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Saturday, May 19, 2018

The Mommy Test

by Dianne

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.

“Why?” my daughter asked.

“Because it’s been on the ground, you don’t know where it’s been, it’s dirty, and probably has germs” I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, “Mommy, how do you know all this stuff?  You are so smart.”

I was thinking quickly. “All moms know this stuff. It’s on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don’t let you be a Mommy.”

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.

“OH…I get it!” she beamed, “So if you don’t pass the test you have to be the daddy.”

“Exactly” I replied back with a big smile on my face.

21 comments:

  1. Dianne Once again, thanks for the blog. I'm not sure if it's best suited for the past Mother's Day or the upcoming Father's Day. LOL

    Congrats on your weight loss. You are looking really good. Are you doing it with Weight Watchers? I plan on getting back on the program as soon as I finish celebrating my birthday. My friends are taking me out to dinner at The House of Prime Rib in SF which is a real treat for me. My husband and I used to go there for special celebrations. We had reservations for the 29th until I just realized I have my annual physical that same afternoon so we need to change our reservations.

    I'm so glad your rash is clearing up. It seems the older we get, the more mysterious the ailments we get are. I have fluid retention problems (probably a lot to do with weight) and when in Las Vegas, I was out and about so didn't take my afternoon water pills. My legs and feet swelled up more than usual and I still haven't gotten back to normal.

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  2. Mary That little doggie planter was really cute. You should have splurged and got it for yourself. I wish I knew what I was doing as far as gardening and plants go but I am clueless.

    That's great that you were able to get together with Karina before she moves again. Boy, I wouldn't like all that moving but I guess she has it down to a science by now. I've been in this house 47 years and the amount of accumulated crap is ridiculous. I need to get back in the routine of discarding or donating something every single week in order to lighten the load around here.

    My daughter left on a road trip to Boise yesterday with just her two dogs. I really wish she had another human with her but she's very self assured and travels alone often. I admire it but worry, too.

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  3. Barb Yesterday I got to go see the musical, "The Color Purple" at the Orpheum in S.F.. It was good and I had a good time with my friend, Jane, and her fellow season ticket holders. If I would have known Jane back when she and her group started getting season tickets, I might have done it, too. Anyway, one of the four ladies was unable to go as she wanted to stay home and be involved with her granddaughter's prom preparations. This is the second time I've gotten to take advantage of someone not being able to go. Afterwards, we went and had an early dinner at a small but very popular restaurant that makes excellent baked parmesan halibut. As you wait to be seated, they offer you a glass of white wine which is a nice touch.

    Did you watch any of the royal wedding? I caught some of it on the computer. I thought Megan looked very elegant and sophisticated. I saw that Elton made it, fresh off his Caesar's Palace gig.

    I've been trying to catch up on some of the shows I recorded while we were away. I'm really enjoying my new comfy sofas. My dog is enjoying the big sofa, too. I take up one cushion and she takes up two. LOL

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  4. Justlin,How nice that you are being spoiled lol! That restaurant sounds wonderful!
    I see Vegas was a bit hard on your legs! I am good if I keep to carpeted areas in Vegas.
    I used to jog that whole Strip, Circus Circus to the Excalibur! I loved it! Now I can barley make it one Casino to another!
    I made Jim reservations for a Monday to Monday trip to Vegas yesterday. He had to cancel the last one due to his stroke. After using his voucher and paying for seats & carry-on, he only had to pay $106. I am thinking of joining him on Thurs and flying home with him on Monday. Friends of ours may do the same thing. I think we are all secretly worried about his being there so long, alone.

    Dianne, I see you are having a good time on your mini trip.

    Where are you SacBarb?

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  5. Hi.....how’s everyone Doing? I’m doing much better...thank goodness. That was quite a weird issue last week. Dermo totally released me but still on two pills every day for about another week

    JL, yes I’m still going to ww. I, unfortunately, don’t track or I’d really lose weight. I’m just not good at doing it every day. I never miss a meeting hardly. I’m like going with my friend and I drive 45 min one way. There is one right by my house but I like to make an afternoon with my friend. The new program is really easier. Example: last night I bought a ready made salad, 1/2 pound shrimp and cantaloupe. It was enough and tasty. The whole dinner was just a couple of points for salad dressing...everything 0 points on new program. I eat a lot of popsicles too. I went shopping today to get a couple of tops for vacation and shockingly I went down another size. I could hardly believe it! I don’t think I’ve seen this size since birth. Your bday dinner sounds great. We went out for mine that we never did Saturday night. Had steak and twice baked potato and corn chowder. How’s your daughter on her trip? Does she visit people in Idaho?

    Mary, yes, we had a great couple of days away. Weather was perfect so sat on deck right by river a lot. Drove around the mountains, hung out at a couple of stores and ate ice cream cones. Why is on vacation do we always think we need ice cream? I sat out early morning on the deck and I guess another cabin had a mama bear and two cubs ramble by their deck. Darn it. I wanted to see them!
    I’ll bet Jim is excited to have a trip planned. It will fun if you and your friends could join him.

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  6. J/L, I woke up at 4:30 on Saturday and watched the whole thing. I also napped some during the rest of the day. I find all the pomp and ritual fascinating. This wedding was unlike Diana and Charles' and William and Kate's. It was refreshing. Meghan looked beautiful in both of her dresses. Elton must have left Vegas immediately after his last performance. He probably has his own private jet.

    I have seen The Color Purple on the stage and enjoyed it very much. I really love the live performances.

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  7. Mary, You should join Jim in LV. He would probably appreciate it. We really liked the Venitian. We all did better on the machines there. I didn't win anything, but I lost less there and I was able to play longer. LOL

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  8. Dianne, I had this post written at the same time as the above post, but apparently I got distracted and didn't publish it. so here it is. Congratulations on your weight loss. You are inspiring me to 'get with the program.' I know I would feel better if I would drop this weight I have gained. I am almost back at the same place as when I started the Kaiser program and I am disgusted with myself.

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  9. Well, we are all finished with Emilees graduation weekend. It was a nice graduation with 650 students and was done in two hours. It was 95 outside for pictures...hot! Today was the party. Very nice turnout and beautiful day. Can’t believe she is old enough to be graduating. We have Tristan’s party next Saturday. Busy month. We went out for a very fancy dinner last night and I so overate. I even had margarita and desert. I felt horrible when we got home physically and mentally. I should have never had the desert. Glad today wasn’t weigh in day.

    Barb, you’ll get back on the band wagon. It’s so dang hard and frustrating. Plus, we like to eat! Thank you for the congratulations. Needless to say, I’m nervous about vacation approaching. Don’t be disgusted with yourself ...we’re human and we can move on tomorrow.

    JL, I sometimes miss my season tickets to the plays. We had them a long time. I was getting not crazy about driving downtown anymore. It sounds like a very nice restaurant you went to before or after the show. Btw, how was that prime rib restaurant you went to for your birthday? Sounds like you had a nice birthday. I watched the royal wedding. I thought Megan looked beautiful. I was reading the new rules she must follow now that she’s royalty for example if she’s somewhere the queen is she can’t go to bed until the Queen does, no selfies, light colored nail polish, only cross ankles, no autographs. I could do all those things to be royalty.

    Mary, have you decided to go to Vegas? When is Jim going? How’s your weekend going? Nice weather? I was looking at Branson weather where we are going and it said 99 degrees with 53% humidity. That does not sound fun to me. I will be rushing to the car air from events very quickly. We are not used to humidity here.

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  10. Dianne We had to cancel the dinner reservation at the House of Prime Rib in S.F. when I realized I had my annual physical that day (this Tuesday). I didn't want to reschedule that as the next available appointment for a physical wasn't until July. Getting into the House of Prime Rib is almost as difficult. The next time we could get in for a 5:30 reservation isn't until June so that's when we're going. We could get in earlier but we don't want to eat dinner at 9:00.

    I was thinking I would get serious about WW again after the prime rib dinner but I better hunker down sooner than late June. Don't feel bad about having dessert at Emilee's celebration. Maybe next time you can get someone to share dessert and then you will only feel half as guilty. LOL Your granddaughters have become very pretty young women. Does Emilee have any plans for rhe future?

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  11. Barb My friend, Jane, and I are going to see The Humans at the Orpheum on June 10. It won the Tony for best play in 2016 and it's not part of Jane's season tickets. I'm really looking forward to it. On the 9th I've signed up for another paper collage class. I need to look at landscapes for some inspiration before I go.

    Today is a beautiful, clear, sunny day. It's quite a relief from the gray and drizzling weather we've had lately. It's hard for me to feel motivated on the gray days. Yesterday, I pretty much just got cozy on the couch and caught up with some recorded TV shows. My dog gets kind of excited when I sit down next to her on the couch. I think she thinks that I'm sitting in her bed. LOL

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  12. Mary Did you decide to join Jim in Vegas? And how about your friends? I think I would not feel comfortable about Jim being on his own for so long, either, given recent events. How does he feel about it? Is he anxious at all? How's he doing with the no smoking? That may be another reason you should go.....to keep an eye on that. Speaking of smoke, the smoke in the Vegas casinos sure bothered my asthma. There was an area in the Venetian that I felt had better air than the other casinos.

    I have a mole in the front yard that is really wreaking havoc. It's been there quite a while and I kept hoping it would move along but it hasn't. I don't want to poison it so I got a stake to put in the ground that is battery operated to emit some kind of vibration that is supposed to drive it away. We shall see. I thin I need a neighbor to get it in the ground for me as you are not supposed to hammer on it and our ground is pretty hard.

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  13. It’s 4:30 am and I’m wide awake eating a banana ....why you ask? Hmmm, good question. We have lunch plans then I have a strong feeling a nap will be involved today. Why is it I always feel energetic when I wake so early? Oh, the trials of being a woman!

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  14. Ho Gals! Whew, I have been busy this week! Most of it boring.
    I have been trying to fill out the papers I was sent from my knee Dr. So many questions and things to take care of before my appt. They want blood work and xrays of my knee and all on a cd! He was my original Dr, so I hope he still has that info! I have to go into Lansing tomorrow to my Local Union Hall for more info, ins. wise. Not sure I am still considered to be under comp, now that I am on SS.

    We have been having hot scorching weather! I am glad we decided not to do the outside Karaoke contest this year! I had another Karaoke friend cover for us this year.
    I was in the middle of cooking steaks, corn on the cob, baked potatoes and asparagus, when out power went out! Temps were in the high 90s! Luckily I was cooking everything on the grill! We were only out about 3 hrs, thank goodness!

    Yesterday I participated in 3 Memorial cemetery services, along with the American Legion color guards. It was a scorcher! I had to run home, and shower and get dressed up for a 3:00 wedding and reception.

    I still haven't made up my mind about Vegas. Jim seems excited. I really only worry about his return flight. Our airport here is small and not as complicated as Vegas, not to mention all that walking!
    Jim has not been smoking at all since I scolded him about the puffs his so called friends were giving him! I chewed them out lol! He told me, he no longer goes out with the smokers at the VFW. He seemed proud of himself telling me, so that made me happy!

    I hope you all had a great week end.

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  15. OOPS, I didn't mean to c
    all you " Ho gals lol, but I guess we kind of are bwa ha ha!

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  16. Hi...Well, I’m getting ready to start my packing process tomorrow. I’ve been laying a few things out as I go. You guys know how long it takes me to pack!

    Mary, it sounds like Jim is all ready to go. Maybe he should ask for a wheelchair at airport. They will push him to plane and luggage. Do you think he would do it there? He should be very proud of not smoking. It’s so great that he stopped and I would have gotten after those friends too.
    Boy, it sounds like you had a very busy weekend. We did too with graduation nevdsy and then the party the next. We have my grandsons party next Saturday. I’m glad the ceremonies are all over. What are you going to have done with your knee or do you know? I think you had said this is the knee you had replaced, right? Did you get hurt at Work? Does Vegas any non smoking areas? The place we are going to in Kentucky has a no smoking floor. I called to check. We would have gone anyway but I wanted just to check.

    JL, did you get your mole taken care of yet? That’s great you’ve signed up for a class again. You always seem to enjoy them. How did your physical go today? Hope all was good. Thank you for the compliments on the girls. Emilee is going in state in Metro University and living on campus in a studio little apartment. The school is in Denver but I think it will be good for her to be out on her own. She got a job at Penney’s at went to orientation today. This is her first job. I should have shared Louis’s desert the other night...I was being out of control. I’ve been really watching it since Friday night and drinking a lot of water. I hate to have a gain tomorrow right before vacation but I probably will....dang it!

    Barb, your house all back in order now? I would imagine you took some rest time after your trip. This waking up at 4:30 isn’t very fun, is it? I have totally turned into an early person but still stay up until about midnight. I do take a nap once in awhile.

    I’m going back to the Dermo Thursday just to be sure this rash is under control with leaving for so long. I’m such a worrier. Well, hope you are all doing good.

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  17. Dianne Well, I didn't wake up until 11:00 today for some unknown reason. Probably because I set the alarm for 8:00 yesterday since I had a doctor appointment. I guess my body couldn't handle the shock. LOL You know you're getting old when you have to have a recovery period from waking up early. Anyway, it was just an annual wellness check and blood draw. I've got my lab results now via the internet and it seems I'm in good shape for the shape I'm in. Now if I could just lose some of this weight, I'd be doing even better.

    No, I haven't dealt with the mole issue yet. Our ground is really hard and this plastic stake apparatus has to be pushed into the ground, not hammered. I think I'm going to have to ask one of my neighbors to help me get it into the ground. I didn't see any new mountains of dirt out there last night. Maybe the little guy has moved on now that I'm ready to deal with him. Ha! That's probably wishful thinking.

    Are you all packed now?

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  18. Mary I'm so sorry that your knee is bothering you so much. I hope you can get it taken care of soon. You are so busy doing for others all the time. You must take time to take care of yourself.

    We are definitely not having scorching weather here. Last weekend was lovely but today is overcast and breezy. It doesn't feel like spring at all. It's more of a stay home and be cozy kind of day. Maybe I'll do that.

    I would be angry at Jim's friends who were helping him cheat on his road to being a non-smoker. True friends would be supporting him even if they wanted his company out in the smoking area. I'm sure glad he's doing so well now. It's very hard to give up smoking after so many years and the cigarette manufacturers have added stuff to the tobacco to make it as addictive as possible.

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  19. Barb Well, the Bachelorette was interesting last night. I can hardly wait for you to catch up. One guy I hated as soon as he got out of the limo. I think you will, too. Another guy I hated more and more as the show went on. I watched Jimmy Kimmel last night since Colbert was a re-run and he predicted which guy she will end up with at the end. I am agreeing with him. Apparently, he has a very good record of choosing who it will be.

    I hope you had a nice evening with your son, sister, and Arch. What did Chad cook? I went out last night for dinner with my friend, Jane. Usually her husband is with us but he wasn't feeling well.

    I need to make a tech appointment for my dog sometime in June as she will be due for her vaccine and heartworm test. I also need to get more tranquilizers for the annoying July 4 celebrations that scare her so much. You'd thin by now she'd know nothing bad is going to happen to her. She was born on July 3 so maybe it's a really deep seated fear from day one, literally.

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  20. Justlin, I don't see the orthopedic Dr until the 18th of June. I seem to be losing more strength and getting more pain as time goes on. I really hate it! I still limp along with my tai chi every morning. I am used to long walks, but now have to stop at short distances because my knee kind o locks up and hurts. I finally got my paperwork sent to the Ortho. office. Just need to get a copy of my last ex-ray and blood work done before I go for my appmt.
    I am not looking forward to the the 4th of July fireworks either! I was pleasantly surprised that non were set of during Memorial week end.

    Dianne, Jim actually asked for a non, smoking room in Vegas. He will be staying 3 days at the Venetian and 4 at Treasure Island. All but one day comped.
    I forget where you are going. How long will you be gone?

    We had some heavy rains today. Jim got caught in one down pour while walking Queenie, I got caught in an other, walking Zoie lol! Kind of felt good after the 90 temps!

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