by Dianne
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary Surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the Vet..
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the Vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" She cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
23 comments:
Morning Glories!
Damn labs and cat scans!
I hope everyone had a lovely day yesterday.
I think I will be home working on laundry and then tomorrow back to Dad's to deal with more funeral details. Things are a mess and I really don't want to go into depth about it. Right now.
Eva and Richard have kept me going this last week. Thank goodness for little ones.
Waving at everyone.
Lynn, I'm so sorry you are having to go through all of this, especially during the holidays. Yes, thank God for the little ones. They are usually what keeps us going. (((HUGS))) to you and all of your family. ♥
Dianne, LMAO at this blog. However, it is a commentary on our medical system and when you really think about it, it becomes less funny and more true.
LynnD Congrats on being first and prettiest today. I'm glad the little ones have helped get you through all this. Big (((Hugs))). One day at a time, as they say.
Dianne That's an oldie but a goodie. Being in the veterinary field, I've been sent that one before. Thanks for the chuckle today.
SacBarb We sure have been getting a good deal of rain, lately. Yesterday was pretty much a steady downpour with only a couple of brief breaks. I know we need it but my yard is really saturated now.
J/L, It rained all day here, too, but today is dry and clear. The weather people say it will start up again on Wednesday, I think. My yard has puddles all over.
I took the dog for a walk down by the pier. The waves sure do look rough and the wind off the ocean was really cold. I probably got windburn on my face. I was sure glad I had my gloves. It looks like we will get a break from the rain for about 48 hrs and then it will be back.
Hi gals!
wrote those two words an hour ago and got side tract lol!
Dianne funny!!Too close to the truth lol!
Cleaning up before and after the Holidays sure get in the way!
Between the cleaning,laundry and catching up on FB,I am trying to watch the Kennedy Centers Honors.
Tomorrow should be a little calmer.
Dianne funny blog!!Too close to the truth lol!
Barb and J/Lin, We are getting blowing drifting snow here. Roads are bad out there. They have iced up.
LynnD, Thinking of you xoxo
Hi Everyone...how are you doing this day after Christmas? Is everyone pooped? I am and I didn't even have to do anything yesterday. We had a nice day at my daughters. It ended up being late when Louis and I finally had our gift opening time. Today I had a fun lunch with my brother and the boy that grew up across the street from us. We reminisced and laughed a lot. I then headed off to pt. they were not very happy with me. I sat so much yesterday that my knee was very swollen. I didn't use my leg machine or ice or do any bike riding. I was very naughty so she worked me hard today
Thanks for the comments today.
JL, brr it sounds cold. It is 11 here today but sunny out. . When that sun is shining and since we have hardly any humidity it feels warm here.
Barb, how was your Christmas? Hope you had a nice day. Do you think you could be cheering for my team this week since we are at the end of the season and the Raiders lost? We need lots of cheering right now. I won't tell a soul.
Lynn. Pretty at first today. Those little grandkids can help us with a lot. Still thinking about you and sending you hugs.
Hi Mary, I started typing and got side tracked too. Glad you enjoyed the blog. I thought it was pretty cute and I hadn't heard it before the other day.
I haven't even put my gifts away yet. Everything is everywhere...including the wrapping paper. Btw, still haven't found those two lost gifts. I had one other but then my daughter unwrapped it from me yesterday. Guess that one wasnt really lost.
Mary I was watching the Kennedy Center Honors, too. Loved it!
Dianne The case of the missing gifts is quite a mystery.
Everything is cleaned up here except that the good china is sitting nice and clean and stacked on the dining room table but I haven't gotten it put away yet.
Okay, china put away.
DIANNE - Labs & cat scans indeed ;) Cute blog!!
LYNN - Glad your little ones are getting you thru ♥ Waving back at you Spoonin' Ho!!
BARB - Totally agree with you!!
SLIN - I had a feeling you had probably seen this before! Are you ready for some pedalpushers? ;)
MARY - I hope you kept your sweet ass at home. And don't go blaming this one on me ;)
Nothing worse than your youngest puking at 3am. He is resting on the "old fadoo chair". I hope it is nothing serious.
Have to run and get prettied up for work!
HOdi Sorry about your sick boy. Hope he feels better soon and that it's nothing catchy.
Thanks SLIN... Sam just called and he has thrown up 4 more times in the last 4 hours...ugh! Trying to get all my work done early so i can take him to the dr
Morning everyone....
I loved "Your Duck is Dead"...it made me laugh.
Yesterday I took another trip to the hospital ER, short stay and the doctor put me on a medication regiment to help my breathing because the pneumonia is better but still present. Had a hard time breathing.
I have to share about the handsome nurse that took care of me. My goodness he had my heart a jumping (not really, it was my nasty lung problem). In conversation with him he shares that he is a part time nurse 2 days a week and 5 days a week he is the owner of a funeral home from the town I grew up in. So I said to him, I LOVE the fact you are a nurse for 2 days and I pick today to come to the ER. He laughed!! I asked him if he ever went into the drug store that my Mom was a Pharmanist Assistant at for many years and he immediately said to me, you are Ruth's daughter. So I knew my Mom was looking down on me....
Lynn: My thoughts are with you but little ones do bring a smile to your face.
SacBarb...I agree about the medical system comment...
JustLin...come to Syracuse NY...we got 18 inches of snow last night.
Mary...I laughed about you getting side track with your post. I am scrolling up and down trying to comment to everyone...it is a trip on so much meds...
JustLin...you get to play with dogs and cats all day. Lucky lady.. I had to place my cats in other homes due to my health problem. Missing Storm and Pheonix a lot but I know they are ok. Personally I love labs and my next door neighbor has two...
Dianne...hope you knee gets better and I know you enjoying yourself with your visit played a part of it swelling up but I am glad you had a nice lunch.
Jodi...sorry to read your son is sick. I have Pedialyte in powder packs for my grandchildren (just in case). I do not know your son's age but if he is younger,it would be a great purchase to have in the house for those throw up days to have him sip on.
Whabbear....if you are reading, thinking of you and your mom.
Hoping for a better day today...
Take care everyone....
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