by Mary
He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The co-pilot can be heard saying to the pilot, "So, Skip, whatcha got planned while we're on the Rock?"
"Well", says the skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel, take a big crap, then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner. I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and give her a ride on the baloney pony all night long."
Aghast and amused, everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle, trying to figure out who this new stewardess is that the pilot's talking about. Meanwhile, the new stewardess is seated at the very back of the plane. She is so embarrassed that she starts running toward the cockpit to turn the intercom off.
Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she goes. The old lady leans over and says, "No need to hurry, dear ....He's gotta land the plane and take a shit first."
56 comments:
Mary That made me LOL! Thanks. Good one!
Well, this is pretty lonely in here.
Very funny Mary. Thanks for the laugh.
J/L, sorry you were here all alone. I didn't get online until very late and here I am.
I hope Mary and Dianne aren't frozen.
Jodi, I hope you aren't frozen either.
I'm here and not frozen. Still in short sleeves and no coat. Another beautiful day. Sunday is going to be a cold bronco game at night. I'll be warm in my house.
Mary..Very funny blog today. Thanks for sending it in...made me laugh.
My GD is here and we organized my office today. It looks so nice. She's been wrapping Xmas presents for me all afternoon. $10 per hour ...worth it and gives her a few dollars. We're going to Kayla's cheer competition tomorrow afternoon. Tomorrow night I get to go to my friends church harvest dinner. It's a full Thanksgiving dinner ..yum.
Yay! I'm not alone anymore.
Barb Thanks for showing up. I was all lonely here. I hope you had a good day. Are you back to your usual routine now?
Dianne I'm glad you aren't frozen. I can't believe you already have Christmas presents! I haven't even thought about that, yet. Guess I better get my butt in gear.
Today I had a guy out replacing both gates on my backyard fence. He did a great job.
MARY - No need to hurry, indeed!!! I damn near snorted my coffee!!
SLIN - Sorry you were lonely....I kept waiting for an email saying someone had posted in the blog. Never occurred to me that there was a new one.
BARB - Not frozen. We had a beautiful day here yesterday. Low 50's and sunny. It could stay like that all winter!!
DIANNE - What a great GD u have!! Nice to spend the time with her and get some work done :D Enjoy the competition and the harvest dinner!
"Slept in" til 4am....wheeeeee!!! I have willing bodies to help me declutter the dining room and living room. All I need really, is a match ;)
Happy Saturday HOoters.
J/L, It's 10:40am and I have been up for an hour. I think I am getting back to some sort of normal, whatever that is!
Dianne, I usually have most of my Xmas shopping done by now, but I haven't even started yet. I hate being so behind.
Jodi, sleeping in til 4am? Sometimes I am just getting to sleep at that hour! I remember the "old" days when you would post while waiting for your coffee to brew and we were just winding down getting ready for bed.
HOdi The words "slept in" and "4 a.m." just don't seem to go together. LOL
Barb 9:40 a.m. Now you're talking my language! I rolled out of bed a little after 10 today. I got up early yesterday because the fence guy was coming. I probably need a day to recuperate. LOL
Good Evening.....we'll, we came in second place at cheer and the girls cried. They missed first by two points.
Emilee wrapped until 1am and earned a total of $75 for the day. It was so worth it. I miss her tonight. It was like a slumber party for the last two nights.
I had a great Thanksgiving dinner tonight. My favorite meal of the year. Promptly came home and fell asleep.
Jodi, did you get you dining room and living room done today? It seems so much easier when someone is helping you and goes faster.
Jl....I agree with you and Barb. 4am is when I'm going to bed sometimes too. I had to set the alarm for 10am today and tomorrow too.
Barb, are you all unpacked? Did u buy much on your trip? I am just about done with my Christmas shopping except a few gift cards. Em helped me think of a couple of items I was stuck on yesterday and ordered them online. Now I need to get to work on my cards. It feels so good.
Mary...hope your gig is going well for you tonight
Dianne Kudos to you for being so on top of it with the Christmas gifts. Wish I was that organized.
Dianne, I unpacked all the clothes I took and got them all washed. I have most of the rest put away. I didn't buy very much because I was afraid my luggage would be overweight. I shipped the Didgeridoo to Chad before we flew to NZ. We had a luggage scale (Sharon's of course) and we were almost overweight when we flew to NZ. They charge $120 for over 50 lbs. Luckily they didn't weigh our carry-on which are supposed to weigh no more than 15 lbs. Mine was only 1 lb over but Sharon's weighed 20 lbs.
J/L, LOL
BARB - What old days....it's my weekend off, so technically 4am is sleeping in!! I REALLY slept in today til 5am!! Ha!!
DIANNE - That's tough for the girls and by 2 points!! Trust me, it builds character, though! Got thru the living room yesterday. After my shower, I'm starting the dining room and laundry.
P.s. I would've got both rooms done, but Paul sent me out for winterizer ferfilizer for the lawn and window insulator kits. The boys did the windows and will be doing the lawn today.
BARB - What I meant is I still get up at 2am most days. Just like the good 'ole days :D
24!!
25!!!!
SLIN - Waving a wing....didn't mean to ignore you. Love u lady!!!
MARY - What up? or Up yours!!! Or whatever works ;)
Happy Sunday.
Just got back from the Olive Garden where I had a late birthday celebration with the family. I had fettuccine alfredo and also got one to go, all for $20. I also took half of my dinner home, so I'm set for a few days.
BARB - Love that deal!!
Can't sleep....ugh!! I ended up with day 2 of massive headache. Didn't even get out of my jammies. I did do some laundry, but that was about it.
Thankfully my headache is gone.
Sucking down some coffee before I hit the shower and get prettied up for work :)
DIANNE - Congrats to the Broncos!! I didn't even watch the Packer game :(
HOdi It was another disappointing Niner game. We lost by a field goal in the final 3 seconds! Glad your headache is gone.
Barb Good deal on the tasty food. I need to get back to Olive Garden soon. I haven't been for a while.
Jl....go to OG before the 24th and u can do the buy one get one deal. We'll worth it.
Jodi..glad you are feeling better. Guess that room will wait until next week. Thanks on the bronco congrats. We r now number 1 in our league. We have a couple of hard games coming up. We're on Sunday night football again next week so all of you can watch.
Barb...Jewelry packs nice. Lol.
Dianne, LOL. I'm not a big jewelry fan. I am allergic to cheap jewelry and I can't afford the expensive stuff.
J/L, I think Olive Garden had this same deal last year around this same time. I don't know how long it is supposed to last.
Jodi, Glad your headache is gone. I hate having headaches.
Hey Marrryyyyy.
SLIN - Ouch!! And in the last 3 seconds!
DIANNE - I have next Monday off, so I will be cheering for the Broncos!!
BARB - I'm glad it's gone, too! Jake had a wrestling match yesterday, but I stayed home for fear that the bright lights of the gym and all the noise would bring it back. Wish I had gone. He pinned his opponent!
Jodi, Congratz to Jake. Wrestling is about the only sport my kids never participated in, except with each other at home. ;)
J/L, we are expecting rain today and it's coming from your direction. We need it, but I have a lot to do this week outside of the house and I hate driving in the rain. I like it to rain only when I don't have to go out! LOL
Dianne, I just realized you posted the date the OG deal is over. I don't know how I missed that when I posted to J/L.
Well, here is the wandering owlett lol! I have been super busy!
Our Hunter's ball was a lot of fun. My oldest son and his wife were there. My son was a bit tipsy and danced with me lol!
It takes me a few days to prepare for these thing, downloading the latest music and making files of songs they can dance or sing to. You never know what the people are in the mood for, so you kind of have to have a large variety. This gig was mostly rock n roll and country so not too hard to please.
Sunday we had a terrible storm. The rain came down so fast it started to flood our lower garage which leads into our basement family room. Jim and I were out in the rain, high winds and lightening trying to dig our trench that had been overgrown and full of debris. I had a rain coat on and still got drenched! Even my bra was soaked lol!
At least we didn't lose power like half of the town did.
I will catch up with the comments as soon as I can. Tomorrow I am having lunch at my old General Motors UAW union hall in Lansing with my friends . Some of them will be heading south for the winter. Tomorrow I am visiting my Niece Jaimie in Grand Rapids and having a friend over for dinner and some karaoke. Looks like Friday is clear lol!
Have a great week all!!
oops, I meant to say I am visiting my Niece on Thursday.
So Mary.....looks like Friday is a good day for us to come over, right. Fix double dinner tomorrow night so we can eat on Friday.
Today I had lunch with my ex SIL for my bday , spent two hours with my new lady I go to visit every week and then Louis and I went out to dinner for Chinese with my uncle and aunt. Busy day. My little lady just makes me laugh. Today she wanted to know if I ever smoked pot? She told me she used to for a bad back...with a friend and "a little drink". Now remember she's 89. I so look forward to my visits with her as she is such a positive person for a person on dialysis three times a week and can only use a walker to get around barely. She is just a joy to me.
Barb and Jl. The 24th is just around the corner to get OG. They are also featuring their yummy pumpkin cheesecake right now. It's delicious. Hmm,. Wonder why I can't lose weight.
Jodi, congratulations to Jake. It was probably best you stayed home to get well. My grandsons used to wrestle and I didn't like going to all day weekend matches. Now it's all day weekend cheerleading competition and football games. I thought I graduated from all this when my kids grew up.
They are predicting snow here tomorrow might and into Thursday. We've been lucky so far and had a beautiful fall. Jodi..,Mary. Want some snow and the high Thursday is 29 brr
Barb Still raining here so I think I will stay home today and just enjoy it. We haven't had rain in two months so the local news is making the rain the top story. LOL When I was a kid rain was just rain, not the headline news of the day.
Mary You are such a trooper, getting out there shoveling and getting drenched. I bet you looked cute. I hope Jim appreciated your "wet t-shirt" look. ;)
Dianne The lady you visit really sounds like fun. Isn't it interesting the people that we come across that can enrich our lives. It sounds like you and her are a good match.
By the way, I'm hoping to go to OG Monday with a friend.
HOdi Congrats to Jake. Hope you're feeling good today.
BARB - My boys also "wrestle" at home. OY!!!
MARY - Sorry you were a wet mess on Sunday! We also got huge rain here. Thankfully we live on a hill! Enjoy your lunch and visit with your niece today :)
DIANNE - You are a good Grandma!! I know my kids appreciate it when Paul's parents show up to their events! Your "little lady" sounds like a joy!! We are getting the cold you are talking about. Saturday and Sunday the high is only suppose to be 24.
SLIN - I was feeling good yesterday until a little speck of something got into my right eye. Frustrating as hell, especially when I couldn't get it out. And it freaked me out when it was affecting my vision. I ended up leaving work and going to my eye dr. By the time I got there whatever it was had worked its way out, but it also scratched my lense. She gave me eye drops and sent me on my way.
Time to hop in the shower and get prettied up for work!!
Leaving pumpkin spice cake donuts for everyone ♥
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