by Dianne
Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained,
"It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone."
Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology.
Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him,
"Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I'd locked the house with both house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys.
"Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire."
"When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook."
He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels and the phone was still ringing. When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke."
"Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. And believe me mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her."
50 comments:
Thank you, Dianne.
Bad night. Couldn"t sleep. I had only used Tylenol yesterday and it just wasn't cutting it. Had to take some Norco which requires that I eat something. Put Eggos I the toaster. I teeny part of one got overly browned, setting off two of my new smoke alarms.
What a pain in the ass!
Here you are!!
Funny joke!!
JL, Holey smoke!! you need someone to pamper you!I feel so bad, I wish I could help :(
Are you able to drive at all?
Jodi, speaking of "driving", yikes. I would have done the same thing! Heavy traffic can be intimidating!!
Dianne. I have been having some funny visuals of you laying nekkid on the table lol!
Mary....only half naked with my paper cover up in your visual. What if I would have crashed on the floor? OW!!
JL, I'm so sorry your feeling so bad. I too wish you lived closer. I'd be bringing you some food. Are you in a cast or sling or what? I hope you feel better soon.
Jodi, I'm telling you these kids never quit being a worry..never. Now that will give you something to look forward to.
Another lousy night. I can take pain meds once every 6 hours. If I also have ice pack on my shoulder, I can actually find about one hour in there where I can actually sleep. Also, the strap on the sling is rubbing sore spot on my neck so I now have a folded pillow case stuck between the strap and my neck. I look really spiffy.
Dianne --- You were naked on a table? Somehow I missed that.
Mary --- It hurts too much to do anything right now but I hope I can drive one-handed when I'm a little better and not on the pain meds.
I ordered groceries online from Safeway night before last and they delivered them yesterday. First delivery is free. That was really helpful and a blessing right now. I didn't want to ask a friend to go do a major shopping trip for me.
J/L, I feel so badly for you. I wish I could help you. I ordered groceries from Safeway a couple of years ago when I hurt my right leg and had to wear one of those big boots. I couldn't drive and I didn't want to ask anyone to shop for me. It was very convenient and I could get exactly what I wanted. The guy brought it all in the house, and all I had to do was put it all away. My first order was free and the next order was only $10 for delivery fee. I felt it was well worth it.
When I was taking Norco, my doctor told me I could take ibuprophin between the Norco doses or even at the same time to boost the effect. The doctor told me not to take Tylenol when you are taking Norco because Norco has Tylenol in it and you can overdose.
Dianne, thanks for the laugh. I'm so glad you didn't fall off the table. That would have been very embarrASSing.
Waving a wing to all the other Owls. Have a good day.
Hellllloooooooooo!!!!!
*sniff sniff* I'm all alone again :(
Waaaaaaaa!!
Boo hoo :'(
I'm here and I here you Mary. I was out for awhile today and tonight but home in bed now.
Tomorrow is my fantasy football draft and I haven't even looked at the players. I have a printed commuter list and that's about it.
My daughter had her boyfriend move out after three years do she could concentrate and spend more time raising the girls. Finally!!! The kids are thrilled to have him gone and I think it will be so much better for Tammy. She says it's still her boyfriend but we shall see how that pans out because he is being more of a jerk than usual.
JL, how are you doing? Any better? Hope so. Your friend probably would be glad to help you out. And yes, I was naked on the drs table not my table!
Barb, you getting energy back yet ? .
Mary, I know how to spell hear you (not here you)
Damn! I wrote a comment and it disappeared. It's too difficult to type it all again as it is time for me to find something to eat so I can take pain pill.
Earthquake!
JL, you cant just yell "earth quake" and not check in!!! I sure hope you are ok! How scary!
Dianne, LOL, I never noticed your misspelling ;-)
I hope your daughter hangs tough and keeps him out, especially if her children were happy to see him go! Get busy with your Fantasy Football!! Good luck with our teams this year! I need to get my tassels out!
Tomorrow I am helping at the VFW for a funeral dinner. A local gal committed suicide. She had two younger brothers die young. One drowned the day he graduated and the other fell asleep with his car running in the garage. There Dad who was an alcoholic died when he tripped (drunk) on the steps going into his house. There are 3 sons left. Great guys in spite of their upbringing.Not sure how their Mom died, but I know the kids were little at the time because they lived a few miles from us. Their step mom was a wacko!
Well, aren't I a bucket of cheer tonight lol!
Later...
Mary - Sorry. I should have written again after my earthquake announcement. Don't forget, I'm on drugs. LOL It was located where my daughter lives but she's in Canada right now. Her boyfriend said some glass broke and few other things fell but otherwise everything okay.
Hello HOoters.
Well, it seems everyone I know felt the earthquake except me. I was even awake. No damage except when I went into the kitchen, some of the drawers were slightly open. They are those soft close drawers and they open and close very easily.
Mary, I am feeling much better and almost back to my old and I do mean OLD, self. It has been a long haul, thanks for asking.
Dianne, Maybe the boyfriend moving out will help with the granddaughter who was acting out.
J/L, It was good talking to you today. I am definitely recording Bachelor in Paradise tomorrow night and watching the Emmys. Maybe we can coordinate the Tuesday night TV schedule.
Jodi, Nice vid of your ALS challenge.
Barb. - I think that will work to coordinate our TV schedule and have a Bachelor in Paradise marathon on Tuesday. Too bad I can't drink wine while taking these pain meds. I made sure I'd have enough when I had Safeway deliver. Oh, well. Taking the pain meds are my priority right now. I'll sip Coke from a wine glass and just whine. LOL
Hey, where is everyone? I'm shuffling around here by myself like an old lady with my arm in a sling. My days are very boring right now. I did have resolution to constipation problems. TMI? LOL
SLIN - Hope you are feeling stronger everyday :)
MARY - I don't mind the traffic so much, but throw road construction into the mix, and ugh!!! You know we only have 2 seasons here in Wisconsin. Winter and road construction. lol!!
BARB - Thank you. Jake was only too happy to "dump on me" ;)
Sorry to be the wayward owl. I spent the night at LOIS's on Friday. My 4th year of going to Depot Days. We had a blast!! Burn n' Bush played in the beer garden and I even made it to the magic hour of 2 am. So less the 20 minute cat nap I took at about 6 pm, I was up 24 hours! Saturday morning I got a text from Sam. She had a major panic attack at work and ended up going home early. She couldn't calm down and was at a friends house in Madison, so she took a cab to Urgent Care. Of course, my time in the stix was cut short. I couldn't stay down there while my girl was hurting. Paul picked her up from Urgent Care and I got home about an hour and a half after they got home. She got into the Dr yesterday. He prescribed an anti depressant and another pill to take if she has more attacks until the anti depressant kicks in. She also got a referral for counseling. She doesn't even feel like she can drive right now. Thankfully Tim doesn't go back to school until next week, so he has been taking her to work, and then I pick her up after. I think the last year has taken it's toll on her. The apartment situation, her car, the break up with Nate. Time to focus on her and get her well.
Busy week here. Sam's birthday is today and Jake's is tomorrow. Jake also has Tug of War World Championships that start on Thursday in Madison along with 2 football games this week. *I think I need a nap....or a drink* ;)
Jodi, Sam may be realizing that it's not that easy to be an adult sometimes. We never stop needing our Moms! I miss mine every day. You are such a good Mom and always there for your kids. I hope Counseling will help Sam to balance her life. ♥
J/L, I'm so glad that yucky stuff you had to drink solved that issue.
Jodi, P.S. your two seasons cracked me up!
Thanks BARB. Praying that I'm doing right by my kids. Glad our seasons make you laugh!!
Well, I decided a hulamoo was in order. Just have to get my coffee ready to brew in the morning, then I'm going to bed.
Good night HOoers <3
Goodness....HOoters!! Lol! *I guess I am more buzzed than I thought* ;)
HOdi - Sorry about Sam's troubles. I hope she gets better soon after she has a "breather".
Looking forward to watching the "train wreck" tonight. I'm only on Tylenol this afternoon so hope to have some wine along with you.
Thanks SLIN. Hope u winefully enjoyed said wreck ;)
40!
Hi Everyone ....Jodi, these kids will worry us forever and then come the grandchildren. It's hard. I hope the counselor helps Sam out. I'm a big believer in counseling and prayer.
JL, I'm glad you pooped. That's literally a pain not doing that. Must have been those pain pills. Are you felling any better?
Barb, you are feeling better so that's good. I can already see a difference in the girls with him gone. They are coming out of their rooms. We r getting the locks changed too. He even too the damn tp. He's driving me crazy. He still thinks he's coming back when the girls get happy. ...not.
I was laying in bed two. Nights ago playing on ipad and got a shooting pain down right leg. I could barely get out of bed or walk for two days. Had to cancel a dr appt. I almost couldn't get in car and had to use cane. Today it is somewhat better. I don't need cane except to lean on to get out of bed and doesn't hurt as much. I'm tired of all my ailments when I'm just sitting here and the attack me
Dianne, Maybe you should have kept the Dr. appt. and asked him about the pain in your leg. Did it start in your butt and go all the way down your leg? I have had two serious attacks of sciatica and those are the symptoms. I had to have physical therapy to relieve it but it worked wonderfully. I also took some pain reliever for the first few days. To quote Bette Davis: Getting old is NOT for sissies!
J/L, I hope you are doing better today. Did the wine help you sleep last night?
You are doing a great job with your kids. The most important thing, imho, is never giving up on them. My oldest thanked me once for never giving up on him and to myself I said, "if you only knew how much I gave up on you." As long as he never knew it, it was OK. The teenage years were rough, but he finally turned out to be a productive human being! LOL
That last post is meant for Jodi.
Mary, Hellooooo!
Barb - No, wine did not help. Pain went up a few notches by midnight so I was back on the pain pills. Doctor gave me another 100 so I ought to be good for a while. I find I need to take them every 4 hours. On the bright side, I am better than I was a week ago. It's just going to be a long 6-8 weeks. I hate having my arm in this sling and it's difficult for me to sleep in a fixed, semi-sitting position.
HOdi - How did you manage with your broken arm and your busy household and schedule. Trying to blow dry my hair and style it at all with only my left hand is a real joke.
Dianne - Sorry about your leg. I agree with Barb that it sounds like sciatica. It's a real pain in the ass (and leg).
JL...there is a new blog today ..Thursday
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