THE NEW ALPHABET

by Dianne

A is for apple, and B is for boat, That used to be right, 

but now it won't float! Age before beauty is what we once 

said, But let's be a bit more realistic instead.
 
Now The Alphabet:
 
A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest

pains, perhaps car-di-ac?

D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't

read that top line! F is for fluid retention, G is for gut 

droop, which I'd rather not mention.

H high blood pressure--I'd rather it low; I for incisions with

scars you can show. J is for joints, out of socket, won't 

mend, K is for knees that crack when they bend. L 's for

libido, what happened to sex? M is for memory, I forget

what comes next. N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;

 O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!

P for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill

and I'll be good as new! Qis for queasy, is it fatal or flu?  

R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears, T is for

Tinnitus; bells in my ears! U is for urinary; troubles with

flow; V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know..
 
W for worry, now what's going 'round? X is for X ray, and

what might be found. Yfor another year I'm left here behind,

 Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind!
 

I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed, And I'm keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!