by Tina~in_ut
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
These totally made me laugh~
ReplyDeleteMoaning Tina! Loved 3,5,7 and 16!! Very funny, thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteMaureen regarding your question from A51, my trip went OK. If my insurance approves (cross your fingers that they do)I can get not only a new mask but also a new and improved CPAP machine and humidifier for a cost to me of $251.00. If approved it would probably be another month before I get everything. In the meantime Carol (the woman I was dealing with)fixed my old mask with a part from a rental. If I get the new machine I will just keep my other one as a backup. I really really hope this works out. It is something a have to have so with the proper forms and letter from my doctor it should, but you never know with insurance companies.
ReplyDeleteAnd we wonder why people have trouble with English. A sadistic people, we are.
ReplyDeleteTina, I know you're alive. Good for Janice on yet another day of not murdering you.
Shirley, good morning and I will keep my fingers crossed regarding your mask. Hopefully you can get the cape and special hat as well. We will have to think of a Super-hero name for you.
Happy whatever-day-it-is to everyone stopping in later!
Oh Bonachichi~ that made Janice and I laugh~ We needed that! We both just had to take 2 hrs of regular phone calls...you know...the general public!!! we just finished....i know it doesn't seem like a lot...but when you haven't done it for such a long time, it's nerve racking~ ...or however you spell that~
ReplyDeleteShirley~ Here's hoping you get ur new crap machine.....(that's how i read it every stinking time!) :D
peeking in..good moaning Tina..and Shirley..and bonachichi! Hope all is well with everyone..
ReplyDeleteHello to all who fly in later. :)
Shirley: I will pray that you get your new machine..and it's all good! :)
ReplyDeleteTina if I DO get a new machine and there is any crap in it I will bag it up and send it to you!!
ReplyDeleteMorning Bonachichi and Bebbi!! Thanks!
LOL at those... I like esplanade and willy nilly the best. :)
ReplyDeletei think testicle is my favorite~ :)~
ReplyDeleteI don't like any of them....and I don't like any of you today...
ReplyDeleteI hope thats ok.....I'll prolly feel differently tomorrow....
But still send me my farmville and island paradise stuff...bananas and school supplies...
bite me....I mean Parenthesis me....
I love you anyway, you pretty little sweetpea~
ReplyDeleteTina, These are so funny. I like willy-nilly and circumvent the best, but they are all very good.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Good moaning with George.
Happy Thong Thursday to all the Owls. I hope you all have a great day.
ReplyDeleteHello Everyone.....TINA: good list...I had never read these anywhere before ..very funny. I like the testicle one too (among others).
ReplyDeleteSooooooo, guess where I am going this afternoon????? The dentist!!!!!! I broke a tooth in half while eating the other night so off I go. I am just hoping to not start any cycle again!
SHIRLEY: I hope you get your new CPAP. The new ones are much more convenient. It would be nice for you to have a back up one too.
DEEDEE: I hope tomorrow is better. I hate days like that and some days I can't stand myself and that is bad.
MRD had a bday yesterday so we went to dinner with my bro and wife. He told me that was all he wanted but I had an album from our cruise made for Father's Day and then forgot to give it to him so he even got a present for his bday.
Hope you all have a good afternoon....and I am off to see a "man about a horse"....I mean my dentist.
Tina. Laughed at every one of those. So funny and clever. Sorry you had to deal with the regular folk today. Not used to eing in the trenches are you?
ReplyDeleteTINA...love them! They were hilarious and I learned some new words!!
ReplyDeleteSHIRLEY...fingers, toes, eyes, arms, legs...crossed for you.
BEBBI...why are you just peeking...come on in and stay a while!
DIANNE...you just can't stay away from your Dentist, can you! Hope it's an easy fix and
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, MR.D!
HODI...HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! How were you able to be married at the age of 7? LOL!!!
TINA - I like 1, 7, and 16!! LOL @ walking with a lisp ;)
ReplyDeleteSHIRLEY - Crossing all I got for you!!
DIANNE - I think I best send some curds....STAT!!
MO - Hardly....lol!!
Waving a wing at BONACHICHI, BEBBI, DEE DEE, BARB AND SLIN!!
Good evening, all. I am watching vid of a UK show called "An Idiot Abroad". It's about a guy who's never left home, traveling round the world. First stop, China. A traditional Chinese massage, involving fire.
ReplyDelete"Don't just tell me it's traditional. Why is she setting me on fire?"
I am going to love this series!
BONACHICHI - Where did you find it to watch? Sounds fabulous!!
ReplyDelete