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Friday, March 5, 2010

Cruise Ship vs Nursing Home

by Dianne

I remember seeing this joke long ago, so I thought I would google it and surprisingly (for me) I found it. I think it says exactly what I am thinking right now. I hope this gives you all a laugh even if you have read it before...what do you all think....? Want to join me down the road?

Cruise Ship vs Nursing Home


About a week ago my husband and I were on a cruise through the western Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room. I also noticed that all the staff, ships officers, waiters, busboys, etc., all seemed very familiar with this lady. I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told that she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back to back. As we left the dining room one evening, I caught her eye and stopped to say hello.

We chatted and I said,"I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises". She replied, "Yes, that's true." I stated, "I don't understand" and she replied, without a pause, "It's cheaper than a nursing home".

So, there will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:

1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.
2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week).
3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.
4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.
7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.
8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.
9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare;
if you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
Now hold on for the best!
Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go? Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.

PS. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side
at no charge.

86 comments:

  1. Very funny Dianne!!

    You know I have read about a couple of ships that are nothing but spacious homes and your address is the world.......they circle the globe constantly so you can have a view of Hong Kong from Victoria Harbor one day and on the coast of Vietnam the next!!!

    here is "The World" actually....

    http://www.aboardtheworld.com/

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  2. I do love how they treat you on a cruise ship. I bet the crew is a lot cuter than nursing home staff, too.

    Now that it is quiet, I am going back to bed. Bbl

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  3. Morning.. Dee and J/L..

    I can't stay or even read the blog, but I will read it tonite..

    I have a busy day..

    Still laughing @ last nite, Mo to Jen.. "jump dem bones" cracked me up... so of course I used it for QOTD..

    I read some comments from last nite, and they all seem positive, so on we go..

    Have a good day everyone.. Waving!

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  4. btw.. is anyone else seeing really big font on the beginning of the blog.. Wow! at least it woke me up!

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  5. I saw that font, and raise it 20! LOL!

    Dianne, what a great idea! And it really beats my late friend Bill Davis' plan, which was to commit a serious felony so the government would have to provide him free room, board, and meals for the rest of his life!

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  6. Hi there sweet hooters!
    What a great discussion yesterday about our blogging. I for one don't Want to see it go away. I would be lost without you ALL!!
    FB keeps me in touch, but I count on our little discussions in here. It is the only place my "regular"friends & family don't hang out.
    We should have a weekly blog, kinda like "Whabby Wednesdays" and just go off & on the subject as we please. I know sometimes I want to comment on area 51 cuz I thought of something a day or two later. Am I confusing you lol!!!
    Gottah go. This is my last day here in Florida. We are heading out bbl...Love yah all!!!

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  7. Wow...the text is reallllly big. I don't know why as it wasn't like that when I sent it but who know how it comes across. We can't ask TINA right now as she is off today and I am sure sleeping.

    AREA 51: JODI, it was so nice to see you on the blog last night and handing out those donuts and snacks. I have missed you a lot of here so don't be a stranger any more...please.

    CAROL AND TINA: It looks like my whoop-ass brought many of us out. It was so nice to see so many comments, some marching and some owls we haven't heard from for awhile. It made my heart feel good and hopefully gave you that same feeling. It is obvious how many of us appreciate you both and want this blog to continue. I guess we all (me included) just need a kick in the pants once in a while

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  8. BEAR: I think it would be much better to be on a cruise ship than in jail. Better tell you friend before he commits a crime....

    DEEDEE: Want to join me in a few years? Maybe you can get us on the Queen Mary....I heard that is better than Carnival. lol

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  9. DIANNE - That most certainly would be the life!! Sadly, the assisted living facility that my Grandma has been in for 4 years can no longer care for her. She is being moved to Hospice on Monday morning. $8,500 a month!!! Holy shit!!! But I know in my heart that her time is limited and that she will have the best care possible.

    DEEDEE - What a beautiful way to live. If you need a companion...I would soooooooo be there!!!

    SLIN - Hopefully you can get some rest. It was great to talk to you yesterday. Hang in there pretty lady ♥

    CAROL - I hope your busy day goes fast!! Waving @ you from WESconsin!!

    WHABBY - Not such a bad idea, but holy crap....not sure if I would want to be someone's "bitch". ;)

    MARY - Safe travels.....♥

    DIANNE - Not any stranger than most....really!!!

    From area 51.....ZONA - get your sweet ass better!!! SWAK!!

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  10. well that was the most embarrassing font EVER!!!! I fixed it....and i have no idea where it came from....prolly the website ya got it from Di~

    DeeDee~ congrats on prettiest~ I'm sure it was the spackle~ :D mwah~

    Di~ The other day, when you said something about your cruise, I thought of this joke! It would be so much fun to do this! I love to travel~

    I think I'm exhausted....I just read that J/L pet the crew!

    Good Morning Carol, Bear, Mary, and Jodi~

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  11. Tina. I've definitely seen some crew members I wouldn't mind petting or having them pet me. I wonder if that requires an upgrade. LOL

    I guess I should drag my ass into the shower.

    Zona. I hope you get better soon.

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  12. DIANNE: Sounds perfect..well, except that I'm kinda afraid of sailing on a big boat in the middle of a VERY big ocean. Freaks me out a little bit. Love the PS though..as long as they're sure that is.. ;)

    DEEDEE: Congrats on BAM! FIRST! PRETTIEST! :D

    CAROL: Better really big than really small..font that is.. ;)

    MARY: Not confusing at all! Have a safe trip!

    JODI: I'm trying..I'm trying. :)

    TINA: LOL @ Pet the crew..not a bad idea.. ;)

    BEAR: My aunt said the same thing as your friend Bill did..thankfully she never went through with it!! :D

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  13. J/L: I know you're probably up again already..so I'll just wish you sweet dreams for tomorrow.. :)

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  14. Zona. Oh, yeah, I'm definitely up again. I just started doing a load of wash...little kid clothes. Wasn't I doing this stuff 30 years ago?

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  15. Back from a fun filled day. I have to get up at 3:30 am to catch my flight back to Mich. EGADS! I am a night owl!!

    DeeDee, I would love to retire on board ship! Especially if it traveled around the world. I could have a cabana boy in every port! Mr Mary might object though lol!!

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  16. I think I might have to pass on the cruise ship. I'm so not a fan of water, in fact it scares the hell out of me.

    I don't even want to think of a nursing home they suck the money right out of you.

    I say we get our own retirement owl pad!

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  17. Well you glories had my heart palpatating after reading yesterdays comments. Carol noooooooo! This is my sanity to stop here and see that everyone is still alive and kicking. I agree we don't need a new topic everyday! I think just when an owl sends one in or you have something you want to blog about!

    Let me tell you I have been in withdrawl this afternoon. My computer is toast! So it will be a couple of day before I get a new one. I am ordering one on line. The first place I checked in was here. Not FB Here.

    I even had to goole the name of the blog because it is on my favorite list and I could not remember the freaking web address. Almost panicked on that one.

    Yes Mo my kidneys and bladder or clear and normal. But my freaking heart is getting a work out because of the computer issues.

    PS if any of you have AIM AOL Instant Messanger that is how this virus got in and it took down my whole operating system on my computer. Disconnected every fucking thing. If you don't use IM I would recommend shutting it off on your FB. I am when I get my new computer.

    I will check in when I can until I get it.

    I freaking love this group and I need you for my sanity.

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  18. Jennifer I am so sorry about what is going on with Dean's job that makes my issues seem so small in comparison. ((((Hugs))))

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  19. Dianne while that sounds like it might be great I am with Jennifer. I kept thinking it would be all fun and games until it was the TITANIC! lol

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  20. Congrats on first DeeDee!

    I read the blog at work but didn't comment. I have never cruised so I don't know how I would like it but then again, I have never lived in a nursing home either and I probably wouldn't like that.

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  21. Did anyone see the you tube videos of the wave coming on board that one cruise ship a few days ago? That was freaky!

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  22. DIANNE...priceless!! What a great idea to retire aboard a cruise ship. They even have medical staff on board! Thanks for the blog!

    LYNN...Sux about your 'puter. But glad your kidneys and bladder are a-ok!

    CAROL...so funny! Didn't Jennifer use to offer up Dean as a prize for getting 25 or 69 or something?

    JUST LIN...washing kiddie clothes? Put your son to work! Male hands can turn the knobs on the washer, too!!!

    MARY...safe travels back home.

    ZONA...feel better, damn it!

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  23. Ok,I know I haven't been a good owl or friend these last few weeks so I will just take myself over to the naughty mat and sit for awhile.

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  24. SHIRLEY! Good to see you! So the Tax Monster spit you up for a bit? I know he's been chewing on you for weeks now!

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  25. All I have to say for myself is that I am sorry and will try to do better in the future.

    Now I need to go to bed cause I have to work at 8 in the morning.

    Nighty night owls!!!! Don't ever leave me. I need you all. (((HUGS)))

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  26. I can't wait till April 15th when that stupid voracious monster goes back in to his hole.

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  27. Hi Bebbi! Yes it has been a very hectic and long week. Anywhere from 9-11 hour days. Not even time to eat a sandwich some days until 2 or 3 in the afternoon. But it's a job and I like the work...not the hour, but the work!

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  28. Our tax season doesn't end until April 30th.

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  29. I feel for you Shirley..and yes, I understand, it is good to have the work for sure. HUGS...and don't worry..I am keeping Tina and Carol pumping out those blogs so you can come back and feed us your wonderful feasts someday. ;)

    Okay, they are gonna give me heck for taking the credit but hey..somebody's gotta keep on those two, if you know what i mean...

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  30. I wondered about that, if Canada was the same or not. Ohh, so then you have another couple of months to be so busy. Keep taking your vitamins and take care of yourself. :)

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  31. ATTN: CAROL'S POSSE: I WAS JUST KIDDING...please do not send me or Carol hate mail ...just kidding..kay?

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  32. Mary: I feel for you having to get up at 3:30 a.m. I have to get up real early on Sunday (5:30 a.m.) to take my daughter and her boyfriend to the airport. They are going to Key West for Spring Break. And, they don't want me to come..what is wrong with young adults these days?

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  33. SHIRLEY...We will never leave you...we need YOU, too.

    I wrote a blog and just sent it to
    Carol. I'm trying, really I am!

    BEBBI...can't imagine why the kids don't want the mom along!!

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  34. EBJ...if you're reading...

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hope you are having a magically delicious day!

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  35. Good Eeeven-ing Owls. I hope you all had a good day.

    Di, I remember reading this a while back and thinking it might be a good idea, then I heard about someone falling or getting thrown overboard and decided I wasn't crazy about the idea. I think it was a Dateline story and it's still a mystery how it happened. I think I'll just stay on terra firma.

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  36. Jennifer, An Owl retirement pad is an excellent idea.

    Mo, I think it was Carol that offered up Dean as a prize for marching.

    Zona, Did you call the advice nurse today??? hmmmmmmm???

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  37. SACBARB...Hi! How are things in Sac?

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  38. Bebbi~ I can't wait for Chicago....so I can kick ur butt!!! :)~

    Jennifer and Sacky~ We already have an owl retirement pad....DeeDee's casa~ :D (shhhhh....dont tell her...we may have to sneak in....but once there....she won't even know we're there!) :)~

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  39. Mo: Me either, a total mystery to me.


    EBJ: Happy BDAY!

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  40. Tina: Watch that backtalk now young lady and get back on that blog writing..STAT.

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  41. honey....i've got blogs coming outta my ears!!!~~

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  42. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  43. Oh yes, I am experienced in Cracking the Whip. Boy, I could tell you some stories about that..ask me in Chicago!

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  44. I always thought that was something else coming out, didn't know it was blogs.

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  45. Dianne: Um, I'd love to, but...

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  46. Whabby, isn't your friend no longer with us?
    No butt kickin' Diane ijs :)

    I am packed (kinda). I seem to have more stuff to pack! How did that happen?

    Tina, u r welcome for the "MINGO" lol!

    Bebbi, you are just a fun bowl of bubbles today lol!

    Shirley,hang in there! We will be here when the "tax dust" has settled.I do miss your funtastic food!

    Hi MO, Carol,Diane, Jodi, Zona,JustLin,LynnD & SacBarb!

    Happy Birthday EBJ!!!

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  47. Mary: I have never been a fun bowl of bubbles before. I really like that! Thank you! :) I tell ya, I am getting giddy excited about Chicago! It's going to be a rough couple of months. I am SUPER EXCITED.

    And, just ask the hubby..it sometimes is just not a good idea to get me too excited (can you say--highstrung?).

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  48. Shirley: My wish..is that I could come whisk you away to Chicago on April 30th! We are going to have to find a program and do a video cam for Shirley with all of us in it..now someone here has to have a really spiff laptop that has all the bells and whistles. If not, I bet my daughter will let me borrow the hot pink Dell with webcam that she has. That would be a site for Shirley's eyes..all the Owls hooting it up in Chi-town. haha.

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  49. talking to tina on FB..and distracting her...going in for the 69

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  50. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...that felt good.

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  51. there's a word for girls like you....and the day after Easter...I'm going to call you it!!!~

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  52. lol..okay..that made me tired..I am going to bed. I have to get up and meet my daughter at the gym at 9 a.m. for our workout. Goodnight all..take care and sweet dreams.

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  53. Mo, Sac is kinda soggy, but the sun did come out this afternoon.

    Tina, good to know we have a retirement pad. Is it equiped with cabana boys?

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  54. Goodnight, Bebbi~

    Sacky~ We'll only get the cabana boys after she's done with them~

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  55. Tina, That's OK. Maybe she'll teach them something we don't know.

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  56. Dianne..

    "Cheaper than a nursing home"

    lmao..

    So funny..

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  57. Tina..

    So u noticed the font to? lol

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  58. I read all the comments.. you guys cracked me up.. I can't remember all to reply to cause my mind is mush..

    but I do remember Lynn's "my computer is toast" LMAO.. would like some butter with that! LMAO

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  59. Shirley...

    We could never leave you..♥♥

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  60. Shirley..

    We should look into skype.. so when we are in ORD, we can skype you.. I don't have a laptop but I am sure someone will bring one..

    That would be fun...

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  61. Mo.. got ur blog and got one from Bebbi to..

    Thank You!

    Now give me some bacon!!!!!

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  62. Whabby..

    "I saw that font and raise you 20"

    Oh my.. LOL, LOL, LOL..

    :O)

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  63. Bebbi.. and Mo..

    You both have a e-mail from me..

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  64. I am off to bed..

    c u all tomorrow..

    :O)

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  65. It is wonderful to come on here and see so many comments again to see some people we haven't seen for awhile....yea!!! CAROL, I hope all the comments made you feel better and realize that everyone still wants this blog and can change but needs the stability of it.

    TINA: I went to OG for dinner tonight....it was so yummy but I didn't have your favorite cake. We had to wait 45 min for a table but got a seat at the bar so we were lucky.

    Well,I am sticking with the cruise. I am having after cruise itus missing it and thinking about what I was doing this time last week.

    I will be posting pictures as soon as I learn how, which will be soon. I just used my Cool Pix camera for the first time and have had it a very long time.

    Forgot to say congrat to DeeDee on first..you are so beautiful.

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  66. I really love cruising. I find it to be totally fun. What a great fantasy to have the money and ability to cruise the world. I am a bit of a picky eater so having a cruise ship to have meals on while in a port where some of the food may not be readily identifiable works for me.

    MO For now, I seem to be doing a lot of "mommy" type chores. We really don't have everything settled into a routine yet and his custody of the kids is temporary right now. There is a hearing on the 19th and then we will know what is what at that time.

    EBJ I hope you had a wonderful birthday! (((HUGS)))

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  67. Good morning HOoters!! Heading out the door. Sam is competing in the District Solo & Ensemble Competition today. She is doing a solo this morning and a quartet this afternoon. I'll be back later with how she did!!!

    I hope everyone has a great Saturday ♥

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