by Sac Barb
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day, the kids came back and, one by one,began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved.
But then the teacher asked Janie:
Janie, do you have a story to share?'
''Yes
ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot
in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy
territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a
survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle
wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.
She shot 15 of them with the
pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife,
till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare
hands.
''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher. 'What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?
"Stay away from Mommy when she's been drinking."
25 comments:
Morning Glories!
Just checking in. I have been feeling kind of yucky and sleeping a lot. I see my new Doctor on Friday about tummy problems maybe she can figure out what is going on.
Waving at everyone.
Morning Lynn. Hope new dr can help you. At least u r able to sleep.
Barb-cute blog.
I'm leaving on my home visit now to see if my hous is safe
BARB: Sounds like good advice to me..sheesh! :D
LYNN: I'm sorry to hear you're having stomach problems..hopefully you'll get some answers and help on Friday. :)
DI: Good Luck with the safety visit..I hope everything is A-ok and you're able to go home asap!!
It's gonna be a busy day here..pumpkins have to be carved..decorations for outside have to be organized so they can be moved out and set up quickly tomorrow..all that kind of Halloween stuff.
We got 8..maybe 9 of those big Costco bags of candy..that should be enough..I hope. I always worry about that..but we usually just make it.
To give you some idea of what kind of craziness is going on in this house..I turned the corner to go into the kitchen last night and there was a 10ft tall Incredible Hulk staring down at me..yikes!
Have a good day everyone..I'll be be-boppin' by later.. :)
LynnD I'm sorry you aren't feeling well. You haven't been getting into the Halloween candy, have you? Just kidding. I hope you feel better soon.
SacBarb Thanks for the blog. Sometimes a woman has to do what a woman has to do.
Dianne You get to go to your house on a kind of furlough? Kind of like being in jail and when you're time is up you'll be on probation for a while. You better behave yourself and follow all doctor's orders. LOL
Zona Yikes! I would rather have a hunk than a Hulk in my house.
J/LIN: How about a Hunky Hulk? ;) There's also a 6'6" Batman in the living room..will he do? :D
I washed my front hall throw rugs today..asked Rand to throw them in the dryer..which he did before he went out to carve more pumpkins. A few minutes later I smelled this awful smell..went into the laundry room and it seems he had forgotten to change the dryer setting..it was on high heat..sigh. The rugs used to have backing on them so they wouldn't slide..now..not so much. Oh man..what a mess.. I guess it's time for new rugs!!
Zona Who doesn't love a man in tights? LOL
Regarding your rugs: You have to be very, very specific with men.....even in the bedroom. LOL
JL, boy, you sound very experienced...in many phases.....yes, I went home for a trial. I passed everything sitting on chairs, shower, toilet and bed. It seems like I've been gone for a long time---three weeks. U can bet I will be following all dr orders.
Zona...I want to be home but not at yours right now. I think all the running around of randy could throw me over the edge. U r a good wife.
Dianne Well.....yeah!
I'm especially glad to hear you passed the test for getting on and off the toilet. I bet Louis is, too. That could get messy.
Where's Tinka?
Why isn't Tina moaning?
I think Shirley's been gone way too long.
JL ---I totally agree with you about our missing owls.
Mary -- r u sad because your baseball team lost. Come back, we still love you!!
As u say JL, it makes us worry when we don't hear from our friends soooooooo come back Mo, Tink, Tina, Shirley, and everyone else.
Good evening Owls.
Dianne, So glad you passed all the tests. I was never tested on the toilet. Glad to hear you plan to follow Dr. orders. It will help you heal faster.
J/L, I think a hunk would be much handier, too.
Zona, I never knew the dryer would do that to rugs. I always dry mine on high heat. Did it damage the dryer?
Lynn, I hope you're feeling better today.
Michael, I'm thinking 'bout ya.
I "felt" my name being mentioned :) I have been very busy.
Diane my neighbor who has been in & out of hospitals and nursing homes for 5 months,because of his 2 knee replacements, came home a few weeks ago to do the "home test" thing.
He passed too and finally came home. He has to have another surgery Dec 3rd.Hi problem has been constant infections, one being mersa (sp)
I have been over there every day taking his mail, doing chores, feeding cats, etc. He is the Italian I talked about before. Nice guy.
Wishing the best for you LynnD
Zona, Men! LOL!
Justlin, I LOL @ " You have to be very, very specific with men.....even in the bedroom" LOL
HI Barb!!
Diane, not sad about my Tigers more like Disappointed! Oh well, they did make the World Series!
Mary---that's right, you're team made it and how exciting was that for all the fans. So glad you are checking in, it must have been ESP lol. It's nice you are there to help your neighbor. That's bad he's been sick so long with knee issues. Very scary.
Barb---it was kind of weird to be sitting on a toilet with three people watching to be sure I do it right.
Only two more nights in this baby bed but only one and a half more days of regular meals. Guess its a toss up :)
Mary Congrats on the Tigers making it to the Series! We are a small little nest and you and I represent the teams in the World Series. That rocks!
Dianne Is it comforting to know that you you have mastered the art of going to the toilet? LOL
JL....yes, with an audience no less. I think I lost my shyness when I had kids but now even more.
It is pretty cool that we have the two World Series teams represented in our nest. I wish we would get so lucky for the Super Bowl too. You know like the Broncos and any of your teams---Green Bay, 49ers, Lions, Cardnals, (gulp) Raiders, Browns...I think those are all the pro teams in the nest. I really do know that some of us are in the same division and can't play each other but I'm just yakking
It's my bed time and I'm not sleepy and I cant get comfortable. Louis stays to help me get ready for bed and sweetly tucks me in about 11pm and then I'm wide awake. Ok, good night....talk to u all soon at blood draw 5am
Dianne That's sweet that Louis helps you prepare for bed.
Jl...it is sweet. He turns down the bed etc., while i get ready. He used to help with dressing and socks but now I can do it all on my own!! Tonight he was dozing while we were watching the storm special. Hope he'll be happy to have me home....we shall see by the second day when I ask what's for dinner!!!! :)
Dianne Show him who delivers and where he can get take-out.
I have every intention of doing that for dinners.
Morning....I'm waking up for pain meds and am wide awake...at 3:45am. These hours just aren't going to cut it.
Happy Halloween everyone.
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