I Didn't Know I Was Dead

by Bonachichi

I have a girlfriend I’ve known since 9^th grade. She was the best friend I’ve ever had.  She left school and we went on with our lives. Some time ago, I heard a hysterical woman screaming, “You’re alive!!” Then I found myself in a bear hug with a woman who seemed familiar to me, but I couldn’t quite place her. It was Cassie (name altered to protect her), and I hadn’t seen her since I was in the 10^th grade.

There was a lot of crying on her part, a lot of reassurance on my part that yes, I was most definitely alive as far as I knew. She said she’d seen my sister about 20 years ago and asked after me. Good ol’ sis told Cassie that I was dead. I never knew this. Over the years, Cassie drove her kids to my childhood home to show her kids where the best friend she ever had had once lived. Cassie is an emotional sort, and I can only imagine the turmoil she must have gone through.

So now that I was officially alive again, we rekindled our friendship. I adored her brother and mother. I don’t remember her dad from back then; only that he’d won some award for a movie with a shark and it intimidated me somewhat. We now spend a lot of time together. Cassie’s Mum used to carry around a can of Lysol and spray people she didn’t like. I never got sprayed and considered that an honor. That woman always made me laugh.

I spend a lot of time with Cassie, her brother and her Mum now. There was just one thing missing and I couldn’t put my finger on it. Not until Mum Cassie sprayed me with Lysol and said, “That’s for making us think you were dead all these years!” That was it. I’m now part of the family. As for my sister, they’ve agreed to pay to have that broomstick surgically removed from her arse if she ever sets foot in California again.

Two questions pop into my mind about this blog. First, is it normal to have a friend who means the world to you? Like the other half of you? And second why would my sister tell people I’m dead? I’ve seen people who don’t get along with their siblings, but not to the point where they tell people their sister is dead. It just seems beyond hurtful, spiteful and frankly, crazy.