by Dianne
Ladies - pass this on
Men - let this be a lesson
A man is showering up in a locker room
With his buddy when he notices his friend
Is very well endowed.
'Damn, Bob , you're hung!' Jim exclaims..
'I wasn't always this impressive; I had to
Work for it.'
'What do you mean?' Jim asked.
'Well, every day for the past two years
I've spent an hour each night rubbing it
With butter. I know it sounds crazy but
It actually made it grow 4 inches! You
Should try it.
'Jim agrees and the two depart'
A few months later the two are back in the
Same locker room and Bob asks Jim
How his situation was.
Jim replied, 'I did what you said, Bob ,
But I've actually gotten smaller! I lost
Two inches already!'
'Did you do everything I told you? An
Hour each day with butter?'
'Well, we don't use butter, so I've
Been using Crisco.'
Wait for it ..........
Wait ...........
You know it's coming...
Crisco!!' Bob exclaimed. '
Damm it, Jim,
Crisco is shortening!
MORAL OF THE STORY:
You gotta follow the recipe & men don't listen!
With his buddy when he notices his friend
Is very well endowed.
'Damn, Bob , you're hung!' Jim exclaims..
'I wasn't always this impressive; I had to
Work for it.'
'What do you mean?' Jim asked.
'Well, every day for the past two years
I've spent an hour each night rubbing it
With butter. I know it sounds crazy but
It actually made it grow 4 inches! You
Should try it.
'Jim agrees and the two depart'
A few months later the two are back in the
Same locker room and Bob asks Jim
How his situation was.
Jim replied, 'I did what you said, Bob ,
But I've actually gotten smaller! I lost
Two inches already!'
'Did you do everything I told you? An
Hour each day with butter?'
'Well, we don't use butter, so I've
Been using Crisco.'
Wait for it ..........
Wait ...........
You know it's coming...
Crisco!!' Bob exclaimed. '
Damm it, Jim,
Crisco is shortening!
MORAL OF THE STORY:
You gotta follow the recipe & men don't listen!
BAMM!
ReplyDeleteno man I have ever known is satisfied with the size of his penis.
ReplyDelete"It could be longer"..."It could be thicker"..."I wish it didn't look so much like a mushroom"...
I'm so happy I have never had to think about those things...in High School I was voted "best dressed"...most handsome" and "Best Penis"....
yeah.....and I'm Miss America!~
ReplyDeleteHa! Ha! Ha! Dianne that was funny! Thanks for the chuckles!
ReplyDeleteMorning Michael and Tina or should I say "Best Penis" and Miss America? LOL!!!!
ReplyDeleteGood Morning Michael and Tina - I believe both of you.
ReplyDeleteDianne - Thanks for the laugh this morning.
Barb - I hope you are feeling better today.
Zona - Looking forward to your call.
A restful time today. -- Ah it's heavenly.
Have fun Owls. Be Good.
Oh Shirley just flew in. Good Morning my Canadian friend.
ReplyDelete9
ReplyDeleteAfternoon Tinka!
ReplyDeleteMorning Glories!
ReplyDeleteDianne so true.
Michael best dressed? Does it have a Top hat and bow tie?
Barb that really sucks about your Christmas day!
Tina!! I will have you know my penis has been called a work of art!!
ReplyDeleteMiss America! Phffft!
Hi Tinka..Shirley (wink wink)...Lynn!!
ReplyDelete**looks strangely at Michael and moves farther away from him on the couch**
ReplyDeletewell let me give SacBarb a little competition here! Not really...I think her problem is much worse and got well soon...but last night...
ReplyDeleteI had the worst pains of my life last night. Practically no sleep. Like broken ribs maybe. But it is in my right bulging pectoral muscle like from the sternum on over. I am talking screaming out in pain when you breathe or move. It still hurts but not like it hurt all night.
I did do a couple of unusual things yesterday. I stretched really far for one thing. Maybe I have pulled a muscle.
I meant "get well soon" for SacBarb.....ga!
ReplyDeleteIs that an abstract MeeMee?
ReplyDeleteHi again...
ReplyDeleteLynn..
Those are Tom Cruise's calves as he stands in the Burj Khalifa building in Dubai...
Zona told me there is major calf action in Tom's new movie...Mission Impossible - Ghost Protocol...and sure enough...Tom rolls up his breeches!!
Michael Your penis is like a work of art? I hope it isn't a Salvador Dali. lol
ReplyDeleteI just saw Mission Impossible today. Really enjoyed it. Total action from beginning to end. I didn't pay close attention to Tom's calves, though.
Dianne Cute blog. Thanks for sending it in. This is not politically correct, but it reminds me of a song I remember my mother singing when I was little....."Mammy's little baby loves shortening, shortening. Mammy's little baby loves shortening bread".
ReplyDeleteTina What? That's all you have to say today?
ReplyDeleteShirley You should probably keep an eye on Michael for a while.
ReplyDeleteTinka My son and grandkids left early this morning to drive up to Oregon. Tomorrow I will enjoy the quiet, I think, after I meet my daughter for lunch. But it feels like I was running all day today. Met a friend for breakfast and talked for a couple of hours, ending up having to rush to the movie theater, then rushed home for 30 minutes before meeting the same friend and two others dinner. I'm well fed and tired now.
ReplyDeleteLynnD Please don't give him ideas. I'll be afraid to look at his next avatar. lol
ReplyDeleteGlad u all enjoyed the blog. I thought it was pretty cute.
ReplyDeleteWe went to the movie today and watched George Clooney in the Descendants. It was a sad movie but good. Louis and I both liked it.
Not much new around here. Hello to everyone
J/L...
ReplyDeleteI love that puppet! The colors are great...I tried to never miss Kukla, Fran and Ollie!
Oh someone told me years ago that my willy looks sculpted...I assume it was a compliment...
This muscle in my chest is still hurting...like if I cough....but you know how you do something and realize that u r not 25 anymore?
You(I) just can't stretch and reach...and turn like I used to....its best if I just find a spot and stay in it....
HI DIANNE!!
Michael My back was killing me on Christmas day because of the odd reaching and bending I had been doing for the few days prior while gettng ready for the holiday. I'm better today and only have an occasional twinge. Hope you're better tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteDianne I thought that movie looked good. Then again, most things with George Clooney in it look good to me.
ReplyDeleteDid u say something, MICHAEL? Huh?
ReplyDeleteLOVED the descendents~ ....and not just cuz my husband was in it~ :D
ReplyDeletelol J/L~ did some touristy sightseeing today....then had dinner with friends~ plenty to say....just been busy~
Di~ Thanks for the blag today~ not surprised you guys liked the movie~