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Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Funny Headlines

by Shirley


Kicking Baby Considered To Be Healthy

Rescue Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers

Grandmother Of Eight Makes Hole In One

Two Convicts Evade Noose; Jury Hung

Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25.

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead 

Joint Committee Investigates Marijuana Use 

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax

Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years 

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over . 

Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case 

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

31 comments:

  1. Those are funny Shirley~ Thanks for sending in the blog~ :D

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  2. Tina I can confirm you are a Cheater Cheater Chicken Cheater!!!

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  3. Morning Glories!

    I have been waiting for the new blog post and bam Tina was posted before I could scroll to the comments. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

    Don't mess with me the coffee pot broke this morning and it is putting me in a beyond cranky ass mood.

    Shirley my favorite is " If the Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It may last a while.

    That is a well Duh? What editor approved that Trite headline? lol

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  4. Good morning!!

    I love reading those funny headlines.....that "kicking baby" thing is a hoot!!

    Once again Shirley...you seem to have an "ace in your hole!"

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  5. excuse me...."the hole....THE hole!!"

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  6. Good morning!

    Shirley those were great, a fun way to start the morning!

    Tina I can't add to what everyone said about your blog yesterday... very upsetting that a child is being raised to hate like that.

    It is surprising to me, I guess cause I don't have kids and I assumed that other people raise theirs now days to be accepting and tolerant.

    Did anyone else get a Face Book invite from someone named "Miah Morgan"? I wonder sometimes about these people who I don't know who want to be friends.

    I am off to the dentist in a bit, should be pain free as it is just a follow=up visit.

    Supposed to be in the 90s here today, so we will be in the pool this afternoon.

    We both have the day off, so we have some errands and then get to hang together! Love it.

    Hope everyone has a good day today!

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  7. Tina, you aren't being a "Cheatina" are you? hee hee :)

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  8. Good Morning sexy and all the rest of my dear hooters!!

    tina~from yesterday---- go knock that woman upside the head. How dare she teach that to her children. No, I mean it--literally go knock her upside the head. js

    LOL@your blog Shirley- I'm sure some of them come from our State journal. :)

    Been busy with company, away, dealing with the shoulder I THOUGHT would be all better by now, and work overload.

    So sorry about your pot- I mean coffeepot Lynn, I know how devasting that can be.

    I see you are as quick witted as always DeeDee... :)

    HI EJB!!!!!!!!!

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  9. What? I scared everyone away???

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  10. Tina It's not enough to be prettiest, you want to be sexiest, too?

    LynnD OH, NO! NOT THE COFFEE POT!!!! I hope you at least have some back-up tea. I know it's not the same, kind of like methadone, but should get you through the rough spots until coffee can be made.

    DeeDee Play nice. ;)

    EBJ Hope you enjoy your day off with hubby. How are Poe and Nancy doing?

    Goldie You must be getting very impatient about the shoulder. I know I would be. Hopefully, you'll be fit as a fiddle in no time. I wonder what the hell that means, anyway.

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  11. Good Afternoon!

    SHIRLEY: I love this kind of stuff..keep it coming! My favorite is #5..I want to see that jury and decide for myself.. ;D

    TINA: Sexy too? You're a triple threat today! Pretty, sexy and of course..humble.. ;)

    LYNN: I see you're making your own cawfee on your farm..not taking any chances are you? ;)

    DEEDEE: You always make me laugh.. :D

    EBJ: I've gotten some strange friend requests too..if I don't recognize the name or there aren't any mutual friends I just ignore.

    Good luck at the dentist today..and have fun hangin'!

    GOOOLLLDIIEEE!!: I'm here! There's just so much farming to do in the morning..lol..

    Your shoulder will get there..it just takes time..I know..I know..but it will get better!! :)

    How was your son's birthday? I hope he had a wonderful day!

    MARY: GOOD LUCK with that perfect slot of yours! ;)

    JODI: Any ankles need kicking today? :D

    DIANNE: Are you done yet? ;)

    CAROL: Hope you are doing ok!

    Time to jump in the pool..cannonball!! Oh wait..I do want to leave some water in the pool..better just walk in slowly.. ;)

    Have a good day everyone!!

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  12. HI J/LIN!! You be-bopped in while I was writing my novel.. :D

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  13. I don't like #13..so I'll get us to 14 and then it's time to swim! :)

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  14. Hi J/L and Zonabaaaaaaaaaby!

    No kidding- from todays Brainerd Dispatch police blotter.

    OTHER - At 12:03 a.m. Saturday a man reported his ex-spouse and the mother of his baby was sleeping with an older man. The man was advised that was not a crime.

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  15. Zona, no jumping in here either. Well MR. EBJ does, I have to inch myself in. It is kind of pathetic but I can't just jump!

    We have some cement pillars along 1 side of the pool, and when we have kids here swimming they like to climb up on those and dive in.

    I tell them not to, but you know how kids are!

    JL, Poe and Nancy are fine! Thank you for asking! :)

    I am kind of nervous as we are going to Lake Tahoe for a few days, and have a friend who will be staying here to take care of them.

    I'm sure they'll be fine, but neither of them are used to anyone but us. So I'm sure we will call once (or twice or 3-10 times) a day to see how they are doing.

    I can just see my list to leave her: now when Poe rings his bell or turns his head over, it means he wants a treat.

    He may also just yell COOKIE and then you'll know for sure that he wants a treat, but read his body language and see what he's doing.

    L M A O!

    This may be the first and last time she house sits for us!

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  16. Checking in from Vegas.

    LynnD,Area 51,I am still cracking up from what you told the receptionist!!

    Tina,thanks for NOT writing THAT on my FB pg!!!

    Shirley, those were hilarious!

    Thanks for all the safe travel and good luck wishes everyone. I haven't gambled too much yet. Have to stretch the $$!
    My knee is bothering me and the hot dry air is messing with my nose,,,I know, wah wah wah lol!!

    EBJ,Mr Mary has been worrying about our puppy. We have not been away from her more than a few hrs. my son is watching her and our choc. Lab. I swear it's like leaving a baby lol!

    BBL tonight or sooner if my money runs out lol!

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  17. Very sexy Tina..oh wait, I mean perdy.

    Hello LynnD, DeeDee, EBJ, Goldie, J/L, Kathy and Mary.

    LOL Shirley..great blog! So funny..especially the last one...!

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  18. J/L: Perky me..still, so far so good..hanging in there, trying not to be a big baby about little stuff...not always easy..


    I was just sitting here reading the blog when out of the left corner of my eye I saw something moving up along the top of my desk...it was a SPIDER>..uggh..got a piece of paper and whipped it over there and killed the sucker...went back to reading comments..then realized how crazy that was. haha.

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  19. OK I have to amend my previous post.

    MR. EBJ has a friend over and they are in the pool, and his friend, an adult, just hopped up on one of the pillars and dove into the pool.

    Mary, how many times has MR. MARY called home to check on the puppy?

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  20. Well, I enjoyed the heck out of those headlines, Shirley!

    I spent my last day with my daughter today. Tomorrow she heads back to FL and I head for CA, (sniff).

    EBJ, it's so nice to see you again after your hiatus.

    Hope everyone had a great day!

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  21. Does anyone know when Vig is coming back?

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  22. Good evening Owls! Sorry I'm late getting here. I left early this morning to go into the office, got home around 4:30 and haven't felt really great since. I did send Tina some more blogs though.

    Thanks everyone for yor comments! I liked the one about teenage pregnancy and the enraged cow one too! Lol!!

    And just for you information DeeDee there is nothing in my hole. tyvm.

    Lynn D don't you have a jar of instant coffee as backup? Good grief woman!!

    Carol I hope your week is going ok for you. You probably have lots of work to do. Don't forget yourself. Eat, rest and take some Carol time...a half hour here and there. Go sit in a park, or take a little walk. ((HUGS))

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  23. Maureen sending ((((HUGS)))) your way too!

    Dianne have you finished cleaning yet? ((HUGS))

    Oh what the hell, lets have a group grope and then I'm going to bed!

    Nighty night Owls!!

    Tina you've been claiming pretty and now you want to claim sexy too? Geez!!!

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  24. Good Evening to all..

    Tina.. my my, sexy so very early in the morning..

    Shirley.. lol.. Thanks for the smiles..

    my fav "Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead"

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  25. I came just in time group grope.. Just don't squeeze to hard I just ate a 1/2 bag of popcorn, and it still has not settled yet! :O)

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  26. Shirley..

    Yes, I am doing double the work, that is what is so hard, there is not a break in between.. well except when then printer broke and I had a nervous breakdown for 7 minutes.. but I got it fixed.. and began my day again..

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  27. Bebbi..

    I don't think it was crazy at all.. I hate spiders.. I would have bloody screamed.. and then smoosed the sucker to death! sooo I would have been crazy to..

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  28. Mary..

    I hope you are winning big in Vegas.. and remember "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" sooo go do whatever floats your boat!

    :O)

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  29. EBJ..

    I get unknown friend request's on facebook to.. I just ignore..

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