Garbage Day

by Just_Lin

It's Sunday night and I just remembered that I have to get my garbage can out to the curb for early morning pick up. Monday is Garbage Day. Agh! I often feel annoyed at our garbage company. It costs me $92 every two months to have one 45 gallon garbage can emptied. If I put no can out for pick up, I am still charged. If I put an extra can or bag out for pick up, I am then charged extra. For any large items, I must call ahead to make special arrangements for pick up and, you guessed it, I am charged big time for that. Although it will probably be raining in the morning, I don't expect it to be anything like last Monday.

I awoke to the sounds of pounding, heavy rains and the roar of the gusting winds as they tore through the trees on the mountainside. The garbage trucks had already come by and, in spite of all the noise from the storm, I could still hear the dreaded sound of my trash can being blown over and then swept along the asphalt as the winds pushed it up the street. I flew out of bed, throwing on my robe, then an oversized man's fleece jacket on top of that, and jammed my feet into my cowboy boots. The look was only accented by my "bed head", with the overall effect being that I am a woman who doesn't quite have all her faculties. I hurried through the house and into the adjoining garage and pushed open the garage door.

It was raining sheets of water which were being blown sideways. Small tree branches were strewn across the lawn, sidewalk and street. I could see my elderly neighbor, who was using a walker due to knee surgery, very slowly working his way over to his garbage can which was across the street. Fortunately, he only had a few feet to go and his can wasn't moving anymore because it had been blown up against a parked car. I finally spotted my own garbage can. It was across the street and up a couple of houses. The lid was not in sight and I was really hoping the garbage man had stuffed the lid down inside the can, like they sometimes do in good weather. I lowered my head and went into the storm to retrieve my garbage can. It was, literally, like buckets of water were being thrown on me.....hard. If I wasn't fully awake before, I definitely was now. I reached the trash can and pulled it back to the shelter of my garage. Water was dripping off of me as if I'd just stepped out of a pool. I looked inside the can. Damn! There was no lid inside but they did manage to leave one small bag of garbage at the very bottom. I knew immediately what it was.....the body of a dead rat that I had trapped out back a week ago. Crap! Double crap!!

As I stood in the doorway of the garage, the winds intensified even more, really showing their full power. I was surprised that I didn't see any roof shingles flying past me, or the witch from The Wizard of Oz, for that matter. I spotted my trash can lid across the street, trapped between two cars that were parked very close to each other. I ventured out into the storm once again, squeezing between the bumpers of the cars as more buckets of water were being blown into my face. When I got back to the garage with the lid, I briefly thought that I could now get a much needed cup of coffee.....but then I remembered......I was missing a bungee cord I had placed across the top of the can lid to prevent the raccoons from getting into the garbage. I went back out to the curb and just stood in the heavy rain for a moment. What the hell? I couldn't possibly get any more drenched than I already was. I just stood there and scanned the street until I saw it. It was laying next to the rushing water in the gutter in front of my neighbor's house. Once I had that, I could finally come in out of the rain.

Oh, yes, I better go put that garbage can out by the curb now before I forget. Garbage Day! What a pain in the ass!