~ Tayvis ~

 

Tayvis - what is your opinion on these two? I know you have one! 

~ Krispy Kreme ~

This is just all kinds of wrong! Krispy Kreme thinks if you can't go to Paris for the Olympics, they'll bring a little bit of Paris to you. Introducing the Passport to Paris collection:

Crème Brûlée Doughnut: This is an unglazed doughnut filled with crème brûlée-flavored Kreme, dipped in a caramel icing reminiscent of crème brûlée, and finished with a topping of caramelized sugar crunch. 

Double Chocolate Éclair Doughnut: This unglazed doughnut comes with a chocolate custard Kreme filling, is dipped in chocolate icing, and is garnished with chocolate crisp pearls. 

Raspberry & Vanilla Crème Doughnut: Featuring the classic Original Glazed doughnut, this treat is dipped in raspberry icing, sprinkled with cookie pieces, and crowned with a dollop of vanilla Kreme.

The Salesman

 By Dianne

A young guy from Nebraska moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. 

The manager asks, "Do you have any sales experience?" 

"Yes," the young man replies, "I was a salesman back in Omaha." 

The interview goes well and the man gets the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did." 

His first day on the job is rough, but he gets through it. After the store is locked up, the boss comes down. 

"How many customers bought something from you today?" he asks. 

"One," the man replies. 

The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?" 

The kid replies, "$101,237.65." 

"$101,237.65?!" the boss repeats, flabbergasted. "What the heck did you sell?" 

"Well, first, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Boston Whaler. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition." 

"A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?" the boss asked. 

The young man said, "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing.'

~ Happy Mother's Day ~

 

~ Happy Star Wars Day/Cinco de Mayo ~

 

~ Happy May Day ~

 

Never Argue with a Woman

 by Dianne

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out herself.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read a book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish & Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that quite obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I am reading!'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up a ticket.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

~ Happy Easter ~

 

~ Happy St. Patrick's Day ~

 

Jim

 by Dianne

Crocodile Farm

 by Dianne

When a group of tourists visited a crocodile farm, the owner of the place launched a bold proposal, "Whoever dares to jump, swim to the shore, and survive, I'll give you $1,000,000."

No one dared to move. 

Suddenly, a man jumped into the water, desperately swam, and made it to the shore while being chased by all the crocodiles.

The owner announced, "We have a brave winner!!"

After the man collected his reward, he and his wife returned to the hotel. Upon arrival, the manager told him that he had been very brave to jump. To which the man replied, "I didn't jump! Someone pushed me!" 

His wife smiled.

Moral - Behind every successful man, there's a woman who pushes him!

~ Happy Valentines Day ~

An Irishman in Canada

 by Dianne

Take Off

 by Dianne

Wife and Husband

 by Dianne

~ Happy New Year ~