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Friday, April 16, 2010

Choices of Others

I heard a story yesterday that saddened me, more for the outcome, but also for the decisions some people make.

A young lady, age 38, is diagnosed with breast cancer. She found the lump on her own and went to the doctor. After many tests the news was given to her. The cancer specialist suggested chemo, radiation etc, and if that did not work being the cancer was contained a mastectomy. For reasons of her own she went with the holistic method, taking vitamins, certain drinks, eating organic and attending different venues in different countries that specialize in holistic medicine. Unfortunately this holistic method did not work, she passed away in Mexico while attending a holistic treatment. If I remember the story correctly this all happen within a 6 to 8 month period.

I asked her cousin (who was telling me the story) why? Which after I asked it I knew the answer. If this is what she wanted her treatment to be who are we to question, after all it is her body, her life.

I guess what bothered me the most is, if she did not want to go thru the chemo, then why not have the mastectomy. If it would save her life (or prolong it), why would there be any question. I am sure the doctors went over with her the chances of it coming back, and perhaps the odds were so so, but if it was contained, then to me it would be worth losing apart of my physical being.  I would say cut them off, toss the ugliness that is know as cancer, and give me life.

39 comments:

  1. darn it...I was writing a comment in Area 51 to Tina and missed my opportunity..drat..Congrats most beautiful DeeDee.

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  2. Happy Birthday LynnD...okay..be back way later.

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  3. CAROL - I will always support a person's choice. ALWAYS!! I am dealing with similar issues with my Dad and my brother. Maybe it is a good thing I am his healthcare power of attorney. My brother is having a much harder time accepting all of my Dad's choices. Just because he doesn't agree with them, doesn't mean that they are wrong. PERIOD!!!

    Good morning DEE DEE - Good grief....who you humping?

    BEBBI....Hoping you have a great day!!

    LYNN - Happy Birthday!!!

    I hope everyone has a good day. I'm off to make my "double red" donation at the Red Cross ♥

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  4. p.s. GOLDIE....I'm making potato salad this afternoon....;)

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  5. Holistic medicine is an interesting subject to me Carol....

    People take many different approaches to treatment. Some things work for some that when tried by others they don't.

    For the woman in your article...my first thought is that she was doomed from the beginning with things happening so quickly...

    My friend that I have spoken of with ovarian cancer has a very good sense of judgement regarding her treatment. After her diagnosis in 2002 she did 6 months of chemo as per her doctors suggestion....and then she said....thats the last time I'll do that!

    At the time the prognosis was 3-5 years......well next month...8 years will have passed.....and although the doctors gave her "maybe" 6 months about 8 months ago....she continues to defy the doctors predictions....and I know that with her cancers progress that it can't be too much longer.....she has been the decision maker and hasn't chosen to do anything that would fight the cancer but deminish her quality of life.....

    My point is that everyone makes their own decisions when faced with life and death situations....or quality of life...and death situations....

    I am pretty positive that I would be with you on the breast cancer issue......REMOVE THEM!! Because I want to live!

    When my heart needed work there was no hesitation to crack open my sternum and make the necessary repairs....but it wasn't cancer...it was simply getting new parts and once you endure the recovery...its over.

    I would hope that I would make the best decisions regarding cancer treatment....but I agree with Rosie O when she says...there are no mistakes.....

    And holistic medicine is fantastic in many ways...but I think it is most beneficial with a combination of traditional medicine...

    85% traditional...15% Holistic.....

    I mean hell! You don't get in touch with your spirituality and eat some herbs to deal with a malignant lump in your breast!!!

    Ok Carol....I think I am awake now and am finally understanding your frustration...

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  6. Hi Jodi and Bebbi!!

    Jodi...thats Tina when she was a teenager....Whew! The mouth on that girl!!
    I was just attempting to adjust her attitude.....

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  7. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LYNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Hail to the might pretty one..

    Jodi~~~you know where I live! lol

    Hmm, I agree that I would support any decision a loved one made. I supported the fact that my dad wanted NO heroic measures to save his life (thru multiple surgeries).

    My Mother has told me that if she has cancer she will not do chemo. Her brother did- suffered from it greatly- and died anyway soon after.

    I have an old friend who had cancer when she was 19 (Hodgkins). She battled and won. Then at about age 40 she got breast cancer. She choose to have BOTH breasts removed. she is doing great...

    I think my bottom line is that we don't have to understand someones choices, or agree with them- but we do have to respect them. Until it is your own body and your life, you have no right to judge.

    Hope you all have a wonderful day!

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  8. Happy Birthday LynnD.. hope you have a great day..

    I have a client @ my desk.. so funny, they think I am looking up flights..

    I will be back..

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  9. Morning Glories!

    Ummm Deedee are you choking the shit out of someone this morning? How lovely you look.

    Thank you every one for the B-Day wishes!!!

    Carol I know it seems crazy but I agree with everyone else. We have to respect the choices made as it is their body and their decision.

    Personally I would have them cut off! You can always buy a padded bra.

    Truthfully what works for one person does not always work for another. You can only go with what you think will work for you.

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  10. CAROL - Have fun "looking up flights"!!! :O)

    GOLDIE - Yes I do....not sure if I will have any extras this time. Sorry!!!

    LYNN - Enjoy your day. I hope you have some "me" time scheduled for yourself ♥

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  11. So I got all the way to my appointment, and evidentally I'm running a slight fever and they wouldn't take my blood. I rescheduled for Monday. Good grief!! I feel fine....thought it was just another hot flash :P

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  12. DeeDee~ I'd tell you ur pretty, but lying is a sin, and I don't sin~ :)~

    Bebbi~ ha!~

    Jodi~ ur hot~

    Goldie~ Never "hail" her~ EVER~ ugh~

    LynnD~ Happy Birthday, old one~ :D

    Carol~ ya can't fault anyone their choices....everyone has different situations....personally, I'd lop them off (of course, no one would notice), but it's cuz I'd want to be around to see my kids go to jail one day~ :D

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  13. who knew a volcano erupting in Iceland could cause so much trouble~ :)~

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  14. TINA - I thought of you when I heard about that. Something like over 4,000 flights canceled? WTC!!!

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  15. ash man.....too much ash over Europe~

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  16. Just kidding Tina....you know who it is....lol!! In "the avatar" I mean....

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  17. Ass over Europe??? What the heck are you talking about TINA? I'm not remembering if you are at work today or home...your new schedules confuse me...probably confuse you too, huh?

    LYNN: Hope you at least get that whopper you so like on occasion. Have a nice Birthday.

    I agree that we should each be able to make the decisions for our own body but sometimes I think the circumstances come in to play with others. For example: Do you still have children at home to raise, etc. I believe I too would have my boobs cut off. I know it is probably a horribly hard decision but I have know people that have done that and the cancer is gone. I would have to really think about any treatments as I want to see my grandchildren grow up.

    I am a little grouchy today and don't really know why. MrD has been gone to Vail for three days so I can't even blame him. My computer keeps losing service and I don't know how to fix it very well so I even lost some money in FT last night..frustrating. I don't stand or walk very well and went to Ulta this AM and they had one l o n g ass line open and finally opened another one. One lady was doing an exchange...(she thought maybe) and the other line her credit card didn't work and had to find another one and went into the whole friggin' explanation to the clerk. My knees, back and foot was killing me and it was making me get a hot flash trying to stand. So...I was frustrated with the customers and frustrated that I have so much leg issues and frustrated that I had a weight gain this week.
    Whew....ok....got that all out. I rewarded myself (poor old me) with a skinny latte from Starbucks for a million dollars!!!

    DEEDEE: Congrats on first but the picture is very very strange. I know you say it is TINA as a teen but who took the picture----proud mama?

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  18. DeeDee Congrats on being the prettiest in the land today! Are we feeling a bit aggressive today, per chance? Is the Metamucil not working? LOL

    Bebbi You are still beautiful even when you come in 3rd.

    Jodi You are one hot mama. We all knew that. :)

    Goldie I hope you have a wonderful day, too.

    Carol I love that you were faking out your client, making them believe you were working. Ha!

    LynnD I hope you're having an especially nice day today. I hope there will be a whopper involved at some point. :)

    Tina Now I understand what DeeDee's avatar is all about....she's dumping her Easter basket on your head! Bwahahaha!

    Dianne I'm sorry that you were in pain while in line. It is very frustrating to be in line behind someone who has all sorts of issues, even without hurting. I hope you're feeling better now.

    Carol2 It is my understanding that even when you have your breasts removed, chemo is still part of the protocol to make sure the cancer is not hiding unnoticed in other parts of your body. I know two people who went through this recently. Both decided to have both breasts removed since the had previous issues with lumps (one had been benign, the other not). Both had to have chemo, too, besides the surgery. One decided to have reconstructive surgery and the other decided not to as she didn't want to go through any more surgeries. Both of them now have their hair growing back in and are doing great.

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  19. Tina I forgot to say that I LMAO @ you wanting to live to see your kids go to jail! Another Hallmark moment!

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  20. My Mom says she doesn't want chemo if she ever gets cancer. To me, I don't know what I would do if it happened, but I do know that I would want my family's support no matter what path I chose.

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  21. The type of cancer and how advanced would determine what the chemo protocol would be; how much, how often, for how long. Some is harder to deal with than others, however, I would choose to endure it and try to beat it. I would not have faith in holistic methods and would not take the chance with them.

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  22. Hi Everyone!

    CAROL: I'm not sure what I would do..but I agree with everyone else that each person has to make that decision for themselves and I would hope their family would honor it.

    My dad went through chemo for 6 wks before he just couldn't do it anymore. Of course we wanted him to keep fighting, but seeing the way he was suffering..we told him we would support his decision not to go back. My aunt went through a full course of radiation..and went into remission for a year..just long enough to see her two youngest sons get married. When the cancer came back..she refused any more treatment.

    We have a Cancer Treatment Center Of America here in AZ. They use all types of therapy to fight this horrific disease. I think you need a balance of everything..including nutritional help as well as counseling that helps you cope with your diagnosis and prepares you for the fight ahead.

    I honestly don't know if I have that spark you need to be able to fight. I hope I never have to find out.

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  23. I would choose NOT to have treatments OR surgery. I have already thought about this. I don't have a husband or children to worry about and I would hope that my friends would respect my decision and not try to talk me into anything else.

    This woman made a decision for herself. I'm not too sure about all these "natural" remedies out there,but in conjuction with medications who knows. It's all worth a try if you want to.

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  24. Happy Birthday Lynn D!!! I hope you are having a good one!!

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  25. CAROL...I concur with the comments...it's a personal choice that has to be respected. I don't know what I would do. I guess it depends on the diagnosis. As far as holistic healing, I think like JUST LIN said it should be used in conjunction with traditional Western medicine. I know that if I was in a serious state requiring heroic measures to keep me alive as a vegetable, then I don't want them. Put a fork in me, I'm done at that point.

    Oh, and thanks for QOTD!! He really was dreamy!

    LYNN D...I hope your birthday was AWESOME!!

    ZONA...can we have a finger and toe count? LOL!

    HODI...must be very difficult to not only deal with your dad's decisions but with your brother's disapproval of them. {{HUGS}}

    TINA...you're a goof!!

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  26. DEEDEE: I think I see an illegal choke hold..that is providing you're the choker and not the chokee!! ;)

    Congrats on being the prettiest BAMMer around! :D

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY LYNN! I hope you had an awesome day!

    JODI: Maybe it was the Force..ijs.. ;)

    TINA: I didn't even know there were volcanoes in Iceland..I must have slept through that chapter.. ;)

    DIANNE: I hope you've got your feet up tonight and are resting your legs. I hate when my knee is hurting and I have to do the leg to leg shuffle while waiting in line..I always forget to bring the oil can.. ;)

    JODI: I can't wait til the FedEx guy gets here with that delivery from Wisconsin.. ;)

    GOLDIE: Jodi knows where I live first.. :D

    J/LIN: Awww..you couldn't scare anyone away.. :)

    BEBBI: I hope you're having a great Friday night! :)

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  27. MO: All digits intact! For now that is..he still hasn't finished the insulation..and only half the plumbing is done. We were gone most of the day, so he got a late start..I'll definitely keep you informed. I can tell you right now that it's 2X4..12 Mr Z's head..0 ;)

    SHIRLEY: One of my great worries is saddling my family with huge medical bills..that's where my hesitation comes from.

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  28. MO: I should amend that digit count..he's still at 9.5 and 9.5..btw..he laughed his butt off when he heard your question!! :D

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  29. Zona: Thanks, I am and you as well. :) Just vegetating tonight. I love being a couch potato sometimes. :) I did my workout at lunch so I can take it easy tonight. I got 15,591 steps today. :) I will be at Thunder all day tomorrow so I should get a lot of steps. going to do Zumba and work out before I go too.

    Dianne: I agree with Zona, I hope you are taking it easy too.

    Zona..sounds like a lot of work going on at your place!

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  30. Where did the day go.....

    You guys are so smart, you all get A++++++ for great comments, mostly all seem to say, it was her body, her choice and if she was happy with her choice so be it..

    Some don't believe in holistic meds and I agree.. However I read Dee's comment about some holistic and some traditional, I never thought about that, seems to be a good thought.

    Some are hoping to be around to bail there kids out of jail.. which I think is a good thing, cause at least they have someone on their side who is willing to mortgage their home to save their bad kids.

    Some say, just chop them off, or put a fork in me and Enjoy!

    I will end this comment with Goldies words..

    "I think my bottom line is that we don't have to understand someones choices, or agree with them- but we do have to respect them. Until it is your own body and your life, you have no right to judge"

    So true!

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  31. Dianne..

    Hope you feel better.. and btw, I am grumpy to.. :(

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  32. My business partner is going into the hospital this coming monday, to get a bypass on his leg.. He got a cut on his toe back in Nov and it still has not healed.. soooo they are going to keep in the hospital and monitor the blood flow, if the blood is flowing well, he gets to keep his toe, if not, they have to take it off..

    I told him not to worry if they take the toe off, cause at least he will loss some weight from one less toe.. he laughed..

    Its the toe next to the pinky, the doctors say it will not effect his balance at all, and he should be fine..

    If you can all send good thoughts his way, I would appreciate it..

    ♥♥

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  33. I have to go to bed..

    Good nite all..

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