by Barb
A
woman and a man are involved in a head-on collision… it’s a bad one. Both of
their cars are totally demolished but, amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After
they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man, that’s
interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing
left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This
must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in
peace for the rest of our days.”
The
man replied, “I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!”
The woman continued, “And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is
completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God
wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.”
Then
she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it
and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes
the bottle, immediately puts the cork back in, and hands it back to the man.
The
man asks, “Aren’t you having any?” The woman replies, “No. I think I’ll just
wait for the police to arrive.”
54 comments:
Barb Hahaha!! Good one! Thanks for the laugh this morning.!
Yesterday I got my hair done (cut and dyed) and then went and got my nails done. In other words, I sat on my butt a lot.
J/L, I've been sitting on my butt (mostly) for weeks now. I am feeling better, but yesterday one of my teeth started bothering me. All I need now is a tooth ache. I am hoping it goes away.
Today was my last day of working. All I have left to do is hand in my key to the building. Now I can spend even more time just sitting around on my butt. LOL
BARB - Smart cookie that lady!! lol!
SLIN - I'm sure you will look lovely as you turn your key in. Did you stock up for the dog? Congrats on your retirement ♥
FROM AREA 51:
DIANNE - He was coming from Nebraska. Still seems a little sketchy to me. We will see....
BARB IN CO via WA - Enjoy your weekend and the wedding! See you on Monday :)
So yesterday was interesting. I worked at 3 am doing Counter Mat. I was suppose to work a new schedule that would have me on my normal "Friday off" leading into my weekend that I work, and then have Monday and Tuesday off instead. Our Asst Store Leader muffed up the schedule, so instead of fixing it, I offered to come in for an hour on my day off and then try to get rid of some time next week. Later in the morning I took Sam to her store so she could get her paycheck and then I was going to drop her off at a friend's house. Long story short, my car overheated. After letting it sit for about 45 minutes (and Tim came to look at it) we were able to drive it back home. Tim has a friend that has a computer that can diagnose problems with cars. They figured out it was the water pump. After I get done with work today Tim (along with some assistance from our neighbor) will be replacing it. So frustrated!! But at least it didn't happen when Sam was on the road with it. (She was planning on driving it a couple hours north this afternoon to visit a friend)
MARY - Some crazy weather yesterday! We had a thunderstorm in Oregon, but Madison got hail, too!
10!!!
Have a great day HOoters!
P.s. Doing Counter Mat = changing out all the sale price tags every other week.
Jodi..I was wondering what counter mat was..thanks for explaining. Ok, time for a new car. Little things going wrong now so ..yup..new car shopping. I'm glad Tim can fix these things.
Barb in Wa...did they find your husbands luggage or are u shopping for wedding clothes today? Bummer. Does frontier pay for those clothes?
JL...happy Retirement and congratulations. Let's have that party now at your house. Hope you got all stocked up on dog food.
Barb..how's that toothache? I sure hope it's gone today. Your blog was very funny. Thanks for sending it in. Good morning laugh.
Ok..I'm just up for a bathroom run so back to sleep I must go...have a good day.
HOdi I'm glad Sam wasn't on the road or two hours away when the car acted up. Glad you have Tim to fix these things, too. For some reason this reminded me of your trip to Chicago for that first blog get-together. You had car trouble then, too, didn't you. Did you end up peeing on the side of the road or am I imagining things? Us old folks have tricky memories sometimes.
Dianne I don't get the dog's food at the vet but I did stock up on heartworm preventative medication and flea preventative treatments. You probably don't know anything abut fleas as they can't live in high elevations. They love the sandy coast, though. My dog doesn't have fleas and I want to make sure she continues to not have them.
JL,congrats on your retirement! I have to get our dogs heart worm meds. next week. They sure are expensive! Also it is time for Zoie's rabies shot. Money money!!
Jodi,You reminded me of all the cars I went through in my single years. Some looked like hell, and sounded worse!
Dianne,Glad we were on your bathroom break route lol!!
Barb in CO/WA, I was wondering too if the luggage showed up. You sure bop back and forth a lot to your old stomping grounds lol!
The guys here have been doing some landscaping around the deck. Looks nice :). Jim put up a humongous clock I bought for the living room.He had to put up a big screw to hold it. The ceiling is so high, that once the clock went up, it didn't look so big lol!
Mary Yes, the heartworm preventatives are expensive. You could probably find a place onlne that sells them cheaper. You would need to have a prescription written out by the vet and faxed to the place. Your veterinary office should be willing to do that for you as long as the dog's heartworm test is up to date. Something to consider.
Thanks, JL, I was wondering how that was done. I know it is cheaper to get my meds by mail.
We grilled steaks on the patio, and dam if the tank didn't dry up on us! I had to finish the steaks on the stove. I almost got away with not cooking today lol!!
I hope all is well with all of you. Time to catch up on FB....
Barb, I forgot to tell you...I loved your joke!!
Hi Everyone...went to the movie today. We went to see Sex Tapes with Cameron Diaz. It was pretty funny but I liked my ones last week better.
JL..you are right...I don't know anything about fleas. Makes me itch thinking about them.
Mary...too bad you ended up cooking. Don't you have a gauge or something on your take to tell you when you get low? I don't really know much about those either.
Barb in Co/Wa...I SAW ON FB that the luggage arrived. Was it too late and had you already done your shopping? How was the wedding?
Getting close to my reunion and I'm getting nervous. I wonder how I'm going to lose 100 pounds by Saturday!!
Dianne If you find that magical diet that helps you lose 100 lbs by Saturday, please let me know what it is. I'd like to lose a 100 lbs, too. I guess that's pretty unrealistic but about 75 lbs would make me happy.
JL...so far not so good but hey, I still have five more days so that 75 is looking good to me too.
I sure am ready for fall. It's too hot here for me. It's like about 90 but I just don't like it that warm. I'm sure glad we have air conditioning.
Had my nails done today and a little waxing. I tried to find a "young" color so I won't look as old as all those 67-68 year olds this weekend. Had my hair done last week so it's nice and dark with not a speck of grey showing. Now if I could just figure out how to get rid of the wrinkles.
Where the heck is everyone? JL and I are getting lonely. Did everyone go somewhere fun and forget to tell us?
My delete...it posted twice. For some reason every time I post it's making me log in first. Any helpful hints?
Dianne, that's weird! Usually once you log in you stay logged in, unless you share your puter/tablet with someone and they log you out to log themselves in.
We have had a couple of rainy days, but the rest of the week looks good :) I feel bad for those who have water/rain issues!
My Niece Raquel texted me today and asked me to meet her next week in Grand Rapids at a Bridal shop. She is trying on dresses! It really means a lot to me for her to include me in her special day! Having only sons, I thought I would never get to do this!
I am heading out soon to look for some flooring for my bathroom. All the walls a freshly painted and I want to update the flooring. It's a small room, so hopefully it won't cost too much.
Have a great day everyone!!
Mary How fun that you get to be part of your niece's special day trying on wedding dresses. She will look beautiful in each and every one, I'm sure. So wonderful that she invited you to join her.
I'm feeling under the weather today so just lounging around now. This morning I had a horrible stomach ache so chugged some Mylanta and went back to bad. When I woke up, I didn't have the stomach ache anymore so I just now had some chicken noodle soup and crackers. So far, so good.
Dianne I'm down 2 1/2 pounds since yesterday so only 73 1/2 more to go. LOL
Um, that was a typo. Only 72 1/2 lbs to go.
Hey HOoters. I am barely among the living today. I got an X-ray last week and they couldn't see any more fluid in my lungs, so that is good. But Friday afternoon I developed a toothache and it got worse as the weekend went on, until I finally called my dentist. He told me to come in to office at 8am Monday. So Monday morning he gave me a referral to an Endodontist and at 4pm I was having a root canal. Because I had an abscess, it will take a few days for the pain to go away. In the meantime, I am taking Norco, which makes me loopy and dizzy. So please excuse any typos.
I sm going back to bed. Just wanted to check in. BBL
Hey Ladies :-)
Been dealing with so much crap that past few days. thought everything was coming together, but nope.
Took the truck in last week to have it checked out because the gauges were acting all wonky. The diesel place we took it to said that we needed to replace the fuel injector to the tune of $5000. Ummm...no. We left for HomeWA for the wedding and when we came back Sunday, the tachometer got stuck on 4. SO Robert pulled over and turned the truck off. When he did that, the needle went all the way to the end and stayed there. So we took it to the Dodge dealer and didn't tell them what the other place said. Dealer came back with that we needed to replace the instrument cluster or some computer thingy and some filters. For $2500. So we agreed to that work. They told us 3-4 days so we rented a car. They called today that they were done already because the part was overnighted to them, we turned in the rental and got the truck. Robert got a block away and every light every gauge on the truck freaked out. So back he went to the dealer, Back we went to the rental car place. What a freaking hassle. He came home and had a shot of whiskey! LOL!
Wedding was really sweet :-) Jen is such a sweet young lady.
Luggage showed up at 5am Saturday morning. Which was after we went shopping and bought Robert clothes. He used his discount at Sports Authority though, so we got some good deals. Then the luggage showed up! Oh well. Its not like he wont use the new undies! LOL!
So now we just have to wait and see if they do indeed fix the truck without having to replace the fuel injector.
I read what everyone else posted. Hope you all are doing better, great, fantastic or all of the above!
Awe Barb in CO,sorry about the truck troubles! Almost like going to two different Drs and getting two different diagnosis, given meds, and still feeling shitty!!
SacBarb, geesh! it's about time you got a break!
JL & Dianne, You crack me up on your losing weight. I worried before our class reunion last year, but I shouldn't have bothered. We were all either heavier, bald or dead!
I preferred the heavier lol!!!
Barbara in COviaWA Gee, I'm sorry about all the trouble with the truck. You had more than your share of mishaps during that trip to attend the wedding. You should have had a shot of whiskey, too. LOL
Mary LOL I guess I'd chose overweight, too, given those three choices.
Barb Sweet dreams. Hope your feeling much better tomorrow.
Ok our reunion committee are the cheerleaders and they are still skinny and cute! Bad news. Yes, I'd rather be overweight than bald or dead but......oh well, I go through this withdrawal every five years. Louis can never understand why we go when I dread it so much but the I always like it when I'm there ..it's just that walking in the door part.
Barb, gosh I'm sorry you are feeling down and out. There has to be a light at the end of the tunnel soon for you. Enough sickness. Get well
Bar in CO....sorry for your truck issues. I hate car problems. Irritating they didn't fix it right the first time. They should pay for your second rental car ...their error. You week hasn't been going too great. I agree with JL, you should have had a shot too.
Mary, no one is one my computer so I don't know why all of a sudden I have to log in all the time.
JL..I hope you feel better tomorrow. It kind of sounds like your pregnant but no...right? We don't have to have a baby shower?
I watch the CMA show tonight from 7-10. It was really good with every country artist on there singing all the new songs. It was very enjoyable to have something to finally watch on TV for a change.
Waving a wing before I hoist and rinse. I will stop back in after work. Promise DIANNE!
DIANNE - I know it's probably time for a new car, but I LOVE my Pimpala! Hopefully I can wait until next year!
SLIN - Good memory! Yes, I did pee on the side of the road on the way to Chicago 4 years ago! Almost did this time, too. But I was in a classy neighborhood and not the side of the interstate ;)
MARY - Almost thought you had hung a humongous cock in your living room!! lol!!
BARB IN CO via WA - Sounds like you had a fun weekend! Sorry about the hiccup with your hubby's luggage. You made me giggle with the comment about his undies! Hoping things go better with the truck. So frustrating!
Waiting for a call back from the gal that cuts my hair. She is totally booked and I'm hoping she can squeeze me in.
Pretty excited for tomorrow night. I won't be going to Indianapolis this year for the DCI Finals, so my best friend from high school and I are going to the theater to watch the quarter finals. They stream the top 15 drum corps live! It will be great to see the changes everyone has made in the last couple of weeks! And it's almost better than being there. They use both an up close camera and one from up high! I'm just really going to miss seeing the Mom's I met last year. What a great group of ladies. And they all have talented kids!!
Dianne If you've gone to a class reunion every 5 years then I don't think anyone will be expecting you to walk in looking like Twiggy. Go and enjoy!
HOdi LOL @ thinking Mary hung a humongous cock in her living room. I don't think Jim would care for that décor. LOL
Yay! Amy can work me in at 8 pm tonight. No more shaggy dog ;)
HOdi I hope you didn't bite the groomer. ;)
Mary hung a what in her living room????
Jodi: Get that shaggy mane cut! LOL! You have adorbs hair, so I'm sure it wasn't too shaggy :-)
Dianne: Don't worry about the reunion. Like you said, once you get there you will have a great time!
Have a great day Barb, Lin, Jodi, Mary and Miss Dianne!
SLIN - I would never bite Amy! Bwahahaha!
50!
BARB IN CO via WA - It just gets to the point that my bangs are in my eyes, the back is too thick, and the side wings make me look like I could take flight 😉 Thank you. Love your cut, too! The key to letting it go natural, is to keep it sassy!
I am pooped! I just got back from volunteering at our VFW. We had an antique car show on main street in front of our club. We sold out of everything food wise! We thought we would lose business to the guy across the street selling BBQ, ribs and pork sandwiches. I guess his prices were so high, that peeps decided to eat with us lol! My foot is still tender, so I tried to stay off my feet as much as possible.
I see my Chiro again tomorrow. My body is so discombobulated!
Good grief, I spelled "discombobulated" and spell check didn't correct me lol!!!
Later....
I rolled out of bed st 8pm to watch Hollywood Game Night. with Jane Lynch and 6 other celebs. It's really a cute show. The Norco is keeping me wiped out! I am going to try to take only Advil tomorrow and hope that will control the abscess pain.
Dianne, I think I see a glimmer of light at the end of this long tunnel. I just hope it's not an oncomming train! ;)
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