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Monday, March 7, 2011

The Six Answers We've All Been Waiting For:

by Sac Barb

Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND NIPPLES FOR?
A: It's Braille for 'Suck here.' 

Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'down under.'

Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
A: Because when they came, they were wild and wet, but when they went, they took your house and car with them. 

Q: WHY DO WOMEN RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?
A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch. 

And Finally :
Q: WHAT IS A MAN'S ULTIMATE EMBARRASSMENT?
A: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose!

30 comments:

DeeDee said...

BAM!!

DeeDee said...

those are funny...lol....speaking of nipples I have my areola waxing later this morning...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=As6s4Vt_3uw

Lynn D said...

Morning Glories!

BAM to DeeDee!!!

That last one would be the ultimate embarrassment wouldn't it? lol

I am home and missing the beach already.

Dianne/Denver said...

Morning everyone--up too early to be the airport shuttle for husband. Its snowing and icy- yuck. Bbl

Bebbilane said...

DeeDEE: Bammm a licious! :) Beautiful too.

Good morning..loved them all very funny!! :)

Lynn: Good morning!! :)

Dianne: Be careful!

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb Thanks for the laughs today. I really LOL @ the Australian kiss.

Just_Lin said...

DeeDee Congrats on being the prettiest today. You'll be even prettier after your procedure this afternnon.

Just_Lin said...

LynnD I hope you get another get-away soon.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Be careful driving and walking on that ice. You don't need to fall again.

Just_Lin said...

Bebbi Waving at you. Hope you have a great day.

DeeDee said...

Ross and Sal are on their way to a vacation spot that he is keeping a secret...

They left L.A. this morning and have a layover at DFW.....hmmm

the only hint he gave is "Lifes a Beach"....

and that could be anywhere...I guessed the northeast coast of Libya...

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

I'm here Dianne!

Very funny blog SacBarb! I like the Australian kiss!!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Sorry I haven't been here to comment. As of Saturday I had a 60 hour week and then yesterday I did 5 tax returns here at home. I did lay down in the afternoon but was interrupted after 30 minutes by someone wanting to pick up their tax returns. So I think I'll just go to bed now. Nighty night Owl...and DeeDee!

**waves at the Owls but glares at DeeDee**

Dianne/Denver said...

SACBARB: These were all so funny. I like them all....got an extra laugh out of number one.

It's cold and dreary here. Took MRD to airport, went to visit sick daughter and GD and then to Walmart and then home for a quick nap. I am meeting some friends for dinner "before the snow flies".

SHIRLEY: Glad you came by. We just like "check ins" to be sure everyone is doing okay. Do you HEAR ME GOLDIE, TINA, JODI, ETC.?

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Who's ETC?

Maureen said...

Good evening feathered friends!

SAC BARB...I'm surprised at you...telling dirty jokes! But they were funnnnny!! Thanks for the needed laughs!!

SHIRLEY...nice to see ya!

DIANNE...hope you had a nice dinner out.

DEE DEE...that sounds awfully painful. **shudders**

LYNN...maybe you can truck in a couple tons of sand for your backyard! I know, not the same as getting away.

JUST LIN...are you all recovered from your cold?

BEBBI...waving a wing at you!Hope all is well.

Maureen said...

So, is anyone watching The Bachelor?
Did ya watch the reunion show? It was pretty good tv!
Who do you think he icked? I think it was Emily.

sacBarb said...

Hello Owls.

DeeDee, all I can say is OUCH!

Lynn, too bad you couldn't say longer. Maybe you can get away again soon.

Dianne_Bachin'_It_In_Denver, Do we need to get the bail fund ready?

Shirley, How long does Tax Season last in Canada?

Mo, Should I be ashamed of myself for sending this blog? I am watching the Bachelor as I write this. It sounds like Michelle gave herself that black eye! Am I wrong? Awww, now she is crying...boo hoo! I didn't like her at all! I think Brad is afraid of Emily's daughter, so I think he will ick Chantell (sp?).

J/L, I hope you are over your cold.

Bebbi, I hope all is OK with you.

Mary/MI said...

Hi everyone! This is my first time online today.It was a dry & beautiful day so I was out & about.
After a meeting, making pizza, doing laundry and putting it away I am pooped!
I made a decision to give up being Tres. at the VFW. It has been more work then I care to handle.If any of you have ever belonged to an organization you know what chaos goes on among members. I hate chaos & infighting! I told the Ladies I was taking a break from the VFW. I told my Hubby that coming home I felt like a big weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I say 7 years of being a temporary Treas. is enough lol!

SaBarb, I sure needed the laughs :)
I am off to farm & then to bed. Nite all!!

iteach said...

Good night everyone. :)

Mary/MI said...

Nite Jennifer and all. Z-Z-Z-Z-Z

Maureen said...

SAC BARB...I kinda felt sorry for Michelle! Those women were brutal!

MARY...7 years as TEMPORARY treasurer? I'd say you fulfilled your duty!

JENNIER...sweet dreams to you.
And sweet dreams to all! G'night!

whabbear said...

Barb, yes, you should be very ashamed! It was just shocking, I tell you! Offensive and shocking!

But, well, um, I loved it anyway! Especially the Braille joke and the Australian Kiss!

whabbear said...

Dee Dee: How did the waxing go? Was Helen there, too? How did hers go?

Just_Lin said...

MO I am over my cold except for a lingering cough. It was my unusually low blood pressure and weak pulse that had everyone excited a few days ago when I was at the doctor's office. Now that I'm off of my blood pressure meds almost completely and my thyroid med has been increased, I'm feeling pretty good.

Just_Lin said...

Shirley Sounds like you have your work cut out for you. ;)

Just_Lin said...

Jennifer How nice to see you pop in tonight. Stay longer next time, okay?

Just_Lin said...

Mary Yep, I'd say that 7 years was more than enough to be temporary treasurer. Probably about 6 years too much. That was sure nice of you to do that for so long.

Just_Lin said...

Bear I hope we aren't leading you astray. ;)

Just_Lin said...

Sweet dreams, HOoters.