by Dianne
A
Mormon was seated next to an Irish Catholic on a flight from London to the US.
After
the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a
whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before
him.
The
flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a cocktail. He replied
in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor
touch my lips."
The
Irish Catholic then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me
too. I didn't know we had a choice."
23 comments:
Dianne Bwahahaha! That was a good joke.
Congrats on the 50 lb weight loss. That's really, really impressive. I have been stuck around the 25 lb mark for a long time as I keep going off and not minding my diet. I really need to do better at it and tell myself "no" more often.
Have things been quiet on the Jake-ass front? I hope so.
I really want to see the movie "Dunkirk" but my movie partners are probably going to see it with another couple that are relations of theirs. I may have to go to a matinee alone but that's okay. Long ago, I used to go alone to matinees and enjoyed it a lot. I do need to have buttered popcorn and a Coke when I'm at the movies. It's my ritual. :)
Barb Not doing the flashing correctly is not good. I'm kind of hoping that when the inspector comes to check out your roof that he/she notices work being done next door. It would serve that guy right to get caught and have to redo his roof properly.
Are you totally loving your new car?
Mary Yikes on having all those bees in your house, especially when Jim is allergic to the sting. Where were they coming from? Is there a hive under your roof eave or something?
You are always so busy. Meanwhile, I have nothing going on and get nothing done. I do read a lot. LOL
J/L, I, too, am hoping the inspector will notice the roof next door and check to see if it has a permit. They have done more work on it since mine has been started. I wonder if seeing mine gave them some motivation to finish.
The Jennifers and I went to see The Big Sick and we really liked it. It wasn't on my list of movies to see, but Jenn wanted to see it so we all went and I'm glad I did.
I haven't driven my car much because the roofers have been here and I haven't gone anywhere. They have supplies and equipment all over my driveway and the new car is in the carport. My Saturn is on the street in front of my house, so I used it yesterday when I went to Togo's to pick up a salad for lunch. Most of the time there has only been one man working on my roof and he is really working hard. He didn't leave last night until around 6:00 so he could finish the dry rot repair and he was back at 6:30 this morning. One of the reasons the repair cost so much is because the original roof had only 1/8" plywood and the new part has 1/4" plywood. They told me the reason there was so much damage was because the original plywood was so thin. So now it will all be the same. I guess that's a good thing.
Mary, Having all those bees in the house would scare the hell out of me. On the one hand I would hate to kill them because they are so beneficial to our environment, but then I would be so afraid of getting stung! We used to have a courtyard between our garage and the front door and my Hubby was planting in it and putting in a waterfall. He had to make a hole in the wall to put the electric cord through for the waterfall and in no time a Queen bee got in there and we had hundreds of bees going in and out of the hole. We called a bee keeper and he came and got the hive out. He lost very few bees and we were very happy to be rid of them, but we had a big hole in the wall we had to repair. About ten years after that we enclosed the courtyard and now it is the dining area part of the kitchen.
Dianne, That was a funny joke. I am eating Jenny Craig food most of the time. I like most of it and the ones I am not too crazy about, I get things I like instead. I can make up my own menu or use theirs and they have desserts that satisfy my sweet tooth. They also have salty snacks like cheese curls and cheesy crisps that taste a lot like cheese nips. When I go out to eat, I try to be careful about ordering.
Ladies Day at the fair was really nice even though it was hot and humid.
We had an awesome speaker who talked on a book she had written about her Father and the letters he wrote to his wife during his service in WW2. The title is " 1,000 Letters".
She had us in tears a few times.
About the bee s.. evidently when our kitchen was remolded years ago, the contractor didn't properly seal a corner. We had a side door removed to put in a pantry in the kitchen. We looked outside and found where they were coming in. They must have found a way under the new siding. I tried to swat a few out the patio door, but they just kept coming and landing on the window above my sink. I sprayed them with Dawn mixed with water. If I could have seen the hive/nest, I would have called some one to remove them, but it must have been deep in the siding. :(
We had an "Antenna man" come today to put a booster on our antenna. We have a satellite dish , but I like reg./local channels on my kitchen and spare bedroom tv. I like watching Perry Mason,Twilight Zone and Alfred Hitchcock hour before bed.
I need to go back to area 51 to check the last comments, check FB, and hit the sac to my ^^^ above shows lol!
Hello....thinking of you all tonight. Hoping your weekend is peaceful and enjoyable.
Hi, Dianne Yeah, I'm thinking of our group, too, and remembering back to when I first met you all in Chicago. This latest news about Heidi has been really hard to take.
I love you all.
JL, yes it has been. How quick things can change in our lives.
Love u too
Hi..thought I'd write a little.
Went to lunch with cousin for Chinese and treated myself to some ice cream on the way home. I finally started going through my summer clothes and getting rid of some I haven't worn forever. I found three tops the same color and same size exactly alike. I just have really liked that one. I wish would have been a smaller size. I still have the closet to do but got a whole trash bag full already . I at least have things hanging by colors.
Louis is trading in his car for another tomorrow. We lease. He wants one with more things in it. I had to remind him he's planning on retiring in Msy so can't be increasing those payments. I think he's looking at a GMC Denali. He's very excited.
Barb, what is that movie about? We were thinking about going to see it. Louis and I went Friday night to see Dunkirk. It was good and I like true stories. It was sad too.
Mary, no more bees? I hope not. Did you get all the tv things worked out in you new room?
JL, did you go out with your friends for dinner?
I can't get Heidi out of my mind. My heart just hurts. I was just beginning to not think about Sorority Sharon and now with the news about Heidi, all of it has come rushing back.
Dianne, The Big Sick is about a comedian who is dating a woman who gets sick and has to be put in a medically induced coma. It sounds like a sad movie, but it also has a lot of comedy too. It's a true story about the actor that plays the lead and his wife, who wrote the screenplay. It was a good movie.
J/L, It looks like my roof won't get done until Tueday. I will be so happy not to have to get up at 6:00 am. I did sleep in today until 10:00. The cats finally woke me up. I usually feed them around 9:00 and I guess they were hungry.
I'm up much too early today. I woke up at 5:30 a,m. Had a sugar free popsicle and got on iPad. I was up.later too so I'll have to try and go back to sleep for awhile. I like when I sleep to at least 9.
Barb, that does sound like a good movie. Maybe Barb and I will try it. Well. At least your roof will be done before your neighbors. Lol.
I think all our hearts are hurting plus the feeling of being helpless is hard.
Barb Like you, I was just starting to get over the shock of my school friend passing away and now this shocking news about Heidi. Such bad news is so hard to accept when there is nothing that can be done to change it. It also brings back how it was for my mother at the end and that is upsetting.
I thought I would finally get my paints out yesterday but then I didn't. I'm not sure what my problem is. I am a procrastinator for sure. I also get sidetracked. Yesterday, I ended up spending time doing housework instead of painting. I also had to give my car a bit of a wash as some large birds had flown over.
Dianne No dinner with my friends. Our usual night for that is Tuesdays but once in a while we change it due to other obligations. I want to see Dunkirk and I also am interested in seeing The Big Sick. Dunkirk is the kind of movie best seen on a large screen and I bet it will be nominated for Best Picture. A former co-worker of mine posted on FB that she felt like she was holding her breath through the whole thing.
When I awaken at 4 a.m. and am hungry it's not a sugar free popsicle that I reach for. I'm more like to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. LOL This is why you are losing weight and my weight loss is stalled. LOL
I made spaghetti with meat sauce the other night. I think I was wanting "comfort food". I had leftovers last night and will probably have it again tonight. This is one reason I thought I'd get my paints out yesterday....because I wouldn't have to worry about cooking something for dinner.
Mary Waving a wing at you. Here's hoping the bees have found a new home far from you. I was stung behind the ear once when I was a teenager. I have no idea if it was a bee or a wasp but I remember it hurt a lot. My brother was once stung on the tongue when he was a little kid. That must have hurt even worse.
Hi.....Mary...we r all wondering about the bees and if they returned?
I received my blood sugar tesults for the last three months and it went down again. I'm so darn excited. That was my main goal when I gave up soda and it's gone down twice now....makes it all worth it. I'm sure I will have a gain tomorrow with all this prednisone I'm on. Today was the first day I didn't cough my head off. I'm hoping it's finally kicking in.
JL, well did you all go out last night? I love Italian food. I could eat it every day. Good idea of making left overs. Did you get the paints out yet? I cleaned half my summer closet on Sunday have the other part to go. Amazing what I don't wear anymore to get rid of even a couple of things with tags. Ouch getting stung on the tongue!!!
Louis got a GMC Acadia yesterday. It's a red/burgundy color and really nice. He's very excited. I get to get a new Rav 4 lunch limited tomorrow. My other one held the value do my payment us just going up slightly. I'm sticking with red. I cleaned out my car tonight. At least I can sort through a few things before I load up the new car.
Barb, have you had a chance to enjoy your new car yet? I'll bet you love it.
Dianne, I do love my new car, but I haven't had a chance to drive it much. It's in the carport and the roofers have all their equipment in the driveway so I can't get it out. They told me they were going to use the driveway, so I decided I would leave the new car there because I didn't want to park it out on the street. I have my Saturn parked on the street and I have been driving it when I have to go somewhere. I haven't gone much this week and last week because of the roofers. They have had to come in the house a few times to measure for the solar tubes. I think they will put them in tomorrow. I had the woman that painted my kitchen over tonight to talk about painting the eaves and trim after the roof is done, which at this point looks like Thursday or maybe even Friday. I can't get the final inspection sign-off until it's painted. Only one man is working on it after the shingles were all removed. His helper got hurt and hasn't been able to work, so he has to work solo. I don't know why the company hasn't gotten him another helper. My neighbor (the good one) told me yesterday he has been watching him and checking out the materials he is using and they are all high grade materials. He is even going to get a bid for his roof from the same company and he is going to ask for the same guy that is doing my roof.
Barb, that's a good recommendation from your neighbor. I think U told us how your car was trapped and I forgot. I'll be you're getting anxious to try it out. It's fun getting a new car, isn't it. We really have to keep ours thrubthe full lease. We never do but with louis retiring next year it just makes me nervous. Mine isn't very old but I will,have a lot more safety features on this one I'm getting.
I imagine you are ready for roof to be done. It is kind of surprising they didn't get that guy a helper. I would think that's a huge job alone. Hope he gets paid good!!
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