by Dianne
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family Pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girl friend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no Idea you were this religious."The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was THE pharmacist."
29 comments:
Dianne Hahahaha! That was a good one! Talk about AWKWARD!
I'm glad you are enjoying yourself so much. It sounds like you are busy, busy, busy with all those shows every day. I think that heat and humidity would just about kill me. God bless the person who invented air conditioning. I bet it's busy there during the holidays so you should probably make reservations now if you want to go back during Thanksgiving.
It's nice that there is a washer and dryer there. Did that help you cut down on how much to pack for the trip? I think I would end up packing just as much as always unless I was going to be gone a long time. It would certainly be handy, though, just in case of unforeseen circumstances.
Mary My condolences on the loss of your friend. I think I will attend a celebration of life for a local woman who died last month and would have been 101 in a couple of weeks. It will be held at the Sanchez Art Center where she was very active. She was a local activist, painter, and happened to be my son's second grade teacher. I used to run into her once in a while at a local coffee shop and she would always ask how my son was doing. She was a very special and unique person.
Today looks beautiful, so far. Yesterday morning it was sunny and a bit warm here then I traveled one mile west to go to a coffee shop and was wishing I had a sweater or jacket with me. It was overcast and cool along the coastline. That's one thing about the Bay Area. If you don't like the weather, just travel for a few minutes. We have a lot of micro-climates in the Bay Area.
Barb My back is much better, no thanks to my adventures on Sunday. My friend Jane and I went into S.F to the Orpheum Theater to see the play "The Humans" starring Richard Thomas and Pamela Reed. Jane drove and it was our plan to park at the Civic Center parking garage and then walk the couple of miles to the theater. Well, little did we know, that there wa some kind of Indian or Hindu celebration going on at the Civic Center and the police kept blocking us from getting to where we needed to go to enter the underground parking. It was soooo frustrating and time is ticking away and performance start time is getting closer and closer. Not knowing what the hell we are doing at this point, we parked at the first indoor parking place that we came to. We are blocks away from the theater but were afraid we wouldn't find anything available closer. We are also in the Tenderloin among the street people and homeless people. It was definitely a walk on the wild side. We were moving at a very fast pace, though, and I'm surprised my sciatica didn't act up worse than it did. We just needed to keep moving, walking in the street at one point in order to avoid a bunch of people hanging out on the sidewalk. This is not what you'd want the tourists to see of the city. Anyway, no sooner did we make it into the lobby of the theater than they blinked the lights to let every one know to get to their seats. Talk about perfect timing! I couldn't believe we had made it. We had great seats. Center aisle, 6th row.
I had enrolled to take another collage class last Saturday but it got cancelled for low enrollment. Boo hoo! I was really looking forward to it.
Too funny Dianne! You sure have been lucky on this trip. You are one Trivia smarty pants lol! It's nice to get away eh? I know it's only been 3 months since my trip, but I sure an getting antsy to go somewhere again!
Justlin, That was quite an adventure you had before the play! I was worried about your return trip to your car. Was it dark? You made it home, so must be no street peeps jumped you lol!
Pretty cool naming the Center after my maiden name "Sanchez" LOL. Your friend sounds like a gem. You are pretty special yourself! :)
Yo Barb!!!
Hellooooo. I really laughed out loud at that blog. I truly didn't see that coming.
So Dianne, what was Neal Sedaka's most popular song? Oh! Carol? Breaking Up Is Hard To Do? I can't remember any more. It's so cool that you knew the answer. Are you still going to meet up with Bev?
J/L, Did you really mean you were going to walk two miles from the parking lot to the theater? I'm sure you must have meant two blocks! After that grueling walk we had around Caesar's, I can't believe you'd want to walk that far! Every time I have gone to the theater in SF, I have gone with Sports Leisure Travel just so I don't have to park. The let us off at the door and pick us up at the same place. The prices are very reasonable and we always had pretty good seats. I have not heard of that show you saw. Maybe it will come to Sac.
Mary, So you're antsy to go somewhere, are you going to Vegas with Jim or has he already gone?
Barb Oops! Yes, the plan was to walk 2-3 blocks (not miles) to the theater. LOL No way in hell I'd been wanting to park 2 miles away. As it turned out, we walked further than expected plus we had to dodge all sorts of groups of homeless and sketchy people, to boot. It still wasn't as hard of a walk as that trek at Caesar's but at least the Caesar's people weren't scary.
I'm so happy to have my computer back right now. There was an update overnight last night and when I turned it on this morning there was a notice that something had not installed correctly and that Microsoft had been notified. Since then I was not able to get anything but a completely black screen. I was starting to have computer withdrawals.
Mary Fortunately, the play was a matinee that started at 2:00 so at least our mingling with the weird, the derelict, and the homeless took place during daylight hours. The next time I go to a matinee at the Orpheum, I'll check first to see if any big events are being held at the Civic Center. If there is, BART (a fast rail system) will be the way to go. Of course, there are homeless hanging out there, too, but I guess there is safety in numbers. One of the stations is very nearby the theater.
Dianne I'm so glad you are having such fun on your vacation. Give Bev a hug for me.
Well, tonight was our last show for this trip. We’ve been here for ten days and counting the show I won....18 shows total. I think tonight was the biggest production show we’ve seen here. It was like a Vegas show and a beautiful harp player too. It was a family of 7 boys and one girl. These family shows here are so talented ..it’s amazing. We had lunch at a Mel’s Diner where the servers sing as they work. I’ve even been dealing with the heat and humidity. Oh btw, I did drop by the Coach store. Tomorrow we leave for Louisville, Ky, to see Louis’s daughters until Wednesday and lunch with Beverly on Tuesday. We will go gambling for a few hours one afternoon too. On fathers Day we are going on a paddle wheel down the Ohio river and have bbq on the trip. LOUIS says he needs to go home and rest. I can’t believe we’ve been here ten days.
JL, I was wondering about you walking two miles too. I thought that was quite a walk to a theater! Glad it was daytime on you’re way back. I’ve done wash four times but it’s one of those small stackable and no, I still packed a lot but I think LOUIS cut back. It was nice to have a washer and dryer here. We’ve made our hotel reservations and two shows for Thanksgiving week. The hotels are very reasonable here. This time we were in a time share. Sorry your class was canceled. Have you been doing any painting lately? I haven’t heard you mention it for awhile. Hope your back is still feeling better.
Barb, Breaking Up Is Hard To Do was the song. Another lady thought it was Calendar Girl. I’m surprised I just blurted it out and they heard me. Do you have your house back in order now? When is your reunion? I’ll bet that will be fun. You have one every year, right?
Mary, I’m not a trivia person at all..I just got lucky this time. We saw a show the other night with Jerry Presley..Elvis’s first cousin. He’s a twin as Elvis was too. Elvis’s twin died at birth. I didn’t know about that story. Jerry makes himself resemble Elvis and sings his songs. He’s actually pretty good. He’s 65..not cute like that one in the picture ...now that guy was cute! Mary, I’m like you...always ready for a trip. I was wondering the same as Barb..has the Vegas trip happened yet with Jim?
Well, guess I’d better head to sleep as we need to leave early tomorrow as we have a long drive ahead of us. Night all
Hello gals!
Justlin,I was so impressed with your 2 mile walk lol! I had a feeling you meant blocks, not miles! Whew, glad it was a matinee! How did you fix your 'puter? Did you just have to reboot?
SacBarb,Jim leaves this coming Monday. I am still not decided on going. I am keeping an eye on him. He seems excited about going. It's his vaca, so I hate to but in. He still tires easily. I know he will rest when he needs to. I worry more about his not eating properly . He is such a tightwad, for a gambler lol He hates spending money on food! He promised he would be good. I keep checking the airlines to make sure there are still seats available. I can only go "Allegiant" . It is the cheapest way to go. I'm not paying $600 for a short trip!
Dianne. I can't believe you went to so many shows! No way would Jim sit still that long lol! We can no long road trips due to Jim's condition and I am not much on driving long distances.I love Neil Sedaka songs! I don't think I would have guessed right lol!
It has been very hot here. If I don't get Zoie's walk in early in the morning, I went until it cools off, usually after 6pm. We went to a friend's Birthday party tonight. They had a pool, but I only sat at the edge and soaked my feet. The water was pee warm lol!
Hello Ladies.
The saga continues with the house next door. The owner has apparently decided to have even more work done on it and the tenant population has grown even bigger. I honestly don't know how many people are living there now, but the driveway looks like a used car lot. They have poured concrete in front to widen the driveway. I am assuming they plan to accommodate even more cars. They have two dogs that hang out on the lawn even no one is out in the front yard. I live in the county and there is a leash law for all animals not confined to fenced yard. I live on a street that dead ends into a park, and a lot of people use my street to access the park, many with dogs. The dog(s) next door have apparently charged at some of the people and dogs as they passed that house. Friday the dogs came over to my yard and pooped and then went home! My gardener has actually complained about it happening before. So yesterday they were on my lawn again and Chad decided to call 311, the non-emergency equivalent to 911. It seems we were the third call they received yesterday about those dogs. So they told Chad they were going to come out to pick them up, probably Monday. I feel badly for the dogs, but I don't want anyone to get hurt.
In addition to that issue, I have another problem. I can't prove my theory, bu I am pretty sure the same neighbors ran into my cement brick flower bed and broke the whole end. They have been using a rented trailer attached to one of the cars to haul stuff and I feel certain that when they were either backing in or out of their driveway, they hit the flower bed that separates my lawn from their driveway. I asked one of the men that was outside if he happened to see how it happened and of course he said no, but later, another guy came over to Chad when he was outside and said he bought some grout and would fix it for us. I don't really want him to fix it, because after seeing some of the work they have done, i.e. the roof, I don't trust him to do a good job, but I feel that was almost an admission of guilt without actually saying they broke it.
They have been there so long now, I am afraid the owner is going to have a hard time getting them out of that house. They basically have squatters rights now. I know for a fact that they have used that "right" before and it took 18 months to get them out of the house they were living in at that time.
SacBarb, your neighbors sound like a weird bunch! I don't know how people live like that! I know times are tough, but that's crazy! Is there a woman in the bunch?
The poop on the lawn would be my last straw! Even out here in the country, living on 5 1/2 acres, I make sure all dog poop is picked up! At first Jim didn't agree in picking it all up, until he stepped in it, in the dark lol!
I would not be happy if my dog was attacked while walking! We worry about that. One of our friends took is tiny dog to town one day and was attacked by a pit-bull. It died instantly :( That tiny dog was a town favorite. Sadly a lot of young children witnessed the attack. Be careful with the neighbors. I worry about you!
Mary, Yes there is a woman in the bunch next door. She looks like she is 90, but I know she is only in her 40s. She has a bunch of teeth missing and every time I see her she has a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other. My husband would have said "she looked like she was rode hard and put away wet!" It was one of his Okie idioms. One of the dogs is a boxer and the other looks like a pit bull, but it may be mixed with something else, so they are not small dogs. My neighbor on the other side, the good one, has a husky and he told me today that the pit charged at him and his dog when he was walking down to the park, so he walks on the other side of the street now when he takes his dog to the park. I told him he should call 311 about it.
Is Jim leaving for Vegas tomorrow? I bet you made a big dinner for him for Father's day. Have you decided about going to Vegas, yet?
Barb Sounds to me like there was an admission by your neighbors that they caused the damage to your planter. At least they are going to fix it. It sounds like at least one of them doesn't want to draw too much attention by getting into a bad relationship with you. Unfortunately, they don't seem to understand that the dog pooping on your property is really not okay. I wonder what's going on in their back yard that the dogs are not put there instead of out front, especially when that one dog is aggressive to other dogs. I wonder if the owner feels intimidated by them and doesn't know how to deal with it.
There's nothing much going on in my world. A couple of days ago I rolled a bunch of loose coins and turned them into the bank for $65.00. Woo hoo! LOL
The video of your cats and the cucumber was hilarious!
Mary That's horrible about your friend's little dog being killed by the pit bull. Fortunately, my pit bull is really sweet and friendly. I think I told you all about the time I was walking my dog and a little dog being walked on the opposite side of the street broke away from his people and jumped on my dog's neck, growling and carrying on. Anyway, all my dog did while it was happening was look up at me as if asking what she was supposed to do. No matter how small, if someone has a "dog aggressive" dog, they need to keep a death grip on that leash.
I need to get back in the habit of walking my dog. I keep telling myself I'm going to do it but then time gets away from me and I end up not doing it or I find some excuse like it's too hot or it's too cold. At least she gets good exercise twice a week when someone comes to take her and her doggie friends hiking and running up in the hills. Maybe I should hire someone to take me out hiking. LOL
Dianne Waving a wing at you. Are you in Louisville now?
Justlin, you cracked me up! " Maybe I should hire someone to take me out hiking." LOL
Whenever I don't feel like walking Zoie, I think about "her" not getting enough exercise lol, so off we go!We don't go far lately because of my knee and the heat! I love that your dog is sweet! The owner makes all the difference! She is sweet because you are sweet :)
SacBarb, I have heard that saying many times in this redneck area lol!!
I dropped Jim off at the airport a couple of hours ago. He is like a little kid, so excited! He scares me because he carries so much money on him! I noticed he still has a trouble with some memory issues. Nothing big, he just needs to concentrate more.
I will be checking on airline tickets. If not too expensive I will get them. So far the cheapest is 382.00. I may pay that if my nerves get the best of me lol!
I didn't know what to expect today at the Orthopedic Specialist. Sometime I think people think I am faking my pain, so I begin to think they may be right lol! I hate telling anyone that I have had pain for so many years. I see now why. Evidently after my new knew replacement 12 years ago, my leg bone that my prosthesis went into, never
grew around it. He was not happy that my old Dr didn't follow up on me. He is a busy/popular Dr, so I am not scheduled until Nov. They did put me on a waiting list, so it may be sooner. I really don't want to wait until the snow starts flying!
Hi....yes, I’m in Louisville and it’s very hot here. It’s 100 every day and extremely humid. We aren’t out much and louis starts the car before I go out so that helps. Today we went to an overlook of the Ohio river and had lunch...beautiful view there. We went to a big candy store downtown and the ate leftovers here at hotel for dinner. Had a nice Fathers Dsy on the boat. We went on a Train ride Saturday. Tomorrow is lunch with Beverly and then gambling. Start for home Wednesday.
Barb, your neighbors are crazy. I’m guess the owner is the questionable one. I wonder if he gets paid any rent from all these people. Are you going to let the people fix your flower bed? It sure sounds like they did it with one of those cars. I would be reporting that dog too. Did anyone come and take them? Yes, you other neighbor should call about them. He should be able to walk by his own house with his dog.
Mary, I’m so sorry about you knee. I’m surprised the Dr never followed up on it. I had to go in a couple of times and then again last month for a three year checkup. Boy, I hope someone cancels before November for you. I know how awful that pain can be and I’m surprised you’ve walked so many vacations. I’m going to try and get a scooter at gambling tomorrow. My leg is still really hurting me on the top as it did before we left. We brought my travel chair for Branson but it’s easier to gamble with a scooter. Does anything give you any Relief?
JL, you would hate the heat and humidity here. You’re dog sounds really nice. I agree that people need to hang on to their dogs. Barb has trouble with that a lot at her apartments walking her little dog. So many people don’t keep their dogs on leashes. Wahoo $65 is $65....how long did it take to save it up?
Hugs to you all.
I guess I can comment from my phone now. I did that test to see if it would work.
Mary, My hubby was born in Oklahoma and he used many redneck sayings frequently. I sure hope you can have your surgery sooner than November. I know what that pain is like. I waited too long to get my second knee done because my first one formed a lot of scar tissue and had to be broken up by manipulating my leg. I had to have general anesthesia for that process. I was afraid the second one would be the same, but it was much easier. Now my hip is really bothering me and I am probably going to need it replaced. This getting old really sucks.
Dianne, you had a beautiful view overlooking the river while you were having lunch. I think you’re having lunch with Bev today. That should be fun. Are you anxious to get back home?
J/L, yes, I feel the neighbor offering to fix the flowerbed was an admission of guilt. I don’t really want him to fix it though, because everything they’ve done on that house looks shoddy. As for the dogs pooping on my lawn, I haven’t talked to them about it because I haven’t actually seen them do it so I have no proof it’s them, but I didn’t have that problem before they moved in. They have no fence or gate on either side of the house to contain the dogs so that’s why they go in the front. My neighbor on the other side said they poop on his lawn, too. He also said they must feed the dogs cheap food, because they leave big piles. LOL
Justlin, eeeewww " big piles of doo doo/shit" lol! Maybe you could invite the whole Beverly Hillbillies neighbors over for a good old hog roast or road kill!
Dianne, I get some relief when I take Motrin and sit for a while. Sitting too long bothers me too. It has gotten worse since my fall. Zoie's walks are shorter and my stamina sucks! I hate that! I am not one to sit still long.Take it easy out there! Humidity gets me down too.
SacBarb, I had trouble with scar tissue build-up. I did all the exercises I was given and went to 3 different therapists.Now I wonder if all that therapy had anything to do with my bone not fusing with my prosthesis.Who knows! I was put on a waiting list. I am to call on Tuesdays to see if there were any cancellations. Seems weird. You would think they would call me.
Mary It's not me with the bad neighbors. That's Barb.
Justlin. I usually proof read and find that I do that a lot! My b ad!
BBL I had my eyes dilated today and still fuzzy lol!
Crap, I waited too long for buying airline tickets! They have gone sky high!
I am going to keep checking uo until tomorrow afternoon for the last 9:30pm flight.
Jim called last night and said how lonely he was and was ready to come home :(.
A week in Vegas alone is a long time.
I hate to admit, but I am having a lot of pain with my leg/knee, so that is an issue too. Not sure I can navigate that big Vegas Airport. Oye Vey!
Say a few prayers that the air fare drops lol! It is now over $500 for a 4 day trip! It was $340. I should have grabbed it then. Pooh!
Hi....we’re home! It was a long fun trip. I don’t like the work when you get home with the unpacking, laundry, etc. we both really had a good time and saw many great shows in Branson. Each one was our favorite. We found some good places to eat and shop too. Im excited to go back on November. I checked the airfare today and it’s $650 each so we will be driving again. I just have concern about the weather. We also enjoyed spending time with Louis’s girls and did some fun things with them too. It was great to see Beverly too. Now back to reality.
Mary, did you decide to go to Vegas or find a less expensive flight? The cost is crazy for these flights. Maybe Jim will come home early. Didn’t you say some friends were going to meet him? Is that still happening? If you go...get a wheelchair for the airport. It will be much easier. I go to dr for my leg on Wednesday. It is somewhat better though.
Barb, I wasn’t really ready to come home. LOUIS sure was though. He’s much more of a homebody than I am. I like traveling and spending time together. We went to a candy factory in Louisville. I like to,pick up something for our neighbor for watching our house. Of course I have to get things for myself too! I’m going to weigh tomorrow and see the damage I’ve done. I know I’m not going to be happy
JL, boy was this house hot when we got home today. We woke up,early so got home about 2:30. We drove 3150 miles. Good thing we like road trips. We do about 400;miles a day. That’s plenty for me. We stop for dinner before we check in so we can just relax after checking in hotel. What have you been up To? Any movies lately?
Well. I’m pooped tonight so night all.
NEW BLOG
Post a Comment