all day long. The only thing I can think of now that may have caused the weight gain was the fact that I was upset about a couple of things in my life, and when I get upset, I eat junk. The funny thing was, I didn't care. Hubby, and even my father, commented on my weight gain....and not too nicely, I might add! Once, my dad made the mistake of commenting during "that time of the month!" Not a good thing to do to someone who is PMS'ing!!! He and my mom have been trying to get me to stop drinking my Diet Pepsi's as well, to no avail. I've always told them, I'm not ready and left it at that.

Six weeks ago, I came home from Denver with the flu. After day 2, I started to get that headache you get when coming off caffeine. I thought that maybe since I was already going through the pain of that, and a DP didn't sound good at all, that I would try to give it up. When I decided that, I thought maybe if I could do that, I could try eating right and exercising. I've lost 9 lbs since then. The important thing is, I'm doing it because I want to do it and not because someone is telling me to or shaming me into it. It's my decision and if I decide to stop, or I just give up, that's my decision as well. I'm happy with who I am. It shouldn't matter if I'm 100 lbs of funny or 200 lbs of funny!!!!

Dianne~

When I was a child, I was a normal active person. I was tall (5'10") and life moved along. I came from a big, not heavy, family so my height probably ate up the weight. As I married and had my first child, my weight "blossomed", so I did the normal diets, and then I had my second child and I "blossomed" again. Time marched on and my weight went up and down. I, like most people, always wanted and tried to lose weight and did the yo-yo thing.

I find that I am now at my highest weight. I have had a lot of health issues over the last few years. I have been on oxygen and had knee replacement and have always had leg issues from a car accident many years ago. As I get older and since I am not as healthy, it is hard to be an active person. If I try and walk far, I can't breathe, my knee/leg hurts and then my back hurts. It becomes a very vicious circle and it sounds like (and probably is) a lot of excuses. I can't exercise because of my problems and I need to exercise because of my problems.

I thought when I retired I would really lose weight without all those morning donuts, the daily lunch that we NEVER could miss, snacks in the afternoon and then dinner. I now sleep late, am not a snacker, and usually eat one meal a day. Now I will not say this is a healthy life-style, but I take in so many less calories and I have still gained weight. You would think, at the very least, that I would have stayed the same!!!

I don't hear many people very pleased about their size from my DIL at size 3 to larger sized people. I had to laugh today as MARY was saying what a young face I have and she thought I was younger than she is now. I am one year older, but explained to her that when you are heavy you usually don't have wrinkles at my age...double/triple chins maybe, but hell, no wrinkles. I am who I am: a fun, happy night owl.


Maureen~

My name is Maureen and some of you know me as a piggy girl! The truth of the matter is I AM a piggy girl! I am fat. Not chubby. Not pleasingly plump. Not pudgy. FAT. FAT. FAT. And I don't care. Love me...love my fat. A wise owl told me once that it doesn't matter what I look like because she knows me from the inside...not from the outside. Sandie, I will always remember that! I was always fat. As a child, teen and adult. I was tormented as a kid. BUDDHA. FATSO. PIG. Even then I didn't care. I love food. I love the taste, the smells, the creativity that goes with cooking, the social aspects, the comfort of it. I also could hide behind the fat. I didn't have to take responsibility for things...they didn't happen due to anything I did...it happened because I was fat.

When I met a gorgeous man, Bill, I was fat. I couldn't really understand why he wanted to be with me. But he did. Not long after we met, I wanted to lose weight. I wanted to be the best looking girlfriend I could be. I joined NutriSystem. One of the kindest and most loving things he ever said to me was that he hoped I wasn't doing it for him, as he loved me the way I was, but that I was doing it for me. I ended up losing 60 pounds going from a 16 to an 8...and we broke up! I think he was actually threatened by the attention I got.

I have been thin. A few times! Never skinny, but thin and rather sexy! Cute figure, cute clothes, good hair, great sense of humor...what more could anyone want? LOL!! I did enjoy the cat calls, the hoots, the hollas...the reflection in the mirror. But the love of food won out. I have owned clothes in every size...8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 18 and 20. I called them my thin, not as thin, not as fat, fat, oopsies, holy cow and oh shit sizes! I won't divulge my current size except to say it isn't a 20 nor is it an 8! I still have the 10's and up...maybe someday I will wear them again. Or maybe not!

When I became unemployed a couple of years ago, I was a 10/12. Then my savings thinned out and my waistline grew...and grew...and grew. I found I could eat cheaper if I ate unhealthy. A pound of bologna cost $2.99 and a loaf of bread was $.85...lunch and dinner for a week for under $4...YIPPEE! And it was mighty tasty. Then I got a job where I sit. All day...everyday. Even though I have given up the bologna (haven't had it since I went back to work) I still am FAT. I do eat better, but not good enough. And I don't seem to care. I seem to be content...fat. Not content with my life, but content with my fatness.

They say size doesn't matter...OH HELL TO THE YEAH it does!! But not regarding my current size...