by Dianne
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary.Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, “May I ask what the turkey did?”
13 comments:
LOL!!! Thanks for the laugh Dianne!!
Well, I am happy to report that I am thrilled with my new hair stylist! She looked so relieved when I told her I loved the color and cut and asked for another appointment. I may have scared her when I told her right off that I did not like "black" hair,or short haircuts. I also mentioned that my hair was very thin and curly and that I pull the curl out when drying it. A side bonus, it was half the price as my other place. $60 for cut and color, and only a 15 minute drive compared to 35 minute drive to Lansing.
Today is warm and beautiful! Yesterday morning I woke up to a snow covered patio! Hopefully spring sticks around!!
Oh no Mary, light snow here and rain mostly....coming your way but it’s from California. Glad you like your new hair Gal. Thats a big change to do. Nice less $ and closer. I pay $90 for color, cut and style. I changed a few years ago after 20 years. I really liked my girl but it was over 30 min away and not a great area. I now go 10 min from home and really like my stylist too. I’ve gone to the same nail person for about eight years. I followed her a couple of times. How’s Jim doing this week? No smoking, right? I’m sure it’s really hard for him.
Barb, are they done yet? Are you totally exhausted? I’ll bet it looks beautiful. What did you decide about the painting? Hope you can rest awhile now. What is the date you all go to Vegas?
JL, fun that you have a cruise all booked. I keep thinking we should cancel ours as so many unpredicted expenses keep coming up. LOUIS went to get his teeth cleaned and came with a scheduled tooth removal and implant next week. Between that, taxes, him retiring ..it just makes me nervous. He says no that we’re going this summer on our trip and cruise. Looks like you will have a lot with your daughter. How nice of her to get you furniture. I think grey sounds nice. Like the others say..get a couple of colorful pillows. Do you have It Yet?
Not much new here. Sometimes that’s good.
Seems like our blog is drifting. Not much posting anymore :( I don’t have much more to post since Friday. Wanted to go to movie yesterday but really couldn’t find anything that looks good. Ban and I went to lunch and then hung out at Starbucks for awhile a(we ordered something just to be clear) lol.
Snowed and cold yesterday and today sun and 70. I never get used to our weather. I forget every year. What’s up with the three of you? Hope all is okay.
Dianne LOL @ the blog! Thanks for sending it. It was a good one.
I'm sorry that I haven't been more attentive to the blog. I do read it every day but usually don't have anything that I feel is worth sharing. There's nothing happening around here except that I feel disgusted for myself for all the weight I regained. I can't seem to get enthused about really committing to doing anything about it. Maybe after the Vegas trip I'll be able to buckle down and just do it.
LOL at you and Barb ordering at Starbucks. Being white and female, I think you could sit and not order all day long.
I didn't do anything exciting over the weekend. I just did some housework and a little bit of yard work. The weather has been really nice. Other than that, I spent some time catching up on shows I had recorded. Oh, I guess it was Friday that I went shopping and bout a new top. I saw a couple more that I liked okay but they didn't have my size so I ordered them online.
Mary Yay for finding a new hairdresser that you like and that can do your hair the way you like it. The fact that she is cheaper and so much closer is sure an added bonus. My friends Jane and John would travel two hours to still see their hairdresser until they had a falling out recently. They would make a fun day of it, going out to dinner, etc.
A couple of months ago they were out to dinner with the hairdresser and the hairdresser had downed a couple of glasses of wine and started being testy. Some kind of difference of opinion occurred and my friend said, "Well, what I think is...." and she was interrupted by the hairdresser who exclaimed, "I don't give a f**k what you think" then threw money on the table and walked out. That was the end of that relationship.
I really like my hairdresser. She's very sweet and puts up with me when I want to change things up, not knowing if I'll like the result or not. One time my hair turned out too dark for my comfort. It always kind of shocked me when I would see myself in the mirror. I couldn't blame her for it, though. I'm the one that wanted to try something new.
Barb Well, how's it going? Are they about done with the flooring? I understand about the painting. It seems one thing leads to another. With the new sofas coming, I feel like I should get a new throw rug for the living area that would better compliment the color. The problem, of course, is money which I don't want to spend. Especially now when we have our Vegas trip coming up and then I have a cruise in late February. I'm hoping to get my credit card balances paid down some by then. I live as if I have money. LOL Can't take it with you, right? The older I get, the more I have that attitude.
As for the new sofas; I am now more worried about the material rather than the color. My daughter did buy me a "care package" which allows me to get two cleaning kits per year for 5 years (or have them come out and professionally clean). If I don't have the professional cleaners come out during that time, I get the money back. I can't use water out of the faucet to spot clean as that would leave a water ring. I guess distilled water is okay. I wouldn't worry about it so much if I didn't have a pet.
Checking in on a boring day lol!
I had a funny not funny experience today. My reg. recycling center closed to public. You have to show proof of residency in order to drop them off! I live in the country so have no close options. I called around and found that our reg garbage pick up co. has a large recycling place in Lansing. It is about 30 miles from me, but I am willing to go there since it is free. Well, I took about 15 bags of months accumulations from my garage. I found the place easy enough. Clean & neat place. One problem, the large container for plastic had only two small openings about 14x14". and about 8' from the ground with no steps or platform! No way could I reach the opening! A tall gentleman saw my dilemma and tossed them in one by one! I didn't have the heart to tell him I had more bags in the Jeep! After he left I tried throwing them in. Another person saw me and asked if they could help. Again they tossed the plastic bottles in one by one!. No way was I going to drag out the rest of the full bags! I brought them back home vowing to bring a step latter with me next time or find a better place!
Jim is doing amazing! I am so proud of him! Today was the last home care visit. Thursday we are going to get the heart sensor put in. His voice is not back to normal yet. The long time on the ventilator left his throat pretty raw.
Jim & my house have been smoke free for over two months now! Hooray!!
Zoie gets her grooming tomorrow. Her hair has never been this long! I let it grow out because of our long cold winter! She is looking pretty scruffy poor baby!
Barb, love that rug under the pool table! The floor looks great too!
Hi....well, today was a different day. We went to mortuary and made all our funeral plans. It wasnt as hard as I thought especially for LOUIS a(he’s more emotional than me). It was all business and we both feel so much better having this all in writing. There will be no questions when that day arrives. SO like I said...a different day.
Our weather turned beautiful yesterday afternoon. Going up to 80 over the weekend...finally. Seems like everything turned green overnight. Barb and I are taking a little 45 min trip up in the mountains on Sunday. We’ve tried three other times but the weather always turns bad. We are just going for lunch. I have a stye on my eye I think and it hurts. I’ve been putting warm washcloth on it and think it’s a little better today.
Mary, so glad to hear your house is smoke free. Yea for Jim. Isn’t it nice? How long will the heart chip be on him? Is it to monitor his heart for a period of time? I guess I don’t fully understand. Oh gosh, I can just picture you tossing bags to the dumpster. Nice people to help you. I’m sure they wouldn’t have minded to finish it up for you. I’ll bet someone will help you again when you take out your ladder. I totally have a visual of you.
JL, glad you finally went shopping. I recd four tops in mail today and they all fit...yippee so I don’t have to take them back. I just have from last week to return. When I return I end up buying more. Since I went down a size I don’t have very many tops for summer. I’ll need them for cruise in January too but hoping I lose more by then..we shall see. I’m just so stuck. Wow, that’s something about that hairdresser. I wonder if she even remembers about what happened. .
Barb, how are things going? Keep thinking about you. What did you decide on the painting? Hope you’re doing ok.
Mary The visual of you trying to throw recyclables into that very tall bin is pretty funny. Why in the world do they have such a high bin? I understand they would need a big one but it also needs to actually be usable. It makes no sense. I'm glad someone came along to give you a hand. Before you go next time, give them a call. Tell them about your experience. Maybe there is another area or location that is more user friendly. It doesn't hurt to ask.
That's wonderful that Jim is doing so well. Isn't it nice to have clean air in the house? Not only is it better for his health, but for yours and your son's, too. I wish I wouldn't have smoked for so many years. How did his procedure go with the sensor? It's amazing the things they can do now.
Dianne Well, that was a different kind of day you had. I need to think about these things, too. I think I've made my wishes pretty clear that I just want cremation, no service. I just haven't specified what to do with my ashes. It truthfully doesn't matter to me but I guess throwing me in the wind somewhere overlooking a beach would be nice.
The tops I ordered online haven't arrived yet. I hope I like them when I put them on. Unfortunately, I have NOT been losing weight and have basically regained everything I had lost. My plan is to knuckle down about diet when I return from the Vegas trip. My birthday will also be over then so no more birthday dinners. My friend, Kathy, is taking me to Benihana's on Thursday as an early birthday dinner and I'm really looking forward to it.
I got my hair done Thursday and then went to the nail salon and got my acrylics done. They were getting pretty bad but I was putting it off as long as I could thinking they will still look pretty good for the Vegas trip.
Barb Monday I had a junk hauling company come and take away the old sofa and love seat. I was expecting to pay about $200 per their online estimator tool. The two guys who came were really nice and I whined a little about my age and the head guy asked if $150 sounded okay. Of course it did, especially since another outfit had given me a price of $280 over the phone. There could have been another option but that was a local guy and a few of his reviews said he failed to show up. That was not an option. Of course, I now want to replace an end table, table lamp and throw rug. That's going to have to wait, though.
I'm liking my new love seat and sofa but they are larger than my old stuff. Not really so much in length but in height. My old sofas had backs the same height as the arms with unattached back cushions that came up a little higher. The new ones have backs higher than the arms with attached cushions that come up even higher than that. I'd say they are about a 10 inches higher than my old ones. This makes no difference with the love seat as it is against a wall but the sofa more or less bisects the room, separating the living area from the dining area. These pieces are large for a small house. I'm getting used to it, though, and they are comfortable and give my back good support.
Dianne, I had not given much thought to "the end" until Jim was hospitalized. Our family Dr gave us a booklet called "Five wishes". It is very interesting. You fill it out, get witnesses to sign and have it notarized. Most of the questions are about whether or not I want life support when there doesn't seem to be any hope of recovery. It even asks what music I want played if I have a reg funeral. I am stuck on the part of casket or urn lol!
Justlin,Good for you and the whining lol!Every dollar counts!
Do your feet touch the ground when you sit on your new couch? Mine don't!
I keep putting off getting my nails done too. I took all the shellac off and now my nails look ugly!
I thought Jim was getting the implant when we went to the specialist, but it was just a pre implant discussion. It gets put in Tues the 1st of May. It's only a 10 minute procedure, but a 3 hr total wait. In a few weeks he has an appointment to discuss the surgery on the aorta. Jim is very nervous about that and I can't say as I blame him. It is a touchy surgery from what I hear.
A good friend of mine retired yesterday. We went to her retirement party for a couple of hours. I even had two beers lol! I'm a cheap date!
Barb, where are you?
New blog
Post a Comment