by Dianne
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick, and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "what are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, as well as my husband's parents."
The judge took a deep breath and asked, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "we have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."
"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"Yes,
both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like
the music, but we can't seem to do anything about it."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes,"she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"
"Oh,
I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My
husband does. He said he can't communicate with me."
83 comments:
Good morning, HOoters!
Dianne LOL Didn't see that coming. Thanks for the laugh this morning.
Anybody having fun today? I am on my first cup of coffee. I will have to go to work for a while today but no real plans other than that. It's a beautiful day here.
DIANNE - Thanks for the chuckles...I needed that today :-)
SLIN - I worked this morning. The store was a madhouse! But it was a good distraction for what is happening right now. Enjoy the rest of your day pretty lady <3
Jodi, so sorry about your Godfather. How old was he? Terrible..my thoughts are with you.
JL....went to Olive Garden for lunch. It's a beautiful day here. Not much else going on.
DIANNE - Thank u. I think he was a year youger than what my Mom would've been, so that would make him 69. He was an avid fisherman. I guess if you have to go out doing what U love, it isn't so bad.
DIANNE - Thank you. Jerry was 69. He was an avid fisherman. I guess if u leave this world doing what U love, it isn't such a bad thing.
Here is the latest update. No luck finding his body yet, but they brought a cadaver dog in who has found his scent, so they are concentrating on that area.
HOdi Just checked back in Area 51. I'm so sorry about what happened with your godfather. Keep remembering that he was doing something he loved and was having a good day.
Thankfully one of his friends volunteered to I'D the body so my cousin Amy doesn't have to. I just wish they would find him.
Yes. The sooner the better.
I just got caught up from area 51.
Jodi, so sorry about your Godfather. I sure hope they find him soon.
I went to my Chiro yesterday. My body is way out of line. I am going back Monday. I have been having some weird "pointy finger" twitching My right arm has been kind of weird since the last time I gave blood, not sure if it is connected. Feels like maybe a pinched nerve or they stuck a muscle and or nerve.
It was a nice day here in Mich. I took the dogs for a long walk then met Jim at the VFW for "hamburger" night. Had a couple of beers and came home.
Tomorrow will be much of the same. Sometimes it is good to just do nothing :)
Thank you MARY <3
Mary I really enjoy my "do nothing" days. I probably have more than I'm entitled to. LOL
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Jodi, I'm so sorry about your godfather. I hope they have found him.
J/L, It was a beautiful day here today too. I did go out for a while and then I had dinner at the little place down the street where we ate when you were here.
Mary, I hope your chiro can get your body in line. I hate when that happens. It is so uncomfortable.
Dianne, Thanks for the laugh.
Just talked to my Aunt Jane. They are going to use sonar today to look for Jerry. My cousin and her family are coming back home today.
P.s. If they don't find him today, they are calling off the search.
Update: They found Jerry's body this morning with sonar.
Thank u all for all of your support. Love u <3
HOdi So thankful his body was located. Love and condolences to you and the other members of his family.
Jodi...very glad they found your godfather. I'm very sorry for all of your loss.
JL....I hate do nothing days. They truly make me depressed. I end up not wanting to get dressed, etc. now if it's a blizzard outside, I'm okay with one of those days. Of course I have plenty to do around here but no motivation to do it. One day I might even clean and straighten my office. I might find something very important. Lol
Mary, hope you get feeling better this week. Thanks for the text that you were twirling those tassels. I hope that's not why you are out of position. It worked...broncos slammed them today!!!
Barb, we are going to miss you for a whole month. Do you think you will ever be able to check in with us? Won't be long until you leave.
I went to Olive Garden ....again...I should have bought stock in it years ago. Tried their new potato/mushroom soup...it was so-so. I like the chicken one the best.
Another beautiful day here today in the high 70's. Perfect football weather.
Jodi, I'm glad they found your uncle. My condolences to you and the family.
Dianne, I will try to check in while I'm gone. I'm not taking my iPad but I am gong to get an international plan for my phone for one month so I will be able to post and text.
Mary, I read about you testing while on the treadmill. Not a good idea!
I have an appointment at the DMV to renew my driver's license tomorrow at 8:40am. Not happy about the time, but at least it probably won't be crowded. I have to take the written test. Boo!
J/L, we had another beautiful day here. I even took a short walk on the levee all by myself.
Barb, why do u have to take the written test? I'd probably fail it. Hope I don't ever have to take it again.
I'm glad you will be able to check in while your gone. It will be fun to hear from you.
Dianne, In California, our license expires on our birthday and when we reach a 'certain' age, DMV will no longer let us renew by mail. So I had a little note on my renewal notice that I have to go in an take the written test. Just another little reminder of how freakin' old I'm getting!
Here is a link from our local CBS affiliate about my Uncle Jerry.
http://www.channel3000.com/news/searchers-find-body-of-man-in-lake-namakagon/-/1648/22186972/-/8qcbbf/-/index.html
I also have a pic of Jerry and I as my profile pic on fb.
BARB - Good luck at the DMV!
DIANNE - Congrats on the Broncos win!! What a blowout!!
Good morning HOoters. I will be leaving soon for the DMV. I hope the commute traffic has lightened up by now. It has gotten so much worse since I retired. I am so glad I don't have to do this on a daily basis anymore!
Have a good day. :)
Jodi, Did they determine that your Uncle Jerry had a heart attack or was it the cold water that caused the drowning? My son is an avid fisherman and he never wears a life jacket. Salmon season is during the fall and winter and I worry so much about him in a boat without a life jacket with the water being so cold. Hypothermia can set in so quickly.
BARB - They ruled it a cold water drowning. They will not be doing an autopsy. I learned for the first time last night that my Uncle Jerry didn't know how to swim. Please share this with your son!!! If we can learn anything from this tragedy, it is to always wear a life vest!
Jodi, I will share it with my son for sure.
I am back from the DMV and I only got one wrong on the test. I didn't know it was illegal to smoke in a car with children under 18.
The woman processing my renewal was asking if all the info on my current license is up to date, i.e. address, WEIGHT, etc. I said "mostly." She just laughed and continued. Really, is anyone's weight accurate on their driver's license? I am striving to weigh what's on my license. LOL
HOdi I'm so glad that Jerry's body was located. If nothing else, it gives everyone some closure and the grieving and healing can begin. (((HUGS)))
Dianne I hope I don't have to take the written test again, either. I do think there are sample tests online, though, so you can practice.
Barb Good job on the test. You got an A for sure. It didn't used to be illegal to smoke with kids in the car. It came about with all the other anti-smoking legislation.
J/L, I remember when they were talking about it, but I guess I spaced out when it actually passed since I don't smoke. I thought the age limit for the kids in the car was 16.
You won't have to take the test for a few more years, but eventually you will have to take it. I only had to answer 18 questions, which is half of the test, and yes there are tests on the internet you can use for practice. I also had a DMV handbook to study. I did look up a few things, but none of them were on the test. LOL
Hi Everyone..congrats Barb on passing your test. I wouldn't have known that answer either. I wonder if I'll have to take the test in a couple of years or if it's a CA law? I'll have to check so I can worry about it.
I met my daughter for lunch and then took a nap and then spent about an hour and a half cleaning my desk. I still have more office to clean but at least my desk is done and all the filing. Opened some Xmas boxes that came in the mail a couple of weeks ago too.
Jodi, sending you big hugs and thinking about you.
JL...when are you leaving for Idaho? I think you said in two weeks.
Looks like the govt shut down. I remember in the 90's when that happened and we couldn't underwrite FHA or VA loans for a few weeks.
Dianne I go on the eleventh. I'll only be gone 5 days. May not be on the blog during that time as I always seem to have my hands full when I'm there. LOL
I got a flu shot today.
BARB - Congrats on passing your test!
SLIN - I agree. My Aunt Jane and I went in together and I took tp, paper plates, Kleenex, napkins, juice boxes, water, beer, a plate of cookies, and a couple of boxes of mini cupcakes over to my Cousin Amy's house yesterday afternoon. She's going to have people in all week. This way she doesn't have to worry about whether or not she's gonna run out of some of the necessities. I mean, really....what more do you need than Bud Light and cookies ;)
DIANNE - Good for you for making a dent in your office!! And thank you my friend ♥
Jake's team lost last night. Next Tuesday is his last game already.
My boss was sweet yesterday. He texted me and asked if I wanted to go to bowling last night to take my mind off of stuff. It felt good to laugh with "the gays" and have a couple of Spotted Cows :)
Happy Tuesday.
I have started the packing process; putting in things non-clothes related, unless you consider underwear clothes. I used to get all uptight about maybe forgetting something, but I don't worry anymore. I figure if I forgot something, I can get it there or I can do without it. That's a big change for me!
I hope everyone is having a good day.
Hmm JL..have your hands full in Idaho ...now that's an interesting statement. Care to elaborate?
Jodi...great idea on things to take besides food. I would never think about tp. U r one smart gal. Glad you had fun bowling.
Barb, I stress terrible about packing. It about makes me not want to go sometimes. I'd be major stressed for a month but if you can do laundry it will help.
My lady I go visit today is sick and not able to visit. I'm now all showered and dressed and no place to go. I'm going to pick up my granddaughter for dinner later but I'm at loose ends now. Anyone want to meet for happy hour?
Dianne Sorry about your loose ends. Too bad we can't really meet for happy hour How fun would that be?
Barb For longer trips, I sometimes keep a paper and pen on my dresser and make a list of things I'm afraid I might forget to take. I add to it as things occur to me.
JL....I do the same thing. I seem to forget deodorant if it's not written down ..even for short trips
Had a nice dinner with my GD and we went to Ulta too..or rather she did and I waited. We're trying a new lip gloss that she swears by. We shall see..always fun to experiment and who knows best than a teenager!! Lol.
Dianne & J/L, I do make a list of things I want to take and if I think of something during the day, I have just been putting it in the spare bedroom. I have a lot of stuff in there, like tweezers. I would definitely have to buy one if I forget that or I would have a unibrow by the end of the month.
I usually do a mail hold online and the Post Office delivers it on the end date, but when I went to do it I got a message that they won't hold for more than 30 days. I will be gone 32 days. So I went to the Post Office and I had to get a supervisor to approve the 'over 30 days exemption.' I'm glad I didn't wait until the last minute to do that online like I usually do. My neighbor would have picked up my mail but he is going to be gone for almost the same dates.
BARB - So excited for your trip! It's almost like we're going with u :D
DIANNE - Been thru plenty of loss in my life to know what you REALLY need! I've not heard of that lipgloss. You'll have to give us a review. I rarely use lipstick anymore. I'm a huge fan of the Baby Lips tinted lip balm by Maybelline!! So smooth and tastes good, too :D
SLIN - I'm with DIANNE....hands full, how? Ha!!!
Yesterday I took the boys to get their hair cut. It just so happens that our barber in our town was Jerry's, too.
Thursday is the wake. Jake has practice that evening and Tim has to work, so I asked Paul if he could stay back and make sure Jake gets to practice. I'm picking my Aunt Jane up. Her daughter can't go until a little later and she wanted to get there right away at 4. Thankfully Sam has Friday off. So my whole family will be with me for the funeral :)
My Great Aunt Joyce called yesterday afternoon. She and 2 of her kids are still traveling here in Wisconsin and wouldn't be home in time to order flowers for the funeral, so I told her I would take care of it for her. *Adding that to my to do list today*
I best get prettied up for work.
Have a great day HOoters ♥
Barb LOL @ unibrow! I make sure I have tweezers for the chin hairs.
Dianne and HOdi RE: hands full. Use your imaginations. LOL
SLIN - Me, too!! I have a mole on my chin that sprouts 'em!!
Just got back from having a Mani/Pedi. After the last 6 days, I truly needed some pampering. And its so warm out, I'm wearing sandals, and the Pedi was a necessity.
Heading out to sit in the sun. Hard to believe its darn near 80* on October 2nd!!
Hi..JL. I'm using my imagination...whew!!!!
Jodi, we are having the same beautiful weather but they are saying light snow on Friday and 46 for the high. I'm still using my AC off and on.
Barb, good thing the airlines will let you take tweezers. I have to get my lip and eyebrows waxed on Friday. Do any of you do that too?
I'm having kind of a toothache/nose ache. I can't tell if I need to go to dentist or dr for sinus. If I pres above my lip it hurts in both places. Any advice?
Dianne Tap your front teeth with your fingernail and see it if hurts. Seems to me it is more likely a tooth problem.
HOdi I am putting off my mani until next week when it is closer to my trip. Getting my hair cut and dyed tomorrow. Or as Dianne would say, getting my highlights done.
Barb I went to the post office today for work reasons and also personal. I meant to fill out a card for them to hold my mail but I totally forgot. Didn't know I could do that on the internet.
DIANNE - I don't have the patience to tweeze anything, so yes I get my eyebrows waxed and do my upper lip about 3 times a year.
SLIN - I get my "highlights" did everyday ;) I do NOT miss all that maintenance!!
left, left....left, right, left!!!
left, left....left, right, left!!!
75!!!!
Have a great day HOoters ♥
I've never had anything waxed.
J/L, It's very easy to hold your mail online, plus you can print a copy. I like to have proof or CYA (cover your a$$) as I call it. I still have habits I developed at work. ;)
Jodi, Do you only get your eyebrows waxed three times a year and no tweezing in between? If I waxed, I would have to go every week or the aforementioned unibrow would appear!
Dianne, We are having beautiful weather this week, but it is getting windy now. When we get a north wind, it seems to activate a lot of allergies. I hate it!
Good morning, HOoters!
Barb I did go on line and set up the mail hold. Very easy indeed. I covered my a$$, also. The older the get, the more I have to cover. LOL
I'm going to go see "Gravity" this afternoon. It's in 3D so I hope I don't get air sick. LOL
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