Funnies for a Thursday

by Maureen

Another in box of funnies, Enjoy!

1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called ...... "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and Your boss: The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning: One brilliant flash and it's gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

9 My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.

10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid.

11. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment...for enjoying sex.

12. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

by cpgem8

Number 12, had me thinking, if the person sliding down the banister is someone of the caliber of Kayne West, then I say, let the splinters point the right way! HA!

Number 6, tried it, broke the seat, and had popcorn stuck in my ass for two days! Sex in the movies is def not for a Lane Bryant Wannabe Diva!