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Sunday, April 7, 2024

Never Argue with a Woman

 by Dianne

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out herself.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read a book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish & Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that quite obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I am reading!'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up a ticket.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.


MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

15 comments:

Mary/MI said...

Just checking in. Miss you gals.

sacBarb said...

Hello my lovely Owls. I am in sunny San Diego. Todd and Vicki leave for Washington, D. C. on Saturday and Sakima puppy and I will be having fun here. I had trouble getting into the blog again, and when I finally did it took me straight to the new blog without showing me any older comments. So forgive me if I don’t respond to any of your questions. I hope everyone is doing well. I’ll give you an update on my sister. She has been having some swelling and her new primary doctor increased her diuretic. She gained 15 lbs. and it’s probably from the swelling. I got another cortisone shot, this time in my right arm. The left arm hasn’t benefited much from the shot and if this arm is the same, my doctor will refer me to orthopedics. The PT said he thinks I have two rotator cuffs, but my primary doesn’t seem to think so. I need to wait two weeks from the last shot, which will be when I get back.

I hope you all are doing well. You all are still in my prayers. ❤️U all

Dianne said...

Hi….im here. Mary, how’s Jim doing today? I hope better. It’s so hard when you can’t breathe. I assume he’s on oxygen. How much is he on during the day there? He doesn’t use it at home, does he? Sorry you’re going through all this.

Barb, enjoy your time in San Diego. How long will u be there? Hope the weather is nice for you. I’m all of a sudden having shoulder pain so going in for shots in a couple of weeks I’m not having any surgery though. I’m done with that except maybe some toe surgery that I had scheduled for Nov but was in rehab. I’m just putting it off.

JL, how r you doing? Looking forward to your upcoming birthday? Hope you have some plans. We went to mountains for three days this Week. We always stay in the same cabins. I left three of my tops hanging in room but I already received them today. We had dinner with an old boss and his wife one night. Found a gift shop I spent a good hour in while Louis slept in the car. Louis fell as we were leaving and came close to hitting his head. He almost fell in r garage too Kayla came over to carry things in for us I just didn’t trust him going up those few stairs. He’s using a walker in and out of the house. Two drs r working on trying to find out what’s wrong. Back dr said he may end up with some surgery but someone has to help him and he’s in bad pain. I’ve been doing so much more than I was before rehab. I have energy and getting some projects done and not using the walker in the house so much. I’m able to help louis more. I’m surprising myself. Tammy found a job that sounds pretty good. She ended up with two offers. She starts Monday. One less thing to worry about now. That’s about my update as of now. Hope everyone is good.

sacBarb said...

Hello everyone. I am still in San Diego. Todd and Vicki come home tomorrow and I leave on Tuesday. It’s just been me and Sakima hanging out here. Tuesday night I went to dinner with Todd‘s best friend and his wife. We went to a Mexican place that was really good. I think Todd asked them to check up on me just to make sure everything was going OK here while they were gone. Kind of like the babysitter, checking up on the babysitter! LOL

DIANNE, I’m so sorry Louis is having so many falling incidents, but it sounds like you’re doing better. I’m still keeping everybody in my prayers. I’m glad Tammy has found a job and I hope it works out well for her.

Mary, I hope Jim is doing OK at home. Is he not smoking? I remember how hard that was for my hubby when he was trying to quit, many times. He was never really successful at it either.

JL, I was looking around the channels on the TV here yesterday, and I came across the McBee’s, So I got to watch the episode that I’m assuming ran earlier in the week. It’s nice to be down here. The weather is great but I’m really looking forward to getting home. Today is my grandson‘s birthday. He’s 33 years old.

Dianne said...

Hi. Sounds like u r enjoying some time in San Diego. I’m never ready to go home from any place! I’m glad the weather is good for u. We had 5” on snow sat but it melted fast. 70 today. I’m so over this snow. I went with my friend to Cheesecake Factory for lunch. She picked me and the walker up so I could be dropped off by the door. Nice to have someone else drive. Expensive even off the lunch menu and $5 for a Coke! And of course we had to have cheesecake. My bill before tip was $40 and I ordered off the lunch menu. I can’t afford those kind of lunches often since I go out every day. Yes barb, I’m doing really good you should see me go up those stairs. I’m getting some smaller clothes too since losing weight. I did go to shoulder dr last week about my right shoulder as it’s hard to even put my bra on or lift my arm. He is having a mri of my shoulder next week. He said I might need a shoulder replacement or rotator cuff. I’m not doing anything. I’ll try an injection I’m well and don’t want to have anything else done. Besides, I’m trying to get Louis well. So many drs as I’m going to all his appointments too. We have a bone class wed that the nurse said I should come with him.

Mary, how’s Jim doing? I was wondering about the smoking too. He’s lucky he didn’t have to come home on oxygen. How often will your home nurse come there and what will she do? Scary week for you and stressful.

JL, how r things going? Was your daughter able to find a job yet? It’s so hard out there. We have a couple of little trips planed in June for a few days here and there. We will …I will….have to find someone to help unload car when we get home. It’s just too hard for louis although I helped a lot last week when we came home from mountains but I can’t carry anything up the stairs. Y friend today she’d be glad to help. She doesn’t live far either. I’m chomping at the bit to go on a cruise back to Alaska. That will be awhile but I still have hope some day. That’s about it for my up to date life. Have a safe trip back barb. Oh, I’m so sad that the golden bachelor is already getting divorced. I liked them together.

Mary/MI said...

Hi all! The last 10 days have been very trying! Jim was in bad shape and almost lost him all due to his copd. He had been smoking on the sly longer then I was aware. He got pretty crafty about it.Unfortunately it all cought up with him. He was wheezing couldn't breath. He actually drove down to the VFW to have a beer and talk with his buddies! When he got back i asked him if I could take him to the hospital. He refused & said he would be fine, well it was plain he was struggling. I told him I would give him 3 options. He had to pick one..Go by ambulance, my driving him, or just die in bed. He let me drive him! He was afraid they would keep him..well, duh!
Our local hospital was going to keep him for a few days until his blood results came in. They immediately transferred him by ambulance to Lansing. 3 days later they took him out of icu to a regular room. It was so tiny you could barley put a chair by his bed plus he had a roomie by the window. I,m not sure why, but when I went to visit him he was a total mess! His anxiety was over the roof. He was psychotic! We could not convince him that he was not on a train! He kept staring at the wall where the oxygen dial thingy was. He was sure it would tell him when the train arrived so he could get on & go home. Very spooky! The next day he was sure he was on a bus! the next day he was more coherent.
They had given him some drug to calm down his anxiety/nicotine withdrawals.
I was driving 80 miles round trip once or twice a day. His son's from Montana were here 6 days. They had planned a visit for next month so they just came earlier.
I am so glad they have gone home (today)! Cooking and cleaning for 2 extr men 'bout done me in! I did order out twice, made breakfast every day and did their laundry all while visiting Jim. Matthew took care of Zoie & Queenia and kept the house chores up, while still working.
Oxygen: It is hard for people to understand why Jim didn't come home with oxygen.. His levels have always been good. The problem is his copd. He has oxygen, it just isn't circulating properly through his body due to his copd/smoking. His heart is good. He has a bit of dementia.
The Dr told him there is no cure and it will get worse and will have more hospital trips.
I think the "bulb" over his head finally came on! He has been warned many times & many years to stop smoking.
His sons were getting on my nerves! Jim gets agitated easily and tends to stress and repeat himself until he calms down. Well after the home care gal left, he was a bit confused as to all the new, temp meds and new nebulizer and I could see he was frustrated, so I told his sons to please quit answering his repeated questions until he calmed down and could understand them better. Well, I could tell they were about to burst out and give me some crap, but they kept quiet and went outside. They lit the sauna and stayed outside quite a while.
They only see him once a year. They have no idea how stressful Jim gets when over stimulated with too much commotion. Even in Vegas he would have light meltdowns. I felt bad that they didn't understand and probably thought I was being a bitch!
They left this morning. Jim is asleep in his chair, something he hasn't been able to do because his sons would go in & out and wake him often. They left in somewhat good terms understanding they may not see him alive again.
Jim and his sons (me incl) all gathered at the table and went over his last will and testament. I made copies for them both. I feel bad that Jim left my sons out, especially Matthew since he has been the one to be here and cover for him many times.
My novel is over. I will get much needed rest soon. All too much for this old gal lol!

Just_Lin said...

Mary, it looks like we were writing at the same time. It seems his sons don't know how to behave as guests in your home. I'm sorry they weren't more of a help to you. They should have been buying dinners, at least.

sacBarb said...

Mary, I am so sorry you and Jim are going through this. I pray he continues to improve. Has he decided to really quit smoking? Did this scare him enough? You also need to take care of you! You both are still in my prayers. I pray for all of us every night!

Dianne, I’m so glad you’re doing better. I requested a referral to a orthopedics for a better diagnosis of my shoulder and arm pain. The cortisone shots have not helped at all. My left arm felt a little better for about two days, but now both arms are worse than before the shots! I’m not sad about the Golden Bachelor.

JL, I am caught up on the McBee’s. I watched a marathon on YouTube TV over the weekend. I’m not as impressed with Steve as I was when he was on Joe Millionaire. Todd and Vicki get home tonight around 7:00ish. I leave for Sac tomorrow at 1:30. My neighbor is picking me up from the airport. I will be very happy to be home. Chad finally had an appointment today with the cardiologist. They sent him home with the heart monitor, which will wear for two weeks and then return to the doctor to hopefully get more information about the episode that he had that put him in the hospital.

sacBarb said...

JL, I am glad to be home. When I came in the door, Mellie cat came running to greet me. Tara cat was nowhere to be seen. I called for her and nothing! Chad wasn’t home and my neighbor helped me get my luggage inside. I called Tara cat again, and I could hear her bell on her collar. Then all of a sudden, there she was. I put the collar on her because she doesn’t meow, and she hides in places where I can’t find her, so it helps me locate her. Anyway, once they saw I was there, they promptly went away and ignored me for the rest of the afternoon and evening. Tara did come in the bedroom when I was getting ready for bed and slept on my bed, so I guess I was forgiven. 😸
I had the cheese enchilada plate at dinner. It was so good, but a lot of food with the rive and beans. I took half of home and ate it for lunch the next day.

Mary, I hope Jim is doing well at home and you’re getting some rest, too.

Dianne, your post made me hungry for Cheesecake Factory food. They have an Asian chicken salad I like and of course, cheesecake!

sacBarb said...

Oops - I meant rice*

Mary/MI said...

Just checking in. I will write later. Way too many appointments for Jim and I have had a few. Taking him to his primary Dr this afternoon.

Mary/MI said...

Well, here I am. Most days I have been too exhausted to write. I have not bothered to put on make up except for eye liner and mascara. I have been wearing "shaggy sheik" cloths and rarely looking at a mirror to fix my hair. Not a good visual of me lol!
Jim has been outside walking and taking his meds along with his new "forever friend" the nebulizer.He still gets a bit dizzy, but looking good to me. So far not smoking, but eating like a horse!
Matt & I have been walking & feeding his dog, Queenie, twice a day, plus my Zoie. Today I had enough! I indulged myself in a new tv for my home office. Mathew put together a nice stand and programed the new tv for me.
I did laundry, changed bedding,cleaned frig, took care of Zoie. I finally sat down after dinner while in the middle of folding laundry, Jim walked in and wanted to know why I hadn't fed & walked his dog . Well, that was the last straw! I put my pooped out foot down & told him from now on I will walk her in the morning & he will do it in the evening and he will do both in a week! I swear!!
Like the dogs, he is eating good, pooping good and sleeping good lol! No more pampering to a guy who brought it down on himself.
I took him to his primary Dr Thurs. She said all looked good if he stays off cigs he may keep out of hospital, but he is to see her before he gets that bad again, to avoid the hospital.
On our way home, I pointed out a nursing home and told him that is where he will be going next time because I can no longer care for him at the risk of my health... I meant it!
I am such a bitch lol!

Just_Lin said...

Mary, you are NOT a bitch! Jim needs to accept some hard truths about how his lack of care for himself is selfish and having a huge impact on the rest of the household, mainly you! You deserve a gold medal but I guess a new TV will do. LOL I'm sure glad you have Matthew there to help you.

sacBarb said...

Mary, I agree with JL. You are DEFINITELY NOT a bitch. Jim needs to realize the toll this is taking on you and how selfish it is on his part! I didn’t realize how worn out I was going back and forth to my sister’s, sometimes more than once, until we moved her and I wasn’t doing it anymore! You need to take care of yourself, too! I’m still praying for all of us and our families. I keep saying, these ‘golden years’ are not what they’re cracked up to be! That gold is more like RUST in my case, anyway!

JL, Is you knee feeling better with PT? I sent an email to my primary asking for a referral to orthopedics. The cortisone shots didn’t help at all. I thought the first one was working for a little bit, but now it feels worse than it did before. I hope it doesn’t take too long to get an appointment.

Dianne, thanks for the half-birthday wishes. I have never remembered it before! I hope you’re still doing well. Is Louis improving at all?

Just_Lin said...

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