by SacBarb
A woman and a man are involved in a head-on collision… it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man, that’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.”
The man replied, “I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!”
The woman continued, “And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.”
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, and drinks half the bottle, handing it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cork back in, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?”
The woman replies, “No. I think I’ll just wait for the police to arrive.”
66 comments:
Barb LOL! Good one! I hope everyone has a good day. I will be heading out at some point to try and do more Christmas shopping.
Where is everybody? Today I bought a HDTV for my granddaughter for in her bedroom at my son's house. I also happened to buy two sweaters and a top for me. LOL Hey, I made fudge tonight! I do not plan on baking this season. I'm just not up to it.
I'm here. Well, that's quite a nice gift for your granddaughter. Does she know you got it for her? What size did you get Her? I always end up buying things for me too when I'm Christmas shopping. There are so many good deals out there. Guess I won't bake either if you're not!!
Barb, good joke today. Made me laugh.
Jodi, received your card. The pictures turned out nice. You always take a good picture.
Dianne No, my granddaughter doesn't know I bought her a TV for when she's at her Dad's house. It's a Samsung 32" HDTV. I bought my grandson and son a gift to share; a Playstation 4, which also comes with the game my grandson wants. Then their Playstation 3 will be moved to Kaylee's room so she'll be able to stream her movies on Netflix on her new TV.
I'll be sending this fudge to my brother and will probably make another big pan to take to my daughter's house on Christmas day. I feel guilty about not making a bunch of cookies like I usually do but I'm kind of running behind schedule ever since I broke my shoulder. Besides the break, I also really strained some tendons in that arm when I put my arms out to keep my face from hitting the floor. My arm still isn't 100%.
Dianne2 I forgot to tell you that I had my hair lightened the other day and now I'm quite the redhead.
BARB - Ha!! Thanks for the chuckle this morning!
SLIN - Hey pretty lady! I got my baking in the mail yesterday. I ordered cookies from The Honolulu Cookie Company. Kind of a splurge, but I haven't ordered them for a couple of years. I have enough to share at the Jacobson and Huston Christmas's.
DIANNE - I'm glad you got the card. And thank you! I'm not thrilled with my pic, but it is what it is.
Picking up a few things I ordered online at Target after I have lunch with my Dad's brother Fred today. I don't think I've seen him since right after my Dad's funeral, and reached out this week and made a lunch date. After my Grandparents passed on that side of the family, we don't get together like we should. Looking forward to catching up with Uncle Fred today. I also have to run to Janesville to the Gander Mountain tomorrow and pick up one of Tim's gifts. I still haven't gotten any ideas from Sam & Nate and Jake. Ugh!!! Good thing I work well under pressure ;)
10!!!
Best get prettied up for work. Have a great day HOoters ♥
Jodi, The pics turned out great! Thanks for the card.
J/L, I am not baking this year either, but I am cooking for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I am hoping that Dean's MIL goes to her son's house in Phoenix for Christmas so my DIL can come here with Dean.
Dianne, Are you all set for Christmas. I'm sure you're cooking a big meal for your family! LOL
Thanks BARB! And you're welcome :)
Hi everyone..
BARB, I've been cooking every day with Christmas just around the corner. My house smells like a restaurant. Do you believe me? I didn't think so? I did offer to cook something to take to my sons for Christmas Eve brunch but I cannot get his wife to respond. I've called, talked to my son, emailed and texted and no response. Guess I wont bring anything if I don't hear soon. Do you think that's okay?
JL, I want to see a picture of that red hair. We might start looking like sisters!! Nice gifts you bought your family.
Mary, what are you doing?
I guess everyone is finishing their shopping and wrapping. I have some wrapping to do but I'm doing it tonight while the country Christmas special is on. Louis will have to watch football in another room. I'm taking over the living room for once but I have given him notice.
Guess I better go run my errands before the places close.
HOdi I got your card today. How cute! Good job getting those pics. They're great! Thank you for sending me one.
Dianne I don't usually get the grandkids such expensive gifts but it seemed like the thing to do this year. I just got done wrapping the TV. That was tricky. It is in a box, of course, but rather large and awkward to deal with. Plus, I kept cutouts on the sides where the cardboard box has cutouts to use as handholds. I wanted to keep those available to make it easier to carry out to the car on Christmas.
JL, they are going to be so excited and it will make you so much excited to see their reaction. I enjoy that part so much. Louis asked me tonight when I'm going to start cutting back ( he was sorting the gifts). I told him probably when he retires next year.. That won't be fun. The one that's not fun is my daughter in law. I try so hard to figure out what to get her and she shows no reaction. It could be a bag of chips. This year i got her a very pretty necklace with the kids birthstones on it..I'm sure it will be the same and im all excited.
We kind of finished wrapping tonight the last minute things that seem to keep arriving. That darn Amazon. Lol.
Jodi, did you ever figure out what to get your kids?
Well, time for sleep now. JL, I didn't watch the game tonight. How did your team do? I hope you beat San Diego.
DIANNE - How rude to not respond. I guess that means you don't have to bring anything!! Drove to Janesville to pick up Tim's gift at Gander Mountain and stopped at Target on the way back to pick up the game Jake wanted for his XBox. Still have Sam and Nate to buy for. If I don't get any suggestions, I know I can always get them gift cards from my store.
SLIN - Your grand kids will be thrilled with the gifts you got them! Thank you and you're welcome pretty lady ♥
We have our Jacobson Christmas today. Have to run to the store to get makings for the green bean casserole x 3!! One for today, one for Christmas Eve and one for Olson Christmas next Saturday! I about fainted when I got a text from my brother yesterday. He wanted Sam's address so he can send her a card. He also said "I'll see you tomorrow". I responded that she was back at home and I was looking forward to seeing him. Love you!! And....nothing. I did send him and his wife a card this year (my Mom wouldn't have been pleased if I hadn't). Today should be interesting. I keep sending him love. It's all I can do.
Dianne I hope your DIL likes the necklace and lets you know. Some people just aren't demonstrative but they can at least express some appreciation.
I was at a Christmas party yesterday and didn't watch the game closely but we really sucked during the last half. We were ahead 28-7 earlier then when I got home from party I saw we were in overtime at 35-25 and then we lost! I don't know what's going on with the team but it's gotten to be ridiculous.
Hodi I hope you have a lovely time at your family celebration and that your brother doesn't ruin it for you.
I fail at being an Owl. I'm so sorry I dont stop by as often as I should. I'm so grateful I see all of you regularly on FB.
SLIN - I had a really good time. Eric and Brenda both talked to me. Baby steps....
BARB IN COviaWA - No worries!! Stop in when you can. Love u lady ♥
Jodi, I'm so glad you had a good time and that you brother and SIL were nice to you. I totally understand about doing things in regards to your mom. I'm the same way about my dad. If only they all could be as sweet as we all are...right? Lol. Seriously, I'm really happy it turned out good.
Well, I heard back on my bringing something for brunch from my son (not DIL) to bring a breakfast casserole SO yes girls....I will be cooking Christmas Eve morning. Beware. My oven won't know what happened when I turn that baby on. Hope I remember how.
I had a fun lunch with one of my good friends today. We usually see each other every week but she's been sick do it's been three weeks. Oh you know her, Barb that came with me to Amboy. She picked me up at 12:30 and we didn't come home until 5:30. We went to a new cute place all decorated and Christmas music and had brunch and caught up on three weeks plus had our little gift exchange. Louis thought we got lost!!
Barb in Co....you are a good owl, we just like seeing you when possible. It's been a busy year for you.
JL..this football is crazy lately. Teams are beating layoff teams. I hope that doesn't happen tomorrow night!! Louis is in our Fantasy Football super bowl this weekend but things aren't looking good for him either. It was his first time and he was so excited. My nephew wins every year and he came from behind and looks like he is going to win again..$250. Louis didn't even care about the $$.
Tomorrow, get to wash these strands of glitter that have turned grey out of my hair for another month.
Night...
First it's snowing then the sun is out. I'm sitting in the car after lunch passing time until my hair appt. it's 42 out so chilly. Maybe I'll take a little nap listening to Christmas music
DIANNE - Can't decide what it wants to do here, either! It's been warmer (in the high 30's) and spitting rain one minute and snow the next. Ugh! I wouldn't even mind if we got some snow if it meant the sun could come out!! It's been gloomy here for almost 3 weeks. Did you nap? Did you make it to your appointment on time?
DIANNE - Hope the Broncos win tonight!! I have my tassels on!! GO BRONCOS!
ugh....Bronco's are not going to make it to the Super Bowl if they continue to play like they have been :-(
I procrastinated on ordering gifts this year, and looks like some stuff from Costco is not going to be delivered until Dec 30-Jan 5. FFS. I even paid extra for overnight shipping to get it there before Christmas, and they are still charging me for that! I'm beyond being mad. Whats the point. There is nothing I can do about it. And its my fault for ordering so late. A bunch of stuff is suppose to be delivered Christmas Eve. Good thing we will be there all day. I'm going to be up all night wrapping! We leave at 5am for the airport. I wont be able to stop by during the week, but will see you all on FB. I can get that on my phone!
I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!!!
katie just sent me a text asking if i sent a package to their house with both her and tim's name on it. i knew right away that if it had tim's name on it, he opened it. it was for bryan. i think amazon has both their names on the address because i sent them an anniversary present. tim is horrible about opening mail and packages that are not for him. he's a big freaking kid that cant stand to not open stuff. only child syndrome. thinks everything is for him.
HOdi I'm so glad that things went well at your family gathering. Hopefully, things will be even better the next time you see your brother.
Dianne I think you should take a photo of your breakfast casserole and post it on FB. Is it one of those Tater Tot casseroles? I've always wondered about those but have never made one. I do love Tater Tots.
Barbara in COviaWA I would be upset, too, to pay for overnight delivery and then be told they won't be delivered until after Christmas. That's just not right. The recipients will understand why you didn't shop earlier. You've been moving, for Pete's sake. You were pretty darn busy.
My back and neck have not been happy today. I think it's from wrapping gifts and wrapping stocking stuffers. I'm basically done except I want to wrap one more present. I would like to get a nice box for it and made the mistake of going to Michael's today to look for one. It was 3 in the afternoon and the traffic on the highway was hideous. I get to the shopping center and it was packed and I drove around a while waiting for a parking space to open up. Then I go into Michael's and it was packed with people and had huge lines at the cash registers. To top it off, they had sold out of boxes yesterday!
Oh, and I made another batch of fudge tonight.
BARB IN COviaWA - Ugh! Sorry about the hang up with the gifts! And boys will be boys...just sayin'! Safe travels and Merry Christmas!
DIANNE - Tough loss last night. They were ahead when I fell asleep!
SLIN - Sorry you went out in that mess just to not find the box you needed! I still need to wrap gifts, but am planning on doing that after my shift leader meeting today. Short of greeting me and saying good-bye, he didn't say much. Not sure when I will see him again. I talked to James' Mom Sunday morning. She told me James doesn't even want to see Eric on Christmas. He and Brenda flew out to NYC to see James march in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, and they just saw him for a fleeting moment right after the parade. I guess Eric cried when he gave James a hug. I know he loves his son and hopefully is finally understanding how his actions (and Brenda's controlling behavior) has affected his relationships with his family. I know my brother is hurting. I just keep sending him love. It's all I can do.
SLIN - p.s. I hope your back simmers down!!
Jodi, Maybe your brother is also finally realizing what family means to him. But as you said, baby steps!
J/L, So did you find another box you can use since Michael's was out? I got a delivery today that I had to send to San Diego, so I just wrapped the box in gift wrap paper and slapped a Priority mail label on it and took it right to the Post Office. It won't get there until Friday, though. I thought I was going to get the item after Christmas, so I am happy that it is only going to be one day late!
I'm still waiting for a couple of things too. I ordered them overnight through Amazon but ups emailed there is a hold up. Ug..having Christmas at todds tomorrow and need some of that for then. I'm usually not so last minute on anything.
JL...I just got done making my hash brown bake. All I have to do is bake in the morning before we leave. I couldn't even find my pan for a few minutes. It reminded me why I don't cook and all that dang mess!!! It better taste good.
Jodi...it was a terrible loss last night. Manning is nit doing very well lately. Some people want him to retire. They say he's like your Brett but then they say that after one game. I don't think we will get to the super bowl this year. It might be best if we didn't.
Had snow all day lightly yesterday but it's all gone today and sun is shining. I hope it stays this way through the holidays.
JL..I think the stores are crazy right now. You were brave to venture out. I went to grocery store last night early and that's it. I have a couple of things to wrap.
I have lost two things so I as worried and awake at 7 looking everywhere this morning. I still haven't found them. How can I lise something In my small house? Makes me crazy.
Tomorrow my brother turns 65. Medicare awaits him.
Dianne just spanked me so here I am lol! Sorry I have been mia.
if it wasn't for FB I wouldn't keep up with you gals!
I had to laugh at you Dianne. I was hunting around for a gift I hid and found one from 2 yrs ago lol!!! Along with it I found the mate to a fave. sandal that I looked for all summer!They were in Jim's side of the closet tucked next to the safe.
I am having my son and his family over tomorrow night (Christmas Eve). We always do it on the Eve and just space out on Christmas Day. I am making a full Mex. meal.
JustLin, so you are a hot red head now eh?
How nice that you are making family connections. This is a great time of year to do that. I try to stay in touch with my family members, but sometimes it is not so east to do to those that have hurt you or your family as you know from reading our book. My Aunts on my Father's side were always condescending to my Mother.It still stings when I think of it.
SacBarb, I can't remember if I thanked you for the beautiful card! I loved it :) I wish I had the patience to make them.
Barb in CO, I feel for you on the late deliveries! My sistert in Texas who is not in the best of health stayed up late making me tamales which are very hard to make. She sent them to me frozen and they should h ave been overnight. That was 4 days ago! Sadly they will be spoiled! All that work!
I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas! Love and miss you all!!!
Dianne, can I get off of the naughty mat now? :)
Hodi, that unnamed comment was to you lol!!
Mary I'm so sorry about your sister's tamales. What a waste! Did you make your own? I know how much work they are but it's traditional this time of year to have them, isn't it? When my son was still married, his MIL (now deceased) you to make them every year and I really enjoyed them. I did get to have one at a party I went to on Saturday. One of the retired veterinarians I used to work for made them. She said her mother insisted on teaching her how. LOL
Should have been "used to make..." not "you to make". LOL
50!!!
DIANNE - Our true test will be on Sunday when we play the Lions! Thankfully we play at home. Happy Birthday to Bruce!!
MARY - I would love it if we could get back the relationship we once had. Like I said before, I keep sending him love. But I will not put up with the judging and unconditional love from him and his wife. He's my brother, not my father. I deserve more than that. This is why I have surrounded myself with awesome people (like all you HOoters!!!). No judgement and love me for who I am. New kind of family!!
It's too bad about the tamales. I've never had them before. But I remember TINA raving about them.
BARB - 'Tis the season for butt-dialing!! lol!
SLIN - Is your back any better today?
I best hit the shower. I have a mammogram appt at 7:30 and Jake has pt at 9:45.
Wishing you all a joyous Christmas! Love u all ♥
Merry Christmas Eve, HOoters! I made a bunch of sugar cookies last night and will be decorating them today. I have one small gift to wrap but it's just going in a gift bag so no big deal. Otherwise, I am ready for tomorrow, thankfully.
HOdi My back is still bothering me and my neck is bothering me even worse. :(
Jodi, so sorry for waking you up with that butt dial. I hope you could get right back to sleep.
Happy Christmas Eve. I am very busy fixing the clam sauce and getting things ready for the rest of the dinner and doing some prep for tomorrow's dinner. I will be glad when Friday is here.
J/L. Sorry to hear your back is bothering you. I hope it's better by tomorrow.
Dianne, I used to hide things all the time because I had nosey kids at home, and then I would forget where I hid them. Now I don't hide anything, but I still lose things because I can't remember where I put them. It's very frustrating!
Mary, What a shame about the tamales. Your sister should be able to recover the cost of shipping because they didn't get there when promised.
Barb Gee, that's a lot to do, both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day dinner. I'm exhausted just from making fudge and cookies. I thought I was only going to make fudge but then I felt guilty and baked cookies at the last minute; the frosted sugar cookies and peanut butter/Kiss cookies. If I would have known I'd feel guilty and end up making them, I would have done it all a lot earlier and had them in the freezer. LOL
LOL @ you butt dialing HOdi.
SLIN - I think a hot toddy is in order...STAT!! Feel better soon pretty lady ♥
BARB - No worries. I was able to get back to sleep and sneak a nap in yesterday!!
Christmas Eve was fun with the Huston family! I did leave before opening presents. Damn near fell asleep on the couch after our Lutefisk feast!
Wishing you all a beautiful Christmas!!
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