by Mary
I went
into my
proctologist's
office for my
first rectal exam.
His new
nurse, Evelyn,
took me to an
examining room
And
told me to get
undressed and
have a seat
until the
doctor could
see me. She
said that he
would only be
a few minutes.
After putting on the gown that she gave me, I sat down. While waiting I observed that there were three items on a stand next to the exam table:
A Tube of K-Y jelly,
A rubber glove
And a beer .
When the doctor finally came in I said,
"Look Doc, I'm a little confused
After putting on the gown that she gave me, I sat down. While waiting I observed that there were three items on a stand next to the exam table:
A Tube of K-Y jelly,
A rubber glove
And a beer .
When the doctor finally came in I said,
"Look Doc, I'm a little confused
This is
my first exam
..
I know
what the K-Y is for
And I
know what the
glove is for,
But can you tell me what the BEER is for?
At that Doctor Paul became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door
He flung the door open and yelled to his nurse .. . . . . .
Dang it Evelyn !!!
I said a BUTT LIGHT "!
.......sort
of like a
Pabst smear.
But can you tell me what the BEER is for?
At that Doctor Paul became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door
He flung the door open and yelled to his nurse .. . . . . .
Dang it Evelyn !!!
I said a BUTT LIGHT "!
.......sort
of like a
Pabst smear.
48 comments:
MARY!!! O M GEEEEE!!! So funny!!!
I ended up not going to the beer tent last night. Maybe I'm getting old, but did NOT feel like hanging out in the rain to drink beer!!!
DIANNE - Still a bit soggy here this morning, but at least it's not so dang hot!! And the humidity has broken, too. The forecast says it's gonna clear up early in the afternoon. I hope so. I have parties to go to and a drum corps show to see today!!!
p.s. I'm sure SLIN is fine. As you recall, she never checked in while we were in Hawaii, either!!
Hi Jodi. You look maaahvelous today.
Could you have known they were serving BUTT LITE last night and that's why you didn't want to go to the beer tent?
Have fun at the drum corps show.
Waving to all the Hooters.
Hi...everyone....not much going on here today. Getting ready to go to the dinner I told you all about and that's it. Picking up an ice cream cake to bring ...yum and a botte of wine.
Not quite as hot here and drizzling a little this afternoon ..good.
I know it is kind of late, but thought I would check in anyway!
We had dinner tonight at a local restaurant with about 30 of Jim's relatives.We had 3 waitresses. The one we had had a bandaged hand. I felt sorry for her. She had to make extra trips because she couldn't hold too much in her hands. I am surprised they had her working. We made sure to tip her good.
Tomorrow we are going to a family BBQ. Mostly the same people, just more lol! I still have not figured out what dish to make!!
I am watching the Anna Nichole story. Her son is the one I felt sorry for. He sure had a hard time seeing his mother's actions all those years.
Have a great Sunday hooters :)
Wow where is everyone today? We went to see the movie The Heat with Sandra Bullock and it was really funny. We went with another couple and laughed and laughed. Naughty language but still funny. We went for Mexican food after the movie. Nice day and cooler temps too.
We had a great dinner saturday night at my friends house. They grilled steak and salmon....yum yum. My SIL is a great griller.
It seems like all I talk about on here is food. No wonder why I never lose weight at WW.
What are you all busy doing today?
Good morning! Really wasn't online much yesterday. Had a stubborn headache most of the day.
Saturday was so much fun!! A one year old b'day party and Shane's graduation party before heading out to Middleton for Madison Scouts show. Watched rehearsal with my ex-SIL Sharon before heading to the tailgate. I was able to re-connect with a guy that was in the colorguard back in 1986!! I also bid on and won a special flag signed by this year's colorguard in their silent auction. The show was amazing!! The corp was joined by alumni in celebration of their 75th Anniversary during their closer "Never Walk Alone". What an emotional moment that was!! I took my Aunt Jane with me. She had never been to a drum corps show and had never seen James perform live. I'm so glad I took her!! She was blown away by all the corps. The best thing that she could've said is that she felt so connected to my Mom. We both had tears in our eyes by the end.
Waving a wing at BARB, DIANNE & MARY!! I hope you all have a great day ♥
Hello.....it's nail and hair day at this house. Nails are done and hair in an hour. We are going to the mountains on Wednesday and staying until Sunday. It will be a nice get away and my kids are going and all of my grandkids.
Anyone have any plans for the 4th? No fireworks here with all the horrible fires. Terrible about the loss of the fire fighters in Arizona.
Anyone around today?
Hello Hooters.
Dianne, Today was hair day for me, too. Got all the gray covered and I am all beautified. Of course, tomorrow, I will look like the same old me!
Jodi, It was so nice of you to take your Aunt Jane to see the corps. It's a memory that both of you will never forget.
Mary, Sounds like you had a nice family reunion. We have one every year with my Hubby's family, but I am going to miss it this year because I'll be in Australia.
Tina, Waving a wing to you. I hope all is well with you and your family.
Barb, when do you go to Australia? Boy, that will be a lot of fun. How long will you be gone? Barb, at least tomorrow we won't have any gray in our hair!!!
Mary and Jodi....you two sound pretty busy. Good, keeps you out of trouble.
Hi it Tina too. How is it to have three college bound kids now?
Hi, HOoters!!! Yes, I am fine. Sorry I didn't check in but it was go, go, go. Not to mention that using the internet was very expensive out on the seas. Just got in from London tonight so it is almost 3:30m a.m. for me. My brain is fried. I will write more tomorrow. I need to just do something mindless for now and try to unwind and then get some sleep. Hope all is well with all of you.
Jl.....welcome home. We've all been thinking about you. We need a full detailed talk about your trip..can't wait to hear all about it.
BARB & DIANNE - I'm sure you both look fabulous!! I'm coming up on needing a cut, but my gal is out of commission for a bit. Trying to get to the bottom of some health issues she's been having.
DIANNE - Have fun in the mountains with your family!! No big plans here. Supposed to work on the 4th. But that may change depending on what the ortho doc says today about Jake's injury.
SLIN - Welcome home!! You were missed, but I can't wait to hear all about your fabulous trip :)
What a night. Ended up in the ER with Jake. He had been kicked by a horse on Saturday, but was just sore this weekend, so we never took him in. He tried playing ball last night, but when he ran, trying to catch a fly ball in the outfield, he felt a "pop" and went down. He fractured his femur close to his groin, and some of the muscle in that area tore off the bone.
I'm going in early today so I can get the heck out of there. Need to get into a orthopedic surgeon to get his opinion ASAP!!!
They sent us home with a prescription for Vicodin and crutches. Thankfully I found a 24 hr Walgreen's on the way home. By the time they filled his prescription and I drove the 1/2 hour home, it was after 10:30 pm.
The nurse said to not eat after midnight, in case the surgeon decides to do a procedure today.
Yesterday Paul started a 2nd shift stint on his job. It kind of works out for the best. I feel better that he will be home with Jake while I'm at work. Can I just say I hate it when my kids are hurting :/
25!!!
Jodi, so sorry about jake. Is he in a lot of pain? Be sure and let us know what dr says. I hope he will be better soon
HOdi I'm so sorry to hear about Jake! No wonder he was hurting! I hope they can get him into surgery soon. Meanwhile, try not to worry and stress too much. (((HUGS)))
Dianne You are up early today, as am I. I got about 5 hrs sleep. I'll probably be crashing aqain soon.
Called the ortho clinic and they had an opening with a PA at 2:30pm. I had some questions for the nurse, so they transferred me. While I was on the phone with her, Jake had gotten up to use the bathroom and fell. Poor guy was screaming. She stayed on the phone with me while Tim and I helped him up. She said she would have one of the drs. look at his chart from last night right away. She called back and the dr feels he won't need surgery. At least not today. We are still going in at 2:30pm to get an evaluation. Gave him another pain pill and an ice pack. He is resting comfortably on the couch.
I'll report back after his appt.
Great news!!! No surgery!! He can start PT in 10 days. The PA showed him how to better use his crutches. He's moving better and more confident.
It's been a long 24 hours. Caught a brief nap late this morning and I'm exhausted.
Have a great night HOoters ♥
A side bar to last night. There was a Mom from the other team that is an ER nurse. She came right out on the field to see if she could help. Stayed out there with us the whole time until the ambulance got there. She even called the hospital we were at to get updates about Jake, and to give us updates about the game. What a great lady!!
The other thing that touched me last night was one of the coaches texted me later in the night. He said that the Mom/ER nurse gave our team the final update after the game was won. We won 14-6 and said the team won that one for Jacob ♥
Jodi, how nice of the other mom to do all that last night. I'm so glad jake doesn't need surgery. Those crutches can be a bear to operate. Guess it will be a quiet weekend for him. I'm sure he needs to rest. Hope you are getting some sleep yourself today.
I worked today but things were slow. I'm now packing and (hold on to your hats)....making a cake to take for my grandsons birthday. Yes, making that means cooking.
J/L, welcome home. I'm sure you had a good time. Hopefully you will be able to share pics. I know you don't have a camera, but maybe you can get some pics from your daughter.
Jodi, So glad your boy won't have to go through surgery. I have a LOT of ER experience with three boys and my Hubby and when I cleaned out a closet a few years ago, I found 12 pairs of crutches in various sizes. I gave them all away.
Wow barb, that's a lot of crutches!!! You could have had a medical yard sale.
JL, are you sleeping?
Dianne, All my boys and my Hubby were in sports almost from the time they could walk, so that covered a lot of years. But, yes, I was on a very intimate basis with the people in the cast clinic at Kaiser. You know you've been there too much when you see one of the cast techs in the gross-ry store and he knows your name and all your kids.
Going to get another 5 hours of sleep tonight. Heading to Boise early in the morning. I'll be back Saturday night. Be good!
Barb She has 2,500 photos to sort through. May be a while before I see any. LOL
HOdi Sending love and good thoughts to your boy. Hope he mends soon.
Dianne Baking? Better be careful. You might get used to this baking and cooking stuff. Worse yet, Louis might get used to it.
Mary Whatever you make for the BBQ, I know it will be delish.
Hmmm, not to be nosey JL....but Idaho?
DIANNE - That's super fancy cooking!!
BARB - I think this is our 3rd pair of crutches. Over the course of the last almost 19 years, that's not a bad average ;)
SLIN - Thank you!! Enjoy your trip ♥
Sorry I missed your call today Jodi. I was at work then. So glad jake will get some pt
Heading out for a manicure. Jake is doing so much better painwise today. Makes this Mama smile :)
Dianne, All those crutches were collected over a period of about 30 years. Remember my oldest son is 10 years older than my second son, and we had already collected a few before the younger two were even born. Also, a few pair belonged to my Hubby and most of the injuries were caused by some sort of sports mishap. My Hubby played softball and baseball until he was over 40. He shoulda quit about five years sooner.
DIANNE - No worries!! Have a great weekend in the mountains :)
BARB - Do you have big plans for the holiday?
Helloooooooo!
Darn if I haven't been busy!!
Welcome back JL!! Wow, your daughter has been busy taking photos! I can't wait to see a few hundred lol!!
Dianne, step away from the oven!! Bakery time lol! Have a good time!
Jodi, so glad Jake won't be having surgery! Being young has a lot to do with healing faster.
Barb, I have a couple of crutches,walker,ice machine (medical),and way too many medical records to keep straight, just from my knee!
Fri Jim & I leave for Vegas. His Birthday is Sunday. We come back Monday. I hear it is 115* there!
Have a great Holiday week end all!!
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