by Dianne
Every box of raisins is a tragic tale of grapes that could have
been wine.
They say we can have gatherings with up to eight people without issues. I don't even know eight people without issues.
Theme parks can snap a crystal-clear picture of you on a roller coaster going 70 mph, but bank cameras can't get a clear shot of a robber standing still.
Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers. If you do find one, what's your plan?
The more I get to know people, the more I realize why Noah only let animals on the ark.
Facial recognition software can pick a person out of a crowd but the vending machine at work can't recognize a dollar bill with a bent corner.
When all this pandemic stuff is over, I still plan to wear a mask. It hides the perpetual look of annoyance I have for most people.
I never make the same mistake twice. I do it like, five or six times, you know, to make sure.
Someone just honked to get me out of my parking space faster, so now I just have to sit here until both of us are dead.
My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.
If you see someone buying candy, popcorn and a soda at the movies, they must be a drug dealer. There's no other explanation for that type of income.
After a year of this pandemic, I'm either going out for ice cream or to commit a felony. I'll decide in the car.
I know it's time to clean out my purse when my car assumes it's an extra passenger who isn't wearing a seat belt.
Dr. Oz says rubbing coffee grounds on your naked body will get rid of cellulite. Apparently you can't do this in Starbucks. And now the cops are here.
In the 1950s I fell off my bike and hurt my knee. I'm telling you this now because we didn't have social media then.
Some people seem to have aged like fine wine. I aged like milk ... I got sour and chunky.
Dear Sneeze: If you're going to happen, happen. Don't just put a stupid look on my face and then leave.
Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters. Nine horrible, worthless, bacon less years.
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower.
3 comments:
Bah humbug! No one here!
Just checking in. All is well here in Mich except of course for the dammed snow! The total was not expected! The guys still have the mower deck on the tractor. They were hoping for one more mow. It is quite a job exchanging the mower deck to the snow plow
Most schools around us had a snow day, not the one Matt buses for! The roads were terrible! They only had to be at school for two hrs to count on the books, so not to lose other off days next year. Matthew had to pick up the kids around 7am to arrive by 8, then turn around and pick them up at 10:10 to go home. The country roads were snow covered and sloppy. Thank goodness all went well!
Jim's oldest brother, Bob, is in Florida for the winter. He is 87 and drove down there with his wife. He is in the hospital due to some reaction to meds. Now he has a blood infection with sepsis. Our only contact is through FB. Thank goodness for that!
Hope you are all well.
Hi…I’m sorry I’m not being better. Mary nudged me and then I nudged myself. Mary, we have surprise snow too. We got about 6” and it was 10 last night. Brr. Today is better in the 40’s with sunshine. Snow is melting. I still hate the snow! Not too much new….Tammy had covid , my daughter in law had it, my son, barb, Wendy …Andy’s wife and my niece Joanna. No one was around each other either. They r all better now. It was like a head cold with all of them. I luckily wasn’t around anyone. I was supposed to have bday lunch with Todd on Tuesday but liane was sick so I canceled. Good thing I did, Todd was sick next day. I went yesterday with a friend for a bday lunch. I drove thru Wednesday for a drink afterwards and threw up twice out the door and all over my jacket. Gross. I was fine right after…weird. I threw the food I brought home away just in case.
Barb, Tammy is going to raider game tmrw. She bought long underwear just in case. She’s been well from her covid for two weeks. Toss up on who will win. We are soooo bad, probably your raiders.
JL, I’m about ready to start my Christmas cards…soon she said. Lol. You should come visit Mary or myself this winter and see what 10;degrees feels like just for fun. I’m just glad none of us live in Buffalo…..six feet so far there in two days! I’d move Looks they r moving the game there tmrw to Detroit.
Bev and seaside we are still looking for you.
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