by Dianne
The Doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration.
You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife.
When he left the Hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the Street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a men's Clothing Store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new suit...'
He entered the shop and told the Salesman, 'I'd like a new suit..'
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, 'Let's see... Size 44 long.'
Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?'
'Been in the business 60 years!' the Tailor said.
Joe tried on the suit it fit perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the Salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?'
Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.'
The Salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.'
Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?'
'Been in the business 60 years.'
Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.
Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the Salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?'
Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.'
The Salesman said, 'Let's see... Size 36.
Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.'
The Salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.'
New suit - $400
New shirt - $36
New underwear - $6
Second Opinion - PRICELESS
18 comments:
OH MY!! 2nd opinion for sure LOL!!
We are awaiting a couple of snow storms coming through tonight. I filled up all the bird feeders and did some grossery shopping so I would not have to go out for a while. As I wrote on FB, the grocery lines were at least 8 carts long if not more! You would think it was Christmas Eve! It took all I had not to leave my cart and walk out the door! I felt sorry for the cashiers. Some where still in training. To make matters worse, the scanners were messed up. The cashier's hands got their workout having to swipe multi times on each item! Peeps in my line were very patient and let him know we felt bad for him.
The parking lot was a mess too! I have never had to park so far away!
The roads were drifting and making black ice. I was glad to get home!
Sounds terrible Mary. We’re not sending your new storms to you, going to be in the 50’s this week and dry. Went out for another bday lunch today. I’m really stretching it. Watched the end of the raiders ot game. That was a good game and I give the raiders credit with a coach change this year. Speaking of coaches…ours got fired today. The writing was on the wall especially when we lost again yesterday. Barb..I do like your QB. I had a Texas tenors zoom call tonight. Everyone is nervous about the cruise in a year will be canceled. Heck…who knows a year from now what will be going on. I’m just glad it’s not this year. Em has had Covid last week. We haven’t been around any of them. I’m being careful as Louis is worried about having his shoulder surgery postponed if he’d get Covid. He still hasn’t gotten his mri so the trial can be scheduled for his back. It’s so frustrating and he’s in so much pain. He talked me into making our hotel reservations for our trip to Houston/Galveston the end of Feb. I made sure I got cancelation dates on all of them. He’s determined. I did lots of paper work, bills, etc., tonight after my zoom call. I usually try to get things caught up on Sundays…get all my cards ready to go out for the week. Haven’t been to see my new great nephew yet. I still have this cough for two months hanging on so I don’t want to get around him. I had a chest X-ray last week and it came back normal. I mostly cough at night but it’s a bad cough. I’ve been on two rounds of prednisone too . The dr is supposed to call tmrw. We will see if anyone calls. Im off to watch the broncos tonight to see what they have to samba out our coaching mess. Night
OK Dianne. I’m here! I don’t have much to say. I guess that’s why I haven’t posted. Today is my sister’s birthday. She is 91. Nothing has changed with her situation. Citi Bank finally sent a form asking to tell them about all the unauthorized charges on her card. I’ve already given them all the info but I guess they need it in writing with Marie’s signature to make it formal. I can’t do anything about moving her to an assisted living place until that’s settled because she doesn’t have enough money now. We can’t get het house cleaned, because she’ll just keep trashing it, so we are just in a holding pattern. It’s frustrating!
I did get some good news yesterday. Todd and some friends are going to Shasta Lake in February to play golf. So they are flying to Sacramento so we can visit, then they will rent a car and drive to Shasta. It’s about a three hour drive from here. So, I have that to look forward to.
I hot my second shingles shot on Monday and my arm is really sore this time, plus I was feeling yucky yesterday. I stayed in bed most of the day and only had soup and toast for dinner. I feel better today, except my arm is still sore.
Dianne, the Raiders game ended well, but the game was gut wrenching. When they’re good, they’re really good, but they seem to fall apart for a while before they come back. I like the QB too, and even the backup QB is good. The team has to stop causing so many fouls!
They’re in the playoffs, but I’m not expecting too much. Since the Superbowl is in Vegas, Todd has an opportunity to get tickets. They haven’t told him how much the tickets are, but the deposit is $2,500. He is definitely not getting tickets.
Barb, good grief on the Superbowl tickets! My daily newspaper has had a running contest for the Superbowl. It includes tickets, cash & airline tickets oh and hotel reservations.It is only for subscribers.
I didn't have a problem with my shingle shot, but my covid booster reaction was just like your shingle shot. I got paranoid until it quit hurting!
Fun that you have a visit to look forward to in Feb.
Dianne, I sure hope things settle down and your cruise isn't canceled. Is the Houston/Galveston trip to see family or TTs? I sure am sorry Louis is in so much pain!Too bad your cough is keeping you from seeing the baby :(
Did you see our Lions won its second game of the season? Messed up their chance at 1st draft pick, but we did get 2nd.
Our temps have almost barley passed the freezing mark. 33deg. yesterday and could climb to 35 today!!
I went to lunch yesterday to the "Crusty Crab" Not sure if that name is right lol! Anyway, I am not a fan of oysters, calamari, or anything with it's eyes staring at me ! I ordered flounder and sweet potato fries with a side of coleslaw. Pretty good.
Hardly anyone there.
BTW, lunch was with my GM retired friends. My only once a month social outing.
Dianne Here I am. Thank you for the nudge.
I'm not ready to cruise again but hopefully things will be looking better when it's time for your cruise. On the 6th, the Ruby Princess docked in San Francisco after a 10 day Mexico cruise. Apparently, several people tested positive for COVID. That afternoon, my friend Kathy and her husband Lee got on that same ship for the 10 day Mexico cruise. Their long time friends and Kathy's sister and husband went, too. I hope all is going well and nobody gets sick. No one is allowed to get off the ship to wander around by themselves. All excursions are being very controlled. In March, Kathy and Lee are going on an Alaskan cruise. She is a retired travel agent and has been all over the world on cruises and visited many places repeatedly. She won't be getting off the ship in Mexico or Alaska as she's been there so many times. She just enjoys the cruising experience, swimming in the pool and basking in the sunshine and being waited on.
I am so sorry that Louis is in so much pain. Do you think your cough might be due to allergies? I've been having a very annoying and congested sounding cough due to my sinuses. My lungs are fine. I am allergic to everything and since we had some heavy rains, it is very damp where I live and there are molds around of various types. Also, something is biting me a lot. It's either mosquitos or those nearly invisible "no-see um" insects. I don't want to have to spray myself with insect repellent because I find the smell of it to be repellent to me. The land is starting to dry up so I hope they go away soon.
Barb I can get my second Shingles shot any time now until mid April. I'd like to do it pretty soon but I want to wait until my sinus situation is better so I'm not freaking people out with my congested sounding cough. It is getting better since I got some Mucinex-D from the pharmacist the other day. It was required that I buy it directly from the pharmacist as I had to show my ID (which they took a photo of) in order to get it. It's one of the over the counter meds that has an ingredient in it that people can use to make illegal drugs.
My 20 year old grandson is getting over COVID. He did have two shots but not the booster, yet. After he got better from being sick and tested negative, he was still having some problems with his lungs which became hyperinflated. He's on steroids for that now and will hopefully be back to normal soon.
I'm a 49er fan but I can't imagine being such a fan that I would be willing to pay those kind of prices in order to go to a Superbowl game.
Mary Brrrrr!!! I hope you are staying warm and you are very careful when outside. That goes for walking and driving. I don't think I would do well in the kind of weather you get.
I've been very frustrated lately with a new motion sensor light that I got for the front porch. It's identical to the one I had there before which worked wonderfully for many years until it went kaput. Anyway, I've been trying for a month or so to get this new one to work right but it just won't. The only thing it will do is act as a manual light, it will not act in the motion sensing mode at all. I finally called the number that had on the product instruction sheet and talked to someone about it. After telling them what was going on, they gave me an email address to write to and include copy of my receipt and that they will replace the light as this one appears to be defective. Oh, I really hope they do that. I really like having a motion sensor light.
Our 49er game last Sunday was very exciting, too. We won in overtime.
JustLin. We have motion sensor lights around the garage, front porch and side patio.
Did you "double click" the switch to set?
We also have cameras all around the house. I like to keep an eye on Jim, although, the one time he fell getting the mail, I wasn't watching! He said he even yelled for me. I felt so bad!
It has been pretty boring the last few days.
I did find out my sweet elderly friends back in my home town, will be moving to an assisted living complex. They are both in their 90s and have been declining in health the last two years. She told me they had always planned on having someone come in to care for them, but with the covid scares, they have been unable to find anyone. They can well afford it, so that's not a problem. They have a lovely large farmhouse. They farmed for many years. Sad to see them leave it.
I know we been texting but just thought I’d drop by and say hello. Thanks for everyone listening to me the last couple of days. So what’s new and fun with all of you? I seldom watch tv but got caught into dateline tonight. Boy, that’s a cheerful show to watch. Tmrw night I’ll watch 48 hours..maybe..as it’s a colorado case I’ve been following. It’s set to record anyway. Well, not much more to say since we’ve talked a lot already. Night xxoo
JL….exciting for your 49ers this eeek. I’ll be yelling for you
Mary, I don’t like oysters, either, but I do like crab and lobster, and most fish. I love sweet potato fries. We just upgraded our alarm system because we had a technician out to fix a problem and it cost me $59 to tell me the system was too old and couldn’t be fixed. So, I upgraded and complained about the $59 and they ‘graciously’ took it off! I’ve been with ADT since 2007! Where’s the loyalty perk? Also, the upgrade cost a bundle, but we have two cameras and several more motion lights. Since we still have the sketchy neighbors next door, I feel a little safer. It was supposed to take four hours, but he arrived at 8am and left around 6pm. He only took a 30 minute break to go get something to eat about 3:00. I think it was really to go potty, ‘cause he didn’t use our bathroom all day.
Dianne, I hope your cough is better and you can soon get to meet the new baby. Does Louis have pain meds that can help a little with his pain? I’m praying for both of you. In fact, I pray for all of us every night!
JL, we have a lot of mosquitoes here and I get big bumps from their bites. I hope you grandson is better. Josh has been sick and he thought it might be COVID, but thankfully his test was negative.
Todd is a die hard Raiders fan but he said he would not pay that much to see a game. It’s just gouging the fans.
I was going to post in the nest on Sunday, but I wanted to watch just one YouTube video first and ended up going down a rabbit hole for over two hours. I didn’t even realize how long it had been. By that time, I was so sleepy, I just went to bed. Lesson learned!
Bebbi, I hope your Mom was able to get some medical attention. How is she doing?
Seaside, I hope all is well in your world.
SacBarb, I am glad to see you have some cameras outside. Last year Matthew got me a dashcam, which I love.
We have called techs on well pump problems. They said it would cost $75 just to look at it! That is why Matthew Googles and fixes most of our problems. Saves us $$.
Utube had vids for everything! I ordered a water dish to habg in Queenie's new indoor crate. I watched a vid on h ow to take the dish out of the pkg, which was tricky due to all the plastic and wingnuts holding it together. Crazy lol!
I didn't go to my friends funeral yesterday. I hate driving on icy/snow roads! I had a hard time sleeping the night before thinking about her and how young she was, and had a mini depression moment.I managed to pull myself out of it. I did not like that feeling at all!
Today is much better. Who can be sad around Zoie! lol!!
Mary I'm sorry for your sadness but glad you stayed home rather than drive on icy roads. Sometimes you have to stay home and be safe.
As for my porch light, I promise you I tried every possible way to get it to work. I tried all the ways repeatedly but it just wouldn't work in any other mode except manual. The company that manufactures it sent me an email that they are sending me a new one, free of charge. I'm happy with that. This light should be easy to set up. It's not complicated as long as the sensor isn't defective.
Oh, and give yourself a break. It's okay and normal to grieve.
Barb Well, I forgot about the diet limitations to avoid gout and had pepperoni and mushroom pizza two nights in a row. I had it Saturday night while watching the 49er game and had the leftovers the following night. Monday I woke up with gout again. It wasn't until this morning (Wednesday) that I recalled there was a second Rx I was put on when my gout was active so I ordered a refill which is being sent to me. I hope it gets here by Friday. This hobbling around is for the birds. I've been having foods high in purines on occasion and I guess I got carried away with it. I would have been okay having that particular pizza just for one night but not for two nights in a row. Lesson learned.
It sounds like you have a really good security system set up now. That must give you a lot of peace of mind.
I broke down and bought some insect repellent to spray on myself morning and night. It's a citrus smelling one which doesn't repel me too much and seems to be doing the job. The bites I've been getting stay itchy for days. Really aggravating.
Dianne I love that photo of you holding the baby. What a beautiful baby he is. You must have been over the moon to finally get to see him in person.
I hope you'll be rooting for my 49ers again this weekend. The games lately have been crazy. We need all the help we can get.
For some reason, I have been cold lately and it's really hard to feel I've warmed up. My street is in the shade at this time of year so that's part of it. If I were to walk around the corner to street below me I'd be in the sunshine and a lot warmer. Today I actually crawled back in bed to read and get warm and ended up taking a nap. It's very unusual for me to sleep in the middle of the day unless I'm sick. But I sure felt cozy and warm so it was worth it.
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