by Dianne
An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice on reviving her husband's libido.
"What about trying Viagra?" asked the doctor.
"Not a chance" she replied "He won't even take an aspirin".
"Not a problem," said the doctor. "Give him an Irish Viagra.”
"What on Earth is Irish Viagra?" she asked.
"It's Viagra dissolved in his morning cup of coffee. He won't even taste it. Let me know how it goes," he said.
She called the doctor the very next afternoon. "How did it go?" he asked.
"Oh faith, bejaysus and begorrah, doctor, it was terrible. Just horrid, I tell ya! I'm beside meself!"
"Oh, no! What in the world happened?"
"Well, I did the deed, Doctor, just as you advised. I put the Viagra in his morning coffee, and he drank it. Well, you know, it took effect almost immediately, and he jumped straight up out of his chair with a smile on his face, a twinkle in his eye and his pants a-bulging. Then, with one fierce swoop of his arm, he sent the cups, saucers, and everything else that was on the table flying across the room, ripped me clothes to tatters and passionately took me then and there, right on top of the table. T’was a nightmare, I tell ya, an absolute nightmare!"
“Why so terrible?" asked the doctor. "Wasn't the sex good?"
"Freakin jaysus, it was the best sex I've had in me last 25 years, but sure as I'm sittin here, doctor, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!
9 comments:
Well, that was hilarious!
I went back to get caught up on the blogs.
Washer and dryer are in & I love them! I am so glad not to have to go to the laundromat again!
My computer took a dive too! We hd to wait on parts so Matthew could build me a new one. This is the first I have been online with my pc for a week! I really missed it. Bad part is that O had to reload all my bookmarks. Hopefully I can retrieve my pics and music from the cloud thingy.
I have been out planting my garden. I have tomatoes,cukes, potatoes, one pumpkin and 2 zucchini mounds. Tonight I was out surrounding it with a fence. Jim can't control Queenie from tromping on it! I have no problem. She minds me! Men! Lol!
i WENT THROUGH A BUNCH OF OLD FILES,USELESS PAMPLETS,UNKNOWN PEOPLE PICS LOL, OLD MEDICAL FILES ETC.
Dam I didn't notice I had my caps on. Oh well too bad, I'm leaving it lol!!
Matthew had his last school bussing day until fall. He got nice gifts from parents who love him as well as the kids. They got together and made a card where they all signed. I will put it on
FB tomorrow. Too cute.
I hope you are all fine. I am pooped!
Hi…well, five months from now I’ll be 77. I can’t believe I’m so old ! I forgot this blog it was really funny. Louis went to jewelry store to get my rings six month checkup. I went and we took travel chair. He can lift it now. There’s a craft shops in the mall so he did rings and then sat and waited for me. I love craft places and did some shopping but I had to remind myself we r cutting back on gifts. It’s really hard for me. Then we went to Applebees for the 2/$25 dinner. We never just go out anymore no phone and we talked…mostly me. It was like a date. We alway bring things home to eat. I went to the grocery store with him the other day. I never go. The bill is double when I go. GUESS WHAT? I bought pork chops to cook a recipe in the crock pot sometime soon. Ok get up off the ground from fainting! I have an easy way to fix them and got an urge. I hope they don’t get freezer burned in a year and I’ll have to toss them. I need to cook them before I’m 77 …way too old to cook. OH ONE MORE THING….I’m making rice too. I’m crock pot.
Mary, that’s nice your son gets gifts. What kind of things do they give him? We go pick up Louis’s new wedding ring tmrw again we went two days ago and his was too big. I accidentally got a ring to attach to a ring I had made from my grandmothers ring. Ha ha it was too small so back we go tmrw. It’s Louis Father’s Day, birthday and Christmas gifts. See already have some of my shopping done already. We r having such bad weather. Rain and hail every after day. Tonight was terrible . Weather says wet may and June. Hate the hail almost as bad as the snow! Almost. Mary glad youre done with the laundromat
We r watching our basketball Nuggets in the play offs. If we have to win two more games and then we r the champions for the first time. Playoffs r exciting to watch and I don’t even like basketball. We r going to a going away gathering for my nephew. He sold a nice house and business and is renting in Florida for six months just to see if he likes it. He hates the snow.
Won’t be time for football. The time is zooming by. JL what have u been up to? R u going to travel anymore? I have a friend that’s going to a bed and breakfast for four days in Wyoming over the 4th. She’s single and does a lot alone. Shevantbwait fr fur days to relax. It sounds very boring to me but I’m not an alone person much.
Barb, how r things with your sister going? Does she have a bathroom yet? Is she ok using a bucket? I don’t think I would be at all what do u have planned for them summer?
Well, I wanted to post so hopefully you all will soon
Barb I'm sorry you had to get a lawyer to deal with your sister's HOA. How ridiculous! I'm surprised the health department isn't involved. It's not okay to have an elderly person put up with not having a working toilet. I would be hopping mad. I hope your lawyer scares them into action and FAST!
I'm glad you were able to go to the celebration of life with your sister-in-law. It sounds like there was a very nice turnout. Did you stay at your Time Share that wasn't too far from the gathering?
I was being plagued by mosquito bites a couple of weeks ago. I never saw them but I would suddenly have a couple of bites on my forearms or upper chest. I finally decided maybe I should take a look under the back deck to see if there was any standing water there where they might be breeding. Sure enough, there was. So I took care of that and a few days later, the biting finally stopped. Do you ever having a mosquito issue due to the nearby river or is that always moving enough to not be a breeding ground on the banks?
Dianne I'm not a shopper like you are but I did just receive the first purchase of a Christmas gift for my daughter. It may be more of a stocking stuffer but it is a coffee mug that has a design of the street in Paris with the Moulin Rouge on it. I got one for me, too, as it is a reminder of a fun memory from when she and I went to the Moulin Rouge. It was a very cool dinner and show. It seems like you usually forget where you hide all the gifts you buy so maybe you should make a list while their location is fresh in your memory. :)
I'm continuing my commitment to get rid of one thing every day. Yesterday it was two boxes of bullets I found way in the very back of an upper closet that I sorted through. I thought I could turn them in at the police station but they directed me to the gun shop that we now have in town.
Did you make your crock pot pork chop recipe, yet? I wouldn't mind having that recipe if you want to share.
Mary I'm glad your washer and dryer are installed and your computer fixed. When it rains it pours. I'm afraid to even think about my washer and dryer as I'm afraid I will jinx them. There pretty old but work great. I don't think they make thangs to last like they used to in the old days.
I wish I was a gardener but I'm not. I'm having zucchini for dinner and I had to buy it at the store. Are you going to make anything special for Jim on Father's Day? Most days I really don't feel like cooking. It's more rewarding to cook for someone else who appreciates it.
Well I just wrote along blog and now it’s gone. Will be back later
SacBarb. I love my new appliances! Lets hope they last a while!
I sure hope you find a place for your Sister. How sad to be in such a fix. I worry about things like that and hope my Sons never have to deal with that with me!
Dianne. You are the sweetest! You sure made my day with the Birthday/half card! I had no idea they even had them! It's nice to have be thought of :)
My son gets all kinds of gifts from the children that ride his bus, like hand made doo dads, cards, candy & cookies. The parents give gift cards.He especially loved a card one of the students made and secretly had the kids sign, while riding the bus home.
They said that they would miss him,loved him, and hoped he stayed as their bus driver. Some were so cute.
Justlin,I bought a nice roast & carrots for tomorrow. I will make home made biscuits, mashed taters, corn, and chocolate pudding. Since he quit smoking, his appetite has been ferocious lol!
We drove to Raquel's for her baby shower. It was a 2 hour drive. I am glad there wasn't a lot of traffic! It is a route taken by semis from Chicago to Detroit and week days , a horrible drive. Lots of accidents!. All went well. I drove lol1 I was getting a bit frustrated with Jim. I use my navigator and take the same route when going alone. Well Jim insisted on going a different way. Said it was the way we always go. (he has only gone with me once before). I gave in and wheat a mess! It took us on a very tricky drive. On & off different highways. I tried to keep my cool! My jaws hurt from grinding my teeth! We would still be driving if I took all the exits he wanted me to take lol! Needless to say, we came back my way!! Much smoother and less stress even with the detour! We wont go there!!
I am pooped and off to bed!
Mary, glad u received your 1/2 birthday card. I have a great card place. I even found a hysterectomy card for my cousin I didn’t realize or remember Raquel was having a baby. The drive not so fun. Sounds like you r still cooking a lot. Glad u r loving your appliances. That’s sweet of the kids that they like him that much.
JL, the recipe is pork chops on bottom of crockpot mix two cans of cream of chicken soup and an envelope of ranch dressing. Cook on low for five hours. I haven’t done it yet. I’m not shopping as much this year for many reasons that louis will leave me if I do it and we just can’t afford it. I was at a craft thing last week and I still bought some things for me. I had to drag myself to not get gifts for anyone. I’ve suggested to our two groups that we just buy for the kids and everyone has agreed. Our one with Tammy’s group was $250 each. None of us even know what to get each other. Rude andy responded that if I didn’t go to lunch so much I’d still want to do it. I wrote back I wasn’t looking for advice. Pissed me off! No one can even hardly make a list anymore. We will buy for the girls. He’s too opinionated. I felt telling him to call my Dr that helps me manage depression …jerk. He’s not the same guy as when he was married to Tammy.
Barb, I feel so bad for u and your sister. Can Medicade be involved with her care ? And not having a bathroom. I’m like JL I don’t think that’s legal. I’d sure check. I’m sorry about your Goddaughter. So sweet about catching your bouquet. Very nice that she kept it all those years
We’re going to Greeley to my uncles for a bbq tomrw. It’s about 1-1/2 hours away. Louis will drive I don’t want to use my gas! Had my hair done yesterday and Em did too and then we went to late lunch. Nice spending time with them. Last week we went to my nieces for a going away party for my nephew. He’s on his way to Florida. He’s sick of our snow…so am I we’ve had so much rain and hail,everyday. As someone said “it’s gone from winter to fall”. Not great. Only in 50’s today. I’m not going to proofread as Louis is waiting for me to watch the cheerful news! Hope you all r feeling good. ❤️
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