by Dianne
A nun was sitting at the airport, waiting for her flight to Chicago .
She looked over in the corner and saw one of those weight machines that tells your fortune and thought to herself, “I’ll give it a try and see what it tells me.”
She went over to the machine, stepped up on the scale and put her nickel in. Out came a card that read, “You are a nun. You weigh 128 lbs., and you are going to Chicago .”
The nun sat back down and told herself that the machine probably gives the same card to everyone.
The more she thought about it, the more curious she got so she decided to try it again.
She went back to the machine and again put her nickel in. Out came a card that read: “You are a nun. You weigh 128 lbs. You are going to Chicago and you are going to play a fiddle.”
The nun says to herself, “I know that is wrong. I have never played a musical instrument even once in my life.” She sat back down.
From out of nowhere a cowboy came over and sat down, putting his fiddle case on the seat between them. Without thinking, she opened the cowboy’s case, took out the fiddle, and started playing beautiful music.
Surprised at what she had done, she looked over at the machine, thinking “This is incredible. I’ve got to try this again.”
Back to the machine she went, put in another nickel, and another card came out. It read, “You are a nun. You weigh 128 lbs. You are going to Chicago and you are going to break wind.”
Now she knows the machine is wrong as she thought to herself “I’ve never broken wind in public a single time in my life.”
But getting down off the machine she slipped, and as she was straining to keep herself from falling to the floor, she broke wind.
Absolutely stunned, she sat back down and looked at the machine. She said to herself, “This is truly remarkable. I’ve got to try this again.”
She went back to the machine, put in another nickel, and another card came out. It read, “You are a nun. You weigh 128 lbs. You have fiddled and farted around and missed your flight to Chicago.”
11 comments:
I just wrote a huge blog and it’s gone. I’ll be back tmrw
Mary how are things going there? Do you go to the casino much? Barb and I went two weeks ago for about three hours. I came home 70 dollars to the good. I like to go once in awhile. D I’d I tell you about my old hairdresser? She w ent up there and won 200,000 nickels. It came out to $10,000. Her friend had a free spin on another casino so my friend played not max on a slot machine and won $27,900. She came home with $37,900. Can you believe it? She was going to pay off her car and go on vacation…bad part she is going to Vegas and she is a gambler. I would be so thrilled to win that kind of money once. I get excited for $35.
JL what.s up with you? Did you decide to your daughters? It would probably be fun for you. Are you still getting your hair and nails done? I was going to tell you some fun movies I have seen…A Man Called Otto, Book Club 1 & 2 and 80’s for Brady. They are so funny. I don’t really see anything out ther that interests me out there.
Okay I hope I am caught up and now I hope I can post and not lose this. Night. ❤️
Dianne, I rarely go th the Casino. Jim goes every week. He is there now. It's just a little over an hour drive. I was thinking of going up this wee end. Tonight I will be busy putting up corn. I ordered 4 doz from good friends of mine. They have the best tri colored corn. I would get more but my hands start to spasm from all the husking. Jim & Matt are not huskers lol! The corn is so much better then anything I get in the stores.
SacBarb. I am wondering what all the excitement is of the Barbie movie lol. I am so out of the loop. It takes a lot to get me to go alone to a movie. I think Star Wars, Harry Potter and Monster in law were the last I have been to. I used to go with my sil until she passed4 yrs ago.
I still can't get over that dream lol!
Dianne Jane and I did see A Man Called Otto when it was in the theaters and we enjoyed it. I'm not really interested in the other ones you mentioned. Maybe the Brady one, even though I don't like Brady, but I do like Sally Field. I pretty much avoid movies with Diane Keaton anymore as they always have her do her "startled big laugh". I wait for it to happen, it does, and then I feel annoyed about it. It's a gimmick and is lazy writing and lazy acting, IMO. Julia Roberts is a very good serious actress but they do the same thing to her in her comedies. The big "Julia laugh". Annoying as hell.
How is your bruised arm? Would you believe I hurt my back and my knee the other night while cutting my toenails. Ridiculous! What happened to the days when I could do cartwheels, backbends, and the splits? Now I can jurt myself leaning forward in my own home.
I would rather my daughter come here for Christmas like she usually does. Not only easier for me but I don't really have the shoes or clothes for a wet, possibly some snow, winter weather in Oregon. I haven't made up my mind about it.
Barb Yesterday I had an appointment with the dermatologist for a full scan of my body. Fortunately, she didn't find anything of interest; just the usual freckles, spots, and barnacles. LOL The dissolving sutures in the incision on my scalp still hadn't shed as they were kind of stuck in scabbing. She got all of those out which wasn't particularly pleasant for me but I'm glad she did as my fingers wanted to fiddle with them. They felt like little spikes sticking up around the incision. I had Googled it and it said it could take months for them to get pushed out. Glad it's done.
I'm drinking a cup of coffee which I hardly ever do in the afternoon. I didn't have breakfast and then had a late lunch. After eating, I felt sooooo tired. I needed this boost.
Tomorrow Jane is coming over. I don't know if we'll have leftovers or order something delivered. We will watch "Justified: Primal City" which I record on Tuesday nights and then we will switch to "The Lincoln Lawyer" on Netflix. We are enjoying both series, plus we think the lead actors are cute. :)
Mary Those ears of corn looked gorgeous! What do you do with so much corn? Do you freeze the ears or take the kernels off and freeze in batches? Your menfolk should been helping with shucking the corn. They sure will help eat it. LOL
If I was as lucky as you, I'd be going to the casinos once a month or so. It's a good thing I don't live near a casino or else I'd probably have a "problem". LOL
I bet you're making something delicious for dinner. I have no idea what I'm doing. I still have salad left over from lunch so maybe I'll just heat up some soup to go with it. I'm not feeling inspired at all.
JustLin,I scald the corn and dip it in ice water, then put in freezer bags. It stays good all winter. Tonight we had Matthew's favorite meal (besides pizza & tacos). I make meatloaf burgers/ mini meat loafs, only everyone gets the crunchy part lol! Also had mashed taters and of course sweet corn off the cob.
My veggies are coming in. I have never seen such a huge Zucchini plant! Reminded me of that movie " Little Shop of Horrors". Each leaf is at least 15-20" wide! My cukes are about done. Taters & tomatoes will be ready soon.
You talked me into going to the Casino tomorrow lol!!!!
Mary Did you go to the casino and did you win?
I was unsettled today for a short time. I had several errands to run and the first stop with the hardware store to pick up a bag of bird seed. I went to pay with my debit card and couldn't find it! I ended up paying with a credit card as I didn't have enough cash on me. I had two more stops before I went home to check for the card there. No card. I checked and saw that the last time i used it was 2 days ago when I picked up salad and clam chowder at Sourdough & Co. I gave them a call and, hallelujah, they had my card in their register drawer. I have no idea how I ended up leaving it there but I'm sure happy to have it back.
JustLin. I lost $100 :( Oh well, I had a good time getting away for a while.
I have misplaced my Debit card a few times too. I usually find it in my purse when I get home.
I had a weird thing happen the other day. About 4 months ago I lost/misplaced my bank safety deposit box key. I was sure it was lost either in my office or my Jeep. Matthew told me I should tell the bank, because if something happened to me they would have a hell of a time getting into my box. I put it off and forgot about it A couple days ago I got a phone call from my bank telling me someone turned in my key. Said they found it on the floor??? No other explanation. I had a tag on it from the bank and all three of our first names (Jim, Mary, Matt) . Where has it been for 4 months? Wasn't dirty or damaged in any way. Strange.
5:50 and 88* here! I tried working outside raking up old mulch. I didn't last long lol! I'll wait till it cools off and the skeeters come out!
Mary, losing $100 isn’t too bad. That’s about all I allow myself to lose when I gamble and I almost always lose. That’s why I don’t love to go! When the Tessies used to go on our annual girls trip, my two sisters-in-law and hubbie’s cousin, Shirley, gambled a lot and my Godchild, Debbie, and would usually go to a movie after we lost our $100. We haven’t done that trip since Shirley, passed away about 6 years ago and Debbie, passed away in May. She was the baby of the group by about 22 years.
There is a place about 30 minutes from us that has really good corn. I keep saying we should go get a bunch and freeze it. We haven’t bought any in the grocery store this year, because it looked awful. Chad puts it in the microwave for about 2-3 minutes and the husks slide right off, silk and all. You should try that. Your hands will thank you.
Dianne, How are you and Louis doing? Have I missed your updates? I got a new iPhone and I had to het a new case because my old one didn’t fit. It reminded me of when you sent me all those cases you had and I gave them to my friend, Jennifer. She loved them all and even found $20 hidden in one. You were surprised when I sent it back to you! I bet you look carefully before you get rid of old cases now! LOL
JL, I got a new bed and it was delivered today. I’m looking forward to getting a good night’s sleep tonight. I had a sleep number bed that was 20 years old and it needed a new pump. I ordered one in September and it was on back order. I kept calling and asking about an ETA and there was always an excuse so I finally cancelled it. I’m giving most of the parts to a friend of Chad’s who has a sleep number bed. Some of the parts are fairly new. My new bed has an adjustable base that can raise the head and/or foot.
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