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Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Funniest Song Titles

by Shirley

She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger

If I Can’t Be Number One In Your Life,
Then Number Two On You

You’re the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

If the Phone Don’t Ring, It’s Me Not Calling You Up

If Love were Oil, I’d be a Quart Low

At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self-Service Pump

I Wish I Were a Woman (So I Could Go Out With a Guy Like Me)

I Sat Down On a Beartrap (Just This Morning)

Heaven’s Just A Sin Away

Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart

I Keep Forgettin’ I Forgot About You

Gave Her My Heart And a Diamond
And She Clubbed Me With a Spade

It Ain’t Love But It Ain’t Bad

C’mon Down off the Stove, Granny,
You’re Too Old to Ride the Range

Don’t Run Through The Screen Door Honey
You’ll Only Strain Yourself

From The Indies To The Andes In His Undies

If Money Talks, It Ain’t On Speaking Terms With Me
I Just Fell In Something and I Sure Hope It’s Love

I Only Have Eyes For You,
But Look What I’ve Got For Your Sister

64 comments:

  1. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh....my last first of the year~ :D

    Shirley~ those are funny....but I've heard this one before....my hubby sings it~

    I Wish I Were a Woman (So I Could Go Out With a Guy Like Me)

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  2. SHIRLEY: I thought you were funnin' us with these titles..until I got to 'Heaven's Just A Sin Away'..I actually have that 45 from waaaaay back when..omg..these are REAL! LOL! I've also heard 'It Ain't Love But It Ain't Bad'. I'm surprised the list didn't include those classics..'If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me' and 'She Got The Mine..I Got The Shaft'! Great stuff Shirley..thanks for the laughs!

    TINA: It may be your last first but I sure hope it's not the last Good Moanin' you have this year! ;)

    Gotta run..Have a good day everyone! ..I'm feelin' a bit of deja vu here.. ;)

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  3. DIANNE: Did you try counting Broncos? ;) I hope you can get back to sleep soon!

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  4. lmbo Zona....counting Broncos should put her to sleep~ :)~

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  5. good morning!

    I just love country song titles and lyrics....so funny!!

    There is a song titles "All My Ex's Live In Texas"....and some guy changed it to "All My Ex's Wear Rolexs's".....lol

    Funny that this subject is a blog this week...because many of you should have received the "country" CD that I sent with your Christmas cards.....just a little ditty about love gone wrong....

    Well I have to check everything...mail...farms..islands....you know..

    Whabbear....don't know if I will have time to monitor your flights this year....however it is always a relief to see that you have landed safely.....my west coast satellite is on the fritz so I would def need your Flt number to report your progress and safety...

    Later gators!!

    secretly sprinkles itching powder in Shirleys chair...

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  6. Shirley: So funny! :)

    Tina: Beautiful as always!

    DeeDee....I walked in and sat in Shirley's chair and now I am itching up a storm....jeeez...

    Be careful with that stuff, woman!


    Also, if anyone wants a Christmas card from me please message me on Facebook with your address. I am going to be really late this year but I am going to send them to people who want them. Also, I will give you my new address, but only if you are interested. :)

    I like the song, "She thinks my Tractor's sexy"...a huge favorite in the farming community. :)

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  7. Bebbs...whatever do you mean ...I didn't go near Shirleys chair!

    I have been looking for the lyrics to a song title "Tape Deck In His Tractor" but they are not to be found! Its a cute song...I did find a utube of the song performed in the movie...posted it on FB...

    "Hes got a tape deck on his tractor and he listens to the local news...he finds out where the bass are bitin' while hes plowin' to the country blues"...

    ahhh...1975...I was 40...going on 20!!


    measures Shirleys chair then the window behind it mumbling something about cornhussy!?...

    well... florist is here....have to go give disapproving looks....

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  8. And what about that old standard "I worked my fingers to the bone and what did I get...boney fingers"

    Shirley, These are why I didn't like country music for so long.

    Tina, do you plan on sleeping late for the rest of the year?

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  9. Well, I had to get my cast changed yesterday and it was quite an ordeal. Apparently my leg was quite swollen when the first one was put on and by Sunday I was able to get my whole hand between my cast and my leg. This one is really tight and I guess that's a good thing.

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  10. I was supposed to go to Sharon's after my appointment yesterday so we could go to the Mall by her house. A flash mob was going to sing the Hallelujah Chorus in the food court and I thought it would be fun, but my foot hurt and I was too tired so we didn't go. A friend's daughter was going to be singing. Well, apparently so many people found out about it that the food court was literally wall to wall people and the floor started to creek so Mall security evacuated the Mall. They didn't get to sing a note. So glad I missed that!

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  11. Gotta run (well hobble, really) to the Post Office and my nail appointment. Have a good day everyone. BBL

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  12. I found these in my Karaoke songbook'
    "Let Er Rip"
    'One Piece at a Time"
    "Don't the girls all get Prettier at Closing Tim"
    "The Cowboy In Me"

    Just got the estimate on my jeep, wasn't as bad as we originally thought, just under $2,000. My insurance will take care of it.:)
    Turns out it was on private property so the cops wouldn't have come anyway. I was worried that I should have call them. It was dark & freezing!!
    On my way out the door......

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  13. Barb!! You typed 3 messages while I was fiddle f--king around lol!!
    Be careful out there!

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  14. can't count, you wrote 4 lol!! What a woman!!

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  15. btw tha was "closing time" , not "Tim" geesh!

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  16. bye, I an NOT correcting my spelling anymore lol!!

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  17. Tina Your last first? Does this mean you get to be on vacation til 2011? Hooray for you! I hope your beauty lasts til then.

    Dianne Why aren't you sleeping? Do you feel ill or are you just fretting about the Broncos? I guess they are underachievers just like my 49ers.

    Zona I like that title, "It Aint's Love But It Ain't Bad". I can relate. LOL

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  18. SacBarb I went to the PO yesterday, twice! The first time was not fun at all....too many people, a combination of rude and stupid. The second time was much better. Good luck and don't let anyone step on your foot.

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  19. Bebbi I am interested in your address. It's too late for cards this year but I would like it for next year.

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  20. DeeDee I guess I'd rather have itching powder than bedbugs. You didn't bring any of those did you?

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  21. Mary It seems the guys get cuter at closing time, too.

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  22. Tina It seems plenty of guys go out with themselves. Their dates usually occur in the bathroom. LOL

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  23. Shirley Thanks for the chuckles today.

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  24. DeeDee comes in back door with a hunky electrician and a spool of wire

    nope! used all my bed bugs over Thanksgiving....

    oh him? Don't mind him...hes an upholsterer...gonna fix some springs in that chair with the wire....

    dum de dum de dum dum de dum.....

    electrician finishes and runs lead wire out of window behind chair

    well! looks like the upholsterer is done! I think Shirley will find that chair much more comfortable now!

    I think I'll take him to my house now to look at some bed springs....

    toodles!!

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  25. DeeDee, There is a jolly old fellow watching you. He told me the last time he went to your house there was nothing wrong with your "springs", kwim?

    Justlin, Nope, ugly is always ugly on men lol!!!

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  26. Dee Dee, I'll get you that info!

    Shirley, Jim and I LOVE Country song titles! Some of our faves that weren't on your list:

    I Hate Every Bone in your Body... but Mine!

    Lookin' for a 10 (in a Motel 6) !!

    Get your tongue out of my mouth, cause I'm kissin' you good-bye!

    I'm still missin' you... but my aim's getting better!

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  27. Bear, LOL @ I'm still missin' you... but my aim's getting better! Practice, practice, practice!

    Mary, I'm glad your car damage wasn't as bad as you thought, but it's still a bummer.

    J/L, Everyone must have gone to the P.O. yesterday because there was no one in there when I arrived.

    I have all the stuff to make my Christmas cards, but I didn't make them, so I hate to say this, but I am not even sending cards this year. I am leaving on a jet plane at 6am tomorrow. I wish you all the best of holidays and I promise to get cards out next year. Love you all. ♥

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  28. Mary...there wasn't a problem with my strings last year til that "Jolly Old Man" bounced around on them for an hour!! I thought he would never get off!! ...the bed...I thought he would never get off the bed!!

    But apparently they weren't bad because the elec...upholsterer..didn't work on them...it seems he is also a dentist and he noticed I had a cavity that needed a little filling...

    you know...it was thrilling when he was drilling....and I didn't need any Novocaine today...

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  29. BARB - Safe travels and the Merriest of Christmas's to you and your family <3

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  30. TINA - Sounds like a song my hubby would sing!!

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  31. SHIRLEY - Thanks for another fun blog!! I about fell off my chair when I read this one.....C’mon Down off the Stove, Granny, You’re Too Old to Ride the Range. Oh, my flippin' hell!!

    DIANNE - Are you still up?

    ZONA - I remember most of the ones you mentioned!! Some real hum-dingers ;)

    DEE DEE - love gone wrong....really?!!? lol!!

    BEBBI - She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy is one of Tim's favorite songs!!

    BARB - I even remember the Boney Fingers ;)

    MARY - Glad your insurance is covering the damage on your Jeep!! Are you still feeling a bit sparkly?!!?

    SLIN - No waiting at our wee little post office last Thursday and Friday ;)

    WHABBY - Again....sounds like songs my hubby would sing :O)

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  32. Whabby, ROTF!!

    Jodi, just call me "glittergrl" lol!

    DeeDee, it's your story, but word has it you on your umpteenth set of springs!

    Tina, are you enjoying having the whole family under your feet? :)

    Barb, my fave. song! "I'm Leaving, on a Jet Plane, don't know when I'll be back again...."

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  33. Barb, I forgot to wish you safe travels!!

    I am multi tasking, cleaning frig,laundry,dusting,vacuuming,while waiting for Mr Mary to get back from Indian Casino. I do my best work when he's gone!

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  34. I'm home. I'm pooped. I've finally given in to the fact that I'm getting old. It was absolutely crazy out there and I'm worn out!

    BARB: I'm glad your foot is now properly encased and I sure hope it heals quickly!

    Safe travels! Have a wonderful time and a very Merry Christmas! SWAK! :)

    MARY: I do my best work then too! I mean when Mr Z is gone..not Mr Mary.. ;)

    DEEDEE: Still afeared.. ;)

    BEBBI: Did you receive my glitter? ;)

    BEAR: Safe travels to you as well..and have a wonderful Christmas!

    JODI: Ok..hum-dingers took my mind to a whole other place.. :D

    Time to go make something for dinner..I think I'll just wheel my computer chair right into the kitchen..lol..Have a good night everyone!

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  35. Evening Owls!

    Hi Tina, Dianne, DeeDee, Zona, Bebbi, SacBrb, Mary, Just Lin, Whabbear and Jodi!

    Glad you liked my song titles. Some of the ones you have mentioned were on the list but I edited the list before sending it to Tina.

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  36. DeeDee you action here today PROVE that you are a cornhussy!!! Taking the unholsterer/electrician back to your place! Probably for payment of services rendered!! I hope your little Belly isn't aware of what her mommy get up to during the day!! tsk tsk!

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  37. Shirley, thank you for the fun blog!

    I almost fell over when I saw "You're the reason our kids are so ugly"!!!

    Going to get a hot shower and get in jammies, super tired after a busy day at work.

    Safe travels Barb!

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  38. DIANNE!!!!!!!!!!

    **jumping up and down and waving wildly**

    HI DIANNE!!!!!

    **becomes serious**

    I'm sooo sorry about the Broncos.

    **start jumping and waving again**

    Hi Dianne!! Nice to see you!!!

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  39. Where's that bitchy Maureen? I don't think she's decking the halls...but maybe some bad drivers!!!! Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha! I crack myself up!!!!

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  40. Hi EBJ!!!!

    SacBarb when I broke my foot I only had a cast on for a week before it started falling off. They never put another cast on it though. Have a wonderful trip!!!

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  41. why don't you have a seat in your chair Shirley? Take a load off that bent and gnarled foot that the cast fell off of....

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  42. OMG!! WHAT IS THAT NOXIOUS ODOR!!

    Oh! Tina....

    Someone open a window before we are all asphyxiated!!

    Shirley! Quick! Why don't you open that window behind your chair!!??

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  43. Barb...I hope you have a nice journey....NOT A TRIP!!

    glares at Shirley

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  44. Dee Dee: It's AC Flight 728 tomorrow morning.

    Happy stalking!

    Thanks for the good wishes and the Christmas Card, Zona and J/L! Christmas cards were a causality of my remodel this year, I'm afraid... I just couldn't bring myself to perform even one more chore!

    TTFN... talk to you all from Toronto!

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  45. Thanks for all the safe trip/journey wishes. I'm gonna get to bed in a few minutes, 'cause I need to get up at 3am. The shuttle will pick me up at 4am. Yawnnnnn.

    Good night and sweet dreams to you all. MUAH ♥

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  46. Good evening feathered friends!

    SHIRLEY...very funny blog! Love those titles. Looking forward to your Nova Scotia blog. Oh, and bitchy Maureen wasn't decking anything except my pillow...fell asleep after work. Oh, and it takes bitch to know one :)

    SACBARB...have a wonderful trip.

    ZONA...how did the groomer do with Nikki today? They didn't charge you, did they?

    WHABBY...have a wonderful trip. Are you going to ask the TSA agent for a rub, I mean pat down? LOL!

    DIANNE...sorry I missed your blog yesterday. Hope you had a good day today.

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  47. LOOK!!!!
    It's a bird!
    It's a plane!!
    NO!
    It's just a crow flying away with DeeDee's eye.

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  48. Well look who crawled out of bed to join us...Maureen! How the hell are ya?

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  49. DeeDee I didn't bounce off the turnip truck yesterday. I'm not going to sit in that chair. I know you've rigged it somehow. I'll let Bebbi sit there tonight.

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  50. SHIRLEY...fine, thank you. And how are you?

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  51. Maureen I'm tired and I'm going to bed. Could you keep it down in the morning please, I plan on sleeping in? Thanks! Nighty night Sweet Cheeks!! Don't sit in the chair by the window, DeeDee has it booby trapped.

    Nighty night Owls!
    Thanks for the comments today.
    Thanks for posting my blog Tina!

    **waving wildly at Lynn D**

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  52. I know this isn't Miss Manners Monday or what ever we called it lol!

    I have a etiquette question.
    Do you tell your sweet SIL that she sent you THREE Christmas cards and risk making her think she is "losing it", or keep quiet?

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  53. Mo! ROTF!! I have to admit I misplaced my card list and may have sent doubles myself lol!

    Tina,K :)

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  54. Today is my mom's birthday. She would have been 90. I'm feeling sad. I am going to go to the cemetary on my way into work. And Shirley is right, I will probably be a bitch today.

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  55. Mo, Happy Birthday to your Mom!!
    I think Of my Mother every year on her Birthday. It was just after Mother's day, so I know how you are feeling :( {{hugs}} and be just as bitchy as you want!! well, maybe for a short 20 minutes lol!

    Heading to bed. I have a lot of running around to do tomorrow. I am glad we have 2 extra vehicles!
    Nit all :):):)
    Waving at all the sweet lurkers~~~~~~

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  56. I'm not sure what "nit" is!
    NITE ALL!!

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  57. Good night, Mary!

    'weenie: Be of good cheer!

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  58. Bear and SacBarb Wishing you both safe travels.

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