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Saturday, September 10, 2011

The Magician

by Zona

A magician worked on a cruise ship.
The audience was different each week so the magician did the same show over and over again.

There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the Magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it’s not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" Or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the Captain's parrot.

Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board. The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it ... with the parrot.

They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.

This went on for a day... and then 2 days. And then 3 days. 
Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said...

"OK, I give up. Where's the fuckin' ship?"
at

39 comments:

  1. Lynn DSeptember 10, 2011 at 9:21 AM

    lol!

    Morning glories!

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  2. Shirley(NCC-1701)September 10, 2011 at 9:25 AM

    Splat!

    Ha! That was good Zona!

    Morning Lynn D!

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  3. Lynn DSeptember 10, 2011 at 9:26 AM

    Tinka the earth quake was felt as far away as Seattle. The state workers are checking the Alaskan Way viaduct and the 520 floating bridge to make sure there was no new damage. Part of the infrastructure in WA that needs desperately to be worked on. Some of the sky scrapers were swaying according to people who work in them.

    I did not feel it in my neck of the woods at all.

    Dianne I am feeling better just some ear issues so I will be traveling next week. ;)

    MeeMee I keep hoping the wrongess will put the needs of Americans above their party but I have to say I have my doubts. At this point I do think they will be setting themselves up for major losses if they continue with the plan to make Obama look bad at any cost.

    Waving at all of the Owls to fly in later!!!!

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  4. Lynn DSeptember 10, 2011 at 9:26 AM

    Hi Shirley!

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  5. TinkaSeptember 10, 2011 at 10:27 AM

    Good Morning Lynn - Congrats on being first.
    This earthquake was strange. The shockwaves radiated as far away as Seattle but totally missed Victoria. My daughter said there was very little coverage on the local news because it wasn't felt there. I don't understand how it all works because 6.4 is not a small earth tremour.

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  6. TinkaSeptember 10, 2011 at 10:29 AM

    Good Morning Shirley - Thanks for getting me the earthquake information. Between you and Michael I was well informed.

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  7. TinkaSeptember 10, 2011 at 10:39 AM

    Zona - That's a cute joke. Thanks for the chuckle this morning.

    Are you cooling off?
    We had our hottest day of the summer yesterday, 86 F. and it will be hot this afternoon too. However it cooled off to 55 F. in the night and it is cold enough right now in this 5th wheel to warrant the furnace being turned on. By noon we will have the AC on. We have had the strangest weather this summer.

    Talk to you Monday.

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  8. TinkaSeptember 10, 2011 at 10:40 AM

    Breakfast time. See you all later.

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  9. TinkaSeptember 10, 2011 at 10:40 AM

    9

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  10. AnonymousSeptember 10, 2011 at 10:44 AM

    good morning ladies!!

    Good one Zona! lol

    Lynn...if they don't pass this jobs plan they are going to need bodyguards. People are tired of their crap...

    The president said that some of their differences may require an election....but that the jobless and the country in general doesn't have the luxury of waiting until 2013 for the change congress wants...

    Apparently congress feels that they can stall until they get what THEY want...and to hell with everyone else...

    Congress' approval numbers are at an all time low and people know that the agenda of this congress is to make Obama a one term president...and most are sick of that being put ahead of the country's immediate needs...

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  11. Just_LinSeptember 10, 2011 at 2:20 PM

    Hi,HOoters!

    LynnD You look lovely at first today, even your ears. I'm so glad you are feeling better and will be traveling soon.

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  12. Just_LinSeptember 10, 2011 at 2:20 PM

    Shirley You came in at a close second. I hope you didn't land on Lynn.

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  13. Just_LinSeptember 10, 2011 at 2:24 PM

    Tinka I'm glad you and your family were not bothered by the earthquake. Two days ago they tested out our city's tsunami warning sirens. They work well, I must say.

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  14. Just_LinSeptember 10, 2011 at 2:25 PM

    Michael My sentiments, exactly.

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  15. Shirley(NCC-1701)September 10, 2011 at 2:29 PM

    No Just Lin I think I missed her...I think!
    How are you?

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  16. Just_LinSeptember 10, 2011 at 2:39 PM

    Hi, Shirley. Waving to you all the way over there in Nova Scotia. I'm sure you did miss her. She would have cussed you out, otherwise. ;)

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  17. Just_LinSeptember 10, 2011 at 2:39 PM

    I better check my farms. Now, is that stupid, or what?

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  18. AnonymousSeptember 10, 2011 at 4:43 PM

    We have had an earthquake on Island Paradise...lol

    I think it was a 25.9 on the richter...

    Things are disappearing...flashing and going fast then at a snails pace....I've got crops growing in the water and water based trees on land...

    I really got into that game as it expanded and am embarrassed to say I have spent well over $1500 on it in the last year....

    But now that I have hit level 100 I just don't care anymore except that I feel I have an investment there....

    never again....I think I'll return to Farmville....I have spent a little there too...lol...I have that ring that makes sure your crops don't wither...assuming I still have a farm. I haven't been there in a while...

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  19. TinkaSeptember 10, 2011 at 5:09 PM

    Just_Lin - Good Afternoon. Have you settled in to being at home yet? It takes a while. I hate those tsunami warnings. They scare me. If I hear one in the middle of the night I will probably have a heart attack and then I won't have to worry about the approaching water. I just woke up from my nap and I am not at my most optimistic for at least a half hour.

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  20. TinkaSeptember 10, 2011 at 5:14 PM

    Michael - I think you should return to Farmville. Then we will really be neighbours. If not kindly send me your unwither ring. I could surely use it.
    Did you really spend $1500? That makes me feel better. I spend too much but not that much.

    Speaking of rings, how did you get a picture of the ring that Jack gave me two years ago? I don't remember sending it to you.

    I have had a light lunch and I am off to Farmville. Hope to see you there Michael. I think Zona may be there.

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  21. TinkaSeptember 10, 2011 at 5:17 PM

    Tango and Tia love it here at the farm. I wish I could bring Teddy my kitty with us but I am afraid she would run away.

    Off I go. Have a great afternoon. It is 80F and beautiful here. Hope is is lovely wherever you owls go when you leave the nest.

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  22. TinkaSeptember 10, 2011 at 5:17 PM

    23

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  23. TinkaSeptember 10, 2011 at 5:17 PM

    24

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  24. TinkaSeptember 10, 2011 at 5:17 PM

    25

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  25. AnonymousSeptember 10, 2011 at 5:31 PM

    Tinka...

    yes...I have spent that much....

    I was just in Farmville...set up my aviary...harvested plowed and planted with one click...thats nice...

    Unwither ring working great!

    Tinka...that is the Krupp diamond that belonged to Liz Taylor with an auction estimate of 2.5-3.5 million..

    I am sure yours is nicer...this one is colorless...but not completely flawless...

    I'll bet yours is colorless and flawless....!!

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  26. TinkaSeptember 10, 2011 at 7:15 PM

    Colourless and flawless? - I can dream can't I?

    My ring is beautiful. I love it.
    I don't think we will be bidding on Elizabeth's diamond. I think we are about 2.5 to 3.5 million dollars short. Do you remember when Elizabeth and Richard were on one of the last of the "I Love Lucy" specials? Her ring was featured on that show. I don't think it will be in my 9 seasons. They made a few one hour specials after that and I don't know if they are in my box of DVD's or not. I just started season 6 at nap time today. I am going through them faster than I thought I would. They are all so funny.

    Welcome back to Farmville. I can't see your farm but I can imagine it's great.

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  27. whabbearSeptember 10, 2011 at 7:42 PM

    Hi, owls! Been MIA lately... inexcusable... blame a nine day straight business trip to Flagstaff and vicinity! I waved to Zona while waiting for flights in Sky Harbor, though!

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  28. TinkaSeptember 10, 2011 at 7:51 PM

    Hi Bear. Nice to see you. I wish I could attend your BBQ but I think my travelling days are over. You must have a drink on me. I don't drink but you could have one for me.

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  29. TinkaSeptember 10, 2011 at 7:51 PM

    30

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  30. Just_LinSeptember 10, 2011 at 9:59 PM

    Tinka I'll have a drink for you, too. :)

    I am located about one mile in from the coast and at the foot of some mountains. I am elevated enough not to worry about a tsunami.

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  31. Just_LinSeptember 10, 2011 at 10:00 PM

    Bear I hope you are recovered enough to enjoy the BABB you are hosting.

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  32. AnonymousSeptember 10, 2011 at 10:21 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  33. AnonymousSeptember 10, 2011 at 10:35 PM

    Tinka...

    The diamond that Lucy got stuck on her finger was a pear shape much larger than this one. Liz sold it in 1969 to build a hospital in Botswana.... it was 69 carats cut from a rough stone of 241 carats...The story of the diamond is very interesting...its called the Taylor-Burton Diamond...

    and thank you...yes...I do have the most beautiful farm in all the land...

    Hi Whabbear and J/L...its a boring Saturday night around here....guess I should have gone to the A&M game...NOT!!

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  34. AnonymousSeptember 10, 2011 at 10:39 PM

    Tinka...heres a link for info on that stone and its appearance on Lucy...

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taylor-Burton_Diamond

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  35. TinkaSeptember 10, 2011 at 11:15 PM

    Just_Lin - Thanks for thinking of me and having a drink for me at the BBQ. I had planned to go to the first BABB that wasn't held on the Labour Day weekend. Bear changed the date but I had a change in my physical status. If I were richer I could go first class and lie down in one of their "pods" but we can't really afford that.

    I am glad you are far away from a tsunami. I think we are too although the rumour goes around every once in a while that if the Big One hits, Vancouver Island will disappear. I really do think that is impossible however. It is a very large island.

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  36. TinkaSeptember 10, 2011 at 11:18 PM

    Michael - Thanks for the link. I learned a lot the diamond. I was wrong twice. Her diamond wasn't featured on "I Love Lucy" but rather on "Here's Lucy". I just remember laughing so hard when Lucy got the ring stuck on her finger.

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  37. sacBarbSeptember 11, 2011 at 12:23 AM

    Zona, funny story. Thanks for sharing it. I hope things are cooling off for you guys.

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  38. Just_LinSeptember 11, 2011 at 5:31 AM

    Zona Sorry, I totally forgot to thank you for the blog. It was very cute.

    Sweet dreams, HOoters.

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  39. Dianne/DenverSeptember 11, 2011 at 5:43 AM

    Funny blog ZONA. My brother is going to want royalties soon so be prepared.

    Off to bed after a fun day. Night to all the owls that are sound asleep already.

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