by Dianne
Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the
priest almost fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life.
After Mass, the priest caught up with him
and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?”
Murphy said, "I got to be honest with
you Father. A while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really
love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came
to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass
and I figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to
leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."
The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't
steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"
Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the Ten Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all."
With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said; "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell?"
Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left me hat."
27 comments:
Dianne Hahahaha! That was a good one! Well, it looks like it's going to be warm one today. Several days ago, I ordered some underwear online. I knew the size and style I wanted so I was just being lazy by ordering online instead of going to the shopping center and getting them at the store. Well, they arrived Saturday and of the 5 pair, 3 of them are wrong. Wrong size and wrong style. So, it looks like I'm going to the store after all.
Dianne You have the worst luck with your dental issues. Are you eating really hard stuff? I cracked my upper denture once by eating almonds. They were unusually hard ones and I should have known better.
That football game was not great. At this point, all the teams are saying that they are working out the kinks. Well, I hope the 49ers get their kinks out soon.
HOdi I'm sure it has changed a lot since I was there. I wish I could remember what year it was. My brother was with us so I should ask him as he seems to remember everything. Anyway, we stayed at a hotel right on the beach on the east side of the island. One night when my brother and Jim (not yet my husband) were sleeping, Mom and I decided to go get Oreo cookies and milk. It was very rural where we were and few streets, and black as pitch. We came across a young couple at a shopping center and we basically hitched a ride in the back of their pickup. Good thing they weren't psycho killers! Mom and I laughed and laughed during our whole little escapade and for all the years later when we would talk about it. The men-folk never even knew we had left!
Dianne, that was cute :)
I am thinking you may need to get a whole new set of super strength teeth!
I think one of the 007 movie characters have them(made of shiny steel):)
Jodi, you better rest up or you will catch the next thing going around!!! Has Paul recovered ?
JL, I have ordered my undies online too. I am about to order more. I hope they are the right size! I hate returning things!
Busy week. My Niece will be getting married Friday. Her Mom is so ready for it to be over! Bridzilla time lol!
We will be staying at a hotel near the venue because it is a ways from our house and we don't need to be driving home late at night with a few drinks under our belts! Raquel had a few rooms blocked for wedding guests so I will be visiting with relatives while there.
Time to make dinner.......
Hello HOoters. Chad and I have been busy battling ants again. I called the pest control people again and the same guy came out and squirted stuff in the nooks and crannies around the stove and counter where the have been. Last Monday he did the same thing and for a few days it looked like they took the stuff back to their nest and they all disappeared. Then Friday they came back with a vengeance in bigger numbers than before. It's weird, they are only in the one area and the bug guy couldn't see where they are coming from. They are limited in what they can use now because the law banned the really harsh poison. I wouldn't want that in the house anyway, but I hope this time it does the trick!
SacBarb, I use over the counter traps for ants as soon as I see them. They eat the stuff and take it back to their nest and they never come back. I have Zoie, so I have to be careful where I place them. A cat would probably find them.
J/L, $45 a day for 24 hours and then another $15 to play with the other dogs, WOW! Todd takes his dog to Pet Smart Doggy Day Camp twice a week and pays $25 per day (8-10 hours). They have a big room where all the dogs can play with each other, but they have no outside area. Todd takes him so he can get some social time with other dogs. That's another reason why I got cats instead of a dog. They get lots of exercise running around the house chasing each other and they don't care about socializing. :) I have also learned that anything dropped on the floor becomes a cat toy! LOL
Dianne, I got our card today. Thanks so much for thinking of me. I wish you lived closer, too. I am sorry you are having so many dental issues. I hope you have insurance.
Jodi, you need a vacation at home to recover from your vacation.
Mary, Good call to stay in a hotel so you don't have to drive home right after the wedding so you can be safe.
Barb The dog care costs are high but I figure it is worth it. If she stays with Sue, it is in Sue's house with her own two dogs, cat, maybe other dogs, and an occasional kangaroo. LOL Ursula gets plenty of socializing just living there if I'm away. The extra $15 would be if I ask her to go ahead and take her on her usual mountain climbs, runs on the beach, etc., that she does Monday and Friday under normal circumstances. Sue works with Jack Hanna on occasion and used to work at Knott's Berry Farm with a wild animal act. She's really excellent with the dogs.
Mary Is this the niece you were not on good terms with after your last trip? Anyway, good idea to spend the night so you can enjoy the festivities and not worry about driving home.
LOL @ the shiny steel teeth remark. I think that character was named Jaws. I can't imagine Dianne with those teeth.
JL, It is my other Niece Raquel. She is a sweetheart. She was recently certified to be a medical assistant. She has had quite a year preparing for her Boards tests,holding down a full time job at a hospital and getting ready for her wedding and honeymoon!
Mary, Isn't Raquel the niece you brought to Judy's BABB? She is a very sweet girl and very pretty too. Give her my congratz.
J/L, Sue has very impressive credentials. It's important to feel comfortable and trust the people you chose to leave your animals with since they can't tell you if something is wrong!
Dianne, I hope you are feeling well today and that tooth isn't giving you too much trouble. Are you still going to the mountains this weekend?
Jodi, are you all back to your normal routine yet? Re-entry after vacation is always a bitch. :P
Mary Well, congrats to Raquel, all around. She sounds like a wonderful and impressive young woman. Bring lots of tissues to that wedding.
Barb I trust Sue completely with my dog. I knew her before from when I worked at the veterinary hospital. She would help us out at the dog vaccine clinic, giving vaccines to dogs. She is going for another visit to Africa in January. She will be going with a small, select group at staying at the park ranger's compound in the Congo, then she is going to be staying at Jack Hanna's house (I forget where that is in Africa), and then she will visit with a Maasai warrior friend of hers. She has an interesting life.
Hi...well I have a tale of woe to bore you all with..I called and got in with the dentist at 10:30 Monday. The one year old bridge was cracked and needed to be replaced with a temp bridge while they get another one made. While she was at it, she said the tooth next to it need a possible root canal and crown. Ended up not needing the root canal. I had the gas again and promptly threw up in their trash can....gross
I was there for five hours and now have a temp bridge on both sides. On the way home I heard crack and you got it, the first temp bridge from last week broke. I was drinking a milkshake as I was starving. Back I went and was there for another hour getting a new temp on that side. I can only eat soft food, no gum, etc., for at least two weeks u till one of the permanents come back --a month for for the other. The one year one is probably under warranty she thinks. I do have insurance of $1500 and that was gone last week. This is costing tons. I just tell them to put it on my tab. It doesn't hurt today but I'm pretty down about the whole thing. If we were scheduled for a cruise, I'd cancel.
Yes Barb, we are still going away this weekend. I paid a lot down a year ago. The snacks I bought will sure not be for me. I should lose some weight anyway. I'm not too excited about going. It's not about food, right? It's about the fun we will have and family to be with..that will be eating and snacking all the time!!!
Mary, have fun at the wedding. Great idea about getting the hotel that way you can relax. It will be like a little honeymoon!
JL, wow your dog lady sounds like quite the person. What an interesting life. It also sounds like Ursela is in good hands. Too bad about your underwear. I order it online too. It's always been right though
Jodi, have you gotten some rest yet? You are going to sleep for a day when you finally get a chance. Sorry about your loss. I know it's pre season but we all still like to win. We play again tomorrow night.
I got my nails done today after five weeks. I needed them done bad. Now I even have a little flower with a jewel on it. Cute.
Well, that's my long story and post today.
Dianne I feel so bad for you with all the dental problems. I've been there so I know how miserable it can be. Have you considered getting implants? I figure that wouldn't work for me as I had a lot of gum problems and they would have continued no matter what kind of tooth I had sitting in them. You will have to be creative with the snack foods for yourself. Pudding cups, applesauce, bananas, noodles. And there's always ice cream. :)
Well, temp bridge broke on soup again tonight. I'm just about ready to toss in the towel.
Went to lung dr today regarding my shortness of breath. After many tests today, I now have to have a CAT Scan, estrogen cardiogram and he felt he needed to send me home with oxygen for any activity like walking s my level drops. He's concerned about some MEDS I'm on that can cause shortness of breath and that iron is so low. I have a lot of Drs and dentists for September. That's my medical report for today.
We're supposed to leave town around noon to,or row but we shall see as I'll probably have to go to dentist again.
What's everyone doing today?
Dianne Well, gee, it looks like you are keeping the medical community in business. Seriously, I hope they get everything figured out. Are you asthmatic? It's a bad time of year for allergies. Even my dog is allergic to grass and is now on Benadryl.
The other day I went to the nearest shopping center to return the wrong type underwear that was sent to me in error only to find that the shop is no longer there. Today I went to a different shopping center that is farther away and the store is still there. thankfully. I was able to exchange the underwear for the correct size and style. I was on my way out of the shopping center and spotted a Mrs. Fields chocolate chip cookie shop and had to stop and buy two. I have no will-power whatsoever.
Yum, those cookies sound good except I'd be scared to try and eat them today. Glad you got your underwear exchanged.
Yes, I have asthma but no allergies. I might run away from home!!
Or more like from reality.
Dianne There have been many a day that I wanted to run away from reality, too. LOL Have you ever been tested for allergies? I was tested a few years back and I reacted to everything they tested me for; trees and grasses, dogs and cats, dust mites, and other stuff I don't remember right now. I shouldn't have worked at the vet hospital or owned 40+ cats and have a dog now that sleeps on my bed. Oh, well, such is life. I should have gotten rid of my goose down pillows but the only concession I made was to get special pillow covers that are supposed to help put a barrier between me and the pillow. Basically, I'm allergic to stuff inside the house and outside so I'm kind of screwed.
New blog up!
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