Actual Doctors' Comments On Patient Charts

by Shirley

"Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year."

"On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely."

"The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993." 

"Discharge status: Alive but without permission." 

"Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful." 

"The patient refused an autopsy." 

"The patient has no past history of suicides." 

"Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital." 

"Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch." 

"She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night." 

"The skin was moist and dry." 

"Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches." 

"Patient was alert and unresponsive." 

"She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce." 

"Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities." 

"Skin: Somewhat pale but present." 

"The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed." 

"When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room." 

"The patient expired on the floor uneventfully."