by Dianne
A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course.Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing.She replied, “I’m on the 7th hole, and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole.”He thanked her and went back to his golf. On the back nine the same thing happened; and he approached her again with the same request. She said, “I’m on the 14th hole, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th hole.”Once again he thanked her and returned to his play.He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady.The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often.He approached her and said, “Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand that you are in the sales profession. I’m in sales, also. What do you sell?”She replied, “If I tell you, you’ll laugh.”“No, I won’t.”“Well, if you must know,” she answered, “I work for Tampax.”With that, he laughed so hard he almost lost his breath.She said, “See I knew you would laugh.”“That’s not what I’m laughing at,” he replied.“I’m a salesman for Preparation H, so I’m still a hole behind you!”
21 comments:
Ha ha! Well, we’re in Kansas for the night and home tomorrow. I’m so glad we waited. The desk guy told me main Hwy was closed down Sunday night and part of yesterday. The roads are clear and dry today and sunny. It’s only 28 degrees. Not much to say since just rode across Missouri and Kansas today.
Check in hooters and let us know how you’re each feeling. JL, when do you come home? I think you were going for eight days.
Funny stuff Dianne!
Matthew goes tomorrow to have his hand taken care of. I'm not sure exactly what will be done. One thing for sure, he won't be driving a bus load of school kids for a while!
I think I may have turned the corner a bit on the pain management. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to succumb to the drugs lol! I am wondering if Marijuana would have help? It becomes legal in Michigan on Dec. 5th.
We had a winter storm this week so I missed my therapy day. The roads were terrible! I couldn't see driving in the heavy snow. Our roads were plowed last night. All good now. I have another apptm.tomorrow.
Dianne, I have to admit that I have been worried about your trip back home. Weather can be so unpredictable this time of year!
I' watching PBS. Neil Diamond special. I have seen it 3 times this week lol. PBS is having their fundraiser, so their having great entertainment!
Time for some Tylenol. I may have over done it today. I knew Matthew had to go out today. His car was covered in ice and snow. I cleaned it up and Zoie's pen. It would have been hard for Matthew to use one hand to clear his Jeep. I mentioned it to Jim, but left without doing it :( Sometimes I just want to wring his neck!!
I did some exercises and ready to settle in for the night.
Safe travels Dianne!!!
Mary....again I’m asking you....did dr say you could drive a week after your surgery? And now you’re out cleaning off jeeps? I hope Matthew’s hand will be ok. I recorded that Neil diamond special too. My back(lower) is giving me fits. I was in pt for awhile until Ins stopped it and I think it was helping. Pt and dr trying to get it approved again. I can’t lay of the bed on my back at all ..luckily I sleep on side. I’m sitting in a chair now with a pillow behind me but not really helping. I’m so glad it doesn’t hurt in car! I wish I had some muscle relaxers right now!
Dianne I also wish Mary would take it easier after surgery but I will say that my brother was driving a few days after his knee surgery. I guess it just depends on what one is comfortable with. According to my brother, it didn't bother him at all to press on the car peddles what was uncomfortable and what the physical therapy was about is getting full bending motion back in the knee. I guess I should shut up and let Mary answer for herself. LOL
I'm glad you are safely home. It sounded like you really enjoyed your vacation. Do you plan to do it again next year?
My back is out of whack, too. The bed I sleep on at my brother's is comfortable enough when I go to bed but my back hurt every morning when I got up. I must say my back is not great under normal circumstances but I'm still getting over sleeping on that bed.
Mary, Mary, Mary I think you will find a general consensus here that we wish you would take it a little easier. We worry about you, especially when you are not on your most stable footing. You really shouldn't be the one outside scraping ice off of cars. Your son is stronger, taller, and in better shape right now even with an injured hand.
I've never had to drive in the snow so I can't imagine how stressful that can be. The other morning I had to drive my daughter to the airport while it was still dark and it was raining. I hate the glare of headlights on wet pavement. It is stressful to drive when vision is crappy. Plus, there is a rise on the coast highway here that you have to go over to get out of town heading north and besides the dark and the rain, it was also very foggy in that area so visibility was reduced even more.
I love Neil Diamond and was lucky enough to see him perform a couple of times over the years.
Barb Where for art thou? Are you feeling any better? I'm still coughing, coughing, and more coughing. Mine seems to come from my nasal congestion. My lungs seem perfectly fine. Well, as fine as they can be with the asthma. I think for me, it was breathing the fire smoke for 8 days that finally made me susceptible to cold virus. I think I'm on day 12 now with all this darn sinus congestion. I cancelled my hair appointment for today because of it. I don't feel bad but the coughing wears me out.
We had a storm come through last night and I got totally soaked when I had to take my dog and my daughter's two dogs outside for their last pee of the night. None of us enjoyed being out there. It's gray and calm right now. I don't know if more storm is on the way but I hope not as I had to pick my daughter up from the airport tonight.
Dianne, Nothing worse then back pain! Mine acts up ALWAYS when I go on trips. bending over, packing and unpacking triggers it. Usually all I have to do is lay on my back or on my side with a pillow between my legs.
My son had breaks in two of his fingers, up near his knuckles. Luckily he only has to wear a removable cast.
Today I broke down and took a pain pill. My last therapy was a bit tough. They are trying very hard to make my knee bend! So far I have painfully reach 77*. They want 90* tomorrow, hence the pain pills! I will def. take one before therapy! I'm am opioid fail :( .
JustLin, I hate driving in the rain at night! Fog would be an added stress factor! I am so sorry your cough is hanging on so long! I have had a small nasal drip for weeks. It disappeared the week of my surgery. Must have been all the antibiotics they pumped in me, incl the nose salve. I use the salve now whenever I go out in public as a precaution. I am such a wuss!
Missing you Barb!
Hello my lovely Owls. Sorry I have been MIA. I am still spending all my time in my bedroom because my cough has not gotten better. I called the doc on Sunday because I was wheezing so much it woke me up. The doc could hear it over the phone and prescribed an antibiotic. He said I likely have bronchitis which is what I told my other doc at the first appointment. She totally dismissed my self diagnosis. I don’t think they like it when patients self diagnose. Anyway, I am still coughing, but not as much. So, I feel like I’m finally on the road to recovery.
Mary, I am surprised you have been approved to drive. I couldn’t drive for almost six weeks after both knee surgeries. It’s a good idea to take a pain pill right before PT. That way they can work your knee more and it won’t hurt so much. I didn’t take a lot of pain drugs, but I always took it befort PT. I’m so sorry your son broke his hand. Working with kids always leaves the adults vulnerable to all the kids’ illnesses. Most teachers I know fortify themselves with emergen-C or Airborne. They think it helps ward off ugly germs.
Dianne, your trip sounds like it was a lot of fun. I’m glad you’re back home safely.
J/L, I’m sorry you’re still coughing, too. It probably wears you out, like it does me. The wheezing is really bothering me, too. I am not sleeping well, and my chest hurts. I have been napping a lot during the day, for an hour or so at a time. The cats are still keeping me company. They want to be in the bedroom with me instead of in the rest of the houst with the other cats. They are not too crazy about all the new tenants.
SacBarb, good hearing from you!I have been worried about you! I hope you aren't on the verge of pneumonia! Sounds like you are doing all the right things. Glad you are on Antibiotics! It's a wonder I haven't come down with something, with Jim & Matthew hacking! Jim is smoking a lot. I know there is nothing I can do, so I try to keep from stressing about it.
My PT was gruesome today, but I can see the progress. My knee is bending a lot more. Hurts like a Mo Fo! Glad I took a pain pill! I onlt squeezed out a couple of tears :(
I have no trouble driving because it is my left knee. I rarely use it for braking. My problem was the pain from the knee being bent. Now that it has been loosened up, it doesn't bother me as much.
Dianne, I got your card today! My 2nd so far :)
You are fast!
Yoohoo, where is everybody?
I just "popped a pill" in preparation for my PT today. I can pretty much handle most of it except at the end when the measure how far my knee can bend backwards! They try that "one-more-push" that pushes a tear out of my eyes :(. I know it has to be done.
I just renewed my license tabs on-line. I love not standing in line!
Tomorrow is Matthew's birthday so I will be picking up a cake card and a gift for him today. He will be 51! My baby! My other son Tony, turned 52 in August. Oye vey, I am old!
Have a great week all!
Hi, Hooters. It appears I am temporarily off of Facebook. I got notice that they were questioning that Just Lin was a real name and asked that I edit it to the name I normally go by. So I have attempted to do that but when I enter my name and hit the "next' tab, I get a "oops something went went wrong and we will fix it as soon as we can". Humpht! I am in withdrawals already. LOL
I couldn't find the clamp I use to keep my garbage can locked after the last garbage pick-up. The garbage guys just toss it on the sidewalk or into the gutter and I have had someone walk off with it before so assumed that happened again. I went to the hardware store on Friday and bought another one and as soon as I returned home I saw my old clamp laying at the bottom of the driveway near the garage. The gardeners had been here while I was gone and cleaned up a bunch of fallen leaves and the clamp was underneath. I returned the new clamps and got my money back. That was my big outing for the day besides having breakfast at the coffee shop and buying more cough drops at the drug store. I am so tired of this coughing. I was so tired yesterday that I didn't bother getting dressed. I slept better last night and am much perkier today. Hope you all are either healthy or on the mend.
Here I am late tonight. I’m still unpacking all my shopping bags from trip...somethings for me and other some Christmas gifts. I still have a couple to go through and of course my coach shopping bag.
Mary, I’ve been taking muscle relaxers for my back and they do absolutely nothing for me. Dr gave me 100 of them Friday and put me back on prednisone for six days. I hope your pain pills help. Boy, I remember that pushing on the knee! I wanted to punch them! How did the PT go today? Tammy turned 50 a couple of months ago and it makes me feel old too. What are you getting for a present for Matthew? How long will he be off work? Will they hold his job for him?
JL,,glad you’re feeling more perky today. Those coughs seem to last forever. My brother and poor sister in law get them all the time from the germs at the nursing home. It seems like they are always coughing. I try to stay away from coughs as it will instantly turn into bronchitis on me. Are you back on FB yet? I thought you were going to say they blocked you for some reason. Lol
Did any of you watch the Garth Brooks special last night? It was really good. Reba has one with other guests on Monday so set those recorders. I think I’m finally done with Christmas shopping. I’m waiting for a few things in the mail. It takes forever when they come from China!
Dianne, Matthew will be off a couple more weeks. Bus drivers are hard to find around here, so I know his job is safe... so far lol! I bought him two small cakes. One choc. and one vanilla. He never asks for anything but lottery tickets. That is easy :) He won $40.00, so he is happy.
I did watch Garth and enjoyed it. I didn't know about Reba. I didn't see it show up on my reg. channels.
After Monday's PT, I was barely able to function today! I had a different therapist. I did not feel like she had her mind on me. She would tell me what to do and then disappear. Like an idiot I just kept doing the exercises until she showed up. The worst one is when they put a Styrofoam roll under my knee and I have to raise my leg and hold. It is very painful! I can do everything else.
Justlin, your "outing" sounds as exciting as mine lately lol. I have lost things and replaced, only to find said object the next day!
I had pain all night and most of today. Jim was gone bowling and Casino. I didn't tell Matthew how bad I felt because it was his Birthday. He asked for a Taco dinner, so I took a pain pill. Right now I am a lot better!
I remember taking muscle relaxers when I worked at GM. I took a lot of pain pills to keep me working, but they didn't help much. The muscle relaxers gave me weir nightmares, so I quit them. I am a mess lol. I see my surgeon Thursday and no therapy until Friday.
I was going to try to go to my reg. lunch with friends, but the place they picked was at the Michigan State University. I would be doing a lot of walking.
I hope you get out of FB jail soon! I think I would go ahead and use the same i d. must be a glitch somewhere. Did you try rebooting a few times?
Hi....I’m so glad to hear you guys buybthings you can’t find or remember. I bought a really cute Jean jacket that I bought in branson in June and never worn. I thought I needed a little bigger size so got one this time there. I came home and put them both away.. they are exactly the same and guess what.....same size! Grr, I can’t take that back. I gave one to Tammy. I have taken more tops back to Catherines because ordered the same one.
Boy Mary, it sounds like you’re really being worked at pt. Are you using a cane or Anything? It takes so long to recover from knee surgery, doesn’t it? I’m still,waiting to hear from Ins to start up my pt again. Looks like Matthew had a nice bday. Glad he won a few bucks on his tickets. Those are always a fun gift. I’m glad his job will be ok plus it’s almost Christmas vacation from school. What did you get Jim for Christmas ? Louis and I aren’t exchanging since we are going on vacation again in January. I did get him some shoes that he doesn’t know about and a few stocking stuffers. I had them sent to my friends and she’s even wrapping them for me! Mary, I hope you get out of pain soon. I don’t think those muscle relaxers are so great either. Oh btw, Reba special is on this Monday night. I’m catching up tonight on the New York Christmas lighting special and the John Legend special. I like all these shows and I can fast forward thru the commercials.
JL, how are you feeling? Better today? Barb..you too?
Dianne I'm feeling better, thank you. I am using Zicam nasal spray during the day and take Nyquil capsules before bed. I slept extra good last night and didn't wake up until 12:30 which shocked me. I guess I really needed the rest.
Yesterday I did housework including mopping the kitchen floor. I then put up Christmas decorations before making myself a mini Thanksgiving dinner; roasted a chicken and had stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, broccoli, olives, and cranberry sauce. When I was done cleaning the pots and pans, I finished addressing my Christmas cards. No wonder I was tired!
I stayed home today and since I had slept in so late, anyway. I got my tree decorated and put up a wreath so now I'm done with all that. I hope to get my cards to the post office tomorrow. At least I had good leftovers to eat tonight.
Mary I feel so bad for you. It sounds like the PT people are really rough on you. My brother did his exercises at home unattended and was very conscientious about it as he was highly motivated. He did have follow up appointments with the surgeon of course to make sure he was coming along well.
I did not have a computer problem so rebooting wouldn't have done anything. I was put in FB jail because they got that Just Lin was not my real name. They notified me on FB as well as sending me an email about it. They had my Just Lin name blocked so I couldn't get on. The first link they sent me to edit my name didn't seem to be working so I emailed them back and they sent me a link that took me to the proper Edit page on FB but I also had to send them evidence of my name I wanted to change to. I was not comfortable sending copy of driver license or credit card, etc., so sent two other forms of ID...a photo of my AARP card and a photo of the address label on Princess Cruise brochure that had been mailed to me. They accepted those and let me change to my true name. What a bother!
Barb Have you decided to put up a Christmas tree for the kitties to enjoy? LOL
I hope you're feeling a lot better now that you are on antibiotics. It really saps your energy, doesn't it?. I never even got dressed last Sunday.
Saturday my daughter and I are going into S.F. to see the Cirque Du Soleil show "Volta". It's in a tent close to AT&T Park so I will be dressing warm and probably keep a stash of cough drops in my jacket pocket. It's not supposed to be raining that day, thank goodness.
Hi....em and kayla were in a car accident today. Em was driving and a car coming towards them started to cross the line and would have hit them head on. Em saw it and swerved and it hit the back of her Jeep. They went up on three wheels and landed. Thank the Lord neither were hurt. She was able to drive car home but was upset about her car and just shook up overall. Kayla went back to other car and he took off. Piece of sxxx! In an older grey mustang with new damage...a young guy. He probably didn’t have Ins or a drivers license. There were witnesses but no one was able to get license number. I’m so upset how close they came to getting hurt bad or worse. It’s just hard to believe someone would just leave but it seems like it happens a lot in this day and age. Very scary
Ok...I’m back. I was so freaked out earlier but calmed down now! The girls have calmed down too
JL, so look how good you are getting your cards out. You dinner sounds delicious. I love stuffing the best...and olives. Glad you got such a good nights sleep. I’m not setting my alarm tonight but I wake so early anymore regardless of going to bed late. I’m not too crazy about that but I do usually take about a 45 min nap. I hope to get gifts sorted and start wrapping tomorrow...yuck! We will stay home and order pizza for dinner so then I won’t have to get dressed tomorrow either. Sounds like you will have a fun Saturday.
Mary, has your weather cleared at All? We supposed to go into mid 50’s Monday and Tuesday and then cold and maybe snow on Wednesday. Glad you got home safely the other day. What did your dr say about your knee? Still in therapy? My Ins approved three pt sessions for me today and I’m glad for this darn back. Is your house decorated for Christmas? How’s Matthew?
Barb, Been awhile since we’ve seen you. Hope you’re doing much better now. I too want to know if you put up your tree?
Dianne, I thought I was seeing my Dr/surgeon, but she was actually my anesthesiologist.
She worked with me on lifting my leg straight out while sitting. I couldn't seem to get my brain coordinated with my leg! She got me to visualize first with my ggod knee then with the bad. It worked! I can finally lift and stretch it out. I need to work on more reps though.
Matthew is getting antsy and is going to try to go back to work tomorrow. He is hoping the Dr will release him.
I have not put a thing up for Christmas! Matthew is the one that makes sure we decorate. He loves the house all prettied up for the Holidays.
I am glad the girls are ok! We have a lot of "hit & drive offs around here. Some are after hitting pedestrians!
JustLin, I am glad you are feeling better. You have been busy! My house is suffering terribly since my surgery! It is all I can do to keep up with the laundry, cooking,supplying the groceries, etc. I have most gifts bought or on order. I need to start wrapping and sending out to Grand kids, nieces and nephews. Crda are barely started, but have sent out a few. Thank goodness I have an address label printer on my PC.!
Barb, I keep trying to catch something, but so far only get mild versions.
I had to drive the following week of my surgery, because I had to drive Matthew to the ER for his hand. Jim had an appointment with heart specialist 40 miles the opposite direction! Let me tell you, having to keep my left leg bent while driving Matthew to ER, was a killer!
I am doing pretty well in PT and doing exercises at home. My problem is the high pain during the night. Last night I took a pain pill about 3 am. I couldn't stand it anymore! I may have to take one every night before bed time so I can get some rest!
I am thinking of trying the now legal in Mich. Marijuana. to see if it helps my sleeping. It's been over 40 yrs since I "indulged" lol!
I best be getting those gifts wrapped, house decorated, and cards finished......
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