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Saturday, August 3, 2013

Roadside Assistance


by Sac Barb


Yesterday I had a flat tire on the interstate. So I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully get out of the car and open the trunk.

I took out 2 cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic. They look so life-like you wouldn't believe it!

They are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to the approaching drivers.

To my surprise, cars start slowing down looking at my lifelike men which made it safer for me to work at the side of the road. And of course, traffic starts backing up. Everybody is tooting their horns and waving like crazy. It wasn't long before a state trooper pulls up behind me.

He gets out of his car and starts walking towards me.. I could tell he was not a happy camper!

'What's going on here? '

'My car has a flat tire', I said calmly..

'Well, what are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road? '

I couldn't believe that he didn't know. So I told him,

'Helloooooo, those are my emergency flashers!

64 comments:

  1. BARB - Thanks for the laugh!!! Almost done with my shift. It has been batshit crazy busy today!!!

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  2. HOdi Good morning! Hope you have a great rest of your day.

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  3. Barb Thanks for the blog today. Whatever works! LOL

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  4. SLIN - I was scheduled until noon, but didn't get out of work til 12:45. OY!!! Not doing much the rest of the day. Tim got called into work early, so I don't have a vehicle. Made the most of a quiet house and took a nap!! Getting ready to sit outside and enjoy this beautiful afternoon with a Hulamoo!!! CHEERS ♥

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  5. Hello Hooters.

    I cracked up when I read this and I thought you all would like it too. I wonder if her 'emergency flashers' were women, if some knight in shining armor would have stopped to change her tire for her! ;)

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  6. Jodi, You got through the long work week and now it's time to have some fun.

    J/L, hope you're having a nice weekend.

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  7. Waving to Mary and Dianne (where are you?)

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  8. Here I am....my granddaughter has been here for a couple of days. She came to do work for $10/hr. she's a good worker and earned $60 and Louis gave her a $20 tip. We went to my other GD car wash today for cheer leading and it promptly rained about thirty minutes later. UG!!!

    Very cute blog, Barb. I hadn't seen that one before...funny. I think I'll send it to my police son.

    Tammy and I went to see Brad Paisley in concert Thursday night. He had Lee Brice and Chris Young. They have a lot of popular songs out. It was a very good beautiful night outside concert. We always get decent handicap seats too.

    Jodi, you are just about done with all these days. Sounds like you need another car at your house!! Come on, mom!!

    JL...what are you up to today? Are you packed for Denver yet?

    I took my grandson for crab to try for his bday Wednesday. We went to Joe's Crab Shack. He said it was the best bday lunch he ever had and he'd never forget it. Melted my heart. He just turned 11.

    Think I'll take a nap and wash some towels this afternoon. My tummy is full from lunch. We went to eat after the car wash.

    That's about it from Denver. Over and out

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  9. Howdy H00ters! Kind of a busy day. I went down to our VFW this morning. We had the street lined up with people waving flags. We had 2-300 Military Vets, men and women riding through on motorcycles. Pretty impressive.
    I made lunch and a little house work. A friend of mine told me his Mother was in the hospital and wondered if I would cover a DJ job for him tonight. I thought about it then called him back. I suggested he go ahead and do his job and I would go sit with his Mother. She doesn't have much family or close friends. I have only known her a few years, but felt like she would enjoy the company. I was there from 5-8:30. I didn't have to worry about keeping up the conversation, she never stopped talking lol!!
    She was a bit grumpy (not with me) She did not want to be there! I told her I could help her escape. She laughed and said "ok!
    She is 71 and a tough cookie!
    I think she will be a hand full in the hospital lol!

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  10. Mary, That was such a nice thing you did for your friend. He could get a break by doing the gig and know his mother would not be lonely.

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  11. Barb I did have a nice Saturday. Probably because I did NOTHING! Oh, wait. I did do one load of laundry. LOL Hope your day was as relaxed as mine.

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  12. Dianne If I make it to Denver will you give me a job? Sounds like you pay pretty well.

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  13. Mary That was very nice of you to sit with that guy's mother. You are a very kind person.

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  14. Hello everyone.......quiet Sunday. Are you all still sleeping? Wake up. If I'm up than you all need to be up and it's almost 5 pm somewhere (like Denver)

    Met a couple of work friends for lunch and that's it. I'm about to take a short nap.

    Mary, that was really nice of you to help out your friend.
    Come sit with me..I'm bored and we could catch up. Bring booze

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  15. Dianne, you cracked me up!! Many times I have wished I lived closer to you. What fun we would have, movies lunches and naughty talks :)

    Barb and I could go to the theater, more lunches, movies and watch your cute repairmen.

    Zona, we would be floating in your pool, more lunches and movies!!

    Jodi, e-gads can you even imagine if we lived close to each other!!!
    Spotted cow with lunch and lots of movies!!

    JustLin, I wonder what kind of trouble we could get into lol!!

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  16. Mary....you need to get on the road ....sounds like you have some visitin to take of soon

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  17. Good morning, HOoters!

    Dianne Are you up yet? It's early for me. I may end up going back to bed for a little while. We have white, overcast skies and everything outside is wet. Yep, looking like a go-back-to-bed kind of day.

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  18. Mary Well, I guess we would also be doing lunch and a movie. Do you like Boston Clam Chowder? I know the best place to get it just a short ride down the coast from here. It's in the opposite direction as the movie theater but we'll have plenty of time, right?

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  19. Watching the Bachelorette. This is the most interesting season yet.

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  20. JL, Sorry, not a fan of clams. I like pretty much anything else 'cept anchovies!

    What an experience at the Humane society today. It was visitors day, so I walked around looking in the kennels. So sad! A couple of cages had siblings with a sign that said you adopt one you get one free. Cannot be separated. One sign said these dogs come from an abusive situation,have some trust issues, must adopt together.
    I was waiting my turn to turn in a tiny kitten that was dropped off in our area. My Choc lab carried it to our porch by the scruff of it's neck. It was barely 3" long and weighed nothing! Jim didn't want it, so here I was feeling sad giving it up.
    As I was sitting waiting my turn a lady and her 2 teens walked in with 3 med sized cats. She was crying her eyes out as she was giving them up, and cried all the way to her car! I looked at the kitten I brought that was looking at me so sweetly and almost took her back home!
    At least she will be warm, fed and not fox bait lol!

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  21. Not fox bait, indeed. I hope the person who dumped her contracts a burning rash on their genitals that can never be cured.

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  22. Waving a wing and raising my cawfee c up to all you HOoters!!

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  23. DIANNE - Tim's car engine blew up about 2 weeks ago. He's almost done putting his truck back together. I told him he can't buy another vehicle until he sells these 2!!! Thought we had the car sold early on, but that fell thru. And he tells me he has a bidding war going on over his truck. We'll see.....

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  24. MARY - What a nice thing to do for your friend. Like DIANNE I wish we were closer!! Oh, what the time we would have!!

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  25. Working today and tomorrow, then I'm off til next Tuesday!!!

    Yesterday I took my SIL out for a birthday breakfast, took Tim to the dr (he had stubbed his big toe Sunday night and lifted the nail), did laundry, went to my Mom's cousin's wake, and ended the day with a store meeting. WHEW!!!

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  26. Oops....forgot that I had the oil changed on my car after breakfast yesterday!

    I have a short morning at work. Thank GOD!!! Getting a mani/pedi after work and need to start packing!!

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  27. Best get prettied up for work ♥

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  28. P.s. SLIN - I love clam chowder!! Take me!!

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  29. BARB - Where would u take me? Love u!!

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  30. Glazers r still on special, so Glazers for everyone!!

    Have a great day HOoters <3

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  31. HOdi Wow, you sure had a busy day! Thanks for the Glazers. Those are the kind with zero calories, right? LOL

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  32. Hello Hooters. It's a lazy day for me until 4:00, then I go usher for The King and I. Love that show. Shall we dance? So until 4:00, I am going to work on a scrapbook for one of my kids. I finished one already and have two more to do.

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  33. J/L, LMAO That's harsh, but animal abusers deserve to be dealt with harshly.

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  34. Jodi, There are lots of things to do around here: We could go to Tahoe and see whoever is appearing there, then take a short cruise around the Lake. The scenery is beautiful. And if you're up for it, we can even do a bit of gambling. There is also the Capitol Bldg. and the old Governor's Mansion we could tour. Or we could meet J/L in San Francisco and bum around the city. We really have unlimited options, so make your reservations.

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  35. Mary, Maybe you can travel to Cali with Jodi!

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  36. Dianne, now that you have a new knee, you should come to Cali, too.

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  37. SLIN - If you break them open all the calories fall out ;)

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  38. BARB - All of the above sounds perfect!! MARY is fun sized, so I'll just pack her in my luggage!! lol!!

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  39. Yesterday turned out way better than I expected. I had mentioned that it would be nice to have Wednesday off. Christina had offered to do the books, if I could find someone to cover her shift. But my boss Alex gave me a true gift. He offered to do the books and gave me the day off!!! Whoopie!!! I know have off til next Tuesday *and will only have to use about 22 hours of vacation time* SCORE!!!

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  40. Got my mani/pedi done yesterday. The Madison Scouts uniforms are dark green, so I got a deep green on my toes and just for fun, bright green tips ala french manicure on my fingernails! I'm taking my car in to get detailed today, packing, and programming the Garmin. Shari and I are taking off tomorrow at about 8am. I would've left earlier, but Shari isn't used to my "hours" :)

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  41. So excited to see my nephew!! He has worked so hard this summer. He even was named "Rookie of the Year" for the color guard line!

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  42. Hello Hooters.

    I hope you are all having a good day.
    I've been running errands this morning and soon I have to go to my class at Kaiser. I am really tired and I hope I can stay awake. ;)

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  43. Jodi, You are going to have so much fun on your time off. and you're going to be color coordinated, too.

    Waving madly to Mary, J/L, and Dianne.

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  44. BARB - What class? And. U be careful!! Nothing worse than driving tired!!

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  45. We are leaving now at 6 am. I took a look at James' schedule for tomorrow, and we will be able to make it in time to watch one of their rehearsals. He didn't think he'd be seeing us til Friday. SURPRISE!!!

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  46. Got my last load in the washing machine. I'm pretty much packed, except for what I'll be using in the morning. Can u tell I'm excited? ;)

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  47. Jodi, I am in the weight management program at Kaiser and we have a class every Wednesday afternoon. It's a real struggle, but I am really trying. The older I get, the more difficult it is to lose weight.

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  48. HOdi Drive careful and have tons of fun.

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  49. Barb I'm treading water with the weight loss thing. In fact, I'm sitting here eating a piece of Boston Cream Cake. I guess I need to try harder....a lot harder.

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  50. I'm gonna be off the grid for a few days. I am leaving for So. Cali at 7am and will be back on Saturday night. Everyone be good until I get back...or not, whatever! ♥

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  51. Well, it looks like its just a few of us for a couple of days. Everyone is going somewhere ...I want to go too. Anywhere.

    I went to dinner with a large group of gals tonight. I didn't even know two of them. It was fun. Went to the dentist (new one) yesterday ti finalize crown but have to go back again in two weeks to get it smoothed and get a cleaning. This is costing a lot of $$

    Dragging Louis to see Showboat tomorrow night. He'd best not sing or snore!!!!

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  52. BARB - I admire your dedication!! Safe travels lady!!

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  53. SLIN - Thank you, and I will. Suppose to be a 6 hour drive. We will see. I'm sure it will go fast :-)

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  54. DIANNE - I promise to check in when I'm gone!! And as for LOUIS, POKE HIM if he does either!! Enjoy the show :-D

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  55. Barb I guess you're in SoCal now. Enjoy!

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  56. Dianne Sounds like you had a fun lunch and met some new nice people. I hope you and Louis both enjoy Showboat and that no poking is necessary.

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  57. HOdi LOL @ poking Louis. Catch you later.

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  58. Waving a wing from Indiana!! Just got done watching rehearsal and a run thru. Wow!!! James was so surprised :-D

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  59. Jodi...fun that you surprised him. Have a fun trip. How long are you going to be gone?

    Well, the show was really good and Louis did not have to be poked. He stayed awake and didn't sing a note. What great music from that show. I'd never seen it before tonight. It was a nice date night

    Barb, hope you enjoy your trip.

    Well well JL, tonight was the first bronco game and we beat 49ers a whopping 10 to 7. Hey...important just that we won.

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  60. DIANNE - We come home on Sunday. I'm glad that LOUIS behaved and u enjoyed the show!!

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  61. The show was amazing last night!! We are heading out to their housing site this morning to watch rehearsal and get James' gear packed in my car. They are also having a family/friends BBQ before heading back into Indianapolis for finals.

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  62. Hello Hooters.

    I just got home from SoCal and I am exhausted. The Funeral was in Thousand Oaks yesterday and after the service we went back to Porterville and spent the night at Mickie's house. We left Porterville about 8:30 and should have been home about 1:30 but we ran into traffic right before Stockton and we were completely stopped for a while. When we finally got going, we saw a crushed motorcycle on the side of the road. All the emergency vehicles were gone by the time we got there so we don/t know what really happened, but it didn't look good at all.

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  63. Dianne, I ushered for Showboat in July and it was a really good show. I wonder if it was the same touring cast? The gut that sang Ol' Man River was wonderful.

    Jodi, have fun in Indiana.

    J/L, I didn't stick to the diet too well and haven't been on a scale since I left home. Think I'll just wait til Monday and enjoy the rest of the weekend.

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