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Thursday, November 21, 2013

A Little Humor

by Dianne

After nearly 50 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening when the wife felt her husband begin to massage her in ways he hadn't in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her stomach. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.

She asked in a loving voice, ‘Honey that was wonderful, why did you stop?' To which he responded: 'I found the remote.'...

86 comments:

  1. DIANNE - Ha!! The ever present search for the remote ;)

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  2. SLIN - You are lovely today!!!

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  3. Dianne, Thanks for the laugh. LOL

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  4. BARB - Hope you are having a good day :)

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  5. Waiting for the boys to get home. We are going to the premier of Catching Fire the newest Hunger Games movie. The trailers look fantastic! And I know they shot part of the movie in Hawaii!! It will be fun to see if I recognize any of the areas they shot in.

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  6. HOdi Might be hard to recognize one section of paradise from another.

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  7. Barb Are you busy making Xmas cards? I tried to find some to buy today but had no luck. Not sure where I will try next. I used to get them at the local Hallmark store but they closed.

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  8. SLIN - You are right!! I looked online and it said they filmed on the North Shore of Oahu!

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  9. We really enjoyed the movie! And bonus....Sam's boyfriend Nate works at the theater we went to and he hooked us up with popcorn and soda!!

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  10. HOdi It pays to know people in the right places. I always have to have popcorn and a Coke at the movie theater. It's part of the ritual for me.

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  11. Jodi, did you get in to the movie for free, too. My Grandson used to work at a local cinema and he was allowed to get relatives and a limited number of friends in for free. We had to pay for food and drinks, though. Still, it saved $$.

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  12. SLIN - Popcorn and soda (on Nate) and I snuck in Twizzlers!!

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  13. Hi, J/L. I made half of my Christmas cards before I left for Australia. I am getting together with the Jens next Wednesday to get the other half done.

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  14. Waving a wing to Dianne and Mary.

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  15. BARB - I had already gone online to get our tickets, but I know he gets Sam in for free all the time. When I had texted him, I just wanted to know if he was working so I could say Hi!! I thought it was awfully sweet of him to hook us up with snacks :-)

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  16. BARB - I look forward to getting your card every year!! They r always beautiful!! Hoping to get a pic of the kids on Thanksgiving for our photo card.

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  17. Howdy. Brr it's cold here. No more snow and it did go up to 35 today. I got the gray washed away. Next week will be nails.

    I updated my labels for Christmas cards tonight and now Louis is trying to print them. I've had my cards for a couple of months. I'm amazed at how organized I am this year ....thanks to granddaughter help. I paid her the money I owed her and took her shopping. I think she probably spent most of it on gifts and herself.

    We are going with another couple tomorrow night to see Last Vegas. It's supposed to be really funny like GrumpyOld Men. I agreed to breakfast with my girlfriend tomorrow at the crack of dawn 9:30!!!! I don't know what I was thinking.

    Thanks for the pumpkin donuts, Jodi. I love anything pumpkin..yum. Cool free snacks at the movie. Yum again.

    Barb, you sound pretty Christmas organized too getting your cards all done. I'm waving my hooter wing back at you

    Jl, yes it is great how a person you just barely know can wiggle into your heart so fast. I wish the rehab people were as open as she is with me. I think some of them really don't want a visitor when I pop in their room.

    Glad you all enjoyed the blog. I thought it was funny.

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  18. DIANNE - You're welcome! I saw the trailer last night and Last Vegas looks hilarious!! Enjoy your breakfast date and the movie!

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  19. I've got a chicken alfredo pizza in the oven. I have to open again tomorrow, so will be hunkering down in a couple of hours. Going to be a frigid night. Predicted low of 8* with a windchill of zero!

    I hope everyone is having a good Saturday :)

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  20. Movie was great and very funny. Lots of laughs. Had a nice dinner afterwards.

    Not much new around here. Things look quiet in here today. Have a good sleep, Jodi.

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  21. DIANNE - Glad you enjoyed the movie! Maybe I will go see it on Monday after I get my nails done :)

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  22. Hi, HOoters!

    I'm cold. If I lived on the street below me, I'd be warmer. My street is in the shade of the mountain this time of year. Hope you all are having a nice Sunday. I am still in my nightgown and robe. Guess I should do something about that.

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  23. SLIN - Its Sunday....a great jammies day!!

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  24. Well, that game was not good for my heart. Ended in a tie in OT! Last time there was a tie in the NFC North was 1987. DIANNE I hope the Broncos do better tonight!

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  25. Hellooooooo!
    Dam it's cold here!
    Jodi, please blow it north or south to Dianne!

    I love getting Christmas cards!I got my first card this week. I hope it is a tradition that never stops. So many seem to have disappeared.
    Dianne, sorry about your Broncs! My tassels were frozen :(

    I went grossery shopping today and locked myself out of my Jeep! Pissed me off! It was 27 deg! Jim rescued me. I had changed purses, and had on a new winter coat.. My routine was off kilter lol! Old ladies like me need routine!!

    Dianne, that "hunting for the remote" is the only "fondling I get, so I hide it often ;-)

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  26. Boo hoo.....we lost in OT. It was a frustrating game. Had a 24 point lead at half time and the rest is history. We r now tied for first place in our division. Ok...sports talk over.

    Going to the movies tomorrow to see the new Vince Vaughn movie. I forget the name of it but it looks good. My friend took the day off for movie and lunch.

    Mary....you must be busy this weekend. Are you Christmas shopping?

    Is anyone shopping yet? I'm about ready to do my cards. I should have done them tonight. It I did order my Christmas stamps. Does that count?

    JL. ...Iagree with Jodi. Cold Sunday equals pj day.

    Jodi...are you going to the movie Monday? Come go with me. :(

    Yahoo...HI Barb. Happy weekend

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  27. Whoops----hi Mary ..WE WERE typing at the same time. I'm sorry to tell you but watching the weather and I think we are sending more cold your way. What a pain to get locked out...in the cold too. Ok...Go hide the remote.

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  28. Mary I tried to get into the wrong car the other day. Totally embarrassing. I'm glad you had Jim to rescue you when you locked yourself out. That's not fun to do even in nice weather.

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  29. HOdi Well, I did get dressed and went out gross-ry shopping but now I'm back in the nightgown and robe again,. Feels so good.

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  30. Dianne I'm going to go see that Vince Vaughn movie Tuesday night with some friends. Hope it's as cute as it looks to be in the trailers. By the way, I'll be out to dinner Monday night so will miss the Niner game. Think you could root for them for me? They need all the help they can get.

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  31. Barb Where have you been today? I managed to order some Christmas cards online. That's the only thing I've done so far in the way of holiday preparations. Oh, wait. I do have Christmas stamps.

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  32. MARY - You mean your hubby didn't warm your tassels up? ;) I hate it when I lock the keys in the car!! Thankfully I live in a small enough town and the police will come and unlock it for us yet!!
    Can't make any promises about the snow. We've gotten over an inch already this morning.

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  33. DIANNE - I wish I could go with u!!! I had a whole list of stuff to do today, but looks like I might not get some of it done due to the snow. It's suppose to clear up by this afternoon. Good thing...I have a staff meeting and bowling tonight!!

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  34. SLIN - You mean you didn't go out in your slippers?!!? Ha!!! Have a great day lady ♥

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  35. BARB - Waving a wing at you!! Did you get your cards done?

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  36. HOdi There are certainly days I wish I could just shuffle out of here in my slippers for a quick errand. You know when you see old ladies out in the store wearing their slippers? Those are the ones that finally said, "Oh, to hell with it". LOL

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  37. SLIN - Trust me....I have seen it all at work!! lol!!

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  38. Got my nails done this afternoon and visited Sam at work! They had some lovely wreaths. I hadn't purchased one yet for the season, so I picked out the ribbon I wanted and she made a beautiful bow for me, too!!

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  39. Heading out soon. I have a meeting at work and then it's bowling night!! I don't know what my boss was thinking scheduling a meeting on our bowling night. He's not sure the meeting will be done at time, so he asked me to bowl for him. *he's going to let me out of the meeting early!!*

    Wishing everyone a good Monday night!

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  40. JL, I have tried to get into Jeeps that weren't mine lol!

    Hodi, you are one busy owl today! I hope you "kill-em-in-the-allies"

    Barb, waving back at you! We keep missing each other. I was wondering if you have recovered from your trip.

    Dianne, I have my cards and no stamps. I keep forgetting to stop at the P.O.

    I didn't do a whole lot today. Took stuff to the recycle center, filled up on gas,visited neighbor and helped him with his 'puter,cooked dinner and bathed the dog. Dang! I drove right by the P.O. again LOL!!!

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  41. J/L, I swear that the woman in fromt of me at the Post Office yesterday was wearing flannel pj pants. Probably had the matching top under her jacket. No slippers, though.

    We had a rental car in Australia and it looked like all the other cars in the car park (parking lot). I often went to the wrong car. Good think Sharon knew which car was ours.

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  43. Jodi, The two Jennifers and I are meeting on Wednesday to finish our cards. We did half of them before I left.

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  44. Mary, I think I have recovered. Things are back to normal, whatever that is.

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  45. MARY - Bowling was fun!! The last game I bowled crazy good ... 163!!! I think that is one of my best games ever!!

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  46. I best get to bed. I have to work at 5am. Good night HOoters!!

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  47. Great game Jodi! I was a horrible bowler!
    I am heading to bed too.
    We are getting freezing rain. I hear there are many car accidents out there! Good night to be hunkered down at home :)

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  48. HOdi I got my nails done today, too. Tomorrow is hair day. Your daughter and your wreath are both very pretty. I'm not even thinking about any Christmas decorations until after Thanksgiving.

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  49. Barb I think I saw that same woman at my post office last week! And I won't even go out of the house without my makeup and hair done. Geez.

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  50. Mary I hope you're warm and cozy. I got a new robe today and I'm loving it. Really comfy.

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  51. Dianne Sorry about your Broncos loss yesterday. My Niners won tonight and they really needed to. I only saw the tail end of the game because I was out at Olive Garden with a friend.

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  52. MARY - Thanks!! I don't know why I bowled so well, but I'll take it!! *first two games were 114 and 104*

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  53. SLIN- Thank you! I guess I'm a little ahead of the game this year. Tim hung my lights over the weekend, but I will not plug them in til after Thanksgiving!!

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  54. HOdi I forgot to congratulate you on your good bowling game. It's fun, isn't it? Congrats, too, on getting your lights up. I swear I was much more organized when I worked full time and had less time. Now I have time and I just fritter it away.

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  55. SLIN - It also helps that I have teenage boys that help their Mom :-)

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  56. Hi or good evening or good night. It's late and I'm watching Inside Edition. Had my nails done today and dinner with my granddaughter. Not much going around here. Weather nice and sunny.

    I'm doing a relish tray and snack to take to my daughters for Thanksgiving. There will only be about ten of us. I've talked my granddaughters to come over and wrap some more on Sunday during the game. We received our first Christmas card today. I need to get on mine.

    What's everyone doing on Thursday? Anyone shopping on Friday? I used to love to shop the day after Thanksgiving with my daughter long ago...when the kids were little.

    Jl..Did O G still have the special going on? I think it might have been over. Is your new robe your Christmas present to yourself? I don't wear robes anymore...not for a long time. Btw, did you like the movie? I did. I think Louis and I will go see Capt Phillips on Friday.

    Jodi....GLAD YOU HAD FUN BOWLING. whoops didn't mean yell. I'd turn on those lights. I love decorations, Christmas music, etc.

    Well Barb, I think you're making cards tomorrow. How many are you making total?

    Mary..What's up? Stay off those icy roads.

    Have a good sleep

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  57. DIANNE- Good morning!! Or good night :) After getting the snow on Monday I've been listening to Christmas music. Driving my boys crazy with it ;) Ha!!! I work til 11am on Thursday and then we are heading to my in-law's condo. The Packers play early, so I'm really not sure when we will be eating. I've been instructed to bring the requisite green bean casserole. I'm going to put everything in a crockpot. Tim loves green bean casserole, so we must have leftovers!!

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  58. SLIN - I still use a robe, but only when I am going to shower. I seriously think the damn thing is probably 15 years old...maybe older!! If I'm going to "laze around" I wear my comfy sweats and fuzzy slippers!

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  59. DIANNE - And about your question about shopping? Hell to the no!! I work til noon on Friday and wouldn't catch me out in that craziness!!!

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  60. hmmmmm....looky what we have here....

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  61. Jake won his wrestling match yesterday. Another easy one. Can't wait til tournament season when he will have better opponents!

    I just realized that my boys have off of school until next Tuesday. WTC!!! We were lucky to get the day after Thanksgiving off!!

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  62. Jodi, Kids have a lot more time off school today than when my kids were in school. Do they add time at the end of the year to make up days? Congratz to Jake for winning his match.

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  63. Dianne, I need to make a total of 80 cards, unless I eliminate some folks from my list, which I am seriously considering.

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  64. BARB - Not for this. But they have NO cushion this year. Any snow days will be added at the end of the year!

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  65. J/L, I have two gifts bought and I need to get busy because I have to mail some. I really need to at least get those. I will NOT go shopping on Friday, unless I do it online.

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  66. Crossing my fingers I have warm water for my shower today. Our hot water heater has been acting up. I'll be calling the plumber after work today :(

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  67. Waving a wing at MARY! Hoping your tata's aren't frozen!!

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  68. Dianne I am looking forward to cooking a turkey breast and having other traditional goodies on Thursday. I will be by myself as my daughter and her boyfriend are spending the holiday in Phoenix with friends and my son and his girlfriend are up to their eyeballs in work at a coffee café his girlfriend recently took over as manager. To have an easy and quiet day is fine with me as I have them all here on Christmas. I will probably watch movies because I plan on dinner prep being relatively easy. I might even get one set of china out just for me.

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  69. HOdi I'm very old fashioned when it comes to sleepwear. Long satin-y nightgown and a cozy robe for me. The robe is really essential since I tend to sit around in it for a couple of hours in the morning as I have my coffee and get my attitude adjusted for the day.

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  70. Barb I guess you will have a busy day today making the rest of your cards. It takes a long time for me to just sign and address cards, let alone actually make them myself. I love getting your cards, though, and appreciate all the work you put into them.

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  71. SLIN - I love that you call having coffee having an attitude adjustment!! lol!!

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  72. Shoot....never did call the plumber today. I went out for lunch with my friend Christina and totally passed out. I did have warm/hot water this morning, so saying a little prayer that it limps along til Friday!!

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  73. HOdi Well, there's nothing like a cold shower to wake you up in the morning. I hope you have some hot water in the morning.

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  74. Ugh....no luck today SLIN! Praying my in-laws let me take one there. Ho spray down today ;-)

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  75. Wishing u all a Happy Thanksgiving!! I'm thankful to have u all in my life <3

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